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Down with this sort of thing - Michael Calleri
November 17, 2012 9:37 PM   Subscribe

"snow white and the huntsman is trash. moral garbage. a lot of fuzzy feminist thinking and pandering to creepy hollywood mores produced by metrosexual imbeciles." Michael Calleri, film reviewer for the Niagara Falls Reporter, receives an email from his publisher.
posted by urbanwhaleshark (144 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yet more proof that people who can't spell, capitalize, or punctuate should never be allowed to run a newspaper.
posted by schmod at 9:43 PM on November 17, 2012 [12 favorites]


Anyone should be allowed to run a newspaper. And we are allowed not to buy it.
posted by unSane at 9:46 PM on November 17, 2012 [45 favorites]


Oh holy shit this made me think "maybe I would consider seeing Snow White and the Huntsman" so like while I agree with him on everything else I found some of what he had to say profoundly upsetting and unsettling as well.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:51 PM on November 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


That email from the new owner was amazing. After the first paragraph or two, I expected him start ranting about purity of essence.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 9:54 PM on November 17, 2012 [25 favorites]


"maybe I would consider seeing Snow White and the Huntsman"

It was worth exactly the 1.99 I spent to see it on demand, pretty basic LOTRy fantasy fare with some nice art direction, Charlize Theron steals every scene she's in and gets all the best Crazy Magic Shit and yeah the movie is kinda her and Snow White having it out the Huntsmen is totally ancillary to anything going on. I did like it when White FUS RUH DAH'ed the thing trying to eat her, it's notable for being a female-leaded fantasy adventure movie but, eh it's not really anything you haven't seen before.
posted by The Whelk at 9:57 PM on November 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


Moral outrage or no, I wouldn't advise anyone sit through Snow White.
posted by thirtyeightdown at 9:57 PM on November 17, 2012 [5 favorites]


Bleh. The really irritating thing, to me, is that Snow White and the Huntsman is only feminist if you believe the movie's own press. It's not a portrayal of traditional gender relations, exactly - there's no actual on-screen romance, which was a nice change - but Snow White herself is a cipher and the Queen, while gloriously insane, really could have been a character that embodied a strong critique of beauty, power, and gender roles, and... wasn't. If you assume it's a major feminist picture because Kristen Stewart is in plate mail in the trailer... well, you've seen the trailer.

(It is a gorgeous movie, though.)
posted by restless_nomad at 9:59 PM on November 17, 2012 [19 favorites]


There's at least ten new sockpuppet opportunities in that email. Unbelievable, I mean we talk about the echo chamber in certain segments of political/social thought but to see it demonstrated on paper, just wow.
posted by arcticseal at 9:59 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


(And if I ever finish this goddamned draft, I still owe the poor suckers I dragged with me to see it some Prince Charming slash.)
posted by restless_nomad at 10:01 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


The character of the Queen being like, legit insane and bitter seemed lifted like, from another more interesting movie and yeah she gets all the best scenes and Theron is really fucking good at being scary but, like you've played Skyrim you've basically seen this movie, which leans hard on so many fantasy cliches it breaks them.

It is really fucking pretty however, again, everything I liked about it was the art direction.
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 PM on November 17, 2012


Wow, the writer took so long getting to the meat of this incident, and threw out so much bluster that felt like Jezebel style hyperbolic framing that I was honestly shocked when the e-mail was everything he claimed it was.

I'm not amazed that there exist people that still honestly feel that way, but I am shocked to find that there are still people who are unashamed enough to put those thoughts into words and send them out for other people to see.
posted by Jezztek at 10:04 PM on November 17, 2012 [33 favorites]


Niagara Falls Reporter...why would that sound so familiar to this Chicagoan, I thought? A quick Google search reminded me.

Today In Insanely Homophobic Statements From Small-Town Sports Columnists

So, yeah, the paper now seems to have a "viewpoint."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:12 PM on November 17, 2012 [7 favorites]


I expected him start ranting about purity of essence.

Seriously. It was right on the verge of being a straight-up parody of General Ripper's speech from Dr. Strangelove. "I can no longer sit back and allow feminist infiltration, feminist indoctrination, feminist subversion and the international feminist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."
posted by mhoye at 10:12 PM on November 17, 2012 [12 favorites]


The character of the Queen being like, legit insane and bitter seemed lifted like, from another more interesting movie

I see where that would be interesting and I always appreciate more in-depth studies of fairy tale characters (SERIOUSLY TRUE) but I also find this kind of thing really problematic in terms of female relationships within fairy tales; there's so frequently some bitter old woman set against a beautiful young woman just because she's young and beautiful and the older woman is bitter and old and I hate it. I see where it's better if she's actually crazy I guess but it still feels like a way to convey that women have a "best by" date that coincides with their sexual peak and that after that, man, bitches be crazy and why would you want any of that amiright?

