When the Magic 8 Ball breaks.
October 9, 2012 2:57 PM   Subscribe

 
...so now I'm wondering:

(posts picture of discolored food from fridge)

Can I eat this?
posted by jquinby at 3:03 PM on October 9, 2012 [15 favorites]


"Got a text from that guy and don't know what it means...?? Ask us."

It's like AskMe for cryptic txts from people you'd like to sleep with. It doesn't work for MeFi posts, obvs.
posted by carsonb at 3:04 PM on October 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm a little wary of the bro credentials of their supposed bros.
posted by perhapses at 3:05 PM on October 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is a good thing. It's like AskMe minus gazillions of words. Hyperefficient.
posted by Miko at 3:05 PM on October 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


HeTexted and it felt like a kiss
HeTexted but it didn't hurt
posted by shakespeherian at 3:06 PM on October 9, 2012 [5 favorites]


After reading a few more, it's missing an option: "He's into you but he's immature/trouble, so run anyway."
posted by Miko at 3:07 PM on October 9, 2012 [8 favorites]


Greg Nog it sounds like that guy is only thinking about one thing.
posted by shakespeherian at 3:09 PM on October 9, 2012 [13 favorites]


Every once and a while, I wish texting had been around when I was younger.

Then I see shit like this.

Hyperefficient.

"The worst enemy of life, freedom and the common decencies is total anarchy; their second worst enemy is total efficiency."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:09 PM on October 9, 2012 [6 favorites]


He texted me this...

yo u r like the sun, u shld strip bcz fuck the moon, ur eyes = brighter than stars, wish i were ur glove LOL

....So now I'm wondering?

Should I ask him to change his name for me?

948935789_He's Into You 23_He's Not Into You 567_Verdict Is Still Out
posted by prefpara at 3:10 PM on October 9, 2012 [3 favorites]


I can't even look at that site. I read the first page and now I'm vicariously embarrassed for over a dozen people.

I just know I'm going to find one of my "hi, am drnk and wtchjng dr who,dnt you thik daleks are cooler than the dr?" texts, with the question "wtf is dr who". Interwebs, why do you do this to me.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:11 PM on October 9, 2012 [6 favorites]


I have a feeling that hyperefficiency in this case is a good friend to the clueless lovelorn.
posted by Miko at 3:11 PM on October 9, 2012


I'm a little wary of the bro credentials of their supposed bros.


I knew as soon as bro-credentializing stopped getting federal funding any knuckleheaded brohan would be out there bro-credentializing himself for fun and profit. See what thou hast wrought Rand Paul!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:12 PM on October 9, 2012 [3 favorites]


no DTMFA option?
posted by HuronBob at 3:13 PM on October 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


No "He has a bucket with lotion" option?
posted by arcticseal at 3:15 PM on October 9, 2012 [8 favorites]


I just assume the guy's into me until I get served with a restraining order.
posted by desjardins at 3:19 PM on October 9, 2012 [10 favorites]


Don't they mean the jury is still out?
posted by mannequito at 3:20 PM on October 9, 2012 [3 favorites]


Don't they mean the jury is still out?

If they hear you say this, they will not be into you.
posted by HuronBob at 3:23 PM on October 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


You should point it out to them, mannequito, though if you did, I'm sure that irregardless of their intent they could probably care less.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:24 PM on October 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Got a text from that guy and don't know what it means...??

Jenna Marbles can help decode those texts...
posted by Thorzdad at 3:25 PM on October 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


this is more than a little depressing
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:28 PM on October 9, 2012


I don't actually care enough to point it out to them, but now that I've had the two phrases swirling around in my head for a few minutes I can't figure out if 'verdict still out' is right or wrong.
posted by mannequito at 3:29 PM on October 9, 2012


Proudly built by brogrammers
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 3:31 PM on October 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Bros are like, regular guys, only slightly more seasoned.

WTF does that even mean? Did they sprinkle salt on them?
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:43 PM on October 9, 2012 [3 favorites]


Seasoned salt.
posted by maryr at 3:49 PM on October 9, 2012


Choadsourcing
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:54 PM on October 9, 2012 [8 favorites]


I don't see any ads, so the consumer data provided on login must be the goal.

I suppose the purpose is to serve single ladies cat food ads elsewhere, or something.
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 4:03 PM on October 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was sitting next to their web designer @ my co-working spot in midtown today....
posted by dfriedman at 4:17 PM on October 9, 2012


Should I ask him to change his name for me?

What are you referencing , prefpara?


"Wherefor art thou 'Romeo'? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
posted by Navelgazer at 4:40 PM on October 9, 2012


He texted me this...

Congratulations, Reward Shopper! You have won a $1000 GIFT-CARD in our weekly offer program at www.totallylegitnotascam.com - (Write'REMOVE'to-Cancel)

...So now I'm wondering?

I dont know what to spend my GIFT-CARD on?? Should I get a sexy new outfit to impress him, or buy him a Microsoft Surface for a thank-you gift? And why did tell me I could 'REMOVE' him? Does he have low self-esteem? P.S. do guys like Abercrombie or PINK more????

