Comments on: Here's looking at you, kid

Here's looking at you, kid

dirtdirt — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:23:09 -0800

Softball-sized eyeball washes up on Florida beach (SLN) Single Link Nightmare

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:23:55 -0800

I was wondering where I dropped that!

By: item

item — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:25:48 -0800

Linger on your pale blue eye.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:25:55 -0800

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:27:15 -0800

It's all fun and games until someone ~~loses~~ finds an eye. FTFY

By: fight or flight

fight or flight — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:27:18 -0800

Q: What do you call a fish missing an eye? A: A fsh.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:27:27 -0800

Jeepers creepers.

By: chavenet

chavenet — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:28:14 -0800

Mobeye Dick

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:29:20 -0800

Aw, nuts dudes, sorry about that. ORB OF AGAMOTTO, RETURN TO MEEEEE!!!

By: jazon

jazon — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:30:13 -0800

Eye of Cthulhu, perhaps?

By: item

item — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:31:06 -0800

Jeepers creepers where'd you get that peeper?

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:31:27 -0800

Almost certainly a swordfish eye. Those guys can get biiiiiig.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:34:13 -0800

Almost certainly a swordfish eye Tragic kissing accident.

By: chillmost

chillmost — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:35:54 -0800

Somewhere out on the ocean there is a giant pirate with a giant eyepatch.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:38:06 -0800

Came for the cornea jokes. Was not disappointed.

By: Krazor

Krazor — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:38:36 -0800

Oh, don't look in that eye- bluer than blue...

By: Mooski

Mooski — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:39:55 -0800

Agency spokeswoman Carli Segelson says the eyeball likely came from a marine animal, since it was found on a beach.

You don't say?

By: PlusDistance

PlusDistance — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:40:51 -0800

Viral advertising for Paul Ryan?

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:42:33 -0800

As a co-worker just wondered, how did that not get eaten by birds?

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:42:43 -0800

(Big ones.)

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:42:50 -0800

Somewhere out on the ocean there is a giant pirate with a giant eyepatch. Eye, me mateys!

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:43:04 -0800

(Big Bird?)

By: kimota

kimota — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:45:45 -0800

No one knows what it's like to be the bad fish, to be the sad fish, behind blue eye.

By: vitabellosi

vitabellosi — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:46:28 -0800

Eye can't believe it didn't get eaten!

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:47:47 -0800

One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue giant eyeball.

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:54:48 -0800

Agency spokeswoman Carli Segelson says the eyeball likely came from a marine animal, since it was found on a beach. Possible candidates include a giant squid, a whale or some type of large fish. I am not sure that was supposed to be as funny as it came out being.

By: cmyk

cmyk — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:55:47 -0800

But scarabic said that if you flush all the parts individually you're good.

By: mareli

mareli — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:05:00 -0800

Maybe it came from Big Brother.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:08:45 -0800

Came here expecting you all to be kraken terrible jokes and wasn't disappointed.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:10:07 -0800

One eyeball? That's how they distract you.

By: psoas

psoas — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:12:40 -0800

Flagged as AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHH.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:15:58 -0800

That lead-in: "It's not that body parts never wash ashore on Florida beaches. But usually it's not an eye the size of a softball.". ~ soft fade ~ Science lab tipster: We just had a body part wash up on Pompano beach! Florida Media: Ehhh... Science lab tipster: And it's just an eyeball!. Florida Media: Hmm! Science lab tipster: an eye the size of a softball! Florida Media: Yowza! (trilby flies off head, dislodging press pass) Now that's what I call news of weird!

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:16:34 -0800

I think it's more of a nightmare for the thing that's missing an eye.

By: Mr. Bad Example

Mr. Bad Example — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:17:41 -0800

Jokes about an eyeball washing up from the sea? Now that's what I call... *sunglasses* ...aqueous humor. YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

By: Malor

Malor — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:17:48 -0800

That's what a baby beholder looks like.

By: JHarris

JHarris — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:18:37 -0800

I am not sure that was supposed to be as funny as it came out being. Damn you, situation caused by simultaneous existence in same 24 hour period of VP debate thread and favorite limit!

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:25:09 -0800

They put the eyeball on ice so it can be lent to the maternity ward for pranks.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:26:49 -0800

i do not like this post nope

By: Gelatin

Gelatin — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:34:21 -0800

I came to this thread for the Cthulhlu jokes. And I got that. But I got more. A lot more. But hey, enough of my yakkin'...

