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November 2, 2012 11:46 AM   Subscribe

Something Awful.com - Design The Worst Band T-Shirt Ever.
posted by The Whelk (58 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
Strangely, I think about half of these are better than the actual band t-shirts they're supposed to be worse than...
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:55 AM on November 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


Yeah, so far I've only seen two or three that are anything other than the best band t-shirts ever.
posted by The World Famous at 11:56 AM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


The "worse" they get, the more they'd be entirely in-place on the backs of the post-ironic youth around here. There may be no winning this game.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:57 AM on November 2, 2012 [11 favorites]


The Amanda Palmer "please give" and the Metallica "COOL PRICES" ones made me LOL (as they say); the others were pretty indistinguishable from authentic band t-shirts for me. ):
posted by latkes at 11:59 AM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


I looked at all of them and didn't "get" a single one, but then I usually didn't recognize the bands, or recognized them as "one of those bands the internet apparently likes that I've never heard a single song from". I mean, I know who GG Allin is but the paired clipart of a squatting man and a beer bong doesn't really stir me to amusement. I see what they were going for, I guess?
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 11:59 AM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


That GG Allin one is the best worst shirt.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:59 AM on November 2, 2012 [12 favorites]


mean, I know who GG Allin is but the paired clipart of a squatting man and a beer bong doesn't really stir me to amusement.

It's all about taste.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:00 PM on November 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


So... How do I buy all of these?
posted by cmoj at 12:00 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


OK, the Smiths one is funny too. I guess their's a good 'un every couple pages.
posted by latkes at 12:01 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


The funniest and freshest are still the original winners.
posted by steinsaltz at 12:01 PM on November 2, 2012 [16 favorites]


"Metallica - Cool Prices" is bad, but the rest fail to horrify. Sorry, SA.
posted by yath at 12:01 PM on November 2, 2012


I get the Manson one though, right? It's a reference to the urban legend about Paul from The Wonder Years having a vertebrae removed so he could autofellatiate, isn't it?
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 12:02 PM on November 2, 2012


low times, the podcast that inspired all this, is really pretty terrific. their episode about the worst lyrics of all time with ted leo is a thing of beauty.
posted by marshmallow peep at 12:02 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


It's all about taste.

A tip of the hat, Señor Pileon. It was all worth it for that right there.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 12:04 PM on November 2, 2012


I spent a number of years running a shop that sold band t-shirts. A lot of these are genuinely better than the official merch some bands have.

I'm looking directly at you, every single nu-metal and late-90s alternative band ever.
posted by griphus at 12:04 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also, if you know anyone that needs to buy a two-foot tall stack of XL Korn t-shirts, let me know. I got a guy.
posted by griphus at 12:05 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I get the Rick Ross one, he used the be a prison guard.

Dunno about the rest. Maybe it is proof I am old now or something but I never thought there would be something on SA I didn't get.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:07 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would absolutely wear the Death in June T-shirt with little cartoon Adolf Hitler getting socked in the jaw.
posted by infinitywaltz at 12:08 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


The funniest and freshest are still the original winners.

Oh my god, so, so funny. The Animal Collective one! Jesus.
posted by latkes at 12:09 PM on November 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Gaspar Lewis needs to get hired by bands to make their actual t-shirts.
posted by capricorn at 12:11 PM on November 2, 2012


I could not stop laughing at the use of high school animal mascot art in the Low Times ones.
posted by steinsaltz at 12:12 PM on November 2, 2012


Ok, maybe not the Nas one.
posted by capricorn at 12:12 PM on November 2, 2012


I'm seeing a Star Trek TNG font as a recurring theme here.
posted by Kabanos at 12:20 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metallica - Cool Price made me think of this awesome picture.
posted by jquinby at 12:26 PM on November 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


It's basically Idakoos with a Band Names subsite.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:27 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I thought the worst shirt would have some three wolves. Was not disappointed. Scroll down a bit to Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

For a really bad shirt I think you would need some Thomas "Painter of Light" Kinkade imagery.
posted by hot_monster at 12:34 PM on November 2, 2012


The Drexciya one is my favorite. I'd actually wear that.

Rick Ross with the donut/cop art and the Metallica low prices ones were great too.
posted by sparkletone at 12:37 PM on November 2, 2012


The blank tanktop VANGELI$ (with marijuana leaf in the 'A') is the best one ever. I would wear that to all the parties.
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:38 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


The Decemberists one on the Low Times page is like the greatest awful gift from your out-of-touch "crafty" aunt ever.
posted by anthom at 12:40 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


"I wish I was cool"
posted by srboisvert at 12:41 PM on November 2, 2012


The Korpiklaani one is hilarious, and could just as easily serve as a Wolves in the Throne Room shirt.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:45 PM on November 2, 2012


Where can I buy some of these?
posted by telstar at 12:53 PM on November 2, 2012


Biffy Clyro a great bunch of lads all the best

This is what you get when you allow your fans to design and vote...
posted by Damienmce at 12:57 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


I really want that Danzig shirt
posted by mannequito at 12:58 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


The Steve Albini shirt elicited from me one of those snickers that turns into a chortle.
posted by Coatlicue at 1:00 PM on November 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Submitted without further comment. warning makes horrible noise
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:03 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Came for digs at Amanda Palmer and her cheap-ass, no-class bullshit. Was not disappoint!
posted by mikoroshi at 1:15 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I've only heard of a handful of these bands before. I feel like I just walked into a conversation in the lobby of a college radio station (and trust me, I've done that many times in my life).
posted by spamguy at 1:26 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I feel like these are all jokes that I don't get.

