When it crumbles

October 5, 2012 7:38 AM

The new James Bond outing Skyfall, has been discussed on the blue before. Today, on Global James Bond Day, the 50th Anniversary of the release of Dr. No, the theme song sung by current sensation Adele has been released.

It's being hailed as a return to the classic James Bond themes in the style of Goldfinger and Diamonds are Forever. Does the success of the theme song really predict the quality of the movie?

posted by sparklemotion (88 comments total)

I quite like the song, Bond theme or not.
posted by Solomon at 7:42 AM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

Still mourning the Amy Winehouse Bond-theme that was never to be.
posted by Egg Shen at 7:46 AM on October 5, 2012 [29 favorites]

I love the retro vibe of the song, but it's a bit monotonous -- I was into it for about a minute, but quickly became bored. Adele's compelling enough though that I stuck with it to the end.

I don't think the theme song says anything about the quality of the movie. I think what happens with the really bad movies is that, if the song is also crap, they sink together, but but if the song is good, it becomes totally separated from the film, so that eventually no one even remembers that it was a theme song.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 7:47 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Does the success of the theme song really predict the quality of the movie?

Most definitely not. Duran Duran's From A View to a Kill was a Number One hit back in 1985 (a lot of junior high school girls were Durannies back then), but the movie (including a Roger Moore/Grace Jones sex scene) is usually considered one of the worst in the series.
posted by jonp72 at 7:47 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Why is MIchelle Bachman spewing homophobic shit in the comments? How bizarre.
posted by fullerine at 7:48 AM on October 5, 2012

Still mourning the Amy Winehouse Bond-theme that was never to be.

Agreed, but apparently she was offered the Quantum of Solace theme and didn't want it. Dammit Amy.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:49 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Most definitely not. Duran Duran's From A View to a Kill was a Number One hit back in 1985 (a lot of junior high school girls were Durannies back then), but the movie (including a Roger Moore/Grace Jones sex scene) is usually considered one of the worst in the series.

One of the rare instances where the music video for a movie is better (or at least no worse) than the movie itself!
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 7:49 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

The song is dull and sounds exactly like what it is. Nothing surprising or moving at all in my opinion. Die Another Day is better than this.
posted by josher71 at 7:50 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

...A View to a Kill ... is usually considered one of the worst in the series.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

(I saw AVTAK at a very formative time in my life and I love everything about it)
posted by sparklemotion at 7:51 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

it's very Bondish, very meta. it fits Adele's writing & singing style like a glove. it kind of cements for me that Adele is the 21st century's Shirley Bassey. she sounds a lot like her in this track.
posted by liza at 7:55 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I fell down the rabbit hole of Bond theme songs and learned that Shannon Hoon of Blind Mellon did backing vocals on Guns and Roses cover of 'Live and Let Die.'

This bit of information is the Two in the One Two Punch of information that has set my mind reeling today for no discernible reason. (One being that 'Love Me Do' and Dr. No came out on the same day)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:55 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

Has any Bond villain had a better death scene than Christopher Walken's? I think not.
posted by Egg Shen at 7:56 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Hoon and Rose grew up in the same town, didn't they?
posted by mwhybark at 7:57 AM on October 5, 2012

I saw The Living Daylights with my Da and was really impressed by the theme song for some reason. I've made a studious effort not to listen to it since then because I know it won't sound as good to my adult ears.

I also kind of liked the song for Die Another Day because of how incredibly nonsensical the lyrics are. Bond themes aren't usually paragons of uncluttered lyrical narrative anyway, but Die Another Day was just astonishing in how little sense it made.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 7:58 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Die Another Day is notable for the video, which has like, water boarding and Madonna sword fighting herself with Buffy choreography.
posted by The Whelk at 8:01 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Good, right on shedule.
posted by Auden at 8:10 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Let the sky fall, rhubarb crumble
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:20 AM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]

I think the song is good (though I'd probably like the vocal equivalent of Adele reading the phone book), but though it is very what people think of when they think "great Bond themes", I think it really is the return of the chance that this type of song being popular (because of singers like Adele being popular) or even released to a mass market.

