The right...of segregation is clearly established by the holy scriptures...
October 19, 2012 4:39 PM   Subscribe

 
Well done, but did you find it odd that nobody in the audience behind him reacted at all to the twist?
posted by Blue Meanie at 4:51 PM on October 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


Can I get an Amen, brother?

I am not sure how many times this guy practiced his speech - but his delivery was pitch perfect. The twist was better than 99% of M. Night Shyamalan's movies.
posted by helmutdog at 4:53 PM on October 19, 2012 [21 favorites]


Yes, it appears the audience's reaction was, "Wait… What just happened?"
posted by WaylandSmith at 4:55 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


The woman in the front row behind his shoulder thinks it's funny. The young woman with dark hair also looks like she's thinking about laughing (she wakes up, anyway) but then goes stony-faced again.
posted by howfar at 4:56 PM on October 19, 2012


Good sting. Hope it accomplished something in that council.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:58 PM on October 19, 2012


I think if you're there in that room,and you're on the side that the Rer. Dr. Snyder ultimately comes down on, you kind of expected him to be making exactly that kind of argument he appeared to be making.

At the end, when he makes his swerve, you black out from the G forces.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 4:58 PM on October 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


I liked that quite a bit!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 4:58 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Here are the craziest speeches from the council meeting. Some of the anti-gay rants are absolutely nuts. Apparently gay people want to break into schools, sodomize teenaged boys and will raise vast private armies to destroy the American Family. Phew - that's some to-do list. I better get started.
posted by helmutdog at 5:01 PM on October 19, 2012 [27 favorites]


Well played.
posted by brundlefly at 5:03 PM on October 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Tearing up.
That was totally worth watching.
posted by windykites at 5:04 PM on October 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


The goatee, bald dude's expression is priceless when the pastor first mentions segregation.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:06 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Fuck yeah. That guy's a bad-ass.
posted by Pecinpah at 5:07 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well done. I've got a big smile on right now.
posted by benito.strauss at 5:09 PM on October 19, 2012


Apparently gay people want to break into schools, sodomize teenaged boys and will raise vast private armies to destroy the American Family. Phew - that's some to-do list.

Code red people, code red. It's a very messy leak; apparently Santorum has compromised our efforts again!
posted by jaduncan at 5:10 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


That was pretty great. I don't know if it will change any minds, but it was still pretty great.
posted by rtha at 5:12 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


The first guy that spoke..... wow...... Really? Chickfil-whatever gave protesters free chicken sandwiches and lemonade so they don't hate the gays? Gotcha, ace. My blood-pressure is shooting from the roof as I listen to this hateful little man. We need more pastors like the guy in the post.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:13 PM on October 19, 2012


Ok, he got me. I got done caught.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:22 PM on October 19, 2012


My blood-pressure is shooting from the roof as I listen to this hateful little man

Yeah I had to switch that off after the chicken sandwich thing. My faith in the power of religious people to act in conscience and kindness having been bolstered by the Rev. Dr. Snyder's speech, I couldn't really face having it stamped on by that bag of vomit.
posted by howfar at 5:23 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Apparently gay people want to break into schools, sodomize teenaged boys and will raise vast private armies to destroy the American Family. Phew - that's some to-do list. I better get started.

Shit. My son is gay. I didn't teach him how to do any of those things ?

Have I failed ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 5:29 PM on October 19, 2012 [39 favorites]


As awful as the folks in this video mostly are, the meeting itself is quite civilized, instead of the brawl that happens in mine, over topics a lot less serious.
posted by small_ruminant at 5:31 PM on October 19, 2012


What is in the water in Missouri that breeds this insanity?

I mean seriously. When Bachmann was the one who was getting all the headlines, i just thought it was a one-off issue. But it seems time and time again we get this coming from people in that state (with the exception of a few like the Rev Dr Phil Snyder and some others) where people are not just against issues, but vehemently opposed to the point of threatening violence.

Man, Missouri gets scarier and scarier every day.
posted by lampshade at 5:32 PM on October 19, 2012


Bachmann is not from Missouri.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:33 PM on October 19, 2012 [15 favorites]


Here's all the speeches condensed so you don't have to suffer through 47 minutes of ignorance and hate:

"I believe in a persons right to their own individual lifestyle choices so here is a list of batshitinsane theories from the dark ages that negates everything I said at the beginning of this sentence."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:34 PM on October 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


That was. Wow. Well played. Well played indeed.
posted by ook at 5:44 PM on October 19, 2012


Bachmann is not from Missouri.

