In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, There is Only Billy

November 1, 2012 11:14 AM

October 31st gave us possibly the most unexpected Family Circus of all time. Not a photoshop, this is what appears in newspapers. And in case you're wondering, Jeff Keane did his homework.
posted by Legomancer (91 comments total)

What the what?!
posted by brundlefly at 11:17 AM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

Buhwha?
posted by kafziel at 11:18 AM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

FAMILY CIRCUS REBOOT HELLS YEAH

LETS GET DARK AND GRITTY, BILLY
posted by ook at 11:18 AM on November 1, 2012 [51 favorites]

Dig the title for this post, but I would have gone with "In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, There is Only Not Me".
posted by brundlefly at 11:19 AM on November 1, 2012 [43 favorites]

I saw a screenshot of the comic on MLKSHK and assumed it was a joke image someone made up. Amazing it was real.
posted by mathowie at 11:20 AM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

DASHED LINES! DASHED LINES FOR THE DASHED LINE GOD!

or something
posted by jquinby at 11:21 AM on November 1, 2012 [20 favorites]

Not to be outdone, today's Lockhorns strip features Loretta brutally dismembering Leroy with a chainsword.
posted by griphus at 11:21 AM on November 1, 2012 [23 favorites]

I see your little, petrified skull . . . labeled and resting on a shelf somewhere.
posted by not_on_display at 11:22 AM on November 1, 2012 [21 favorites]

And in case you're wondering, Jeff Keane did his homework.

Pff. Clearly he just played Dawn of War.
posted by Artw at 11:22 AM on November 1, 2012

EXTERMINATUS!
posted by adipocere at 11:22 AM on November 1, 2012

Holy crap, that was real?

Maybe Keane was reading DFS all along....
posted by gurple at 11:23 AM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

I see your little, petrified skull . . . labeled and resting on a shelf somewhere.

My Google-fu is completely failing me at the moment but: "Oh, brother!... Not hamsters again"
posted by griphus at 11:24 AM on November 1, 2012 [12 favorites]

OH GOD! I CAN SEE FOREVER...
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:29 AM on November 1, 2012 [5 favorites]

Ridiculous. We all know that canonically Billy was Iron Man this year. It's like Keane isn't even paying attention to the continuity.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:30 AM on November 1, 2012 [11 favorites]

Nietzsche Family Circus
posted by goethean at 11:30 AM on November 1, 2012 [5 favorites]

I feel confident that, somehow, Bill Amend from Foxtrot is responsible.
posted by Several Unnamed Sources at 11:32 AM on November 1, 2012 [17 favorites]

Games Workshop is making some strange choices for its product placement dollars.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 11:33 AM on November 1, 2012 [17 favorites]

It's like Keane isn't even paying attention to the continuity.

Actually, that's just one of the numerous continuity glitches stemming from Marmaduke chewing on the universe.
posted by griphus at 11:34 AM on November 1, 2012 [10 favorites]

One chuckle in fifty-two years. Heckuva job, Keane.
posted by DWRoelands at 11:34 AM on November 1, 2012 [32 favorites]

How did Fruhlinger miss this?
posted by steambadger at 11:34 AM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

We all know that canonically Billy was Iron Man this year.

Wait, I thought he was supposed to be Katniss Everdeen?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:36 AM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Anyone else feel like adjusting their monitor on the Lexicanum wiki? I kept looking for an popup to click so that the background would ungray.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:37 AM on November 1, 2012 [27 favorites]

Ridiculous. We all know that canonically Billy was Iron Man this year. It's like Keane isn't even paying attention to the continuity.

Clearly he and his mom compromised on something you can buy at the store.
posted by kafziel at 11:37 AM on November 1, 2012 [3 favorites]

If you're referring to the bow, that's obviously from Brave.
posted by maryr at 11:38 AM on November 1, 2012

I can't decide if this is wrong for all the right reasons, or right for all the wrong reasons.
posted by tommasz at 11:40 AM on November 1, 2012 [3 favorites]

If you're referring to the bow, that's obviously from Brave.

Ah, yes, of course, well, that and the wig.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:42 AM on November 1, 2012

This is awesome.
posted by rmd1023 at 11:45 AM on November 1, 2012

Jeff Keane did his homework.

Too bad Warhammer (whatever that is) didn't do their homework.

Everybody knows that the real Tarkus is an oversided half-machine / half-armoredillo that, rumbles along in 10/4 time, fought the Manticore, and later morphed into Aquatarkus, Lord of the Undersea.

