howtonotgiveafuck.com

October 16, 2012 5:46 PM

How to not give a fuck
posted by AElfwine Evenstar (91 comments total)

I guess Buddhism.com was already taken.
posted by threeants at 5:49 PM on October 16, 2012 [14 favorites]

The advantages of not giving a fuck.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 5:54 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

If this format gets through to people without the acquired cruft of "woo" or "woo-woo" that Buddhism seems to have in the US I guess that's a good thing.
posted by bleep at 5:55 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

tl;dr
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 5:56 PM on October 16, 2012 [7 favorites]

I didn't realize there were this many ways to rephrase "just man up."
posted by Apropos of Something at 5:57 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Is this the debate thread, then?
posted by odinsdream at 5:57 PM on October 16, 2012 [24 favorites]

Yes, absolutely, I want to be free of all desires. How is that not a desire? Wanting to get stuff like that straightened out is one of the desires I am not free of! (shuffles off to next life as a sea slug.)
posted by jfuller at 5:58 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

Who knew the Green was telling everyone not to give a fuck?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:58 PM on October 16, 2012

I certainly aspire to this brand of not giving a fuck, with widely variable results.
posted by COBRA! at 5:58 PM on October 16, 2012

Having worked with plenty of people who Did Not Give A Fuck, I would suggest that it is not always the most helpful of mindsets.

Or perhaps, it's a great way to be able to live one's personal life, but if your Not Giving A Fuck means you aren't performing your job adequately, you should be fired and allowed to Not Give A Fuck in the context of your own unemployed situation.

(If you Don't Give A Fuck because you truly hate your job or your work situation is untenable or your coworkers are bullies or whatever, then you need to find a way to leave that and find a job where you actually Do Give A Fuck. Not Giving A Fuck at a job which isn't horrible in any way other than it requires you to be there and performs tasks you otherwise might not do on your own only makes it more difficult for others, and Not Giving A Fuck is something you should do in matters where it concerns only you and doesn't make the lives of others more difficult.)
posted by hippybear at 5:59 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]

The four noble truths:

1. Everything is fucked
2. Craving is fucked
3. It is possible to not give a fuck
4. Here is how to not give a fuck
posted by mediated self at 6:00 PM on October 16, 2012 [49 favorites]

As previously noted, if you attempt to not give a fuck, you gave your fucks to not giving fucks.

Hence the true questions are:

What is the correct allocation of fuck?

and:

How do I get my fuck from here to there?
posted by LogicalDash at 6:02 PM on October 16, 2012 [16 favorites]

The fucks are on back order.

*inspired by Rape Fatigue and You: When There’s Just No Anger Left:

What needs to happen before spouting ignorant, anti-woman crap in public is uniformly met with the same sort of derision we now reserve for politicians who appeal to ethnic stereotypes during drunken tirades? How much longer are we all going to have to stay angry, after our mothers spent their lives angry? And is it even working?

Eventually a person gets to the point where they can longer withstand the constant blitzkrieg of bullshit. So, Steve King, Todd Akin, and shouty Twitter conservatives: you win. Rape outrage limit reached. I have given this all of my fucks, and the fucks I have given are still not enough fucks. So many more fucks need to be given, and I have exhausted my fuck supply. The fucks are on backorder. Employees are working overtime to restock my fucks, but in the meantime, please accept this 10% off coupon while we wait for the fucks to arrive via FedEx.

posted by flex at 6:02 PM on October 16, 2012 [29 favorites]

This person and I have very different ideas about what it means to not give a fuck.
posted by hafehd at 6:04 PM on October 16, 2012

Actually I think this person's ideas about not giving a fuck are quite a bit different than many people's.
posted by hafehd at 6:06 PM on October 16, 2012

"the problem-free philosophy"?

Hakuna matata!
posted by subbes at 6:07 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Summary: You're a special snowflake -in a ginormous multiverse in which even your galaxy is an insignificant speck.
posted by NorthernLite at 6:08 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

Fuck all of you, and that website, and its creator.
posted by scratch at 6:12 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yet the question the site actually seems to be about is:

Why can't I, hold all these fucks?
posted by LogicalDash at 6:14 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

* Punish yourself for failing.

* Don’t give a fuck about mistakes.


