Ultimate Drumming Technique
October 16, 2012 7:46 PM   Subscribe

Ultimate Drumming Technique: an instructional video (so very NSFW.)

[via]
posted by griphus (93 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
And yet so true.
posted by unSane at 7:55 PM on October 16, 2012


In case anyone is wondering, it's a dude beating some drums with one hand and beating his meat with the other.
posted by exogenous at 7:56 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


At first I thought I was being trolled, but I stuck with it; pretty damn funny. I confess, though--I was afraid to watch it to completion.
posted by smirkette at 7:56 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


What is this I don't even
posted by Demogorgon at 8:01 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]


I listened to Jordan Jesse Go today, where they talk about the video and Jordan reacts to watching it for the first time. I think folks may be better off listening to the podcast over visiting the website.
posted by Cash4Lead at 8:01 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Metafilter is well on the way to becoming my one-stop website.
posted by Nomyte at 8:02 PM on October 16, 2012 [14 favorites]


post-video, CNN is reporting 37% of respondents say this footage demonstrates an Obama victory
posted by Greg Nog at 8:03 PM on October 16, 2012 [14 favorites]




You'd think it would be hard to drum one handed,

but that guy pulled it off.
posted by entropone at 8:06 PM on October 16, 2012 [31 favorites]


Anyone who's ever watched any online drumming tutorial videos will 100% understand the parodic nature of this video.

I look forward to the lead guitar version, also.
posted by unSane at 8:07 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is not a good thing to do.
posted by timsteil at 8:08 PM on October 16, 2012


Please, no rimshots!
posted by Wet Spot at 8:08 PM on October 16, 2012 [7 favorites]


I was afraid to watch it to completion.

I did. It didn't. I guess I don't get this. For those of you who are penis-enabled, is the trick that this is difficult? Easy? Not something you'd do on camera? Maybe I need to go watch some of the tutorials unSane refers to.
posted by jessamyn at 8:09 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]


Can. Not. Unsee.
posted by Catblack at 8:09 PM on October 16, 2012


Just playing triplets on my open high hat.
posted by vverse23 at 8:09 PM on October 16, 2012


That's some solid stickwork.
posted by cortex at 8:09 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Part of the humor it is that the few times you see full frontal male nudity in media, it is either pornographic or incidental. This is ... neither of those things.
posted by griphus at 8:11 PM on October 16, 2012 [6 favorites]


I'm going to assume the timing (immediately following the 2nd Presidential debate) is the reason for this post.
posted by Dr. Fetish at 8:16 PM on October 16, 2012


Ladies and Gentlemen, Anthony Kiedis has lost a tube sock.
posted by R. Schlock at 8:16 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


So, a story showcasing dirty (but otherwise pretty tame) offices gets deleted, but this guy masturbating while playing drums gets a pass? MetaFilter, you confuse me.
posted by pennig at 8:17 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Pa rum-pum-pum-pump
posted by zippy at 8:18 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


For those of you who are penis-enabled, is the trick that this is difficult? Easy?

Apparently keeping it hard while concentrating on rhythm is difficult.

While drumming too.
posted by carsonb at 8:29 PM on October 16, 2012 [6 favorites]


So, a story showcasing dirty (but otherwise pretty tame) offices gets deleted, but this guy masturbating while playing drums gets a pass? MetaFilter, you confuse me.

Literally dirty point-and-laugh fodder has somewhat less artistic merit than figuratively dirty inclusive comedy, is my feeling.

Now excuse me while I paradiddle.
posted by cortex at 8:29 PM on October 16, 2012 [6 favorites]


Well, I only had to pay attention to half that video.

Now to learn to play the drums...
posted by Samizdata at 8:32 PM on October 16, 2012


I guess I don't get this.

