What's Snots?
November 8, 2012 9:27 AM   Subscribe

 
Wow, that's just mean.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:33 AM on November 8, 2012


The glory of kids and live television.
posted by me3dia at 9:41 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well I can't halfway understand that loud screeching pig thing either.
posted by matt_od at 9:41 AM on November 8, 2012 [25 favorites]


Is it a ting?
posted by ColdChef at 9:46 AM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]




Is it a ting?

Tirty-tree euros same as in town.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:03 AM on November 8, 2012 [10 favorites]


I can't understand any of this.
posted by Obscure Reference at 10:03 AM on November 8, 2012 [16 favorites]


Between the accents and the lo-fi and the screeching it all sounds like Prisecolinensinenciousol. Subtitles? Transcript?
posted by echo target at 10:09 AM on November 8, 2012 [4 favorites]


I dont even know what the expected response to "Safe as a ..." is.
posted by jozxyqk at 10:12 AM on November 8, 2012


Yeah, after a minute or so, I got bored, and let it play in the background while I worked on a task. After another minute, I realized that I just had a really annoying screeching pig sound going on that I wasn't even paying attention to because I couldn't understand half of what it was saying. Is this supposed to be funny?
posted by mysterpigg at 10:13 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I really wanted to punch that horrible screechy Miss Piggy ting.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:14 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't get it.
posted by kmz at 10:15 AM on November 8, 2012


Kid was trolling so hard.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:15 AM on November 8, 2012


I wanted to punch everything I saw on the screen and that was before I even started the video.

It got worse.
posted by DU at 10:17 AM on November 8, 2012


I'd heard Irish television was bad... but not quite that bad.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:21 AM on November 8, 2012


I dont even know what the expected response to "Safe as a ..." is.

"Safe as houses"

I'm not sure it's an expression small children would know, though. Maybe in Ireland?
posted by jacquilynne at 10:22 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Two Irish children misunderstand a quiz show

[Number] [nationality] [age] [verb] a [noun]. Worst Mad Lib ever.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:26 AM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


Infinity German centenarians suck a monkey.
posted by etc. at 10:29 AM on November 8, 2012 [5 favorites]


Is it Ghostbusters 2?
posted by jozxyqk at 10:39 AM on November 8, 2012 [6 favorites]


I had tears streaming down my face by the halfway point, but the last line almost killed me: "What we'll do is, both of you win a bike!".

I hope for poor Kevin from County Galway's sake that the shiny new bike made up for the years of brutal playground mockery that must've followed his appearance.
posted by jack_mo at 10:40 AM on November 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


Kid was trolling so hard.

Yeah, the 'wait one minute, I just have to do something' bit made me wonder, but his plaintive 'I can't really hear you on the 'phone' makes me think he just had absolutely no fucking idea what was going on.
posted by jack_mo at 10:43 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought it couldn't get worse than Miss Piggy, but this is like ... They tried to make Miss Piggy amped TO THE EXTREME HIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAH!

(It hurts!)
posted by symbioid at 10:44 AM on November 8, 2012


[Number] [nationality] [age] [verb] a [noun]. Worst Mad Lib ever.

[Two] [Italian-American] [utes] [did not rob] a [Sac-o-Suds]
Uh, [utes]?
Yeah. Ya'know. [Utes]?
posted by The Bellman at 10:46 AM on November 8, 2012 [6 favorites]


Is it supposed to be a 20 Questions variant game? If not, I have no idea what I just watched.
posted by vidur at 10:56 AM on November 8, 2012


Ugh. That is one ugly knock-off Miss Piggy puppet. And largely unintelligible to this American.
posted by zardoz at 10:59 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Of course, for those blessedly unaware of Irish television, as I was until a sadistic friend introduced me to this particular part of it, that ... thing on the right of the screen is Dustin the Turkey, aka Ireland's official Eurovision 2008 entry.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:08 AM on November 8, 2012 [5 favorites]


Ireland's official Eurovision 2008 entry

So those two nice priests singing about the horse didn't make it?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:18 AM on November 8, 2012 [10 favorites]


TREBECK! WE MEET AGAIN!
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:21 AM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Could anyone who speaks this language provide us with a transcript?
posted by Blasdelb at 11:22 AM on November 8, 2012


Word, that is so funny. Though I can't help but think the kids were in conspiracy with each other so they would both win a bike.