Hweh?
posted by leotrotsky at 6:15 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

At first glance I would say the author of this seems to give a few too many fucks about not giving a fuck.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 6:18 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Naturally, most great sages who pass into the Realm of Fuckless Fucks continue to act as if they give a fuck to function in society.
posted by Lorin at 6:19 PM on October 16, 2012

I steal your fuck.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:22 PM on October 16, 2012

I wonder what it means that this is one of the few fpp's I immediately clicked to see content, rather than bothering to check the thread for more context.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:35 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

I'm impressed by the platitude-per-word economy.
posted by space_cookie at 6:39 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Then you take the fuck off the wall, and put it down on the floor.

On top of the shit.

In a glass bowl.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 6:40 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Likewise, most if not everything, people take issue with is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

I'm trying my best not to give a fuck about the commas in that sentence.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:40 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

It means that you give a fuck about not giving a fuck more than you give a fuck about how others feel about not giving a fuck.
posted by hippybear at 6:40 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

If attaching desire to a person is wrong I don't want to be right.
posted by Blue Meanie at 6:43 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Knowing when you are right and subsequently being unconcerned with the opinions of others is a tricky skill that this website does not really address.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 6:53 PM on October 16, 2012

I steal your fuck
I fuck your sunshine.
posted by Abiezer at 6:55 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I tried to read that site but I found I just don't give a fuck.
posted by Foosnark at 6:56 PM on October 16, 2012

...just waiting for the microwaves to wash me to the sea.
posted by Damienmce at 6:57 PM on October 16, 2012

Understand fear – Most fear is irrational. Fear is the result of your brain jumping into cyclical thought patterns and then producing neurotransmitters that you perceive as fear.

Whoa. That's just like, crazy.

So, like, not giving a fuck is just my brain jumping into cyclical thought patterns and then producing neurotransmitters that I perceive as not giving a fuck. Then maybe everything I think is really just my brain jumping into....I need to go watch The Matrix.
posted by space_cookie at 7:00 PM on October 16, 2012

I want to be free of all desires. How is that not a desire?

Going meta in Buddhism is one of the big traps to avoid.
posted by DarkForest at 7:01 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

On the contrary, contemplating the desire to be free of all desires strikes me as a koan like any other.
posted by Lorin at 7:07 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Those who say do not fuck,
those who fuck do not say.
posted by moonbiter at 7:16 PM on October 16, 2012

Likewise, most if not everything, people take issue with is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

Like the proper use of commas, for instance.
posted by BrashTech at 7:17 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

On the contrary, contemplating the desire to be free of all desires strikes me as a koan like any other.

Sounds surprisingly similar to the Heart Sutra.
posted by hippybear at 7:18 PM on October 16, 2012

There are a lot of good ideas on this site. Thanks for sharing, A.E.

Obviously the author is taking some poetic license with the phrase "not giving a fuck" and has made a site about how to live life without letting anxieties and worries get in the way. i.e. "just don't give a fuck and live".

I'm all for being an arsehole when it's merited but the weak snarkiness on Metafilter can sometimes make a good person want to gouge out his own eyes in frustration.
posted by beau jackson at 7:32 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

So, you care, about commas? Well, then, just embrace them, and let them go,
posted by ovvl at 7:36 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

No.

I'm sorry. Please see the one true mantra, which is: THIS IS HOW WE LIVE, NO FUCKS TO GIVE.
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 7:42 PM on October 16, 2012

"Punish yourself for failing and reward yourself for success."

Sorry, but this is the essence of giving a fuck.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:44 PM on October 16, 2012 [7 favorites]

"Punish yourself for failing and reward yourself for success."

Sorry, but this is the essence of giving a fuck.

Unless you have someone else doing this for you, in which case you're either a pet being trained or you're in a quality master-sub relationship.
posted by hippybear at 7:46 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

everything matters.
nothing makes sense.
posted by philip-random at 7:49 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

So, you care, about commas?

Who gives the fuck about an oxford comma?
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:51 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the bit about failure seems out of place. It's an odd mix of stuff that rings a bell from Buddhism, self-help books and I dunno, EST?

I don't even mean to snark, I just can't pass up an opportunity to make bad Buddhist jokes. And so when Subhuti asked the Buddha about giving a fuck, the Buddha replied: Subhuti, though we speak of fucks, the Tathagata declares that there are no fucks. Fuck is merely a name.
posted by Lorin at 7:54 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

How to not give a fuck? One could always take a cue from the link in this deleted post from earlier today.
posted by item at 7:55 PM on October 16, 2012

The guy in that illustration is certainly far too high to give a fuck.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:56 PM on October 16, 2012

"Live in the moment. The past is gone and can never be experienced again. The future is an expectation which may never come to fruition. The only moment we can truly experience and enjoy is the present. Most of our fears and sadness come from reliving the past or predicting what may happen in the future; living in the present removes all these negative emotions.
Understand that the ego is an illusion. It is a flaw of the human condition that causes us to overestimate our own value and succumb to fear/greed."

no. the past is not even past...I am a part of my past...my ego is very real...yes, might over value etc but that does not negate the so called ego. I am, ie, my ego knows this.