Sooo many M states ...
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 5:44 PM on October 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


I think this is the actual bill if interested.

Council Bill No - 2012-226 (1mb - PDF) (springfieldmo.gov)
posted by lampshade at 5:47 PM on October 19, 2012


helmutdog: "Here are the craziest speeches from the council meeting. Some of the anti-gay rants are absolutely nuts. Apparently gay people want to break into schools, sodomize teenaged boys and will raise vast private armies to destroy the American Family. Phew - that's some to-do list. I better get started."

I'm bi, so that means I still get to break into schools and sodomize everyone, right? Wouldn't want any inequality in my surprise sex pool, right?

Besides, if all the cool kids are breaking into schools, I don't want to be left out.
posted by Samizdata at 5:47 PM on October 19, 2012


This is the very definition of well played.
posted by swift at 5:51 PM on October 19, 2012


Yeah this is great and all but I really wish we weren't debating whether it should be illegal to fire someone for being gay.
posted by crackingdes at 5:57 PM on October 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


What is in the water in Missouri that breeds this insanity?

Which insanity? The insanity which led a preacher to take a historical text speaking in favor of racial segregation and use it to make a point in favor of equal rights for another group?

Or did you neglect to watch the video to the end?
posted by hippybear at 6:00 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't have video on this computer. Can someone tell me what happened?
posted by grouse at 6:01 PM on October 19, 2012


grouse: Pastor speaks in testimony about a bill, says he is quoting from another preacher, goes into rant about how all this is anti-Biblical and will lead to the debauchery of the End Times, then comes across the phrase "the right of segrega... excuse me... the right of segregation is clearly established by the holy scriptures" and then apologizes for having the 'wrong notes' with him, says he was reading from a text against racial integration and had substituted gay rights phrases for those talking about racial matters, and ends with saying that he hopes that Missouri will stand on the right side of history in this matter. Walks off to applause.
posted by hippybear at 6:04 PM on October 19, 2012 [11 favorites]


Dear god. This is my town. I know people on that city council. I can't wait to watch this later.
posted by sourwookie at 6:07 PM on October 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


I find it hard to believe that those opposed to gay rights are also opposed to segregation.
posted by ceribus peribus at 6:08 PM on October 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


I have never wanted so deeply to reach into the Youtube and slap someone in the face as while watching the guy at 16:18 in the "craziest speeches" video. The dude before him is awesome though.
posted by threeants at 6:10 PM on October 19, 2012


Here's an article from Springfield's local paper with more information about the meeting.

Calvin Morrow accused the Mayor’s Commission on Human Rights of creating division in the community by proposing the ordinance.

Morrow said the ordinance “would disenfranchise every heterosexual in Springfield,” although speakers on the other side noted the bill protects sexual orientation, whether straight or gay.

Morrow went on to compare the ordinance to the Jim Crow laws of the South and said “as a black man, I’m offended.”


Just like. What. I don't even know what to say.
posted by crackingdes at 6:11 PM on October 19, 2012


I find it hard to believe that those opposed to gay rights are also opposed to segregation.

They know better than to be publicly supportive of segregation, and most of them even think that they are privately opposed to it. There's a weird cognitive dissonance among many conservative evangelicals when it comes to race.
posted by KathrynT at 6:12 PM on October 19, 2012


Back in my pastoring days, I did something similar in a sermon once, making an impassioned case from the Bible against gay rights, except the twist in my version was just carrying on from there to the logical conclusion, which winds up with everyone in jail because no one is following Biblical morality perfectly. The whole thing depended on the very conservative members of my audience being right there with me, supporting me through the long section where I argue against any legal protection for gays, and then have them slowly get thrown into increasing cognitive dissonance I as move on adulterers, anyone who had sex before marriage, anyone who has lusted, gossips, drunkards, gluttons, greedy, anyone who hasn't sold land or possessions to help the poor, on and on.

The only problem was that it worked too well. One of the key conservative opinion leaders at that church, who seemed delighted to be getting an uncharacteristically bold and "truthful" sermon from me started shouting "Amen!" at every opportunity. "There should be no protection for people who willingly choose to follow their perverted desires!" "Amen!" "God's judgment will come down upon us if we continue to allow clearly unbiblical immorality in our land!" "Amen!" "It is time for us to stand up and say no more!" "Amen!"