The weaver in the web that he made.
 
posted by Herodios at 11:46 AM on November 1, 2012 [30 favorites]

Milk for the Khorn flakes!
posted by Ad hominem at 11:46 AM on November 1, 2012 [15 favorites]

Will the countless souls of those killed by Sgt. Billy hang out with the ever-present ghost of granddad?
posted by munchingzombie at 11:47 AM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

However well-intentioned Billy's costume choice may have been, his often meandering trails throughout the neighborhood pretty much set him as the perfect double for Typhus the Traveller, Herald of Nurgle and host of the Destroyer Hive...unless of course, his other brother Jeffy (not pictured) called it first.

And though a clown mask is shown in the panel, Zippy the Pinhead's mu-mu is also featured. Coincidence? Yow!
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:49 AM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Too bad Warhammer (whatever that is) didn't do their homework.

The only thing separating a devoted 40K player from a devoted 40K player with a massive prog rock library is the passage of time.
posted by griphus at 11:50 AM on November 1, 2012 [25 favorites]

gurple: "Holy crap, that was real?

Maybe Keane was reading DFS all along...."

poop holds the tent wher it is
posted by Chrysostom at 11:50 AM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Chrysostom: "poop holds the tent wher it is"

Did I remember the C4? Do I look like an amateur?
posted by boo_radley at 11:52 AM on November 1, 2012

Finally, a Family Cirus strip with a soundtrack.

Clear the battlefield and let me see
All the profit from our victory.
You talk of freedom, starving children fall.
Are you deaf when you hear the season's call?
Were you there to watch the earth be scorched?
Did you stand beside the spectral torch?
Know the leaves of sorrow turned their face,
Scattered on the ashes of disgrace.
Every blade is sharp; the arrows fly
We're the victims of your armies lie,
Where the blades of grass and arrows rain
Then there will be no sorrow,
Be no pain.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:54 AM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Too bad Warhammer (whatever that is) didn't do their homework.

Everybody knows that the real Tarkus is an oversided half-machine / half-armoredillo that, rumbles along in 10/4 time, fought the Manticore, and later morphed into Aquatarkus, Lord of the Undersea.


"Who stole their name from ELP?"

"Not Me!"
posted by TedW at 11:54 AM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

Smart Dalek: " the perfect double for Typhus the Traveller,"

Just when I thought WH40K couldn't get any sillier, I see Space Marine armore with a hair-hole.
posted by boo_radley at 11:56 AM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

munchingzombie: "Will the countless souls of those killed by Sgt. Billy hang out with the ever-present ghost of granddad?"

Grandad's not dead. His shattered, decaying body can no longer support life, and it is kept intact only by the cybernetic mechanisms of the Golden Throne and a potent mind itself sustained by the daily sacrifice of thousands of lives.. So in effect, yes, they are sacrificed to him.
posted by mkb at 11:56 AM on November 1, 2012 [13 favorites]

The only thing separating a devoted 40K player from a devoted 40K player with a massive prog rock library is the passage of time.

I'm sure if I knew what 40k was, I would agree.

"Who stole their name from ELP?"

"Not Me!"

"Ida Know!"












I should NOT know that!!!!
 
posted by Herodios at 12:08 PM on November 1, 2012

It's good to see Keene fils exploring the limits of the form.
posted by thelonius at 12:08 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Link is farked..
posted by eas98 at 12:10 PM on November 1, 2012

That Warhammer wiki is so grim & frostbitten that I need to highlight text to read anything on it
posted by theodolite at 12:10 PM on November 1, 2012

When do we get one of Jeffy yelling "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"?
posted by Gelatin at 12:11 PM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Just when I thought WH40K couldn't get any sillier, I see Space Marine armore with a hair-hole.

Which is especially ridiculous considering that:

1) He's wearing larger-than-standard powered armour (I can't recall the proper name, from my brief stint at a WH40K player); and

2) The hair-hole isn't on his head; that's a lot of back hair!
posted by asnider at 12:16 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Tarkus would have made for an even better costume, albeit logistically impractical.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:17 PM on November 1, 2012

That's uncanny.
posted by codacorolla at 12:21 PM on November 1, 2012

SCHMALTZ FOR THE SCHMALTZ GOD!

and

JEFFY'S IS THE BIGGEST AND THE STRONGEST!
posted by BeeDo at 12:21 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Misshapen children's skulls for the Misshapen Children's Skull Throne!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:22 PM on November 1, 2012

Space Marine armore

Laura Ashley 40K: Space Marine Armoire
posted by zippy at 12:23 PM on November 1, 2012 [3 favorites]

asnider: larger-than-standard powered armour

Cataphractii Pattern Terminator Armour.