The Bond themes have always been 'of their time' and more reflective of pop music at the time than anything else -- was as true with "Goldfinger" as it was with "For Your Eyes Only" as it was with "View to a Kill" as it was with "Die Another Day." This is just the time where we're at now.

Like Liza says about it's metaness, since this is exactly what a lot of people think a Bond theme should sound like (even if most of them don't), I do think this sort of theme is great for the 50 anniversary of Dr. No's release however.

(Also I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the gaylicious dance remixes of "Skyfall" but my defense of "Die Another Day", if not most of my commenting history, probably gave that away.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:22 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oh and I hate bloody ubiquitous bloody bland middle of the road bloody moaning about paying her tax bloody Adele
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:22 AM on October 5, 2012

Has any Bond villain had a better death scene than Christopher Walken's? I think not.

HEY COME ON SPOILER ALERT JEEZ
posted by griphus at 8:23 AM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

I went to MoMA for the first time earlier this week, and was very, very stoked to find out that the title sequence of Goldfinger, with theme song playing, is actually displayed as a work of art in one of their galleries. My only quibble with that is that it probably should have been You Only Live Twice.
posted by COBRA! at 8:25 AM on October 5, 2012

Unsung great retro-y Bond themes!
posted by The Whelk at 8:26 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I hope the next one is called Daggerwind.
posted by howfar at 8:27 AM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]

'Love Me Do' and Dr. No came out on the same day.

Not only that, I just found out it's also the fiftieth anniversary of both today! What are the chances?
posted by phl at 8:27 AM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

This was good. It sure is a James Bond theme.

I kinda liked the last couple more but Adele was pretty much born to sing one of these, wasn't she?
posted by HostBryan at 8:28 AM on October 5, 2012

(I saw AVTAK at a very formative time in my life and I love everything about it)

Whoa. Sometimes I question my commitment to Sparkle Motion.


It is IMO the best of the post-classic era theme songs though. (The classic era being the Sean Connery, pre-rock era that ended with Moore and McCartney on Live and Let Die.)
posted by Naberius at 8:29 AM on October 5, 2012

I can't believe we live in a world where Cheryl Crow and Chris Cornell have done Bond songs, but not Portishead.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:31 AM on October 5, 2012 [12 favorites]

Good, right on shedule

In all seriousness, I have been saying "shedule" for 27 years because of Christopher Walken.
posted by Egg Shen at 8:31 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Adele's voice is fabulous but I think the song is meh and doesn't touch Goldfinger or Diamonds are Forever. I wonder if Adele deliberately held back? Oh well, Daniel Craig's doing two more Bond films so she'll have another chance at it.
posted by fuse theorem at 8:37 AM on October 5, 2012

...A View to a Kill ... is usually considered one of the worst in the series.

Christopher Walken fights James Bond with a fire axe on top of the Golden Gate Bridge while tethered to a blimp.

That is the best movie ever.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:39 AM on October 5, 2012 [13 favorites]

I am oddly anxious (as far as one can be for a movie) about Skyfall. The first Bond movie I ever managed to see in a theatre was Casino Royale. I remember going into it thinking "It's a bond movie I won't miss much if I have to leave to use the restroom" and, thusly, I went in without taking a pre-movie leak.

Little did I know that the film would manage to combine Bond tropes with an actual character arc. It's oddly filed in my head next to Casablanca just because it manages to combine glamour, banter, and a slight touch of melancholy so successfully.

I defend Quantum of Solace as a nice coda to Royale but, let's be honest, due to the writer's strike there hasn't been a true Bond flick to feature Craig in almost 7 years.

I am cautiously optimistic.
posted by sendai sleep master at 8:41 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Bond themes aren't usually paragons of uncluttered lyrical narrative anyway,

'You Only Live Twice' has pretty fascinating zen lyrics, I'm a fan.
posted by ovvl at 8:43 AM on October 5, 2012

I can't believe we live in a world where Cheryl Crow and Chris Cornell have done Bond songs, but not Portishead.

..but Portishead made their own version of a Bond film.
posted by ovvl at 8:46 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

> I remember going into it thinking "It's a bond movie I won't miss much if I have to leave to use the restroom" and, thusly, I went in without taking a pre-movie leak.