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:41:16 -0800

That's just Medama Oyaji. To quote the wiki, "He enjoys staying clean, and is often seen bathing in a small bowl. He has a great love for sake."

By: Longtime Listener

Longtime Listener — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:47:19 -0800

The years went by, and little Ralphie grew older. It was time to make his own way in life. He kissed his beloved mother, shook hands with the Old Man, picked up his Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, and headed out to sea...

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:50:56 -0800

Mystery solved. She would have gotten away with it, too, if not for us meddling kids.

By: gurple

gurple — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:52:00 -0800

Neat. 20 years ago or maybe even 10, this would have remained a freakish, unexplained curiosity, unless they could bring in just the right expert to look at the eye anatomy and get lucky by finding similarities to something else. Even then it'd probably be just a really good guess. But in 2012 I can't see any reason why they wouldn't sequence the DNA from that sucker and figure out what it is, or, if it's not something we've sequenced, at least what it's related to. I'd be really depressed to find out that that doesn't get done. I hope we hear about it when it does.

By: Strass

Strass — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:55:40 -0800

Well they could probably figure out what species it's from just based on anatomy. Mammalian eyeballs have different arrangements of photoreceptors and nerve cells than most cephalopods due to convergent evolution.

By: cashman

cashman — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:00:28 -0800

By: Monkey0nCrack

Monkey0nCrack — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:04:15 -0800

Single Link Nightmare is right, do you use Ghostly? "50 Trackers found on this page..."

By: Panjandrum

Panjandrum — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:09:12 -0800

i do not like this post nope It's OK, just relax and treat your self to a softball sized scoop of eyes scream. And try not to think the hundreds of spiders that are all around you at all times.

By: stormpooper

stormpooper — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:16:15 -0800

Maybe it's one of Marty Feldman's? I got my eye on you. *rim shot*

By: purpleclover

purpleclover — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:25:15 -0800

As a co-worker just wondered, how did that not get eaten by birds? Eh, the outside of the eyeball is surprisingly tough. Before I took anatomy (and held a cow's eyeball in my hand) I somehow thought of eyes as being grapelike, squishy. I mean, you always hear about how they're full of liquid. But cow eyes, at least, aren't squishy at all. You know how golf balls feel when you peel off the dimpled plastic outer layer? That's what the white of the eye, the sclera, feels like. (The lens resembles nothing so much as one of those rubbery high-bounce balls.) Anyway, anatomy class: It was awesome.

By: rahnefan

rahnefan — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:26:02 -0800

Can't help but imagine the relentless torment of a mostly-removed eye dangling around as you swim swim swim until finally the dang thing tears free.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:26:54 -0800

But in 2012 I can't see any reason why they wouldn't sequence the DNA from that sucker and figure out what it is, or, if it's not something we've sequenced, at least what it's related to. Or, if they can't figure out any earthly creature known to man that it's even vaguely related to, why not just take the DNA and grow a new one? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

By: Namlit

Namlit — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:32:21 -0800

Just beginning to wrap my mind around the possibilities of bluetooth, and now this. Big Bro-thingy is watching you.

By: Namlit

Namlit — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:36:06 -0800

how did that not get eaten by birds Birds don't like creepy things*. *Our last year's Halloween pumpkin, with big crafty pumpkin teeth, got hacked toothless by a bunch of magpies. They then left, disinterested in the pumpkin. Just didn't want to have to look at those teeth. (true story)

By: herbplarfegan

herbplarfegan — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:37:05 -0800

stupidsexyFlanders: Came for the cornea jokes. Was not disappointed. Well, it don't get much cornea than this. Heh? *** Heh? I mean right?

By: reverend cuttle

reverend cuttle — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:37:47 -0800

this is what happens when you cross the mermafia.

By: herbplarfegan

herbplarfegan — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:39:18 -0800

Metafilter: as funny as it came out being.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:45:43 -0800

Such vitreous humor, this.

By: perhapses

perhapses — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:47:52 -0800

Immediately reminded me of Werckmeister Harmonies.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 09:57:40 -0800

Everyone knows that Endermen drop an eyeball when killed.

By: oulipian

oulipian — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:02:12 -0800

I came here for the Breaking Bad jokes and was disappointed. Walter you all whiting for?