I actually made a claymation movie based on this idea as a version of Sleeping Beauty. I've watched it since and it turns out it's super tedious and heavyhanded (not a shock) but a big part of the point of it was to have the wicked fairy be a man instead of a woman (this is available on YouTube in case anyone has seven minutes they desperately need to kill or feels a strong need to watch some amateur stop-motion video with a ridiculous voice over). His motivation was still kind of slight and he was mostly just a jerk but I wanted to have that difference. I've since considered doing a version of Rapunzel called "The Lonely Enchantress" but it seems like a lot of effort and there's no way I can pull it off during the school year.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:14 PM on November 17, 2012 [11 favorites]


I still owe the poor suckers I dragged with me to see it some Prince Charming slash.

This sounds way more interesting than the Snow White movie.
posted by immlass at 10:16 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


C'mon guys, it's just a man trying to protect his fluids.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:16 PM on November 17, 2012 [9 favorites]


I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 PM on November 17, 2012 [11 favorites]


I miss my old sled
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:23 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: some kind of mutiny of preverts
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:26 PM on November 17, 2012 [12 favorites]


Last week, I came across the whole "Men's Rights Movement" via an absolutely horrible blog written by a woman (no links, not worth it) - the kind of tripe that publisher wrote will probably be celebrated there.
posted by HopperFan at 10:27 PM on November 17, 2012


Moral turpitude isn't only bad, great for getting oil paint off dungarees.
posted by Abiezer at 10:38 PM on November 17, 2012 [6 favorites]


You can really tell the new publisher doesn't have a background in journalism. In that email, he takes way, way too long to write "I am ashamed of how my penis is shaped."
posted by R. Schlock at 10:49 PM on November 17, 2012 [10 favorites]


Whether or not Snow White and the Huntsmen is a good movie or not (whether or not anyone in particular would even bother to see it would probably depend on whether or not they liked things like Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland and the upcoming Hansel and Gretel starring, I shit you not, Jeremy Renner) is beside the point, as is, ultimately, the writer's taking a bit of time to get to the point. Not only is the new publisher apparently barely literate, he seems to be deeply gynephobic, not just misogynist; he seems to be sincerely afraid of being figuratively (if not literally) castrated by a minor fantasy film starring a couple of people who are much better known for other fantasy franchises. And not afraid to admit it, either.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:57 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


It was pretty long, by about half. Not terribly interested in the entire history of this newspaper, in this context.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:57 PM on November 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


From the letter from the publisher, in the way of suggesting new, more permissive markets for his movie reviewer-

they seem to like critiques from an artistic standpoint without a word about the moral turpitude seeping into the consciousness of young people who go to watch such things as snow white and get indoctrinated to the hollywood agenda of glorifying degenerate power women and promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.

therefore

metafilter: hyena-like men, cum eunuchs

you're fucking welcome
posted by hap_hazard at 11:01 PM on November 17, 2012 [7 favorites]


Hansel and Gretel starring, I shit you not, Jeremy Renner

Clint your hair dye no I cannot gah why can't you sort out your hair Renner yes I'll see it I have a problem
posted by The Whelk at 11:02 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


There's a fascinating story in there, but it's buried in waffle.
posted by quarsan at 11:04 PM on November 17, 2012 [27 favorites]


/Gives thanks to Dam Savage and The Stranger.
posted by Artw at 11:04 PM on November 17, 2012


I see where it's better if she's actually crazy I guess but it still feels like a way to convey that women have a "best by" date that coincides with their sexual peak and that after that, man, bitches be crazy and why would you want any of that amiright?

Possibly, but one of the very very interesting things that underlies Theron's queen is the backstory, hinted at in a series of flashbacks and conversations throughout the movie. She is the victim of war, her people were killed, and her mother's dying legacy IIRC was a spell that allowed Theron's young character to survive. She grew up a hardened survivor, alongside her brother, and much of the "evil" that she does in destroying Snow White's father's kingdom is, in her eyes, just karma. She's strong enough now to exact vengeance on the kingdoms and the rulers guilty of their own evil and injustice.

