Is One Of The Names In Rodgers' Envelopes 'Duncan Jenkins'?

October 12, 2012 10:35 AM

Duncan Jenkins, Oldham fan and perspiring football journo, is not real. Slam Dunc overcame his fictional status to get thousands of followers on Twitter and even impact the real world by costing Liverpool FC hundreds of thousands of pounds when the made up journo posted some made up inside information that just happened to be true. Jen Chang, Liverpool's Director of Communications, was not happy and upon finding the real person, a Liverpool fan, behind the account, threatened him with revealing his identity which would lead to the destruction of his parents' business and the smearing of his name by the press. Oh, and a lifetime ban from Anfield, Liverpool's home stadium.

With one notable exception, it has not been a good year for Liverpool. They are currently experiencing their worst start to the season in over fifty years. This summer, Liverpool opened its doors this summer for an unprecedented documentary, Being: Liverpool, a move that might have backfired as an introduction to the club (or at the very least, their new manager Brendan Rodgers). The club then proceeded to bungle the close of the transfer window, failing to sign expected target Clint Dempsey despite sending out Andy Carroll, who was signed for £35 million in 2011, on loan to West Ham.

Fabio Borini, the striker whose price rose thanks to Duncan's tweets, was introduced in Being: Liverpool getting his medical exam before signing for the club. As of this week, he is not likely out for the rest of the year due to a broken foot. This leaves Luis Suarez, a player with his own troubled history and who is currently at the center of a debate over diving, as the team's only senior striker.

Liverpool, one of the most successful clubs in English football, now sits at 14th place in the table. Everton, Liverpool's local rivals in blue, currently sit at 4th despite having a budget of 35p and two shiny buttons. West Bromwich Albion, the team former Liverpool assistant manager Steve Clarke took over after being fired by the Reds this summer is in 6th. Swansea City, the team Brendan Rodgers left behind when he came to Liverpool, is in 11th.

posted by robocop is bleeding (21 comments total)

Tough season to be a Liverpool fan... That said, their results thus far have not reflected their quality of play in many of their games, and you have to hope/think that some of that will turn around. I hope.
posted by inigo2 at 10:43 AM on October 12, 2012

Favorited for this "despite having a budget of 35p and two shiny buttons" - Ha!
posted by zeoslap at 10:48 AM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

Here is a shorter video of L. Suarez's dive against Stoke.

I think Brendan Rodgers will be fine. Yeah, it's not a great start but it is very early. I'll start wondering about Liverpool's chances of EPL survival if they are in a relegation scrap after the January transfer window when Rodgers will undoubtedly buy a striker.

Regardless, it does look like Everton might just finish above them as they are looking quite dangerous this year.
posted by josher71 at 11:02 AM on October 12, 2012

Even though its implied, journo = journalist.
posted by Atreides at 11:05 AM on October 12, 2012

Sport is weird.
posted by clvrmnky at 11:15 AM on October 12, 2012

Deliciously contemplates which of John Henry's teams had a worse season.

Can he buy the Pats?
posted by JPD at 11:19 AM on October 12, 2012

Ha Ha Ha Ha just realized its almost two years to the day since the last post.
posted by JPD at 11:21 AM on October 12, 2012

Everton, Liverpool's local rivals in blue, currently sit at 4th despite having a budget of 35p and two shiny buttons.

And someone who is clearly a brilliant manager -- David Moyes. Despite having only 35p and two shiny buttons, he's averaged a finish of 8th in the EPL, one Champions League appearance, three UFEA Cup/Europa League appearances, and the runner up to the 2009 FA Cup, despite having a budget that was tiny, and is now microscopic, compared to the typical lead teams.

There are only four managers with 150 Premier League wins -- Alex Ferguson (Man U since 1986), Arsène Wenger (Arsenal since 1996), Harry Redknapp (Several clubs) and Moyes (Everton, since 2002.) Ferguson and Wenger have played for clubs with vastly higher resources.

So, Moyes clearly knows what he's doing -- which is why he's won Manager of the Year three times, which ties Ferguson and is one ahead of Wenger.

I have to wonder what he could do with a bit more money for players. He's clearly getting and keeping pace with clubs spending vastly more -- the worst finish he's had in the last five seasons is eighth, and the best 5th. Everton is playing just outside the top of the League -- another 10 or so points a year, and they'd be the thick of it -- but with Man City and Tottenham now spending money madly, that's really five big spending clubs he's fighting against, plus the perennial rivalry with Liverpool.

And you want to talk a close rivalry? Goodison Park (Everton) and Anfield (Liverpool) are less than a mile apart, on opposite sides on Stanley Park in Liverpool.
posted by eriko at 11:23 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

Eriko, that's pretty close, but it's nothing compared to Dundee FC and Dundee United, whose stadiums are right next to each other -- maybe a hundred yards from wall to wall.
posted by Fnarf at 11:30 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

After reading the article about football fan gangs in Argentina (was it?) the other day, and now this - I'm just floored. Hooliganism? Death threats, crap in someone's mailbox? Implied public ruin?

What the hell, people? Have never been more glad to be a guy who has zero interest in professional sports.
posted by mrbill at 11:41 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Eriko, while not disputing that Moyes does well with the shoestring budget when it comes to transfers, Everton's wage bill is pretty close to where they usually finish, I think 8th highest in the league or something like that.

And on topic, this is a crazy story - I remember him calling the Sahin and Borini transfers. It was obviously both good and bad for him that his guesses came off.
posted by sauril at 11:48 AM on October 12, 2012

Here is a shorter video of L. Suarez's dive against Stoke.