I enjoyed CR, but you could have popped out during the poker scene, or at least when that dude explains how to play Texas Hold 'Em.

SPOILER: JAMES BOND WINS.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:47 AM on October 5, 2012

Ok, let's talk about A View to a Kill.

It's the late 80s, you're 10ish years old, you have burgeoning interest in computer science fueled by LOGO and your parents old IBM PCjr.

And then someone rents a VHS tape, and finally decrees that "I guess you're old enough" to be allowed to watch a James Bond movie. Even though there's sex and killing and the like. A quick action sequence pulls you in, and then a theme song that sums up everything about the hedonistic decade of your childhood (even though you don't understand that there is anything wrong about "the 80s" yet).

And then James Bond! and Ponies! And a scary/sexy Grace Jones (quite the role model for a prepubscent black girl)! And Christopher Walken CHEWS ALL THE SCENERY (and, because you are 10, you think that that is what villians are supposed to do always). And there's earthquakes, and Silicon Valley (which you are beginning to understand is where all the computers that you love come from). And that woman who is so sexy and so bad and so cool who you totally want to be when you grow up makes a Heroic Sacrifice, and you know, you just know that the hero is broken-hearted at the loss of his one true love (shut up it was the first Bond movie I ever saw) and will never be the same because of his sad longing for her. Also: there is a god damned dirigible.

There is no way that you don't grow up loving that movie, and being sucked into the epic series of which it is but a bright, shining, part. Even when you see it as an adult, all of the good feelings of coming of age and discovery that you associate with it are too strong to be overwhelmed by how objectively awful it is to someone who has by seeing actual good action movies and dramas over the years.

AVTAK changed my life, man. I will defend it with my life (and with a garrote, while hiding in the backseat of the car of anyone who besmirches its name).
posted by sparklemotion at 8:48 AM on October 5, 2012 [26 favorites]

> ..but Portishead made their own version of a Bond film.

And super-cool it was, but that was like an audition. They should have been given the job.

Maybe they were asked and turned it down? I don't know.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:53 AM on October 5, 2012

Christopher Walken fights James Bond with a fire axe on top of the Golden Gate Bridge while tethered to a blimp.

I'm enjoying the implied notion that Christopher Walken plays himself in that movie.
posted by phl at 8:53 AM on October 5, 2012 [11 favorites]

David Arnold didn't help out on Skyfall because of his commitment to the Olympics. Muse gave us the official Olympics song with "Survival" from their latest album The 2nd Law and also their Bond audition tape "Supremacy"

Someone thought it might be worth making a Muse trailer
posted by Molesome at 8:55 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm enjoying the implied notion that Christopher Walken plays himself in that movie.

Implied?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:56 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'd like Elbow to make a Bond theme.

But then I'd like Elbow to make a song for every moment of my life, so... take that for what you will.

I like this song okay, but I was waiting for to unleash her voice. Didn't happen. Disappointed.
posted by papercake at 8:56 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Needed way more horns.
posted by schoolgirl report at 9:07 AM on October 5, 2012

I'm enjoying the implied notion that Christopher Walken plays himself in that movie.

Christopher Walken plays himself in all movies. He also flies.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:10 AM on October 5, 2012

The song is melodically average and very repetitive. Plus it doesn't seem like Adele's vocal cords have truly healed since the restraint in her voice seems at unintentional odds with the bombast of the music.
posted by jeremy b at 9:13 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Christopher Walken fights James Bond with a fire axe on top of the Golden Gate Bridge while tethered to a blimp.

That scene has some of the worst matching between long shots and closer shots. The closer shots (where you can see the actor's faces) are so painfully obviously shot on a set that it's hilarious to watch.
posted by octothorpe at 9:18 AM on October 5, 2012

My boyfriend has been singing this all week to the tune of The Fifth Dimension's Let The Sunshine In. I've listened to the real version now and my brain still defaults to his version.

Lettt the skyfall, lettt the sky fall in the skyyyy fall iiiiiin...
posted by troika at 9:20 AM on October 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

...A View to a Kill ... is usually considered one of the worst in the series.