And I must admit, I first read armoire, too.
posted by CancerMan at 12:24 PM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Thel's reply: "Unleash the fury that you showed during the Aurelian Crusade, and we shall be glad to have even a few Blood Ravens with us."
posted by Gelatin at 12:28 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

We need... ten minute edit windows!
posted by boo_radley at 12:31 PM on November 1, 2012

we need editable edit windows!
posted by zippy at 12:44 PM on November 1, 2012

Dawn of War 2 and Chaos Rising are fantastic games. Particularly in co-op - if you get the chance to struggle past the GFWL fuckery then it's totally worth playing through the campaign with a buddy. Make sure you put the difficulty up, though.

Part of the reason is the deranged glee with which everything -everything - explodes. But mainly it's because they're damn well written. It's tosh, of course, but it's tosh that nails the utterly parodic yet grimly serious tone and essence of the 40k world.

And there's a bit at the end 'You didn't expect to survive this, did you?" "No. No, I did not." that actually has emotional heft. Which, in a game made of 9 foot Catholic robot men from the futurepast hitting each other with chainsaws, ain't bad.
posted by Sebmojo at 12:49 PM on November 1, 2012 [5 favorites]

Huh. And I just saw this kid's Halloween costume yesterday (albeit it's from 2010, it's new to me).
posted by Wossname at 1:00 PM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

A comment on JoshReads (..the comics so you don't have to) suggested that WH40K comic was authored by Jeff Keane's son. If true, he's the best Keane writer of all time…

Of all time!
posted by Mad_Carew at 1:00 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Just when I thought WH40K couldn't get any sillier, I see Space Marine armore with a hair-hole.

Which is especially ridiculous considering that:

1) He's wearing larger-than-standard powered armour (I can't recall the proper name, from my brief stint at a WH40K player); and

2) The hair-hole isn't on his head; that's a lot of back hair!

The taint of chaos!
posted by Artw at 1:25 PM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

Come on WH40K started out silly. That is why we love it so.
posted by winna at 1:33 PM on November 1, 2012

gurple: Holy crap, that was real?

Maybe Keane was reading DFS DFC all along....

... I assume you meant.
posted by IAmBroom at 1:37 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

CancerMan: "Cataphractii Pattern Terminator Armour.

And I must admit, I first read armoire, too."

Heresey is magic!
posted by boo_radley at 1:37 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Looks less like a hair-hole and more like a, like, horsetail or something decoration to me.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 1:40 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Smart Dalek: " the perfect double for Typhus the Traveller,"

Since the Heresy, Typhus has continued to spread the glory of Nurgle across the galaxy. Leading a contingent of Death Guard of the Plague Fleet from the Terminus Est, Typhus is known to have laid waste to the world of Ligeta with a noise-plague where the infected became forced to eternally sing a hymn to the Lord of Decay.

So, WH40K is like Pokemon run through a grimdark markov process?
posted by ennui.bz at 1:44 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Shut your hair hole!
posted by Ad hominem at 1:52 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Heh, heh... Nurgle.
posted by Splunge at 1:53 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

The glorious hair hole of Nurgle is no laughing matter!
posted by Artw at 2:00 PM on November 1, 2012 [6 favorites]

So, WH40K is like Pokemon run through a grimdark markov process?

More like a pop culture katamari ball studded with skulls and spikes.

I can only assume they let someone who was reading a lot of Rob Liefeld design Typhus.
posted by Artw at 2:02 PM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

My initial mouse hover gave me the fleeting impression that Keane had lost himself to Dark Souls, but this is cool too I guess
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:14 PM on November 1, 2012

So, WH40K is like Pokemon run through a grimdark markov process?

More like a pop culture katamari ball studded with skulls and spikes.

This will explain everything
posted by griphus at 2:18 PM on November 1, 2012

I love how once every six months or so there's a reason to crack wise about Warhammer for a day or two.

(Takes a healthy swig from a wine bottle): One for me,
(Spills some thick, red liquid from the bottle): One for my dead homies,
(Throws the bottle, still half-full into the air, shots it with a bolt-gun): And the rest for the blood god, beyotch.
posted by kaibutsu at 2:29 PM on November 1, 2012

This made my morning. Te horrible truth of it is, I've got nowhere else to share the strange sense of glee I felt at this comic. If I showed it to Mrs. Ghidorah, she wouldn't get it. None of the people I interact with on a daily basis would have any clue what it meant.

