Comments on: Nine French Toast Squares for Mortal Men Doomed to Die

Nine French Toast Squares for Mortal Men Doomed to Die

ursus_comiter — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 10:58:37 -0800

Denny's will soon be launching a Hobbit inspired menu. Featuring such delights as Bilbo's Berry Smoothie and Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies, second breakfast and elevenses will never be the same! (via boingboing)

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:01:48 -0800

"Fans of the Hobbit knows that hobbits eat two breakfasts, and eat about seven times per day. 'We just felt with the two breakfasts that whole notion of ~~comfort eating and comfort food~~ satirical gluttony' were a fit for Denny's, said Frances Allen, CMO at the restaurant chain."

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:02:58 -0800

I look forward to ordering Pippin and Merry's ALL THE FOOD.

By: Kitteh

Kitteh — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:03:58 -0800

What is this I don't even

By: 2bucksplus

2bucksplus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:04:04 -0800

POH-TA-TOES

By: selfnoise

selfnoise — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:04:06 -0800

I look forward to the next Upheaval when North America is swallowed by the sea.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:05:50 -0800

I look forward to the Wormtongue sandwich.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:06:08 -0800

POTATOES AND SASHIMI

By: zarq

zarq — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:06:35 -0800

Menu items include 11 breakfast, lunch and dinner items such as "Hobbit Hole Breakfast," "Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet," "Gandalf's Gobble Melt" and the "Build Your Own Hobbit Slam," which includes limited-time items such as "Shire Sausage."
Meanwhile Martin Freeman, Elijah Wood, Andy Serkis, Ian McKellen, and Hugo Weaving are all vocally vegetarian.

By: WidgetAlley

WidgetAlley — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:06:40 -0800

Are you actually fucking serious? Really? ... Call a big one, Muad'Dib.

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:06:57 -0800

Actually, now that I think of it, French toast is sort of how I've always imagined lembas would taste. Maybe halfway between French toast and a really good, flaky croissant.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:10:14 -0800

Sounds delicioussssss

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:11:03 -0800

... Call a big one, Muad'Dib. IHOP's competing Dune-inspired menu includes breakfast lunch and dinner items such as "Melange Madness Waffles," "Fremen Fries," "Tlei-lox-u" and "The Floating Fat Ham."

By: The 10th Regiment of Foot

The 10th Regiment of Foot — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:11:10 -0800

Where's the Golem inspired sashimi menu?!?

By: delfin

delfin — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:11:22 -0800

Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies will have to be magnificent. Mick Hucknall's Pink Pancakes really set the bar high.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:12:41 -0800

I and my friends will noisily cram our maws with these delights, and jam stray bits of greasy swill into our jackets and coin-purses "for later."

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:13:43 -0800

flame broiled herb-crusted smaug

By: mhoye

mhoye — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:13:59 -0800

I wouldn't eat first breakfast there, much less second.

By: mosk

mosk — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:16:12 -0800

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:18:21 -0800

Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Dennys hates - Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

By: comealongpole

comealongpole — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:18:49 -0800

Cram at Denny's? Didn't see that coming.

By: RobotVoodooPower

RobotVoodooPower — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:18:58 -0800

No Grand Cram? No Wild Berry Waybread?

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:19:02 -0800

I wouldn't eat first breakfast there, much less second. Denny's has got to be the only greasy spoon that somehow makes a hangover worse.

By: FatherDagon

FatherDagon — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:19:39 -0800

I am looking forward to the painfully long Silmarillion Appetizer and Salad menu, which is sung to you by the waitress after you've completed your meal, and contains many, many obscure dishes that are all but impossible to pronounce. Don't forget the laborious descriptions of the previous eight generations of menus, gone over in length until you decide you're not even hungry anymore because dealing with this isn't worth the meal.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:20:58 -0800

Bet it gives you the Smaugs

By: darksasami

darksasami — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:24:07 -0800

Well sir, if I could make Moons Over My Hammy like that I would call myself a short-order cook. But it was the burning that went to my heart, if you know what I mean.

By: Naberius

Naberius — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:24:53 -0800

You can tell the general "goodness" of a forthcoming movie by which restaurant chain ends up with the fast food tie-in campaign. Denny's is not a promising sign... (The scale may have changed a bit since I came up with it, but in the day, McDonalds was a top drawer movie. Burger King was pretty good. By the time you got down to Arby's or (god help you) Subway, the movie was going to be shit. Denny's was better than those, but not that much better.)