Not by me. The relevant facts:

1. Christopher Walken as the villain.
2. James Bond gets an assist from an Avenger.
3. Christopher Walken gleefully murdering his own henchmen.
4. Grace Jones, fought and redeemed.
5. Getaway blimp. Getaway blimp.

That is the best movie ever.

It's up there. Of the Moore Bonds, it's slightly behind Man With the Golden Gun.

'One of the worst'. C'mon. It has Walken saying the phrase "reincarnated as a horse". You tell me a better word Christopher Walken can say more Christopher-Walkeny than 'horse'.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:25 AM on October 5, 2012 [5 favorites]

Die Another Day is better than this.

The Die Another Day theme isn't better than anything, expect possibly the movie itself.
posted by spaltavian at 9:27 AM on October 5, 2012

sparklemotion, in the "Director's Series Vol 1" collection of Spike Jonze videos and shorts, there's a great interview in the booklet about how close that shoot came to being a train wreck.

He'd been promised a rig that would allow him to fly Walken around on the thinnest wires, in graceful, balletic, Crouching Tiger-style arcs. What showed up sounds more like an industrial crane, huge clunking machinery capable only of lurching the actor around in crude jerky motions, with metal arms and harness rigging clearly visible in shot. Jonze was almost in tears, and he credits post-production clean up and CG for saving the whole thing from being a debacle.

Can't seem to find the text online, but I'll keep looking.
posted by phl at 9:33 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

A View To Kill... bloody hell, Bond's so old in that I'm surprised that Q doesn't give him a gadget filled zimmer frame.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:49 AM on October 5, 2012

David Attenborough singing a Bond theme would be the most ultimate thing EVAR!
posted by Solomon at 9:51 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

What showed up sounds more like an industrial crane, huge clunking machinery capable only of lurching the actor around in crude jerky motions, with metal arms and harness rigging clearly visible in shot.

So the Weapon of Choice video is his revenge? I admit, I like the idea of a Bond villain doing tap.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:56 AM on October 5, 2012

Bah. I get that sparklemotion's clip must be that very video -- can't watch youtube at work.

The crane movements in that video are rather clunky, but I wonder if balletic arcs would have worked as well. Seems like it served the video.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:03 AM on October 5, 2012

I can't believe we live in a world where Cheryl Crow and Chris Cornell have done Bond songs, but not Portishead.

I think Portishead wanted to do the theme to the Harry Palmer movie that never was.

Once again, Adele kind of underwhelms me. I can hear that she has great potential. The tune itself has almost a classic Shirley Bassey/Bond vibe, but her voice never quite soars with the authority, nor does the number have a hook she can dig in to, making the whole thing seem a little restrained and not as memorable as the better Bond themes.
posted by 2N2222 at 10:17 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

If you can find it, that would be an awesome read, phl.

I do feel like if the crane moves had been smoother/more Crouching Tiger like, it wouldn't have fit the "odd" vibe that was going on in that video. Everything in it just seems a little bit off.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:24 AM on October 5, 2012

I think the song fits perfectly with the sort of melancholy, downtempo feel I've gotten from the trailers (as much as a Bond movie can be downtempo, that is). This feel like Bond against the world moreso than usual and I'm quite looking forward to it.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:30 AM on October 5, 2012

This is my favorite James Bond theme.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:32 AM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
"I want a Quantum of Solace
but no more than a quantum
I know they do big bags of solace
but I don't want 'em."
posted by howfar at 10:38 AM on October 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

(I saw AVTAK at a very formative time in my life and I love everything about it)

C'mon. I like her on That '70s Show, but you have to admit Tanya Roberts = Worst. Bondgirl. Ever.
posted by jonp72 at 10:39 AM on October 5, 2012

Tanya Roberts = Worst. Bondgirl. Ever.