As I understand it, there are basically two jokes:

1. Jerking off is rhythmic, so his dick is like another part of the drumset.

2. Drum solos are masturbatory. Ultimately self indulgent and only satisfying for the person performing them.
posted by 256 at 8:36 PM on October 16, 2012 [7 favorites]


You know what's fucked up? You have totally set me off into another late night Youtube k-hole.
posted by phaedon at 8:37 PM on October 16, 2012


And I want to note here something that may not come through at first glance: he's not just sort of randomly stroking. Note the lack of a snare for most of the video. He's actually playing the snare part on his ol' Vic Firth Jumbo there. Attention to detail. This is a craft.
posted by cortex at 8:37 PM on October 16, 2012 [15 favorites]


Talk about mystery meat.
posted by 1000monkeys at 8:38 PM on October 16, 2012


Is this a joke by Brent Weinbach, or a joke on Brent Weinbach? Either way, not Weinbach even though his name is all over the page.
posted by stbalbach at 8:39 PM on October 16, 2012


I'll be impressed when he can play it through Brianstorm by the Arctic Monkeys.
posted by jaduncan at 8:40 PM on October 16, 2012


So if somebody blows you in the studio, is it called a drummer?
posted by phaedon at 8:41 PM on October 16, 2012


TIMING!
posted by not_on_display at 8:43 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


paraddidle joke
posted by Mikey-San at 8:43 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's the internet I always knew it could be.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:44 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


...But can he play YYZ?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:45 PM on October 16, 2012 [4 favorites]


What, no big finish?
posted by 1000monkeys at 8:47 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


To shave or not to shave. The debate continues.
posted by Damienmce at 8:53 PM on October 16, 2012


Should have been playing "Moby Dick", that would have given him enough time for a big finish.
posted by unliteral at 8:53 PM on October 16, 2012


There are a few jokes going on here.
1. Male nudity, when not in an explicitly pornographic context, is kind of funny. I think it's almost a parody of Goatse and similar sites. It seems like it should be offensive, but it's too silly to be offensive.
2. The idea of masturbating to a beat is also kind of funny.
3. A parody of the crummy production values of instructional videos.
4. A parody of promotional sites for books and albums and the like. It's ostensibly advertising an album, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with that album.

The JJgo segment about it was pretty hilarious.
posted by roll truck roll at 8:54 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


For those of you who are penis-enabled

I thought I was until I watched this video. Thanks, Weinbach.
posted by mullacc at 8:56 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


At least it didn't end with a splash.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:58 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Guys every time he jerks it produces a snare drum sound
posted by silby at 9:03 PM on October 16, 2012


He is not otherwise playing a snare drum
posted by silby at 9:03 PM on October 16, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'll stick to this, thanks.
posted by zarq at 9:04 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'll stick to this, thanks.

That's a far larger prick.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:06 PM on October 16, 2012


Remember Rule 34, people: there is porn of this somewhere.
posted by Nomyte at 9:12 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wait till Harmonix sees this. We haven't had a new peripheral in awhile.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:13 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Guys every time he jerks it produces a snare drum sound

Is that not normal?
posted by zippy at 9:16 PM on October 16, 2012 [14 favorites]


Well I feel better about myself.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:26 PM on October 16, 2012


Wait, why does he keep looking at his junk and sneering?
posted by KathrynT at 9:27 PM on October 16, 2012


MetaFilter: not otherwise playing a snare drum
posted by neroli at 9:29 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


That was a lot funnier than I expected. The facial expressions... And remember...practice!
posted by Xoebe at 9:33 PM on October 16, 2012


I recommend opening the Neo-Tech link below, waiting 2 mississippis, then opening this one.
posted by boo_radley at 9:36 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is that not normal?

My mother thought I'd bought a drum kit on my 13th birthday.
posted by jaduncan at 9:53 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Well that was rather impressive.
posted by Malice at 9:58 PM on October 16, 2012


> Pa rum-pum-pum-pump

Damn. Earliest ever yet triggering of the annual earworm detected.
posted by hank at 10:13 PM on October 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


Ever since I was a tiny boy
I don't want no candy, I don't need no toy
I took a stick and an old coffee can
I bang on that thing 'til I got blisters on my hand
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:22 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Some drummers are such wankers.
posted by chimaera at 10:47 PM on October 16, 2012


i dont get it
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 11:05 PM on October 16, 2012


i dont get it

If you look closely, you'll notice that the man is naked and has his bits in one hand.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:12 PM on October 16, 2012 [6 favorites]


i dont get it

Just get a drum machine then.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:17 PM on October 16, 2012


I think it will be interesting to watch the "Teens React to..." video of this.
posted by maxwelton at 11:36 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wait till Harmonix sees this. We haven't had a new peripheral in awhile.