Also, Dustin the Turkey is brought to us by the same folks who whelped Zig and Zag into existence. Hopefully there is a puppet underworld where a Satanic Gordon T Gopher gets to torture them for the rest of time.
posted by Jehan at 11:42 AM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


Wait, the name of the game is, inexplicably, "Who's Snots?" and 'snots' is... what exactly? Is it the pig character? If so, why is the answer apparently 'a house'.

This is very confusing and annoying. I can't believe I watched the whole thing.

Sneaky internet. Sneaky, sneaky internet, stealing my life away.
posted by Phreesh at 12:17 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


The fact that it's Irish, and the mention of bikes, and the general, funny hellishness of the whole clip made me want to believe it was a viral ad for a movie adaptation of The Third Policeman.
posted by cog_nate at 12:26 PM on November 8, 2012 [4 favorites]


Here's my attempt at a transcript for anyone struggling with the accents (I missed a few small bits amidst the pig's shrieking), though I'm not sure it will make it much funnier. The magic is in watching the host lose it as the segment falls apart.

Snots(er) is the pig character, yes. The segment seems to be called What's Snots as he's (supposed to be?) answering in the first person as the object/person/etc that is the answer.
posted by notionoriety at 12:48 PM on November 8, 2012 [12 favorites]


I am nearly throwing up from laughing at this. I keep breaking into fits of sniggers, and it's been about five minutes. While the entire thing was amazing, I must agree with my fine co-mefite above, that the final offer of the bike nearly mad me wet the couch.

Distressingly my main concern was what the hell happened Dustin's accent?! Did he have a D4 sub for the afternoon or wha'? For those who aren't quite as au fait with The Den I can reveal that Zig and Zag (who wear amazeballs before they emigrated) won in a golf tournament, but ended up getting saved and becoming a pet instead of christmas dinner. He was a bit of a dodgey builder, going around of course in a white hi-ace, and for quite a while his schtick was a literal 2x4.
posted by Iteki at 1:03 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


If ever there was a video that could be improved by YouTube's hilariously awful auto-transcription, this would be it.
posted by flyingfox at 1:17 PM on November 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is it Ghostbusters 2?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:24 PM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


God, that had me rolling. "Both of you win a bike!". The reaction of a man who just wants it to end at any cost.

I can't understand why so many people here can't understand this. Do you not have Irish people in America? I'd rather thought there were one or two dotted about.
posted by Decani at 2:11 PM on November 8, 2012


Irish people can't even understand each other.
posted by grog at 2:26 PM on November 8, 2012 [4 favorites]


The bloody pig was nearly unintelligible at parts, and not because of the accent, but just because (s)he did nothing but screech. That, combined with the low audio quality, was painful.

It was amusing how the host cracked up every time the girl got a question wrong and he had to go back to poor, clueless Kevin.
posted by asnider at 2:34 PM on November 8, 2012


Iteki:
"Distressingly my main concern was what the hell happened Dustin's accent?! Did he have a D4 sub for the afternoon or wha'? For those who aren't quite as au fait with The Den I can reveal that Zig and Zag (who wear amazeballs before they emigrated) won in a golf tournament, but ended up getting saved and becoming a pet instead of christmas dinner. He was a bit of a dodgey builder, going around of course in a white hi-ace, and for quite a while his schtick was a literal 2x4"

Yeah, I don't understand what the fuck you're saying, either.
posted by Red Loop at 3:15 PM on November 8, 2012 [10 favorites]


She's saying that Zag, a space alien puppet that started on the children's show The Den, participated in a golf tournament where he won Dustin the Turkey as a meal. But then children's novelist Don Conroy informed them that Dustin was, in fact, a turkey buzzard, and not good to eat. Additionally, Dustin has his own building company, and drives around Ireland in a white Toyota HiAce.