Everyone knows that Grace Jones was the actual Bond Girl in that movie.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:46 AM on October 5, 2012

They really should have used Grace Jones' recording of "Demolition Man" in that Bond film
posted by thelonius at 10:48 AM on October 5, 2012

Semi-previously, includes the backstory on the song in howfar's comment.
posted by troika at 10:54 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I like to pretend I live in a parallel universe where Johnny Cash did the theme to Thunderball
posted by ckape at 10:57 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I am with Sparklemotion on this one: A View to a Kill was awesome. It was way better than Moonraker; and better than all the Pierce Brosnan bond films put together.
posted by Vindaloo at 11:04 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Since Shirley Bassey has been mentioned a few times, can I just share this bit of awesome?
posted by xedrik at 11:06 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

To be honest xedrik, while I love Dame Shirley's willingness to embrace modern music I didn't like Get The Party Started anywhere near as much as History Repeating.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:12 AM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's actually a rewrite of 'Turning Tables', if you are an Adele fan who strums/plays:

The verse chord progression for TT is Cm/Aflat/Fm/Aflat, with a melody in the first 3 scale notes. The chord progression for Skyfall is Cm/Aflat/F7/Aflat, with a melody also in the first 3 scale notes.

The whole song and the 'Bondyness' hinges on the F7 chord that gives you that augmented 5th Bond theme motif. The same chord then varies from major to minor in the chorus for dramatic effect. Strum it on a guitar and you get a perfect Adele/Bond hybrid.

Like a chef that uses every single part of the animal, a great songwriter will get every drop out of a successful set of materials. I am big fan.
posted by colie at 11:14 AM on October 5, 2012 [6 favorites]

PS This "i - flatVI - IV7" progression is packed with tension and Nirvana got a whole song out of it with 'Heart Shaped Box'
posted by colie at 11:22 AM on October 5, 2012

Ha, that is the same progression! It's very cool.
posted by thelonius at 12:30 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I dunno, I found it a little flat. I like Adele (wouldn't wanna be her boyfriend tho ;^) ) but it doesn't have the drive (maybe bombast ) that I like in Bond themes i.e. Chris Cornell screaming "You Know My Name", or k.d. laing's great unused "Tomorrow Never Dies" (renamed "Surrender").

And View To A Kill is awesome in about every measurable dimension. A great artifact of the times, as Bond films should be.
posted by djrock3k at 12:32 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I think They Might Be Giants did a great job going Bond for the unused "Dr. Evil" intro song from Austin Powers II.
posted by JBennett at 12:55 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Any discussion of worst Bond that doesn't start and end with Moonraker is doomed to failure. Bond in space with lasers? Seriously? That's almost as absurd as Bond using a surfboard to infiltrate North Kor... wait, what?!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:24 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah this made me dead excited for the film. Winner
posted by 13twelve at 3:26 PM on October 5, 2012

Apocryphon: "This is my favorite James Bond theme. "

I came in here to post exactly that. The best Bond theme is hands down from a Japanese video game about pacifism.
posted by danny the boy at 3:34 PM on October 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

For me, it's the Timothy Dalton era that just makes me shudder. Not that The Living Daylights and Licence to Kill were bad Bond movies per se, but I hated hated hated Dalton as Bond. And thus, they take the dubious distinction of 'worst Bond films' for me.
posted by Tknophobia at 3:36 PM on October 5, 2012

The lyrics are so... right:

Someday you go through the rain
And someday, you feed on a tree frog
This ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new light!

posted by danny the boy at 3:38 PM on October 5, 2012

I wouldn't entirely characterize Metal Gear Solid as being about pacifism. It's sort of like saying Watchmen is about the nuclear arms race, or that James Bond is about paying British civil servants well.
posted by Apocryphon at 3:43 PM on October 5, 2012

Needed way more horns.

When a 90 second version of the song was put on soundcloud I thought " oh clearly they'll add in some horns later cause it sounds like it needs horns, maybe a mournful brass section or something" but here we are, hornless.
posted by The Whelk at 4:41 PM on October 5, 2012

My first Bond film was Live and Let Die, which I thought was just PHENOMENAL. The bit with the Nawlins funeral was the coolest thing I had ever seen. You couldn't pay me to watch it now. But I will be paying whatever the going rate is to see Craig in Skyfall. There was never a more badass opening to a Bond film than Casino Royale.
posted by Ber at 5:00 PM on October 5, 2012

See and this is my favorite Bond theme.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:09 PM on October 5, 2012

I'd actually go with Dalton, as atrocious as his Bond films were, over Moore. The campiness of Moore's films is just too much. Sure, product of the times. This is someone who is essentially a paid mass-murderer. There isn't a single Bond film without dozens of casualties. Connery's Bond was certainly someone you thought capable of cold-blooded murder. Same, at least, with Dalton. Brosnan's Bond is still someone capable of violence, even if he acts as if it's something distasteful (him being in Tailor of Panama while still being Bond is just odd, and honestly, I'd like to see that Brosnan as Bond).