Well, there's this.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:48 PM on October 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pa rum-pum-pum-pump

"Come, they told me..." But no.
posted by trip and a half at 11:49 PM on October 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ahhh, so that's what Matthew Mcconaughey was up to..
posted by mannequito at 12:19 AM on October 17, 2012


Seems reasonable to me: he wants to be seen as a sex cymbal.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:24 AM on October 17, 2012 [9 favorites]


Wait, why does he keep looking at his junk and sneering?

Because.
posted by zippy at 12:35 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


:( <--- Rick Allen
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:38 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


He's got a decent rig. /Workaholics
posted by bardic at 1:52 AM on October 17, 2012


A wanker on drums. Seriously? And some of you sneer at reddit?

I can't believe this hasn't been deleted.
posted by Decani at 2:03 AM on October 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Metafilter is well on the way to becoming my one-stop website.

I don't understand. This would imply that there are other websites.

I thought all the links here were to other metafilter sites designed and built by the mods for our entertainment.

*Sudden clarity*

So this means that the guy in that drummer video is probably not cortex?
posted by chillmost at 2:06 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Best post I've seen in a while. Although it may be too nuanced for many. I'm serious about that. If anything, it wasn't quite deadpan enough, the joke about "practicing" was elbowed and we didn't quite need that final penile thump. I really wish they'd gone all the way and made it a full-length instructional video.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 2:38 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


But what mic would you use for it?
posted by unSane at 3:47 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


This reminds me of a joke!

How can you tell if there's a drummer at the door?

You look out the peep hole and there's a man masturbating.
posted by orme at 3:51 AM on October 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


But what mic would you use for it?

Most would go with a uni-directional mic, but there are a some that would opt for a bi-directional.
posted by orme at 3:56 AM on October 17, 2012


Needs more cowbell.
posted by Elmore at 4:01 AM on October 17, 2012


And he didn't even blushda!
posted by unSane at 4:44 AM on October 17, 2012


Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It
No One Wants To Be Defeated
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
Just Beat It, Beat It
posted by elpapacito at 4:48 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


To be honest, I thought the NSFW tag was going to be for language.
posted by tommasz at 6:17 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought the "pinky extended" grip really lent his performance a sense of classiness and decorum I haven't found in all the other guy-jerking-off-while-drumming videos I watched today. Bravo, I say. Bravo.
posted by ga$money at 6:54 AM on October 17, 2012


This drumming technique, is it something I'd have to have a penis to understand?
posted by drlith at 6:56 AM on October 17, 2012


But what mic would you use for it?

A Telefunken U-47
posted by zippy at 6:58 AM on October 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


A wanker on drums. Seriously? And some of you sneer at reddit?

I'm 87% sure this guy knows he's being filmed.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:00 AM on October 17, 2012 [10 favorites]


Metafilter: A bunch of guys drumming around holding their dicks.
posted by clvrmnky at 8:35 AM on October 17, 2012


Oh! I forgot to mention the podcast isn't just commentary on the video, but a making-of as well. That part is pretty fascinating as it is both surprisingly difficult and surprisingly easy to get an actor who is both willing and, more importantly, able to do this on camera.
posted by griphus at 8:47 AM on October 17, 2012


The making of podcast was quite good. It takes them a while to get to it though. They talk about having to get a porn magazine because they didn't have a computer to spare, and discuss what the market is for these magazines now.

Also, when the magazine wasn't sufficient, one of the crew loaned the star their iphone.
posted by zippy at 9:03 AM on October 17, 2012


Flam.
posted by RakDaddy at 12:51 PM on October 17, 2012


I don't offend or shock easily. Goatse didn't do it, Tubgirl didn't do it, Penisbird didn't do it.

Somehow, this one shocked me.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:25 PM on October 17, 2012


This must be hilarious if you’re really high, and 15, and you love 80’s bands.
posted by bongo_x at 7:08 PM on October 17, 2012


If you look closely, you'll notice that the man is naked and has his bits in one hand.
oh ok

now i get it
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:26 PM on October 17, 2012


Why did I not read the comments before clicking on the video? Why?!
posted by deborah at 12:57 AM on October 18, 2012


I'm used to NSFW on Metafilter meaning "Not Safe for Pantywaists".
posted by dunkadunc at 3:24 AM on October 18, 2012


Pay for the pizza.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:10 PM on October 18, 2012


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