Now, I was already going waaaaaaay out on a limb just doing this sermon. As in, I'm probably about to be removed from this congregation for this. But when Brother Jones kept yelling Amen I was in a real bind. The stakes just went even higher. I only had two choices: stop early and leave the church with a virulent anti-gay sermon (not really an option, obviously) or make this man look like a fool in front of 300 of his friends and supporters (oh, crap.)

So, on I went:

"No more coddling adulterers and fornicators! "Amen!"
"No more sheltering those who engage in carnal pleasure before marriage!" "Amen!"
"No more allowing people to indulge in gossip under the label of 'prayer requests.'" "Ah-mmmm?"
"No more standing idly by while people buy SUVs and large houses for themselves when there are people homeless and hungry in our city." Icy stare.
"No more allowing people to break the holy commands of God without consequence. And since the Bible says that the greatest commands are to love God and love your neighbor, no mercy for any so-called-Christian who had lashed out in hate at those living around us. Take us away and thrown away the key. Because if we are going to criminalize, demonize and ostracize people who don't live up to the words of Christ, there's not a one of us exempt from that sentence--least of all me. Slap on the cuffs and take me away." Look of utter betrayal and anger.

And that, boys and girls, is how Uncle Pater became an ex-pastor.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:14 PM on October 19, 2012 [359 favorites]


I find it hard to believe that those opposed to gay rights are also opposed to segregation.

Non-white homophobes seem sadly no less common than white homophobes.
posted by howfar at 6:14 PM on October 19, 2012


Also, I would direct anyone growing complacent with the "once the old people die off, everything will magically become awesome" attitude to look at the general age range of speakers in the longer video. Spoiler: it's not all the geriatric set.
posted by threeants at 6:16 PM on October 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Pater Aletheias, that's BEAUTIFUL. Thank you for making a point that so desperately needs to be made.
posted by KathrynT at 6:17 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Is there a Simpsons joke to made somewhere here? Anyway it was an awesome twist; I loved it.
posted by Brocktoon at 6:20 PM on October 19, 2012


I just saw the Crazy Speeches link. I can't wait to see how many of these people I know.
posted by sourwookie at 6:21 PM on October 19, 2012


I grew up there and got my first bachelor's degree there. Proud to be a fellow (former) Springfieldian with the good reverend. Those other guys, not so much.

Little background: Springfield is in the northwest corner of the Ozarks, technically the Midwest but culturally the South. Not too many claims to fame. Brad Pitt's from there, as is cashew chicken, John Gotti died there, and... oh yeah, it's the world headquarters for the Assemblies of God church, a hyper-conservative charismatic denomination. There are three Christian colleges there. The town's 90% white and culturally pretty insulated. There were like six black kids in my graduating class.

It's a nice little city, and it is progressing slowly, but it's got a ways to go.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:23 PM on October 19, 2012


Phil Snider has quite the impressive CV!
posted by threeants at 6:28 PM on October 19, 2012


What a great curveball, even though I've seen the same point made before. Unfortunately, it didn't look like many people were reacting. Hopefully he'll somehow make a difference because he's a good speaker. Well played.
posted by waltzingalong at 6:34 PM on October 19, 2012


Now that the spoiler's been posted, I feel ok saying:
Did anyone else find the lack of visible minorities at this meeting to be an amusing irony?
posted by windykites at 6:35 PM on October 19, 2012


For those curious, the issue has been tabled for a "cool down period."
posted by piedmont at 6:45 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Did anyone else find the lack of visible minorities at this meeting to be an amusing irony?

Not sure. Minorities can be just as hateful as non-minorities. It's not like being a minority suddenly makes you less likely to hate gays.
posted by Malice at 6:46 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


My wife: "I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's a burrrrrrn."
posted by notsnot at 6:49 PM on October 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


Brad Pitt's from there, as is cashew chicken

Once, when reduced to freezer and store-cupboard cookery, I extemporised my own version of this dish, and pistachio turkey was born. It is quite pleasantly toothsome.

I do not have my own emergency version of Brad Pitt.
posted by howfar at 6:54 PM on October 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


I do not have my own emergency version of Brad Pitt.

Well, dammit, start a Kickstarter and let's get these made and distributed nationwide!
posted by hippybear at 7:03 PM on October 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


He may think his little stunt is clever now, but when he dies and doesn't find out there is no God... boy will he not be sorry!
posted by clarknova at 7:17 PM on October 19, 2012 [11 favorites]


I learned about this from somewhere else. Apparently the bill has been tabled and they're forming a committee...
posted by jessamyn at 7:52 PM on October 19, 2012


And that, boys and girls, is how Uncle Pater became an ex-pastor.