5127_He's Into You 239_He's Not Into You 88_Verdict Is Still Out
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:48 PM on October 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Navelgazer in one. I thought the glove would be the giveaway.
posted by prefpara at 4:58 PM on October 9, 2012


There's a vein of fringe research (i.e.. not yet peer-reviewed or vetted) that says crowd-sourced information may be quite poor at subjective decision-making, due to anchoring and momentum effects.

Crowd-funding is very good at objective discovery ("wifi router xxxxxx exists in location yyyyyy"), however when it comes to subjective discovery, there's all kinds of issues.

Anchoring + Momentum is seen in a lot of those posts. A lot of that content could go either way, but it goes one way... and then keeps going that way.

It's a similar problem to Yelp and such. eBay doesn't have this problem, because voting is not free. There is a cost (in the form of a transaction) to vote. When there is free voting AND the current results are displayed before an individual votes, anchoring and momentum can be quite pronounced.

That being said, the site overall is rather bland at voting. It seems more like a place to commiserate over the results than actually obtain them.
posted by nickrussell at 5:51 PM on October 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


Some of these seem both very obvious in their meaning and some seem to need far more options than given.

I mean who uses wasabi mustard for foreplay? That would burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn.
posted by wierdo at 12:29 AM on October 10, 2012


Well, this is a little sad, considering their communication habits after 6 months involve her asking the Internet to decipher a brief text message about their relationship.

I've been dating him for the last 6 months, seeing him every other weekend. He's all round the best of guys I've dated. I recently found out im pregnant with his child (he doesn't know). Wtf does he mean I'm 'likeable' ? What does that mean? Help! I might need to get an abortion :(


Surely all sides of the abortion debate can agree on frowny face :(
posted by univac at 12:36 AM on October 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, univac, that one seemed especially sad to me.

Some of these texts had me cringing, for the person posting the texts to the site. It's like there's this sickness, this epidemic of over-sharing playing out right in front of my eyes. There should be a fourth answer option of: Stop posting these texts NOW because you are embarrassing yourself.

For example, in one text exchange, the woman was very upbeat and just gushing (I wanted to scream at her through my screen to go easy on the exclamation points, which she posted after every single text), while the guy was obviously lukewarm at best, and getting increasingly uncomfortable by the exchange.

I can understand not picking up on at in the moment, maybe, but looking back on the texts, why in the world would anyone feel the need to copy them and paste them up there on the internet for the rest of the world to see (and dissect)? Boundaries, have some please.

*sigh*

I'm sounding harsh, I know. Really, I'm saddened by these trends playing out repeatedly with young women and their relationships with men. The texts I'm seeing just reinforce how important it is to instill positive self image in young girls, so that they grow up knowing they deserve respect and don't spend so much time analyzing and agonizing over every little word some guy says (or texts).
posted by misha at 8:59 AM on October 10, 2012


I can recall endlessly parsing brief conversations and 10-second hallway interactions with guys in my high school years. That was bad enough. It looks like the availability of texting has only made it worse - it creates an additional channel of even greater ambiguity - because it lacks tone and body language - than the in-person experience which occasioned conversations like "but did he say hello, like 'hello,' or like 'HelLO!'" I just really feel for people who are trying to understand their nascent relationships, or non-relationships, via text communication.
posted by Miko at 9:19 AM on October 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


For example, in one text exchange, the woman was very upbeat and just gushing (I wanted to scream at her through my screen to go easy on the exclamation points, which she posted after every single text), while the guy was obviously lukewarm at best, and getting increasingly uncomfortable by the exchange.

Clearly it was the guy who posted the exchange, hoping the girl would see the response on this site and get the hint.
posted by straight at 10:27 AM on October 10, 2012


Ugh. Unsubscribe.
posted by eggman at 11:41 AM on October 10, 2012


I think the site has moved far enough into the limelight that it is being trolled quite regularly (though I'm not sure the serious commenters get it yet.) This one made me laugh out loud because I am immature. (Happy National Coming Out Day everyone!)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:19 PM on October 11, 2012


(I'm suddently that it might seem like I'm returning to this site on a daily basis, which is very much not the case. I was looking at my history and saw www.hetexted.com and wandered what this hexing website was I'd been looking at and forgotten.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:23 PM on October 11, 2012


Ah yes, www.hehexed.com.

He Hexed Me This...
background:#004D73
...So Now I'm Wondering?
But did he mean #FFFFFF? Seems more professional.
posted by maryr at 1:39 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


But, oh!, did you mean www.hehexed.org?

He Hexed Me This...
You'll die out in the mountains wrapped in silver furs.
...So Now I'm Wondering?
I told this guy his fortune at my booth and all of a sudden he spits this out! Will I be looking for my lover in the midnight sun or will I perish for my lover when the frost has begun? Please respond quickly, I'm lonely and it's getting cold.
posted by maryr at 1:44 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


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