In general a nice eastern batch of notions but I would not swallow it whole hog
posted by Postroad at 7:59 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Itt a bunch of amateurs. Embrace the fuck.
posted by Shit Parade at 8:14 PM on October 16, 2012

whitepeoplenotgivingfucksincornfields.tumblr.com
posted by threeants at 8:15 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I like how we are encouraged to not care because we are tiny specs in the universe and our actions don't matter. Bull-fuckin'-shit. "Yeah, I've had A LOT to drink, and I probably shouldn't drive, but do you know just how many galaxies there are? And you think *my* actions have consequences? Haha, yeah right. Gimmie my keys". This article has it backwards; it's the height of narcissism to claim that you can just do whatever you want, cuz, hey the universe is big. Yeah, more apathy, just what the world needs. Stupid article is stupid.
posted by MattMangels at 8:28 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Question - Why should I give a fuck about not giving a fuck? Isn't that self-referential failure?

I'd subscribe to the news letter, but, well, fuck it.
posted by Samizdata at 8:36 PM on October 16, 2012

Everyone will come to accept their existence or they won't. There is a physical manifestation of the thing we call reality and actions may alter the local frame of reference. You may take refuge in your equanimity but being able to understand the hierarchy of significance is just the beginning of being. If you don't know what your role is you might seek to understand it. Being too cool for school is a rather immature self assessment. You still must chop wood and carry water.

Before a person studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters
are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains
are no longer mountains and waters are not waters; after enlightenment,
mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.
(Schiller 2)

Mountains and rivers do not change but your understanding of them will.
posted by pdxpogo at 8:52 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I could care less.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:11 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised you didn't save this post for Fucksgiving.
posted by Slinga at 9:13 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

It's a recurring theme that whenever I come upon some article about "not giving a fuck", it's really nonsensical.
posted by Evernix at 9:18 PM on October 16, 2012

Everyone will come to accept their existence or they won't.

Ack. You triggered Sisko voice ("Either the souffle will rise... or it won't. There's not a damn thing you can do about it.") and I had to read the rest of your post that way.

Then I started working my way up.

O'Brien: Why should I give a fuck about not giving a fuck? Isn't that self-referential failure?

Garak: I like how we are encouraged to not care because we are tiny specs in the universe and our actions don't matter.

Quark: whitepeoplenotgivingfucksincornfields.tumblr.com

Odo: Itt a bunch of amateurs.

Dax: no. the past is not even past...I am a part of my past

I... I think it's time for bed.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:20 PM on October 16, 2012 [9 favorites]

If I had a nickel for very fuck I didn't give I'd have a lot of nickels.
If I'd had a fuck for very nickel I don't have I'd be very tired.
posted by islander at 9:31 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm all for being an arsehole when it's merited

So when it's a site full of the same stupid finger wagging admonishments to lift yourself up by the bootstraps and believe, coated in a tired layer of not very well understood "Eastern" philosophy (calling it Buddhism or Taoism or whatever being too much honour), livened up by the still apparantely very shocking use of the word fuck, snark is not merited?
posted by MartinWisse at 10:36 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

The world needs people to give a fuck. They are like the scurrying ant, forever planning ahead. While grasshoppers enjoy the moment. They are like the Morlocks, making the world work while the Eloi cavort. THey make the sausage and the trains run in time.

Here is to people who give a fuck they make it possible for me to chill, eating spicy Thai chips and drinking root beer, smoking cigarettes and getting fatter by the hour because I know one those give a fuck motherfuckers is out there figuring out how to hook me up with a shitload of transplants. Thanks give a fuck dude, you make all this possible.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:19 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

this is it, fuck it, it is what it is
posted by speicus at 11:22 PM on October 16, 2012

Fucks I give? Nun.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:37 PM on October 16, 2012

I guess I am the only one who finds this depressing? The flow can really suck; I don't want to talk myself into not caring. Argh, I suspect I am too earnest sometimes but yeah, this whole tack depresses me.
posted by dame at 12:15 AM on October 17, 2012

From one angle, not giving a fuck is an expression of despair, nihilism, giving up hope. From another angle it is not being constrained by and freeing oneself from a number of paralysing limitations.