That arc felt a bit different than "bitches be crazy" -- more like, "cycles of violence be cyclical."
posted by verb at 11:05 PM on November 17, 2012 [19 favorites]


Hansel and Gretel

I so wanted this to be about the Zoolander character. Renner, what are you thinking??
posted by orrnyereg at 11:07 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Headhunters is a fantastic thriller that's well worth watching (though you should probably go in blind).
posted by edeezy at 11:07 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


A crazy editor goes up against a horrible writer. Everyone loses.
posted by LarryC at 11:08 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


SWatH was good, but frustrating. Charlize out acted everyone, to the extent that i forget who played Snow White. You know, whatshername.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:21 PM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


In watching Snow White and the Huntsman, about fifteen minutes in, the better half and I started counting the stolen tropes from other movies and books. Forty-one. I don't watch a lot of western movies so perhaps this has become the norm but I was rather astounded. I even watched the credits to see if there was a screenwriter credit for "Stealing McStealerPerson" but I was sadly disappointed.

As far as this critic's story, he's in need of an editor. Too long by half.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 11:21 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


The full title is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. And here is the trailer.

It is clear that the only way to prevent Jeremy Renner from making an acting choice like this again is for me to have a looooooooong one-on-one meeting with him. I'm willing to do that. You know, for the good of... cinema.
posted by argonauta at 11:26 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Basically, we kidnap him and talk about his hair.
posted by The Whelk at 11:39 PM on November 17, 2012 [8 favorites]


I guess I have to see this now, since a) one couldn't ask for a better rec than the one offered by the "I'll-be-in-my-bunker" publisher guy, and b) I'm a big fan of Charlize Theron, so even if this is SWatH starring Charlize Theron and Charlize Theron, with a special guest appearance by Charlize Theron, I could tolerate that. And I like the pretty things, so if whelk liked the art direction and restless_nomad says it's gorgeous, that's nice too.
posted by taz at 11:53 PM on November 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Snow White and the Huntsmen is a terrible film... terribly entertaining that is! No, just kidding it's really quite bad. Krull was much better, and yes, I really do think Krull is the movie you have to compare it to.

Theron is great in SWatH, btw. She's not afraid to look ugly and really gives it her all. The guy from Thor is pretty much Thor, and I don't think he even gets a name other than "Huntsman". Kristen Stewart looks constipated as usual, and try not to think about how she was left to grow up all alone in a tower and doesn't speak like Jodie Foster in Nell. Then you've actually got 7 dwarves played by reasonably good actors, but the movie tries, and fails, to use every perspective trick that Peter Jackson perfected for LotR. And the headshop poster "Sanctuary" scene! Dont get me started on that. One thing you can say for sure about SWatH is that a lot of digital effects houses got paid. You'll probably want an insulin shot after watching it.

But there really isn't any "beta male" stuff in it, unless you count the near-albino villain. But boy howdy, that's a Francis E Dec-worthy screed from that new publisher!
posted by Catblack at 12:09 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I tried to watch it on the plane but it just seemed so heavy and grim in a really tedious way so I played Jetpack Joyride on my phone instead
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:10 AM on November 18, 2012


IT WAS THEN THAT DARK CLOUDS BEGAN TO GATHER

(insert picture of dark clouds, gathering)
posted by Sebmojo at 12:17 AM on November 18, 2012 [33 favorites]


Guess Dave Sim got a new gig...
posted by Joseph Gurl at 12:56 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Real men capitalize first-person pronouns.
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 1:02 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


That was the most long winded article I"ve read in ages. He's a professional writer?
posted by mary8nne at 1:13 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sandusky no fluke.
posted by telstar at 1:14 AM on November 18, 2012


Traditional masculinity lashes out, screams, maddened with fear.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:19 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


Traditional masculinity lashes out, screams, maddened with fear.

MRM slashfic.

Go.
posted by R. Schlock at 1:24 AM on November 18, 2012 [5 favorites]


This, and the recent Tony Harris rant, remind me of this gem by Gail Simone.
posted by Catch at 1:55 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


What is a cum eunuch?
posted by fullerine at 1:56 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


Would be twenty dollars, same as in... but we've slashed a bit off for you.
posted by Abiezer at 2:03 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


What is a cum eunuch?

One level below cum laude.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:08 AM on November 18, 2012 [26 favorites]


I thought this was quite a nice article.
Sure, it rambled a bit, but it set the scene, drew me in, and was probably read in my head by some sort of folksy NPR style ramble-rant of which I enjoy.

