An Alien and a Rat vs. Two Monsters. Sounds right.

November 2, 2012 2:28 PM

In 2008, the Muppetheads behind the Tough Pigs staged their own muppety election, in which Ernie (and running mate Bert) won the Presidency over a Fraggle ticket of Gobo & Red. Now they're doing it again, but with Ernie not going for a second term and inevitable favorite Kermit not running either, the 2012 Muppet Election is between a Sesame Street ticket of Grover/Cookie Monster and a Muppet Show ticket of Gonzo/Rizzo. And yes, there is negative campaigning on both sides.

Yes, it was inevitable Gonzo would have a "Birthers" problem, and there are other parallels with current candidates, but this is NOT just another Election-based satire. THESE ARE MUPPETS (and as such, are better qualified than ALL the other candidates at all levels of Government, right?) Sit back and enjoy.

posted by oneswellfoop (26 comments total)

Gonzo has a lot of heart and he sure dreams big. His links to many chickens may cause some difficulties though. But I predict Camilla will stand by her... well whatever Gonzo is. He's a little like a turkey.
posted by JARED!!! at 2:39 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wouldn't be the first time a muppet ran the country (see also, Wilson, Woodrow).
posted by drezdn at 2:45 PM on November 2, 2012

Statler/Waldorf 2016: Yes, We're Still Alive And Laughing At You
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:50 PM on November 2, 2012 [9 favorites]

I would vote Statler/Waldorf for the actual presidency of the United States in a heartbeat.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:57 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Don't make me choose. This is too hard.

If I had to choose, I want to vote Grover/Gonzo -- or Gonzo/Grover. Rizzo is too cynical and it's way too easy to bribe Cookie Monster.

Gonzo, though, clearly has no fear of anything, and Grover has demonstrated his incredible dedication to service.
posted by jb at 2:57 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm voting Gonzo. We all know that Grover is a monster.
posted by azpenguin at 3:05 PM on November 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

I voted Grover/Cookie. I like Gonzo a lot, and a Gonzo/Grover ticket would be my first choice, but I just don't like Rizzo.

[Not Rat-ist]
posted by oddman at 3:18 PM on November 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

GOOGLE BIG BIRD
posted by not_on_display at 3:20 PM on November 2, 2012 [11 favorites]

C is for Cookie. That's good enough for me.
posted by tully_monster at 3:21 PM on November 2, 2012 [7 favorites]

I want to vote for sweet loveable Grover, but his choice of running mate give me the creeps.
posted by vespabelle at 3:22 PM on November 2, 2012

I could have sworn this guy was running
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:24 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]

Not quite...
posted by phong3d at 3:28 PM on November 2, 2012

What the fuck? This is even a choice? Gonzo in a heartbeat. Grover hates immigrants and cookie monster is a total homophobe.
posted by nevercalm at 3:29 PM on November 2, 2012

Could be worse, Grover could've picked Elmo as his running mate - or is he underage?

I'd probably support any ticket with Rowlf as Vice-President. Better than Biden. (Although I'd love to hear Rowlf call something a "big fucking deal")

At least we were spared any primary campaign - can you imagine the rhetoric we would've gotten from Sam the Eagle?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:30 PM on November 2, 2012

I'm sorry, is there a clear place where I can go vote? (for Gonzo, obviously.)
posted by Navelgazer at 3:39 PM on November 2, 2012

An Alien and a Rat vs. Two Monsters. Sounds right.

Birther eh
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:05 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

As much as I support Grover's stances on most every topic, I'm not sure I can vote for him. I'm specifically concerned that his duties as SuperGrover will interfere with his duties as POTUS.
Also, while his domestic experience is somewhat lacking, Gonzo has foreign policy locked DOWN (you can't get much more foreign than him) .
Lastly, concerns about Rizzo are overblown. One, Gonzo is f'ing indestructible, so no concerns with inheritance. And honestly? Rizzo is STILL better than Cheney or Ryan.
posted by mfu at 4:20 PM on November 2, 2012 [4 favorites]

I'd definitely vote for Statler and Waldorf, but only if they could both be president.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 4:28 PM on November 2, 2012

My candidate was the Swedish Chef, but he dropped out after the first debate because no one could understand his answers to the questions.
posted by briank at 4:41 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Cookie's the kinda monster who would totally wash his sweet Trans-Am in the Whitehouse drive (and then eat it).
posted by bonehead at 4:44 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

The debates should be like this. Or perhaps this.
posted by zarq at 6:03 PM on November 2, 2012

nevercalm: "cookie monster is a total homophobe."

I think you misspelled homophone.
posted by Apropos of Something at 9:34 PM on November 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Whoever wins should tap Animal for Secretary of State.
posted by homunculus at 12:52 AM on November 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

How can you people be so naive? Everyone knows that Statler and Waldorf are heavily involved due to their anonymous contributions to Pro Muppet Show SuperPACs.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2012

President Elmo on the phone with the Pentagon.
posted by bonehead at 12:03 PM on November 6, 2012

The results are in... it's Gonzo.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:05 PM on November 6, 2012