You didn't get that?

I'm a bit surprised nobody linked to the fact that Dustin was Ireland's official Eurovision entry in 2008, doing a song that actually parodied the entire contest.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:28 PM on November 8, 2012


Bunny Ultramod: You didn't get that?

Wow, I didn't.
In fact, Iteki didn't mention Don Conroy either. Here are still other things I don't understand:
Zig
D4 sub
amazeballs ('were' or 'wear' -- looks like a typo)
emigrated (to england, I guess?)

I just now got the hiAce thing from reading your comment.

I did however, take 'chrismas dinner' to mean some kind of eating ritual. So i'm probably at least getting some of it right.

So, since I'm learning about the old country's children's shows, why is the pig called 'Snots'? Does snot mean the same thing over there?

I'm still laughing at the horror of the show, though. Are these like the "cute" versions of spittin image puppets?
posted by lkc at 4:40 PM on November 8, 2012


Distressingly my main concern was what the hell happened Dustin's accent?! Did he have a D4 sub for the afternoon or wha'? For those who aren't quite as au fait with The Den I can reveal that Zig and Zag (who wear amazeballs before they emigrated) won in a golf tournament, but ended up getting saved and becoming a pet instead of christmas dinner. He was a bit of a dodgey builder, going around of course in a white hi-ace, and for quite a while his schtick was a literal 2x4.

Beckett's not dead. You mad fucking bastard, show yourself.
posted by tigrefacile at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


I just threw the Don Conroy thing in because it's interesting.

Snots is short for Snotser. Snot means the same thing over there.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:47 PM on November 8, 2012


Amusingly, Akinator wasn't able to guess Snotser... we'll have to rectify that.
posted by Gable Oak at 4:54 PM on November 8, 2012


Oh, somebody did link to the Eurovision

That Turkey has also regularly run for political office as President (full name: Dustin Hoffman; number 2 on the list here) and is a UNICEF officer. Irish puppets seem to lead far more active offscreen lives than their American counterparts.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 5:00 PM on November 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


For those of you who aren't deaf, this is what EVERY YouTube video sounds like to me. Support captioning!
posted by desjardins at 6:24 PM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


Besides the fact that my Southern ears couldn't understand a word of that, I was very worried that the pig's face was so dirty. Why don't they wash his face?
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 6:45 PM on November 8, 2012


I passed by a farm in County Galway and saw a pig with only three legs. So I stopped and asked the farmer, "Why has that pig got only three legs?"

"Oh, that's old Lord Cunningham," the farmer explained, "and what a special pig he is."

"But why has it got only three legs?"

"Well," the farmer specified, "I was out on the land on my combine harvester and my trousers snagged on the door like and I fell off the combine harvester and in front of it and I almost lost a leg myself if it wasn't for brave Lord Cunningham to save me that day, and what a special pig he is."

"So that's how it lost a leg?"

"Oh, no no no."

"So how did it lose its leg?"

"Well," the farmer elucidated, "just the other week my son Néall was fishing on Lough Corrib, so he was, when his boat tipped over and Néall fell in the water and the poor boy would have drowned if it wasn't for valiant Lord Cunningham to save him that day, and what a special pig he is, fair play to him."

"So, surely that's how it lost its leg?"

"Oh, no no no. Well the other day our little angel Niamh was playing out by the well and she fell into the well, d'you know what I mean like and if noble Lord Cunningham hadn't been there to lift her out then our precious Niamh, she wouldn't be here among the living anymore she wouldn't, and what a special pig he is, just grand."

"Okay. So that is how it lost its leg then."

"Oh, no no no."

"Then tell me, why on earth does that pig have only three legs!?"

"Well," the farmer said, "you wouldn't want to eat a pig that special in one go, now would you."
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:35 PM on November 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


"For those of you who aren't deaf, this is what EVERY YouTube video sounds like to me. Support captioning!"
posted by desjardins at 6:24 PM on November 8 [2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]

That's exactly what I was going to say! If only notionoriety could come live next door and transcribe all the videos I miss because of Google's piss-poor autocaptioning!
posted by humph at 3:36 AM on November 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


The best, best, best getting-it-wrong-on-a-quiz-show clip has to be the Radio Merseyside pot 8 toes clip.