And it said more, so much more, than the surface pretty about Coal Black and the Leghunter.

Haters gonna hate, journos gonna weep.
posted by Mezentian at 2:12 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I don't actually recognise the crude conception of manliness haltingly adumbrated there as the traditional one. Gentlemanliness, with all its imperfections, was complex and not a matter of crude domination.
posted by Segundus at 2:46 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Good gracious, that was terribly written. But an awful story.
posted by bink at 2:46 AM on November 18, 2012


Anyone should be allowed to run a newspaper. And we are allowed not to buy it.

If only either of those statements were true about TV media outlets.
posted by DU at 2:47 AM on November 18, 2012


I guess what I don't understand , according to that novel he wrote before he got to the meat of the article, is that, during all that time of observing the downfall of the organization, the destruction of what he loved, he just continued sending in his reviews and supporting something he had no respect for. I'm not sure he has any room to complain, nor should he have been surprised....
posted by HuronBob at 3:12 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Anyone should be allowed to run a newspaper. And we are allowed not to buy it.

Sometimes even not buying it isn't enough. There's a local weekly here that's nothing but pure hatred and ignorance dipped in a candy coating of community reporting. It's managed to supplant other papers because it's distributed for free by local businesses that are either willingly complicit in spreading such bile or too dumb to read past the first page.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 3:16 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


That was the most long winded article I"ve read in ages. He's a professional writer?

Yeah, it could really use some editing. Unfortunately…
posted by TedW at 3:48 AM on November 18, 2012 [7 favorites]


Anyone should be allowed to run a newspaper. And we are allowed not to buy it.

I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to run a newspaper where you fire large portions of your staff because they happen to be female, though, or where you create such a hostile environment that they quit.
posted by NoraReed at 3:49 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


So, about this guy. According to the newspaper's masthead*, the "Frank" in question is one Frank Parlato. And hey, Parlato has a website. An awful, awful website. Clearly self-designed. Color scheme is eye-bustingly awful, and the page itself is largely broken. Anyway.

So my first thought was "Dammit, this guy is another ignorant Evangelical type who doesn't understand his own limitations." But you know what? I think I'm wrong about that.

Parlato's website includes a link to a page he made dedicated to Swami Vivekananda, the Indian Hindu monk credited with the revival of Hinduism in the late nineteenth century and a major force for Indian nationalism. And hey, the Reporter is running pieces by Vivekananda, so that's definitely what's going on.

Huh?

And Parlato is apparently a real estate developer. Big time. He's got a site devoted to it, and there's been some controversy about some of his projects.

So basically, I have no freaking clue what this guy's deal is. There's stuff out there which makes me doubt that he's a Christian of any stripe, as the kinds of Christian who tend to say things like this tend not to be highly interested in Hindu monks. I really have no idea where this guy's getting his stuff.

*Bonus hilarity: the headline as of the moment of this writing is "Interview with Three Prostitutes."
posted by valkyryn at 4:10 AM on November 18, 2012 [9 favorites]


during all that time of observing the downfall of the organization, the destruction of what he loved, he just continued sending in his reviews and supporting something he had no respect for.

I know! There are so many jobs just going begging in that field right now!
posted by Wolof at 4:18 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


Whatever- I'm sure Frank Parlato loved 300. Why doesn't this guy just write more reviews of good masculine films like that one?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:26 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


This letter fails the Bechdel Test.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:39 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


This guy wasn't writing a neat, short summary of a nasty email he received. The post is a full account of his thinking that led to his leaving an old job and moving to a new job, presumably directed to friends, family, and fans. That's why it's so long, and its length is as appropriate as he means it to be.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 4:50 AM on November 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


"I know! There are so many jobs just going begging in that field right now!"

I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure that the lack of jobs in the field justifies supporting , through the contribution of content, a publication which the author felt was morally bankrupt.
posted by HuronBob at 4:59 AM on November 18, 2012


Typical eunuch hyena-man behavior!
posted by fleacircus at 5:04 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well, just find another job, eh? I'm sure Mary Poppins will fix it.
posted by Wolof at 5:06 AM on November 18, 2012


There's a slow-clap-inducing takedown of "creepy hollywood mores" and "unmanly perfidious creeps" waiting to be written, but this isn't it. This reads like the operator of a revenge porn website learned a few SAT words and had a half-hearted religious conversion.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:11 AM on November 18, 2012


I believe every line of that byline Frank Parlato "Interview With Three Prostitutes" to be fabricated from whole cloth. Just a hunch.
posted by ook at 5:19 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


So basically, I have no freaking clue what this guy's deal is. There's stuff out there which makes me doubt that he's a Christian of any stripe, as the kinds of Christian who tend to say things like this tend not to be highly interested in Hindu monks. I really have no idea where this guy's getting his stuff.