Craig? Craig is a stone killer. He can wear a nice suit, but you never once get the feeling that he'd rather be attending a soiree (though he's capable of that) than getting his hands horribly, horribly dirty. He has a job to do, and he'll do it in the most efficient way possible. That's the Bond I'd prefer. The Bond from the trailer to Skyfall, who says "Some men are coming to kill us. I'm going to kill them." It reads as such a pointless action hero line, but Craig's delivery, it's a cold statement of fact, and you don't doubt him for a second.

That's good Bond.

Also, Goldfinger. Best Bond song. There really can't be much discussion about that. There should be a Bond Song Laureate, like Poet Laureate. It should be a lifetime position. Bassey should have done every song as long as she live. I look at this as Adele's audition.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:35 PM on October 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Connery's Bond was certainly someone you thought capable of cold-blooded murder.

Established in Dr. No: "You've had your six."
posted by kirkaracha at 7:07 PM on October 5, 2012

A bit of a tangent, but a nice set of Bond photos.
posted by HuronBob at 7:57 PM on October 5, 2012

"I want a Quantum of Solace
but no more than a quantum
I know they do big bags of solace
but I don't want 'em."

I'm disappointed you chose Adam's version. Joe's was objectively better.
posted by Marlinspike at 3:58 AM on October 6, 2012

Ghidorah The fascination with Bond comes from how he must combine two seemingly incompatible acts: being a stone killer, and a smooth socialite. He must be both cold and cool. Let's see how each bond fares on those two scales:

Connery
Coldness: ****
Coolness: *****

Lazenby
Coldness: ***
Coolness: ***

Moore
Coldness: *
Coolness: *****

Dalton
Coldness: ****
Coolness: *

Brosnan
Coldness: **
Coolness: ****

Craig
Coldness: *****
Coolness: ****

So, sure, Moore was utterly unbelievable as an assassin, and Brosnan only barely so, but they both played Bond self-deprecatingly enough to make it at least an enjoyable experience. Dalton, on the other hand, was so devastatingly un-cool that he could have make it work if he had played Bond as a remorseless, psychopathic thug. Which he didn't.

It's a pity, because Dalton has shown elsewhere that he can be a pretty good actor, and he could do a great henchman. But he just IS NOT COOL. Exhibit A: Compare a) Sean Connery with a moustache, and b) Timothy Dalton with a moustache. I rest my case.
posted by Skeptic at 4:04 AM on October 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

I completely agree about Dalton. Had he been an outright killer, the films he was in would have been better appreciated. The redeeming feature about Brosnan is that you could, under all of the artifice, believe that he'd kill you in a second if it furthered his aims. Give me Dalton as a guy who would prefer to kill, rather than finesse a job, and I'll give a brutal, efficient Bond who will, eventually, be 'retired,' but only after he's not immediately useful. A Bond not unlike Jean Reno's cleaner character in La Femme
Nikita.

Craig's Bond works for me because the suaveness and civility seems to be a suit like all the others he wears. Expensively tailored,mod course, and it fits him perfectly, but he wasn't born in it, and he can shed it in a second if he needs to. I actually liked Quantum if only for the expansion on just how damaged Craig's Bond is.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:25 AM on October 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

James Bond's body count illustrated in the style of Dr. No title sequence
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:30 AM on October 8, 2012

That body count thing is actually pretty surprising. I'd never have guessed that the most prolific killer was Brosnan, or that Craig killed so few. Weird.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:46 PM on October 8, 2012

James Bond: Booze, Bonks and Bodies: The various James Bonds Are More Different Than You Think

(Jameses Bond?)
posted by the man of twists and turns at 1:51 AM on October 20, 2012