(The sound quality's not bad but I know it so well I could probably write a transcript if anyone needs it.)
posted by humph at 3:45 AM on November 9, 2012


It was such an innocent title: Two Irish Children Misunderstand a Quiz Show. The reality was a nightmare, a screaming, screeching horror. Thanks to my years of watching British television (in which Irish characters sometimes have supporting roles) I was able to get about 3/4 of that, but it took me until at least the 2 minute mark to figure out what was going on. I thought the point of What's Snot? was to figure out what the puppet was. It sort of looked pig-like, but I wasn't too sure.

But in retrospect it is hilarious. Something, the show or perhaps your comments, are making me laugh so hard the tears are streaming down my face. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, maybe?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:59 AM on November 9, 2012


If you're wondering why you watched this, imagine waking up with a hangover and reading that you'd transcribed it.
posted by notionoriety at 7:51 AM on November 9, 2012 [7 favorites]


I like that the Turkey just wanders off for a while.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:03 PM on November 9, 2012


Seriously, this video would go to 1m+ views if they provide a subtitle track that plays automatically.
posted by meadowlark lime at 12:45 PM on November 9, 2012


The best, best, best getting-it-wrong-on-a-quiz-show clip has to be the Radio Merseyside pot 8 toes clip

This one would be a contender but Mark from Greenacre on Triple M does get it right eventually.
posted by moody cow at 8:28 PM on November 9, 2012


The best, best, best getting-it-wrong-on-a-quiz-show clip has to be the Radio Merseyside pot 8 toes clip

It's easy to miss, what with the two solid minutes of "pot eight toes" madness, but the sublime moment of that clip is: "Me slippers!".

Also, drifting off the topic of quiz failure, but still in the realm of presenters seriously losing it: the Brian Johnston 'leg over' incident and Charlotte Green corpsing while reading an obituary.
posted by jack_mo at 3:46 AM on November 10, 2012


Irish puppets seem to lead far more active offscreen lives than their American counterparts

Indeed. American muppets might've done duets with rock stars but not slagging them off at the same time.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:40 AM on November 11, 2012


In knots again thinking about this, don't dare watch it again for fear of ruining it.

Apologies for any confusion caused and many thanks to Bunny for the assist. Since lkc seems to still need some clarification, let me leave some further notes:

Zig - Zags brother, they yellow one. Zag is the purple one with green spots.

D4 sub - sub as in substitute, like in football or teaching. They appeared to have a stand-in for Dustin, possibly from the Dublin 4 postcode, as he had an unusually posh accent, and Dustin is famously from The Noggin, and used to sound more like this (except more so, context for that clip provided beow).

amazeballs ('were' or 'wear' -- looks like a typo) - I have no excuses for this (also, yes to typo)

emigrated (to england, I guess?) - Zig and Zag were bought up as a concept by the UK-based Channel 4 Big Breakfast Show. Their major charm initially was that they worked on two levels, entertaining the little kids watching the after-school show, but also with lots of stuff going over the kids heads and keeping the poor parents sane. Moving them to an adult show where that wasn't necessary made it just be rude puppets talking to B-celebs. Suffice to say Zig and Zag on the den were huge with the stones 14 year old set.
posted by Iteki at 4:01 AM on November 11, 2012


I see MartinWesse has the mental cover of Mary as a tribute to the retiring president of Ireland (the orginal being a 90's pop song).

Actually now I fell down a hole of Dustin and Z&Z covers.
Funky Ford Cortina, (I've been to Tullamore but I've) Never been to Meath ,The genuinely excellent Leader of the Gang and out-Shaneing Shane, Fairytale of New York.

Of course this is all without getting into the Rodge and Podge (NSFW) end of things...
posted by Iteki at 5:10 AM on November 11, 2012


Still missing: Arklow, Arklow, county Wicklow...
posted by MartinWisse at 5:26 AM on November 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


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