It seems that sometimes men of a certain age just seem to end up this way. I was sitting in a Tim Hortons yesterday morning when a man and (I presume) his mother sat at a table near mine. The man appeared to be in early sixties and very much a hippy - long hair, knit coat and so on. I then had the misfortune of overhearing him loudly proclaiming his views on various matters to his mother - women don't need to work; there's nothing wrong with staying at home; too poor to stay at home... eugenics certainly had some merits; kids these days. He was certainly not the stereotypical conservative; he never once said anything racist or homophobic. He definitely had a major problem with women though. I chalked it up to a generational thing, although the eugenics thing was a surprise.
posted by jamincan at 5:20 AM on November 18, 2012


I know! There are so many jobs just going begging in that field right now!

"I have moved on to a new outlet, a popular website that covers news and culture in Buffalo called WNYMedia.net. Thankfully I've been reviewing on the radio and for the off-beat Buffalo Alternative Press website. It will be good to have a regular place to write my reviews. I relish the comfort of knowing this fact. My first piece will appear soon."

So, yeah, jobs may not be going begging, but Calleri obviously found another gig (or two or three). Paid or not, he doesn't say.
posted by blucevalo at 5:21 AM on November 18, 2012


the male as lesser in courage strength and power than the female.

it may be ok for some but it is not my kind of manliness.


Oh sweetie, I feel bad for how you never got over all those beatings you took at school for being so shite at English. You just carry on overcompensating, dear. We'll try not to laugh.
posted by Decani at 5:25 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I believe every line of that byline Frank Parlato "Interview With Three Prostitutes" to be fabricated from whole cloth. Just a hunch.

Or he was cruisin' for hookers, got sprung, pulled a "don't you know WHO I AM", and needed to justify it with a story.

But his technique is ... unique. To the untrained eye, it might look like journalism....
posted by Mezentian at 5:42 AM on November 18, 2012


My favourite so far from the paper is the tale of the owner of the Evel Knieval museum and Queen Elizabeth II, over here.
posted by quarsan at 5:45 AM on November 18, 2012


Does advertising in the Niagara Falls Reporter really work?
That is a question that an enterprising reporter like myself wants to know.
So I asked George Edwards of George Edwards Jewelers on 2131 Sawyer Drive in Niagara Falls. After all, he ought to know.
Edwards advertises in the Reporter.
He also has long experience in his business – which is jewelry.


Jesus.
posted by Mezentian at 5:47 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


unsurprisingly, frank parlato he has a deeplee compellingly websight phoned manmaking.com
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:48 AM on November 18, 2012


If that post proved anything it is that Michael Calleri seriously needs an editor and is also a drama queen. While not defending the sentiments in the boss man's email, I do have questions about the publication of what would have been intended as a private communication, without the sender's permission. Nobody seems too concerned with the ethics of that.

Also, news flash: Mysoginists exist and one may even be your boss.
posted by spock at 5:49 AM on November 18, 2012


If valkryn had not let the cat out of the bag, I would have gone away thinking that the publisher's name was Frank Manlyman, since the author neglected to mention that minor bit of information. Maybe that's the kind of thing that happens when a Professional Journalist degenerates into a hyena-man cum eunuch.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:58 AM on November 18, 2012


Few people are truly naive, least of all myself.

Here we have a thread full of truly unbelievable comments, and yet if you RTFA there are just so many more. MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF STARS!
posted by dubold at 5:58 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is one of the ad things on the right. I've been reading the paper in awe, but seeing that, and please doo look at if full size for all its glory, is where I began gibbering.
posted by quarsan at 6:07 AM on November 18, 2012 [8 favorites]


I apologise, but one more. I've found our film critic's column. Here's the latest one I could find.

Yeah. I'd fire him.
posted by quarsan at 6:20 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Here's his review of '300'.