The phrase, not giving a fuck, is inadequate in some ways because is expresses what sounds like an unhealthy detachment from caring, being arrogantly and unhealthily disengaged, not stepping up to the plate, not connecting to the world with integrity, empathy and love.

On the other hand it expresses a casting aside small mindedness, seeing the big picture, courageous facing of deep truths.

I don't think as a nutshell expression for life viewpoint it is adequate. However, I love the shedding of any woo woo spiritual cruftiness with the brazen use of an obscenity.

What came to mind immediately, reading the phrase, how not to give a fuck, was thinking about positive and negative liberty.

And I needed to read this today. So thank you AElfwine Evenstar for giving a fuck enough to post this link.
posted by nickyskye at 1:01 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Have a near death experience.... OK, now what?
posted by mattoxic at 1:07 AM on October 17, 2012

“The greatest power one may possess—in any situation—is simply not to care what happens. In fact, it’s the only power, all others being a semblance and mockery of it. But you must also not care about possessing the power itself. So fuck it.”—Thomas Ligotti.
posted by misteraitch at 1:37 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also: become old.
posted by Decani at 2:06 AM on October 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

no really i have a lot of fuck, you can have as much you want, it's free
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:42 AM on October 17, 2012

rubbish.
posted by mary8nne at 2:46 AM on October 17, 2012

Durn Bronzefist: "I... I think it's time for bed."

I'll say, you totally skipped Morn, whose words of wisdom should be the be all and end all on the subject of not giving a fuck.
posted by radwolf76 at 3:35 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ben Folds has something to say about people who don't give a fuck.
posted by headnsouth at 4:10 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

"Accept that you have no control over many things. You don’t control your death or the fact not everyone loves you. You must accept this rather than try and change something that you cannot. With this understanding comes the freedom of acting without being concerned with things outside of your control."
-I try and remember this.... but it's going to be my downfall. Sigh.
posted by Butterflye1010 at 4:30 AM on October 17, 2012

5$, same as in town.
posted by Segundus at 4:30 AM on October 17, 2012

That's all well and good, but when do I become a Level 6 Laser Lotus?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:38 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

How not to give a fuck (esp if you're a complete idiot)

Run for president
posted by stormpooper at 6:27 AM on October 17, 2012

In the advanced course you learn how not to give two fucks.
posted by rtimmel at 6:33 AM on October 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

You will notice that fear gradually resides as you have spent more and more time facing it. The 2^nd and 3^rd time around won’t be nearly be as the 1^st.

Learn the language you are attempting to communicate in. Also learn the accepted uses of superscript and subscript.

Understand that the ego is an illusion. It is a flaw of the human condition that causes us to overestimate our own value...

This one seems to obliterate much of what precedes it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:18 AM on October 17, 2012

I spent most of my life giving a fuck. It's started to wear off as I approach my dotage, however.
posted by spitbull at 9:40 AM on October 17, 2012

I prefer The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck. I find it more personal and relatable.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:50 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

#howtonotgiveaFUCK is a philosophy that recognizes the absurdity of attaching desire to any idea, object, person, etc. We strive to promote...

AND failure. NEXT.
posted by nanojath at 12:00 PM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

yeah, it's paradoxical ...
and I can't help but give a fuck about paradox.
posted by philip-random at 12:16 PM on October 17, 2012

To loosely paraphrase Ivan Stang (I don't have my copy of Book of the SubGenius handy at the moment):

The secret isn't in "not giving a fuck," but in knowing how to give a fuck freely.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:55 PM on October 17, 2012 [5 favorites]

Wow, funny how I was asking myself this same question after getting some flak from my boss which made me feel bad
posted by curious-mind at 4:14 PM on October 17, 2012

If there's two things the world needs more of, it's "giving" and "fucking".
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:32 PM on October 17, 2012

The fuck that can be given is not the true fuck.
posted by Twang at 3:31 AM on October 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Not having any web design experience, I rarely think about it...except when I find something really interesting, and have to basically force myself to read it... because of all the text mushed together, and the endless bullets, and the two side-by-side posts...with all of the text mushed together....

Very cool though. Thanks for sharing.
posted by ImmaculatePizza at 8:20 AM on October 19, 2012

"Fuck it."

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
posted by homunculus at 12:28 PM on October 19, 2012

There you go. Givin' a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.
posted by ChipT at 6:07 AM on October 21, 2012

Wow, funny how I was asking myself this same question after getting some flak from my boss which made me feel bad

That would be the #1 application of this philosophy, imo.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:52 AM on October 22, 2012