There once was a slayer from Nantucket
November 11, 2012 10:48 AM   Subscribe

Limericks recapping episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer via IO9
posted by dinty_moore (12 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
A young demi-goddess named Glory
Came to an end rather gory
Changing into her brother
Made her easy to smother
Mainly because Giles is awesome
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:57 AM on November 11, 2012 [12 favorites]


This episode’s really quite odd
(Buffy gets groped by a cod)
But its saving grace
Is Cordelia’s face
When she first gets a sight of Xan’s bod


I can't read that without thinking of another verse which, unfortunately, eclipses it:

The Little Mermaid’s Little Sister
was also partly girl and cod
though in a way which those who kissed her
found odd.

But which, well worth to mention,
though at first sight absurd,
I, with my fond intention,
preferred.


Thank you, Piet Hein, for forever making the word 'cod' such a vibrantly colored little piece of my lexicon.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:34 PM on November 11, 2012


I thought this one was pretty good, though:

Puberty brings lots of change
It’s annoying and sometimes it’s strange
Kids get zits on their faces
And hair in weird places
And, in Oz’s case, possibly mange


Most of them rhyme and scan at least OK, which easily puts the author in the top 99% or so of internet limericists, but most of them are also kind of weak in the punchline. That one gets a pretty good twist in the tail (which Oz would probably not appreciate now that I think about it).
posted by Wolfdog at 12:36 PM on November 11, 2012


A maxim of portent unkind
Has recently troubled my mind
It was heard in a dream
I awoke with a scream
"It eats you, starting behind."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:37 PM on November 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


If your marksmanship's not up to form
And women you generally scorn
From your body, your skin
May be ripped on a whim
And nobody really will morn
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:21 PM on November 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


A graduate student named Riley
Was secretly working for ... Riley
And Riley and Riley
And Riley and Riley
And Riley and Riley and Riley
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:22 PM on November 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


If dead people's chats are for you
There's an episode you must review
With an opening part
By a blue Angie Hart
On November twelfth two thousand two
posted by buzzv at 4:27 PM on November 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ethan backstabbed Giles like a Macbeth-
A Fyarl with mucousy breath!
Though he’d horns on his face
It was worth it to chase
That evil bitchmonster of death
posted by ilana at 4:31 PM on November 11, 2012


In a somnolent hullaballoo,
The First Slayer became nightmare fuel
While their psyches were churned
One thing all Scoobies learned:
Wear the cheese – do not let it wear you
posted by ilana at 4:57 PM on November 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Strange alliance while Willow’s heart mends-
Riley’s wingman was quick to defend
Don’t hurt Buffy or grovel
You’ll be beat with a shovel-
Vague disclaimers are nobody’s friend
------------------
With a Buffybot, Spike was alit
But it turned out he’d just stepped in it
He was tortured, it’s true
For the Key must be new
And Bob Barker is as old as grit

Buffy’s gone to the desert, adrift,
Hokey-Pokey Giles gave her a lift
She returned for a kiss
But was not feeling bliss-
It’s a bitch to find death is your gift
-----------------
Just one summer without their Buffy-
Thank a scary resourceful Scooby
Though they caused a great rift
(She thought death was her gift) -
Willow found a return policy

Okay, I've officially found the perfect storm of distraction. I should be revising my lecture. This post is deadly.
posted by ilana at 5:24 PM on November 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


aagh *mourn
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:12 PM on November 11, 2012


There once was a writer named Whedon
Whose characters die for no reason
At first it is sad, it gets old, you get mad,
Since he does this three times a season.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:10 AM on November 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


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