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:25:00 -0800

"Melange Madness Waffles," "Fremen Fries," "Tlei-lox-u" and "The Floating Fat Ham." The Apple Crumb Jabbar - demonstrate your humanity by resisting the urge to eat it all in one sitting. Coffee cake is the mind-killer.

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:25:45 -0800

You can tell the general "goodness" of a forthcoming movie by which restaurant chain ends up with the fast food tie-in campaign. Come in for your I Know Who Killed Me-inspired lunch at Waffle House. I just ate at Waffle House for the first time a few weeks ago and it was genuinely good.

By: El Sabor Asiatico

El Sabor Asiatico — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:26:03 -0800

Something about "There and Back Again" and projectile vomiting.

By: fallingbadgers

fallingbadgers — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:26:35 -0800

"Hobbit Hole Breakfast", "Gandalf's Gobble Melt" and the "Build Your Own Hobbit Slam", which includes limited-time items such as "Shire Sausage". Ok, this is officially the gayest breakfast ever.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:27:05 -0800

Can we just fast forward to where the thread degenerates into Hobbit inspired euphemisms for pooping? Cause "Floating some barrels out of Mirkwood"

By: crackingdes

crackingdes — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:29:09 -0800

is this real life?

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:31:31 -0800

IHOP's competing Dune-inspired menu includes breakfast lunch and dinner items such as "Melange Madness Waffles," "Fremen Fries," "Tlei-lox-u" and "The Floating Fat Ham." Also "Worm-in-the-Hole". I hate how you always have to ask for water.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:32:32 -0800

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" - My colon, later

By: Naberius

Naberius — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:32:38 -0800

On the other hand, MGM did a marketing deal with Howard Johnsons for 2001: A Space Odyssey. Sometimes the rules (and common sense) just go flying out the window.

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:32:48 -0800

And the hostess spits at your feet when you come in.

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:32:55 -0800

online banner ads written in a fiction script Nice copyediting, AdAge.

By: grubi

grubi — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:32:56 -0800

GODDAMMIT goddammit

By: mannequito

mannequito — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:33:27 -0800

Denny's has got to be the only greasy spoon that somehow makes a hangover worse. yes but I hear it's a great place to meet your local black market small arms dealer.

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:37:25 -0800

The Surprisingly Well-Spoken Goblins' (Before They Were Called Orcs) Mutton, Mutton and More Mutton Platter

By: 2bucksplus

2bucksplus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:38:34 -0800

Does this mean I can finally go to Denny's barefoot?

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:40:02 -0800

bareFEET

By: rebent

rebent — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:42:22 -0800

Psh, denny's ain't got nothin on this pizza place in Kalamazoo. Half off drinks and pizza on thrusday nights!

By: rebent

rebent — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:45:36 -0800

oh geeze, it looks like they've sanitized the IP-vio words from the menu. But still, check out their sandwiches!

By: R. Schlock

R. Schlock — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:48:25 -0800

That's right, America. You're all hobbits. You just keep telling yourself that.

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:50:43 -0800

Where's the Golem inspired sashimi menu?!? Raw fish from Denny's is a terrible idea.

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:51:18 -0800

BTW, if I'm not a hobbit, why do I have hair all over my feet, hmm?

By: trunk muffins

trunk muffins — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:51:31 -0800

Anyone know how to say 'type II diabetes' in Sindarin?

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:54:17 -0800

Filthy Marketers! Wicked, tricksy, false! We hates them my precious! No! not Marketers! Yes, precious! They will cheat you, trick you, lie! No! Marketers pay our salaries. Look after us. They wouldn't hurt us! They are false, precious! They do not care if we work late! We shows them datas, and secret trickses for Excel, but they say we are 'difficult to work with' my precious! Gollum! Gollum! No precious! Marketers help us. Gave us a job when no-one else would. Sneaky Marketers! Once they take hold of us, they never let go! ...precious...

By: gagglezoomer

gagglezoomer — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:54:23 -0800

Gross!!!

By: eriko

eriko — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 11:55:54 -0800

Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies will have to be magnificent. RADAGAST THE RED? Sigh.

By: JoanArkham

JoanArkham — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:01:21 -0800

Denny's has got to be the only greasy spoon that somehow makes a hangover worse. Back when Mr. Arkham and I were just friends, we'd all go out in a group, get drunk, then go to Denny's nearly every week. And nearly every week, he'd go out in the parking lot and vomit afterward. He swears it prevented hangovers. And yes, I eventually married him anyway. And we have switched to better booze and food.