On the other hand, I can always count on Metafilter for my BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! fix.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:35 PM on November 1, 2012 [2 favorites]

I don't know where this originates but here.

IN THE GRIM FUTURE OF HELLO KITTY...
posted by poe at 2:36 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

>2) The hair-hole isn't on his head; that's a lot of back hair!

The taint of chaos!

Um, the taint of chaos is somewhat lower and a bit further forward. But it is very very chaotic.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:48 PM on November 1, 2012

On the other hand, I can always count on Metafilter for my BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! fix.

Well, you know what they say: if you're not the BLOOD GOD, you're the BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
posted by griphus at 2:48 PM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

Thought this was going to be one of the links.
posted by Iteki at 2:50 PM on November 1, 2012

There is little jig of schadenfreude going on in my soul, knowing that my former employer has been crushed in coolness by Family-frakking-Circus.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:51 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

One chuckle in fifty-two years. Heckuva job, Keane.

Jeff Keane has not been drawing this comic for 52 years. He is the son of the original Family Circus cartoonist, Bil Kean, who passed away last year. I'm proud to say Bil's first cartoon was published in the newspaper where I work.
posted by sixpack at 2:55 PM on November 1, 2012

The last Bil Keane was not the original Keane either— his name was Cummerbund. The original Bil Keane has been retired for fifty years and living like a king in Patagonia.
posted by hattifattener at 3:19 PM on November 1, 2012 [20 favorites]

It was way better when it was on SpinWebe and called Dysfunctional Family Circus.
posted by stormpooper at 3:26 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Goddamnit, christallmighty, I have a fucking rule about looking at Family Circus and I just broke it and I'll be in an apoplectic rage for the rest of the evening.
posted by TheTingTangTong at 3:39 PM on November 1, 2012

Wow. The edges of reality are melting.
posted by GuyZero at 3:49 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

I can only assume they let someone who was reading a lot of Rob Liefeld design Typhus.

Having seen the "mood boards" they've had up in the designers' studio in the past, oh yes, there was plenty of Liefeld.

Woe be to the indie comic reader in the hallowed halls of Games Workshop - you foolish mortals with your natural body types and stories about everyday life!
posted by Katemonkey at 4:17 PM on November 1, 2012

Um, the taint of chaos is somewhat lower and a bit further forward.

Heavy mutation!
posted by Artw at 4:21 PM on November 1, 2012

One Necron turns to another as they stand in the darkened worldtomb.

"I hate Mondays," it says.

Ten thousand years pass.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:38 PM on November 1, 2012 [10 favorites]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHLASANGNA!
posted by Artw at 4:41 PM on November 1, 2012

Made me laugh into the San Jose Mercury News yesterday.
posted by mdoar at 4:42 PM on November 1, 2012

Just to complete the Keane-Griffith-SanRio triad: Hello Kitty has no mouth!
posted by TedW at 6:27 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

(If you don't get my last comment, just follow Smart Dalek's Yow!)
posted by TedW at 6:45 PM on November 1, 2012

Best. Thread. Evar.

/fap
posted by bardic at 11:27 PM on November 1, 2012

poe: IN THE GRIM FUTURE OF HELLO KITTY...

There's a far older and more detailed WH40K/HK crossover...
posted by hanov3r at 7:41 AM on November 2, 2012

> Ten thousand years pass.

I was drinking coffee when I read that, and the rapid-nose-breath whisper-laugh into the mug was shortly followed by a loud explosion of coffee and me trying not to choke, while laughing at the same time.

My coworkers are used to me laughing at obscure and random things, and never has a reference left them completely clueless as to what I found funny until just now. Nobody got the reference.

The word "Warhammer" invoked expressions of incredulity and confusion that are generally reserved for how the rest of the company looks at us when we are talking about using SDR to bouncing signals off of the ISS, or any of the other completely random obscure things we talk about.

And with this, I've managed to blow my cover and out myself as the biggest nerd within a large collective of engineers and developers in a very technical company.
posted by MysticMCJ at 9:04 AM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

It's like Keane isn't even paying attention to the continuity.

Actually, that's just one of the numerous continuity glitches stemming from Marmaduke chewing on the universe.

It's Marmadukes all the way down.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 5:45 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]