Inconceivable

November 13, 2012 9:58 PM

ESPN NFL Kickoff Stuffs As Many Princess Bride References Into A Half Hour As Possible What it says on the tin.
posted by sweetkid (47 comments total)

This my friends, is the best of the internet.
posted by iamabot at 10:01 PM on November 13, 2012 [5 favorites]

That word he keeps using....
posted by cthuljew at 10:01 PM on November 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

iamabot: "This my friends, is the best of the internet."

When I was your age, the internet was called television. And this is a special television show.
posted by not_on_display at 10:06 PM on November 13, 2012 [8 favorites]

That guy standing on the right side is having the hardest time keeping himself from cracking up.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:11 PM on November 13, 2012

I'm looking for a six-fingered receiver.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:14 PM on November 13, 2012 [5 favorites]

This feels to me like the B story from an episode of SPORTS NIGHT.
posted by brundlefly at 10:19 PM on November 13, 2012 [26 favorites]

Have fun storming the defense!!!
posted by eriko at 10:20 PM on November 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

You be careful! People in shoulderpads cannot be trusted!
posted by a hat out of hell at 10:23 PM on November 13, 2012

It is almost as if the Bears defense has been saying to opposing offenses all year "get used to disappointment"

One might also say the Titans fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia," but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against the Bears defense when URLACHER is on the line!"
posted by striatic at 10:25 PM on November 13, 2012 [22 favorites]

My name is Inigo Tillman. You have my football. Prepare to fumble.
posted by eriko at 10:28 PM on November 13, 2012 [21 favorites]

Booooooooooooo!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!!!
posted by LionIndex at 10:35 PM on November 13, 2012 [8 favorites]

They've spent many years developing a resistance to Gatorade powder...

Anybody want a peanut?
posted by Chuffy at 10:38 PM on November 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

wait - did one of those guys just tell the other guy he loved him?

as you wish
posted by nadawi at 10:40 PM on November 13, 2012

Linemen of unusual size? I don't believe they exist.
posted by LionIndex at 10:40 PM on November 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wait.... I'm so conflicted. Sport does something good? And amusing?
posted by Mezentian at 10:45 PM on November 13, 2012

AS... YOU... RUSH...!
posted by benzenedream at 10:50 PM on November 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I was your age, the internet was called television. And this is a special television show.

Maybe you can come over tomorrow and we can watch it again.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:55 PM on November 13, 2012 [10 favorites]

Football nerds: still nerds.
posted by figurant at 10:56 PM on November 13, 2012 [11 favorites]

Combining two of my most enduring loves. Thank you for this.
posted by karmiolz at 11:20 PM on November 13, 2012 [1 favorite]

I just had an odd, and rather sad, thought -- we're probably approaching peak Princess Bride. Before too much longer, the people who've loved it will be getting old and irrelevant, and will eventually die.

In another thirty years, it will be that weird cultural referent that only a few people get, and in a hundred, it will probably be forgotten almost completely.

So, there's your lousy thought for Wednesday morning. :(
posted by Malor at 11:35 PM on November 13, 2012

This feels to me like the B story from an episode of SPORTS NIGHT.

Pretty much, but Sports Night would have the story be the guys stuffing in references to a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, a litany of Greek ghosts and gods, or just a series of Songs From the Public Domain.
posted by zachlipton at 11:49 PM on November 13, 2012 [3 favorites]

This is impressive.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:56 PM on November 13, 2012

Malor: "I just had an odd, and rather sad, thought -- we're probably approaching peak Princess Bride. Before too much longer, the people who've loved it will be getting old and irrelevant, and will eventually die.

In another thirty years, it will be that weird cultural referent that only a few people get, and in a hundred, it will probably be forgotten almost completely.

So, there's your lousy thought for Wednesday morning. :("

I was once thinking of dying, but reconsidered it. So there's that.
posted by Samizdata at 12:19 AM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

"I see you are using Lombardi's defense against me!"

"I thought it fitting, considering your field position."
posted by ShutterBun at 12:42 AM on November 14, 2012 [10 favorites]

So, there's your lousy thought for Wednesday morning. :(

Wizard of Oz is still going pretty strong at 73. But will people remember Princess Bride?

It would take a miracle.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:42 AM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

In another thirty years, it will be that weird cultural referent that only a few people get, and in a hundred, it will probably be forgotten almost completely

I think the opposite actually. In 100 years it will probably still be accessible, unlike say the performances of early blues musicians or the original performance of Twelfth Night.

Besides, there'll always be the remake, and the two seque...*gunshot*
posted by fullerine at 1:44 AM on November 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Before too much longer, the people who've loved it will be getting old and irrelevant, and will eventually die.