Mah lawn, mah lawn, you damn kids....
posted by slogger at 1:28 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Le Tigre, Buju Banton, and Diplo shirts made guffaw. Someone needs to send a stack of those to Mr. Banton.
posted by 1adam12 at 1:29 PM on November 2, 2012


I do t-shirts for a living. This thread does not feel like a break from work for me.
posted by randomkeystrike at 1:36 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


Christ, what a t-shirt.
posted by orme at 1:53 PM on November 2, 2012 [11 favorites]


I'm a little ashamed that I understand the DJ assault shirt. But I did giggle.
posted by MillMan at 2:26 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Haha, the burzum and sunn o))) ones get my vote. The steve albini one is also great.
posted by palbo at 2:27 PM on November 2, 2012


oh man the Korpiklanni one is perfect. (They're a Finnish folk metal band.)
posted by egypturnash at 2:33 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


This Fugazi mock-up is actually pretty funny, assuming you've seen Instrument.
posted by Ufez Jones at 3:25 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought the worst shirt would have some three wolves. Was not disappointed. Scroll down a bit to Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

Really? That was my favorite, and not because it relies on the whole three-wolf-night thing—it's just one of the best-designed of the whole bunch.
posted by limeonaire at 3:26 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have the best/worst band t-shirt. Band's name is Wussy, and the shirt has the band name and a logo of a couple 50s-era children riding a giant yellow circus peanut.

When i wear it, people come up to me and tell me I'm brave.
posted by notsnot at 4:34 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


This one is brilliant. Sunn O))) is a drone band: slow, heavy, depressing.
posted by ersatz at 5:19 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Amen, erstaz. I desire the Sunn O))) shirt now.
posted by solarion at 8:13 PM on November 2, 2012


That Fugazi t-shirt is absolutely fantastic and I would wear it, with pride.
posted by scody at 10:12 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


One Direction Vol 4 made me laugh out loud.
posted by Decani at 2:15 AM on November 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Buju Banton is great (he's a total homophobe).

Also good: New Order World Tour (cashing in on Ian Curtis' death) and My Bloody Valentine (same page, they're a noise/shoegaze band, the shirt makes them look like a bad metal band).

The Jet one references a great review they got in Pitchfork.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:56 AM on November 3, 2012


Speaking of Fugazi, I saw a Ramones cushion for sale in my local Primark (think Wal-Mart without the food) the other day. I couldn't get upset about them selling PiL, De La Soul and other band shirts because I remember being a kid and never being able to get the band shirts I wanted as nobody toured where I lived, but that is TOO FAR.
posted by mippy at 3:31 AM on November 3, 2012


Hey this reminds me of the time I paid to have 200 band shirts printed up. Two weeks before said band broke up.

I feel especially bad for the five people who bought one.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:31 AM on November 3, 2012


If I were still of an age when a band T-shirt didn't look laughably stupid on me, any of these would be great, not "worst." The Velvet Underground one is hilarious.
posted by blucevalo at 9:03 AM on November 3, 2012


The thing with the original contest was that it had to be done strictly with the tools and art on the customink website.
posted by gjc at 9:14 AM on November 3, 2012


I have the best/worst band t-shirt. Band's name is Wussy, and the shirt has the band name and a logo of a couple 50s-era children riding a giant yellow circus peanut.

When i wear it, people come up to me and tell me I'm brave.


Ahh Wussy. I could imagine them having a best/worst kind of shirt like that.

I used to own the worst/worst band shirt, which was this awful hand-painted bluish-gray...thing resembling little more than a long-underwear top with poorly applied black fabric paint, presumably made by the members of this unknown one-off band called Salvation. Now, the headliner, Bettie Serveert, is great, the members played amazingly, and I got to meet a couple of them while buying a shirt, but otherwise, I have mostly bad memories of that night. My tickets never arrived, my husband was sick but came anyway, Salvation sucked, and I sorta got conned into buying one of their shirts while waiting for Bettie Serveert merch. The only time I ever wore the Salvation shirt was when my husband and I were having a fight, and the Bettie Serveert shirt became my bad-luck shirt. I ended up giving both of them to Goodwill to get rid of the bad vibes.
posted by limeonaire at 6:17 PM on November 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


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