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this is how I wasted my lunch hour
October 21, 2012 12:47 PM   Subscribe

This Is Why I'm Broke: not just jet packs and flying cars - you could locomote in a hot-tub boat, a killer-whale submarine, or a light-up monowheel; exercise on a rock-climbing treadmill; sleep on a convertible futon bunk bed; set the world on fire; or hold a zero-gravity wedding. Only in your dreams? Well, you can still fritter away your money on a flying radio-control shark, a turntable for your wall or for your cat, geeky iPhone cases (cassette tape - han solo in carbonite - ordisguise it as a leather book), a Batman snuggie or a pizza-wheel + fork or a flying fuck. All this and much more collected & curated for browsing, updated daily. Default sort is by popularity: can change to price or newest updates first.

An interview with the site's founder, Adam Freedman.
posted by flex (32 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
To be fair, I really do know someone who would be amused to get a flying fuck for Christmas.

The floating remote-control fish are pretty awesome to me, but I think it would have been nightmare city when I was a kid.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:53 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


To be fair, I really do know someone who would be amused to get a flying fuck for Christmas.

You do realize that in order for this to happen you must give a flying fuck.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:56 PM on October 21, 2012 [11 favorites]


Chocolate Planets: Ever wonder what Uranus tastes like?
posted by chavenet at 12:59 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


This Is Why I'm Broke Own a Lot of Tools

Because I can't help but look at a lot of these and think, "$1,679.00!?!?! I could buy and English wheel and a plasma cutter for $1,679.00 and build my own!"
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:05 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Time on the vomit comet is actually cheaper than I expected.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:08 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or if you're worried that your new motorcycle makes you look too sexy and you need something to offset that.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:23 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Disappointingly, the killer-whale submarine does not so much dive into the depths as it does dip down before breaching the surface like a whale. Leads me to wonder, why aren't personal submarines a major luxury item? If I were rich that would be one of the first things I'd buy.
posted by Think_Long at 1:23 PM on October 21, 2012


It's like SkyMall at home!
posted by adamrice at 1:31 PM on October 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


I may have to get my cats these.
posted by octothorpe at 1:33 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Aka always the top paid link in Reddit.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:34 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I see somebody failed geometry.
posted by drlith at 1:38 PM on October 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


I may have to get my cats these.

That cat is selling drugs.
posted by The Whelk at 1:42 PM on October 21, 2012 [6 favorites]


This Is Why I'm Broke.
posted by charlie don't surf at 2:16 PM on October 21, 2012 [14 favorites]


I love this website.

"Fun fact: so far you've seen 118 products. Now you've only got roughly 900 more products to go before you reach the end of this website. Perhaps you'll find something productive to do after your departure - though it's quite doubtful considering you're even reading this."
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 2:23 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I see somebody failed geometry.

Maybe they meant square as in "square deal"?
posted by cthuljew at 2:32 PM on October 21, 2012


It's square, you just have to look at it from the right angle (heh). What it isn't is a cube.
posted by Maxson at 2:49 PM on October 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


This is why the site founder will soon be one of the richest Amazon affiliates ever.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:03 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Be careful there - this ring is a common street-stand ~$20 ring in Seoul.
posted by nile_red at 4:22 PM on October 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Another wonderful site like this is First World Living, which advertises itself as "First world solutions to first world problems."
posted by Peccable at 4:28 PM on October 21, 2012


It's all junk!
posted by Enki at 4:29 PM on October 21, 2012


I could buy an English wheel and a plasma cutter for $1,679.00 and build my own!

Sweet! Can you make one for me while you're at it, whatever it is?

hell, I had to look up "English wheel" and "plasma cutter", which sounds like something made up for Star Trek.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:02 PM on October 21, 2012


Somewhere, Thorstein Veblen and Karl Marx are taking turns throwing up.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:48 PM on October 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


Ha. So I was looking at this hoverbike; I noticed that the picture shows a guy in a leather jacket and a little motorcycle helmet, and yet the description claims it "can travel over 170 miles per hour at a max altitude of 10,000 feet." I almost spit out my orange juice. Yeah, cruising along at 170 MPH two miles above the ground sounds like a brilliant idea, and the leather jacket and helmet are sure to make the whole thing fantastically safe, right?

Still, it seems like a neat idea. Looking at the actual site, I notice that the hoverbike isn't actually in production yet, although apparently you can order prototypes for $80,000 Australian (which is $82,520 US). So This Is Why I'm Broke was a bit off on the price. But this is pretty awesome, and I would very much like one, even if I guess I could only fly it on my own property probably.
posted by koeselitz at 6:37 PM on October 21, 2012


(video of a scale model in action)
posted by koeselitz at 6:39 PM on October 21, 2012


I may have to get my cats these.
posted by octothorpe at 3:33 PM


That kitten's expression was way too familiar and I think I figured out why.
posted by artychoke at 8:30 PM on October 21, 2012


Easily slice and eat your pizza with this genius pizza slicer fork. This 2-in-1 eating utensil has the functionality of a pizza slicer with the practicality of a regular fork, making it perfect for people who like to eat their pizza with a knife and a fork.
I think that mentioning knives and forks in the copy here was a strategic misstep.
posted by kenko at 8:43 PM on October 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Stuff like this just shows how the megarich are all totally insane... Because why the fuck would you waste all that time lobbying, running for office, shrinking the middle class, and amassing more and more power and wealth when you could be flying in your personal jetpack, zipping around in your Tron lightbike and scooting around in your orca submarine. Whenever. The Hell. You. Want.
posted by Skwirl at 8:51 PM on October 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


That cat is selling drugs.

Yes. It's a tab/E cat.
posted by MuffinMan at 11:50 PM on October 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Be careful there - this ring is a common street-stand ~$20 ring in Seoul.
WOW; want. Can I mail twenty bucks to a MeFite in Korea to send me one? That thing blew my mind. OK, how about twenty-five?
posted by wenestvedt at 6:28 AM on October 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


kenko: " I think that mentioning knives and forks in the copy here was a strategic misstep."

Reminds me of The Knork, which I've always seen marketed at people with special needs or the elderly. It's a fork with one knife edge on the outer tine. Yes. Because what a person with perhaps shaky hands needs is to put a blade in their mouth.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:45 AM on October 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, I made it down to the end without wanting anything. I win.

Cassette Tape iPhone Case ... $1.93

I'd propose that it's the iPhone and service plan that are making you broke, not the case.

That cat is selling drugs.

Yes. It's a tab/E cat.


Looks more like meth or adderall to me. Check those eyes.

This Is Why We Are Broke
posted by mrgrimm at 10:25 AM on October 22, 2012


why the fuck would you waste all that time lobbying, running for office, shrinking the middle class, and amassing more and more power and wealth when you could be flying in your personal jetpack, zipping around in your Tron lightbike and scooting around in your orca submarine. Whenever. The Hell. You. Want.

For pretty much the same reason that Olympic athletes will dope and cheat in an effort to win the gold, rather than simply bask in the knowledge that, having made the Olympic team, they've already won in the sense that they're part of the world's athletic elite and therefore physically superior to all but an infinitesimal percentage of the seven billion humans in existence. Billionaires are competing against other billionaires, and to them (to borrow a phrase from Sir Terry Pratchett) money is just another way of keeping score.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:15 PM on October 22, 2012


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