Great story. Seriously. But I kind of wish you hadn't quit preaching. People need to hear that kind of stuff.
posted by asnider at 7:56 PM on October 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


Nah, inexact metaphor.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:01 PM on October 19, 2012


Damn, now I want to join a gay paramilitary organization that breaks into schools in the dead of night to like, repair shop equipment or set up a fundraising bake sale or something.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 PM on October 19, 2012 [14 favorites]


Damn, The Whelk, that sounds so much cooler than my Pinko Militia and Hunting Group.
posted by Seamus at 8:22 PM on October 19, 2012


Combine the two, I love venison stew.
posted by The Whelk at 8:23 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I got wrapped up in watching the whole "craziest speeches" compilation. It's really fascinating. Yes, it's full of misguided fear and hate but it's just an interesting slice of life kind of thing. One man is almost moved to tears talking about how this bill will put his children at risk and teach them the wrong things at school (although of course this bill has nothing to do with schools). I find myself with a lot of empathy for him and I feel so sad that he got to this place where he's so full of fear and hatred for gays that it makes him this afraid for his children.

Also, I think the girl in the blue shirt with glasses is snarking subtly throughout the whole thing.

Check out her reaction at about 32:50 in this clip.
posted by sweetkid at 8:45 PM on October 19, 2012


If you're at the 32:50 mark in a video, is it really a clip?
posted by hippybear at 8:54 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


sorry, I guess I used the wrong word. Kind of missing my point though.
posted by sweetkid at 9:00 PM on October 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


Malice, the irony is that there were no visible minorities present at a meeting where a pastor was using the example of segregation, and the assumption that segregation is unacceptable, to illustrate his point about equal rights for the LGBT community. I'm not at all saying that minorities are neccessarily more accepting. I'm saying that an uninformed observer might well have believed that this was a segregated meeting. Which is what I find amusing, given the context.
posted by windykites at 9:09 PM on October 19, 2012


I kept having brief flashbacks to my childhood in various churches. Something about the way he intones "of God" going up on "of" and down on "God" is just... like, do they teach that at Pastor School or something?
posted by Scattercat at 9:11 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Here is the thing... I used to live in that part of the world and can vouch for the conservatism. For many months in 2008 we had the only Obama yard sign in Jasper County, Missouri. People would slow down their cars and lean out the window and say "You are so brave to have that sign!"

However--we have this speech because the super-conservative town of Springfield, Missouri is considering an ordinance that would defend the rights of its gay citizens. A few years ago it woudl have been unthinkable that they would even be discussing it. This is a huge sign of the positive sea changes happening.
posted by LarryC at 10:13 PM on October 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


helmutdog Here are the craziest speeches from the council meeting. Some of the anti-gay rants are absolutely nuts. Apparently gay people want to break into schools, sodomize teenaged boys and will raise vast private armies to destroy the American Family.

You skipped over the best part just before the "breaking into schools" bit, when the guy says "and notice that there's is not a single ed- um... indication that this is a fictional fantasy"
posted by yeolcoatl at 10:20 PM on October 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


That was great. The problem is that it was too smart, too subtle. It is not hard for me to imagine Southern Christian Developmentally Delayed Bigots like speaker number one in the crazy speech round up video to completely miss his point. Hell, I'll bet no one at the Springfield Jesus-Preacher Monday Morning Coffee Klatch thinks he said anything unusual. Obvious people need obvious messages.

ATTENTION SPRINGFIELD CHRISTIANS: WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS UNAMERICAN AND ANTI-CHRISTIAN

/trying to decide between Southern Christian Decelopmentally Delayed Bigots and Springfield Jesus-Preacher Coffee Klatch as my new industrial metal band's name
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:27 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


You skipped over the best part just before the "breaking into schools" bit, when the guy says "and notice that there's is not a single ed- um... indication that this is a fictional fantasy"

Bookmarked for future reference whenever I try to argue something crazy. "You'll note there's not a single indication that what I've said is fictional fantasy."

That is just brilliant. Authoritative. Thoroughly unimpeachable.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:31 PM on October 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Nice.
posted by homunculus at 11:33 PM on October 19, 2012


The goatee, bald dude's expression is priceless when the pastor first mentions segregation.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:06 AM on October 20


Spoiler alert, goddammit.