By: ursus_comiter

ursus_comiter — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:04:17 -0800

I don't think Bilbo's Pizza can compare to the Hobbit Inn in Ólafsvík, Iceland. I've eaten there and can vouch for their pizza.

By: Bwithh

Bwithh — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:06:33 -0800

nothing is true, everything is permitted

By: Bwithh

Bwithh — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:08:16 -0800

does Gandalf "gobble' in the book? what does he gobble. + are any of these dishes presented as incorporating Hobbit meat?

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:12:41 -0800

I myself am a big fan of Bilbo Baggins in Alexandria, VA. (It's way, way more real decent restraunt/microbrewery and less of a theme place.)

By: jedicus

jedicus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:23:19 -0800

Contrast this with the Alamo Drafthouse and its annual Lord of the Rings trilogy menu. That was the inspiration for our own go at a full set of Hobbit meals to accompany the extended editions of all three movies: First Breakfast: poached eggs with hollandaise, bacon, grilled mushrooms Second Breakfast: strawberries with whipped cream and honey Elevenses: homemade bangers with grilled tomato, aged English cheddar, beets Luncheon: shooter's sandwiches (oft discussed on MeFi), green salad Afternoon Tea: cucumber sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, Beorning honey cakes* Dinner: smoked duck breast with cumberland sauce, maple butternut squash and carrot purée Supper: leek and potato soup, apple pie Dessert: Lembas bread** * Shortbread drizzled with honey and topped with a bit of grey salt (recipe) ** Lightly sweetened lemon scones wrapped in banana leaves It works out that if you start First Breakfast with the first movie, then you can basically serve courses at each disc change, plus a longer break between TTT and ROTK to accomodate afternoon tea and a leg-stretching walk. This lets you keep a good pace without overly interrupting the movies. The only two courses that require significant cooking before serving are First Breakfast (made before you start) and Elevenses (made during the break in between Fellowship and TTT). Everything else can be made ahead of time and either served cold (e.g. the duck breast) or gently reheated in the oven (e.g. the squash & carrot purée).

By: absolutelynot

absolutelynot — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:26:29 -0800

By: Gelatin

Gelatin — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:27:29 -0800

Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies Shouldn't they be brown? (on preview, eriko has it too.)

By: ian1977

ian1977 — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:30:51 -0800

Down, down to gobblin' town!

By: sevenyearlurk

sevenyearlurk — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:31:49 -0800

Menu items include 11 breakfast, lunch and dinner items such as "Hobbit Hole Breakfast," Do I get to choose the Hobbit?

By: delfin

delfin — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:38:18 -0800

Or at least the hole?

By: Ber

Ber — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:38:54 -0800

It burns us, it BURNS us!

By: en forme de poire

en forme de poire — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:39:19 -0800

they are clearly going after that post-LARP dollar

By: Chrysostom

Chrysostom — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:43:10 -0800

trunk muffins: "Anyone know how to say 'type II diabetes' in Sindarin?" Standard medical terminology uses Quenya.

By: ersatz

ersatz — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:44:27 -0800

POH-TA-TOES Taters. And don't ask what's taters, precious.

By: ursus_comiter

ursus_comiter — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:54:54 -0800

Hobbitcore taters.

By: Metro Gnome

Metro Gnome — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:06:06 -0800

What's really disturbing is the product placement going the other way. Seeing that bit in the trailer where Gimli orders a Grand Slam Breakfast and Fili's Moons Over My Hammy at Bag End sure left an odd taste.

By: brilliantmistake

brilliantmistake — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:24:55 -0800

The Hungry Hobbit , a small cafe in Birmingham near Tolkien's childhood home, has had years of bullying threats from lawyers over changing its branding. Now they do an excellent Second Breakfast.

By: jim in austin

jim in austin — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:32:12 -0800

Orc Chops...

By: dnash

dnash — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:32:48 -0800

"Hobbit Hole Breakfast," "Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet," "Gandalf's Gobble Melt" and the "Build Your Own Hobbit Slam," This is why Christopher Tolkien has become a bitter old man, who despises the movies, and in this instance I can't say I blame him. That Alamo Drafthouse menu, on the other hand... I Want To Go To There.

By: BigHeartedGuy

BigHeartedGuy — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:57:03 -0800

That I'm glad that the films have connected (and will continue to connect) so many people to Tolkien's work who might have otherwise missed it, does not make me hate this any less. Now if only the sun would come up and turn all these corporate trolls to stone...