As somebody who was in his 30s when the movie came out, some here would argue that I'm already old an irrelevant. Also, in another 30 years will be much closer to, if not already dead. To them I say: Have fun storming the castle!
posted by SteveInMaine at 3:22 AM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

this wins at the internet
posted by jannw at 3:41 AM on November 14, 2012

I was once thinking of dying, but reconsidered it. So there's that.

Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything.
posted by jquinby at 4:03 AM on November 14, 2012 [4 favorites]

Wait.... I'm so conflicted. Sport does something good? And amusing?

It's not really that surprising. Sports aren't an evil amalgam of everything that is bad in human nature. Sure, there are problems (like in any culture/activity) but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to be surprised that something a lot of people really like has some redeeming qualities.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:21 AM on November 14, 2012 [11 favorites]

This feels to me like the B story from an episode of SPORTS NIGHT.

And that would be wonderful too.
posted by DigDoug at 5:04 AM on November 14, 2012

So great. I've always liked Trey Wingo, as a Pats fan Tedy Bruschi is a man among men to me, and "THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS" almost redeems Mark Schlereth. But couldn't they have started a rumor that the Buccaneers were interested in trading for Cardinals receiver Andre Roberts? I mean, I think he'd be like the 15th Buccaneer named Roberts in history or something.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:13 AM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

As someone that recently started just watching the Red Zone channel, this is the sort of thing that would almost get to watch the pregame shows. Almost.
posted by inigo2 at 5:29 AM on November 14, 2012

Malor: "I just had an odd, and rather sad, thought -- we're probably approaching peak Princess Bride. Before too much longer, the people who've loved it will be getting old and irrelevant, and will eventually die.

Unless we show it to our kids, and they show their kids...

my family still watches It's a wonderful Life almost every Christmas Eve. It came out before my mother was born, but I still know that "Teacher says, everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."

Also: "If she can stand to listen to it, I can. Play it."
posted by jb at 5:42 AM on November 14, 2012

Please consider becoming a sports fan as an alternative to suicide...
posted by anthom at 6:02 AM on November 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

My estimation of sports commentary guys just went up a notch.
posted by zardoz at 6:06 AM on November 14, 2012

SCWIMMAGE. SCWIMMAGE is what bwings us together today.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:22 AM on November 14, 2012 [20 favorites]

we're probably approaching peak Princess Bride.

Well I finally got tired of all these Princess Bride references and downloaded the film. Let's see.
posted by dhruva at 6:22 AM on November 14, 2012

FelliniBlank: "SCWIMMAGE. SCWIMMAGE is what bwings us together today."

Togeffer. TOGEFFER!
posted by Samizdata at 8:36 AM on November 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

ESPN NFL Kickoff Stuffs As Many Princess Bride References Into A Half Hour As Possible

Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.

Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?

Heh.

The only way this could have been better is if the game was between the Giants and the Buccaneers.

Also, I didn't hear them work, "To the death? No. To the pain!" in there, which seems like a no-brainer--

Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.

Sorry.
posted by misha at 9:19 AM on November 14, 2012

In another thirty years, it will be that weird cultural referent that only a few people get, and in a hundred, it will probably be forgotten almost completely.

I've got a copy that I'm about to watch with my kids. DVD, just to be retro. Just doing my part.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:21 AM on November 14, 2012

Now let's see these guys do the same thing using Withnail and I and then Arrested Development.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:29 AM on November 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Malor: "Before too much longer, the people who've loved it will be getting old and irrelevant, and will eventually die. "

I am not the Dread Princess Bride Fan. I'm actually an Adventure Time fan; I inherited the fandom from the previous Dread Princess Bride Fan, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Princess Bride Fan either. He used to Follow Xena: Warior Princess. The real Fan has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.
posted by radwolf76 at 11:54 AM on November 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Then Belichick explained that the important thing for inspiring fear was the name. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Coach Fisher.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:41 PM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

There's a shortage of perfect throwing arms in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
posted by grubi at 2:05 PM on November 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

"See? I told you Zuerlein wouldn't make that field goal."
"Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:48 PM on November 14, 2012

Also, I didn't hear them work, "To the death? No. To the pain!" in there, which seems like a no-brainer--

posted by misha at 9:19 AM on November 14 [+] [!]

Check out the tweets from the hosts (Trey Wingo - @wingoz - and Mark Schlereth - @markschlereth) - they continued it there. There was at least a "miserable vomitous mass" reference and also a brief "to the pain".

And a Brute Squad, which is nice.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 8:38 PM on November 14, 2012 [4 favorites]