Why do people do this?
posted by Decani at 12:46 AM on October 20, 2012


Reverend Phil just kills it. A beautiful piece of oratory. And then I spent forty-seven minutes watching the crazy speech one. I hope they all wake up with buttocks for faces. So much hate from such a privileged few.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 12:52 AM on October 20, 2012


"/trying to decide between Southern Christian Decelopmentally Delayed Bigots and Springfield Jesus-Preacher Coffee Klatch as my new industrial metal band's name"

So this first potential band, it is a musical advocacy group organized to help specifically those with developmental disabilities in the typically rural and poor places where human rights for gays are unpopular and social services are particularly scarce? Or are you just using developmental disability as some kind of fucked up cudgel by saying something along the lines of how those bigots are so inhuman/stupid/terrible/violent/insert-stereotype-of-choice that they are like those with developmental disabilities. Because that is not ok.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:58 AM on October 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


Decani: "Spoiler alert, goddammit.

Why do people do this?
"

Because it's expected that people will take the time to watch a less than three minute video before delving into the comment thread about it?
posted by Hargrimm at 2:20 AM on October 20, 2012 [11 favorites]


Something about the way he intones "of God" going up on "of" and down on "God" is just... like, do they teach that at Pastor School or something?

Yes. It's part of the process known as pastorization.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:51 AM on October 20, 2012 [19 favorites]


Yes. It's part of the process known as pastorization.

So that's why my milk has been insisting on making a moving sermon every time I open the fridge!
posted by fight or flight at 3:10 AM on October 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


So this first potential band, it is a musical advocacy group organized to help specifically those with developmental disabilities in the typically rural and poor places where human rights for gays are unpopular and social services are particularly scarce? Or are you just using developmental disability as some kind of fucked up cudgel by saying something along the lines of how those bigots are so inhuman/stupid/terrible/violent/insert-stereotype-of-choice that they are like those with developmental disabilities. Because that is not ok.

The latter I think. A good punk name should offend. Personally, i thing "retarded" is off the table. I don't think "stupid" or "violent" really captures the attitude I see in these videos. It's more like "stunted emotionally and intellectually in a way that is deeply inherent, dangerous, and worthy of pity because it can't be fixed." What's the word for that?

/someone who spends a great deal of time helping people with learning disabilities reach their full potential while full of disdain for people who should know better; also plays guitar in a punk rock band and tries hard to offend people.

Do you want to fight? I think we are on the same team, bro.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 3:19 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


OH FUCK JUST BURN IT ALL DOWN
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 4:02 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think the girl in the blue shirt with glasses is snarking subtly throughout the whole thing.


Yep, she's my hero. Especially when she's all :-/
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:38 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


And when shes all :-0
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:38 AM on October 20, 2012


Sweetkid wrote "Check out her reaction at about 32:50 in this clip."

I think it's pretty obvious that the three people behind the camera are a young lesbian sitting between her mom and her girlf.
posted by Iteki at 7:08 AM on October 20, 2012


I like the hand on the shoulder when the girl in the blue shirt is about to take a run up at some serious retorting of doogie fucking hitler there.

I've felt that hand, it is a good hand.
posted by fullerine at 7:11 AM on October 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Actually, the "obviously" in my own comment is irritating the hell out of me. Let me rephrase to say that the three people behind are obviously allies, possibly with a personal stake in the issue. And I loved the hand too :)
posted by Iteki at 7:21 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: when the girl in the blue shirt is about to take a run up at some serious retorting of doogie fucking hitler there.
posted by The Whelk at 8:08 AM on October 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


"Doogie Hitler" would also make a good punk band name.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:22 AM on October 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


'wellplayed' tag added.
posted by howfar at 11:24 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


As far as spoilers, he does say right at the outset of his speech that he is coming out in support of the ordinance. He's so deadpan and committed to what he's doing with his speech though that it's easy to quickly forget it when he launches into his "God's way" stuff.
posted by sweetkid at 11:55 AM on October 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've seen this done before, but rarely so well.
posted by rmd1023 at 12:02 PM on October 21, 2012


Rev. Phil Snider: About the Springfield City Council Speech
posted by homunculus at 12:31 PM on October 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


thanks homunculus. That's a great article. What an interesting man.
posted by sweetkid at 12:45 PM on October 21, 2012


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