By: JHarris

JHarris — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:09:15 -0800

As was written in the Pepsi Blue Book of Westmarch.

By: Kitteh

Kitteh — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:23:59 -0800

The Hobbit pub in Southampton, UK has been naming their drinks after Tolkein characters for years now. This is all, of course, without the permission of the various copyright holders which I hear has got them into some trouble before. Heh, I know people that used to tend bar there! And also go there to try and pull. (Not the same people.)

By: jadepearl

jadepearl — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:30:33 -0800

Denny's delved too greedily and deep. You know what they woke in the darkness...

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:03:30 -0800

euphemisms for pooping Fighting a Balrog Seeking Council with Radagast the Brown Sounding the Horn of Gondor Befouling the pool of Henneth Annun The Fall of Numenor Unearthing Durin's Bane Spawning the Uruk-Hai Summoning the Rohirrim Wielding the Secret Fire Turning Slinker into Stinker PS - Sorry for the one man derail but my friends and I have been texting back and forth for the past hour and I can't not share them. PPS - In all honesty this exercise has moved today from the "Unproductive" to the "Productive" mental category as far as I am concerned.

By: wormwood23

wormwood23 — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:07:43 -0800

Somehow, this reminds me of Cookie Monster's Polish Imperial Keilbasa.

By: rebent

rebent — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:09:12 -0800

ursus_comiter: "I don't think Bilbo's Pizza can compare to the Hobbit Inn in Ólafsvík, Iceland. I've eaten there and can vouch for their pizza." half off drinks and pizza thursday nights tho! microbrews!

By: scblackman

scblackman — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:39:04 -0800

Oh, sure .... they'll seat and serve Hobbits. But others gotta still wait ...

By: Capricorn13

Capricorn13 — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:52:33 -0800

I wouldn't eat first breakfast there, much less second. Perhaps if you had some Longbottom Leaf or Old Tobey you could work up the appetite ;)

By: homunculus

homunculus — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 16:53:58 -0800

The Hobbit pub in Southampton, UK has been naming their drinks after Tolkein characters for years now. This is all, of course, without the permission of the various copyright holders which I hear has got them into some trouble before. Fortunately for them they have some mighty defenders.

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 16:55:56 -0800

NINE RINGS FOR DIPPING

By: RampantFerret

RampantFerret — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 17:15:52 -0800

Nevermind, already mentioned

By: RampantFerret

RampantFerret — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 17:24:43 -0800

Bilbo's Pizza in Kalamazoo MI is awesome. The pizza is delicious, they brew their own beer on site. When I used to go to WMU, we would always eat there after fencing practice. Their original location was all done up like a hobbit hole, with wood benches and hand painted murals of dragons and ogres on the walls. Alas, the original location was shut down a few years ago( the complex it was in changed ownership), the current locations still have awesome pizza and beer, but are more family dining oriented. Seriously. The best pizza ever. I reccomend the deep dish whole wheat crust and a side of dill sauce.

By: AElfwine Evenstar

AElfwine Evenstar — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 17:48:28 -0800

I see Peter Jackson has abandoned reason for madness.

By: not that girl

not that girl — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 18:55:57 -0800

There used to be a Bilbo's in East Lansing, too. Murals, wood benches with knots visible, etc. We used to eat there, but so long ago I can't remember if the food was any good.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 21:43:29 -0800

My boyfriend would like to point out his astonishment that no one has yet posted: "Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" as the proper euphemism for pooping. You're welcome.

By: en forme de poire

en forme de poire — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:24:15 -0800

after denny's my poops are more like the fires of mt doom you're welcome

By: FatherDagon

FatherDagon — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 23:00:23 -0800

does Gandalf "gobble' in the book? what does he gobble. NSF anyone, anywhere, except playing loudly at a party because hahahahahaha

By: Ranucci

Ranucci — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 23:00:26 -0800

As a former Houstonian, I have to share my love for The Hobbit Cafe.

By: tape_

tape_ — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:56:57 -0800

The Hobbit Sponsored By Denny's, or To The Toilet and Back Again

By: IAmBroom

IAmBroom — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:37:22 -0800

So, this differs from regular movie-tie-in toys because ... the food has movie-tie-in names, too?

Kabanos: IHOP's competing Dune-inspired menu ... I hate how you always have to ask for water.

Thank god someone covered that one; I thought we were slipping. Bless you, Kabanos.

By: Pallas Athena

Pallas Athena — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 16:38:46 -0800

Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies Shouldn't they be brown? Radagast The Brownies