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:05:22 -0800

And try not to think the hundreds of spiders that are all around you at all times. Especially since I opened up my towel yesterday and right before I rubbed it on my face post shower, I saw two spiders just sitting there in my towel, about to be my new facial scrub. So after that, eh, giant eyeballs, whatever. As long as they stay out of my bathroom.

By: FirstMateKate

FirstMateKate — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:08:56 -0800

I think tumblr's got it figured out.

By: Ms. Moonlight

Ms. Moonlight — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:17:54 -0800

Maybe it's an eye from a dragon. You know, one of the ones drawn on those old maps.

By: kinnakeet

kinnakeet — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:25:00 -0800

Gee, nobody else reminded of this guy with his sphincterlike blink? Something about that blue eye... my money is on giant squid.

By: Blue Meanie

Blue Meanie — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:31:58 -0800

Blue-eyed devils? I guess that Elijah Mohammed was right.

By: Room 641-A

Room 641-A — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:48:42 -0800

Eh, the outside of the eyeball is surprisingly tough. Oh god, memories of 7th-grade health class just came flooding back. We had to dissect cow eyes and I just remember stabbing mine over and over, finally puncturing the outside, and eye juice squirting out everywhere. I wish I'd seen the giant eye here first because I would have known not to click the link.

By: anaximander

anaximander — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:01:13 -0800

I love the 'It's most likely from a marine animal, probably a large one' comment. On one hand, someone's being admirably careful about drawing firm conclusions until they've done their research. On the other hand, what else could it be from?

By: phong3d

phong3d — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:04:53 -0800

Wheatley?

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:09:23 -0800

Softballs have it rough. Is there anything that isn't a softball that gets described as the size of a softball in a good way? No. Cysts, bruises, rocks, eyeballs. Certain softballs refuse to play that game. herbplarfegan: Whoosh!

By: skyscraper

skyscraper — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:14:23 -0800

Pretty sure this is just a promo for a new Residents tour. Pepsi Blue(eye).

By: wuwei

wuwei — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:15:42 -0800

Usually I hate newspaper comments, but this one was hilarious: "Somewhere a large sea creature is rockin' a barnacle-encrusted eyepatch and going, "Yarrrrr!"''

By: ShutterBun

ShutterBun — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:19:07 -0800

Dear god...a giant eyeball is one thing but nothing could have prepared me for the photos of a "snout-less dog" in the sidebar! Sweet merciful crap, that is horrifying!

By: ooga_booga

ooga_booga — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:25:18 -0800

Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 12:45:23 -0800

The eyeball is the size of a candlepin bowling ball. Better? Good. Now picture it rolling down a bowling lane, with two more candlepin bowling ball sized eyeballs rolling back up the return towards you.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 13:14:04 -0800

Come on, can't we shift more of the burden to grapefruits? An eye the size of a grapefruit, keeping an eye on me...

By: polymath

polymath — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 13:32:52 -0800

Softballs have it rough. Is there anything that isn't a softball that gets described as the size of a softball in a good way? No. Cysts, bruises, rocks, eyeballs. Someone gets comically easy question? Softball. Nobody ever makes deserts the size of softballs. Come on, can't we shift more of the burden to grapefruits? You know, if the choice is between creating a mental connection between things like tumors and cysts and either a) food or b) an item that gets thrown at people in a game, I'm actually OK with going with softballs.

By: Slarty Bartfast

Slarty Bartfast — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 13:33:17 -0800

Awww. It's a baby Sauron! How cute!

By: subtle-t

subtle-t — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 15:02:14 -0800

I came for the Bataille jokes, and I was disappointed.

By: amyms

amyms — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 19:01:58 -0800

Are they sure it's an eyeball? It looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper to me. Someone should lick it. For science.

By: incster

incster — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 06:57:52 -0800

Finally an answer to the age old question: "Where did is eye go?"

By: schade

schade — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 12:17:36 -0800

Sure, blame it on the little guy and his one good eye!

By: waving

waving — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 18:46:20 -0800

You geyes stole all my jokes.

By: danb

danb — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 14:28:34 -0800

wait wait no no no I got it

By: the man of twists and turns

the man of twists and turns — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 08:26:12 -0800

Giant eyeball mystery solved: Experts say it belonged to swordfsh

By: maryr

maryr — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 12:14:10 -0800

Take that, Jessica Fletcher.