And here's Suarez getting stomped on without a call in the same game. If he's not going to get something blatant like that called, does he have to try to manufacture his own calls?

And here's Gareth Bale diving at least as bad that same weekend.
posted by inigo2 at 12:07 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm an LFC fan, and have been my whole life. I guess I have 3 things to say -- 1) I cannot imagine what Chang was thinking pulling this nonsense, and I certainly hope it wasn't approved from higher up. 2) The results are not yet there, but I think Rodgers is on the right track and is building properly for the future. 3) I think the approach adopted to Suarez by most LFC fans is "he's a cunt, but at least he's our cunt." I'd be perfectly happy to see the cartoonish aspects of his play eliminated because it is absurd at times. Also, I don't think he's suited to leading the line; he needs to play off of and around a proper poacher.
posted by modernnomad at 12:28 PM on October 12, 2012

Everton's wage bill is pretty close to where they usually finish, I think 8th highest in the league or something like that.

Spending over the last 5 years. Everton clearly wins in terms of pounds spent per point gained over the last five years.

This link has the 2007/2008 total salaries. Everton was 10th in spending, 5th on the table, and about 15M pounds under EPL average that year.

This is a fascinating table that compares teams across all sports in terms of average player pay per year (that is, total salary/num players, converted to pounds.) #3 is Man City, at £4.4M. #4 is Chelsea, at £4.1M. Man U is #11, Arsenal is#16 and Liverpool is #18, at £3.1M. After that we drop all the way down to #41 Aston Villa, £2.4M. #51 is Tottenham at £2.3.

Everton is #108, at £1.4M. In that same range? Fulham, Bolton Wanders, Sunderland, WHU, and Newcastle is just below. How did they do? Order is by standing end of last season, amount is millions of pounds/year/player

Man C: 4.48
Man U: 3.34
Arsenal: 3.19
'Spurs: 2.30
Newcastle: 1.37
Chelsea: 4.18
Everton: 1.43
Liverpool: 3.16
Fulham: 1.46
WB Albion: 1.00
Swansea: N/A, promoted up
Norwich: N/A, promoted up
Sunderland: 1.43
Stoke City: 1.18
Wigan: 1.10
Aston: 2.46
QPR: N/A, promoted up
Bolton: 1.41, relegated
Blackburn: 1.31, relegated
Wolverhampton: .88, relegated

So, one one team that spent less than Everton charted higher -- Newcastle United. Four spent more and placed worse -- Liverpool, Fulham, Sunderland, and Aston Villa, with Bolton spending almost as much and getting relegated.

And Everton consistently has been thus the last five years-- somewhere between 10-15th in terms of salaries, somewhere between 5-8th on the table. Tottenham did well, but only because two big spenders, Liverpool and Chelsea, didn't do well at all. Newcastle United is the one team who out Everton'd Everton here, spending less than Everton and placing higher, but still, Everton is consistently there on the table, and nowhere near there with the money.
posted by eriko at 12:30 PM on October 12, 2012

At least Liverpool is still playing semi-attractive football; it could be worse and you could be supporting Aston Villa.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:31 PM on October 12, 2012

Hrm, now I need to find out where I read that. Thanks for the comeback Eriko.

And I agree with modernnomad. The results haven't been there, but at least you can see progression, unlike under Roy Hodgson.
posted by sauril at 12:56 PM on October 12, 2012

Aston Villa under Paul O'Neil wasn't half bad.
posted by RedShrek at 12:57 PM on October 12, 2012

Eriko, that's pretty close, but it's nothing compared to Dundee FC and Dundee United, whose stadiums are right next to each other -- maybe a hundred yards from wall to wall.

This sort of thing is what the Knowledge has been on about for the last few weeks.
posted by hoyland at 12:58 PM on October 12, 2012

And here's Suarez getting stomped on without a call in the same game. If he's not going to get something blatant like that called, does he have to try to manufacture his own calls?

Suarez tries to manufacture calls whether he's stamped on or not. Huth should have seen a yellow for that, in my opinion. Potter I may be, but I'm not THAT biased.
posted by josher71 at 1:07 PM on October 12, 2012

Liverpool: Snatching defeat from the Jaws of Victory since...forever.

Also, nice pipes!
posted by lalochezia at 2:15 PM on October 12, 2012

Barney Ronay in The Guardian:

In the past two years at least two fake football agent feeds have rather sneeringly revealed themselves to be teenagers having a laugh at the expense of tabloid newspapers, where a number of stories "leaked" by these bedroom pranksters have ended up making the news pages. Fingers have been burned and this kind of thing is unlikely to transmit itself quite so easily again.

And Beyond Twitter's blurted misdirections there are broader successes: most notably the fictional Moldovan 16-year-old Masal Bugduv, a player of rare but also sadly nonexistent genius who managed to find his way into a Times list of the top 50 most promising young players in Europe.
[...]
It is easy to portray Chang as someone who simply didn't get the joke. But, to be fair, Chang's beef is not with a parody, but with a parody that stepped out of the shadows, tooled up with a parody-fuelled following, and started having an alarmingly decent punt at actually uncovering some real-world goings-on. This isn't Masal Bugduv lurking always just out of reach – it's Masal Bugduv suddenly turning up at the club gates doing keep-ups and demanding a trial.

Read the full article here. I also recommend reading the blogpost Barney Ronay linked to in the excerpt above.
posted by Kattullus at 4:58 AM on October 20, 2012