Rand Paul, who fills the role of Enkimdu,
October 12, 2012 1:29 PM   Subscribe

"In the Sumerian religions, once one dies and enters the underworld, one cannot leave without finding another to take their place. Ron Paul leads an ideology that calls for a retrieval of the past. The only way to bring the past and its people back is an immense sacrifice, 350,000,000. Ron Paul’s followers are willing and grateful to be sacrificed, not only because they love him and believe in him, but because they know, that like the sun and wind god Nergal in the Sumerian religion, who entered the underworld and seduced Ereshkigal, he will enter the underworld and bring all of his loyal followers back to life, eternally. " Ron Paul Funeral City (Slightly NSFW, SL-TMBLR).

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posted by codacorolla (26 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
Makes slightly more sense than renting that blimp a few years ago.
posted by hellojed at 1:35 PM on October 12, 2012


When he dies, he'll be buried Chinese Emperor style with 5,000 terracotta blimps.
posted by atrazine at 1:40 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


what
posted by jquinby at 1:44 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey guys I figured it out it's an art.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:47 PM on October 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'm not sure which tumblr I'm more confused by, this one or elizardbits'
posted by ninjew at 1:49 PM on October 12, 2012


WAT?
posted by clvrmnky at 1:55 PM on October 12, 2012


I love the internet. This reminds me a bit of some of the strange, strange message boards one would stumble across in the early '00s.
posted by muddgirl at 2:05 PM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I have had a very long and exhausting week and this is exactly the kind of bizarreness I need.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 2:24 PM on October 12, 2012


i don't know why but that whole thing reminds me of the cremaster cycle.
posted by joeblough at 2:34 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is like the most oblique way of criticizing Ron Paul for being kind of an anti-christ figure, ever. I love it.
posted by dubusadus at 2:38 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah! So this is what J.G. Ballard has been up to since he died.
posted by clockwork at 2:39 PM on October 12, 2012 [9 favorites]


Part of me thinks this has to be the product of a TIME CUBE level free-associating schizophrenic. Another part reckons it's political satire by a bored classics major who's into fashion photography and asofterworld.

Then there's the quiet voice of irrational hope lodged somewhere at the base of my skull that softly whispers

"This is the Half Life 3 announcement teaser."

posted by fifthrider at 2:43 PM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


The Ron Paul city of the dead is where the great pyramid of Ronald Reagan will be built.
"Buried with Reagan will be his finest treasures," Meese said, "including 2,500 MX intercontinental ballistic missiles, 15 Stealth bombers, a golden chalice of jelly beans and his most prized servant, George Bush."

Bush told reporters, "It is my honor and duty to have my sinus passages ceremonially packed with sand before my still-living, pain-racked body is forever locked with my leader's within the Great Reagan's final resting place. Let us all praise Osiris."
posted by ennui.bz at 2:43 PM on October 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


TOYNBEE IDEA
IN MOVIE 2001
RESURRECT DEAD
ON PLANET JUPITER
posted by rikschell at 2:44 PM on October 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


Interview with The Ithacan
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:48 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


...like the sun and wind god Nergal in the Sumerian religion, who entered the underworld and seduced Ereshkigal...

This is a bizarrely and misleadingly simplified description of the relationship between Nergal and Ereshkigal.

Other than that, yeah, OK, carry on, perfectly lucid.
posted by gurple at 2:48 PM on October 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


The longform version is fully AskMe-worthy.
posted by jfuller at 4:18 PM on October 12, 2012


Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ayn Rand R'leyh wagh'nagl fthagen

Wait. You'll see.

posted by sneebler at 5:44 PM on October 12, 2012


No. Um....okay.

Wait, does this involve kool aid?
posted by mule98J at 5:54 PM on October 12, 2012


The longform version is fully AskMe-worthy.

I've always really enjoyed Sumerian poetry/epics. The repetitions and rephrasing have a neat cadence.
posted by curious nu at 6:33 PM on October 12, 2012


This guy REALLY doesn't want any confusion about how "straight" he and his multicultural friends are. It gets better, bro.
posted by Brocktoon at 7:32 PM on October 12, 2012


Hm. As long as the dead are followers of Ron Paul, I really don't have any problems with this.
posted by markkraft at 7:52 PM on October 12, 2012


i like making fun of crazy people but sometimes its just a hipster, which means i get embarrassed :(
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:16 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


From the moment they bring a chair to you,
Do not go to it, do not sit upon it.
When the baker brings you bread, do not go to it, do not eat the bread.
When the butcher brings you meat, do not go to it, do not eat the meat.
When the brewer brings you beer, do not go to it, do not drink the beer.
When they bring you a foot bath, do not go to it, do not wash your feet.
When [Ereshkigal] has been to the bath
And dressed herself in a fine robe,
Allowing you to glimpse her body…
You must not give her a banjo."
posted by hattifattener at 11:55 PM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is some kind of juxtaposition deal ain't it.
posted by Mister_A at 6:14 AM on October 13, 2012


Would Ron Paul, paleolibertarian hardcase, want a giant public works project dedicated to himself?

The Ron Paul city of the dead is where the great pyramid of Ronald Reagan will be built.

You do know that Ron Paul opposed Reagan? He was the Libertarian presidential candidate in 1984.

"Buried with Reagan will be his finest treasures," Meese said, "including 2,500 MX intercontinental ballistic missiles, 15 Stealth bombers, a golden chalice of jelly beans and his most prized servant, George Bush."

You do know that Ron Paul is anti-war and would have opposed ICBMs and Stealth bombers? And that the Bushes probably hate the Pauls?

If you're going to do satire, at least know something about your target. The whole thing seems some drug-induced silliness. This is worse than the Ayn Rand School For Tots gag.
posted by Yakuman at 4:10 PM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


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