I don't think he understood the concept of taking a graphic novel to the screen... and there was nowhere near enough appreciation of manhood!
posted by HuronBob at 6:32 AM on November 18, 2012


I found the contrast between his description of life in Paris watching movies with other filmlovers (and then phoning in, live from Paris, on Buffalo radio!) with the troglodyte antics of his boorish new boss to be hilarious, actually.
posted by KokuRyu at 6:37 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


However, the hilarilousness ended when the publisher fired or intimidated all the women.
posted by KokuRyu at 6:38 AM on November 18, 2012


★★☆☆☆
posted by orme at 6:54 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


...promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.

There's three potential band names in there.
posted by Brian B. at 7:01 AM on November 18, 2012 [7 favorites]


Little did I know that the hammer was about to fall...


Augh, the article was even worse than the letter. The letter was just loopy old man rambling, but the article? The article was... well, I remember when I was about twelve and I read a lot of books and I really, really wanted everyone to know how smart I was because I knew so many words and gosh I was justsoclever. Once, we had an assignment where we had to write a one-sentence summary of a story and mine was about two paragraphs long and stylistically identical to this article.

We had to read them out to the class. Little did I know that the class's "wow" was not a sound of admiration; I thought it meant I'd written something brilliant.

So yeah, anyways... wow. Just wow.
posted by windykites at 7:03 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Few people are truly naive, least of all myself.

A good editor could have trimmed the whole article down to this sentence. And then rejected it.
posted by sneebler at 7:13 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


It may be a derail, but I just want to know what a postvert is?
posted by eviemath at 7:16 AM on November 18, 2012


Publisher Rantface has deep thoughts on Race and ManlyManosity, too. (Different site, same rambling cuckoo inanity.)
posted by taz at 7:17 AM on November 18, 2012


"snow white and the huntsman is trash. moral garbage. a lot of fuzzy feminist thinking and pandering to creepy hollywood mores produced by metrosexual imbeciles."

Well, I agree with the first part.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:24 AM on November 18, 2012


Seemed a bit weird to me, in the context of the overall article, that the author praises another person by saying that he is "in the Charles Bukowski mold".

Anyway, if anyone enjoyed looking at the ad that quarsan linked to, be sure to go to the website that's listed on the ad.
posted by Flunkie at 7:30 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


There is a lot to this story; there is the saga of a beloved alternative rag bought up a cretin, there is a movie reviewer who never made it to the big time because he is too enthralled with his own word count, and there is also the hilarious notion that Hollywood is a single entity that has a hidden agenda, in this case emasculating their male viewers. Well, well. Lots to ponder. But I must close with a few choice words: unmanly perfidious creeps, a phrase begging to be turned into a bedtime story. It has a lovely cadence if you say it out loud.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:34 AM on November 18, 2012 [5 favorites]


That arc felt a bit different than "bitches be crazy" -- more like, "cycles of violence be cyclical."

That's really interesting and I appreciate you making that point; that's definitely a cool and different way to represent the character/relationship. Thanks!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:01 AM on November 18, 2012


There is, unfortunately, a not-insignificant number of people who think the goal of feminists is to "feminize" everything.

It's like these people's fundamental misunderstanding of feminism is merely an extension of their fundamental misunderstanding of how suffixes work.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:11 AM on November 18, 2012 [5 favorites]


God damn it you guys.

1) Obviously I just skipped to the end to read the crazy stupid man's crazy stupid letter. Who in the world would actually read through 7,384 words of bloviation?
2) Everyone here already said all the things I wanted to say about SW&tH.

>=|
posted by kavasa at 8:13 AM on November 18, 2012


So, anyway, do people still say metrosexual?
posted by Artw at 8:17 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Only Europeans. So, me. But then I'm very passé anyway.
posted by arcticseal at 8:19 AM on November 18, 2012


The really good stuff is in the archives of Manmaking.
posted by steinsaltz at 8:20 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Real men capitalize first-person pronouns.
posted by Jonathan Livengood


That's actually true. Most of the non-capitalizing men I've known are making some kind of point about not presuming their own importance.

The New York Press had (has?) a right-wing publisher, and it lent drama in the back and forth jabs with the left-leaning writers. But then it withered up and effectively died, mainly because they didn't pay much anymore.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:21 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Agree about the writing. Ugh, I couldn't get through it even though it was an interesting story at heart. Paid by the word much?
posted by spitbull at 8:37 AM on November 18, 2012


From Frank Parlato's manmaking.com archives.

Are you unmanly, cowardly, weak? This site may help you to be strong, to preserve the manly fire within, to look upward, to hold your breath, and gain strength, to go out into the world with absolute courage, to shut off that filthy television set which promotes effiminate behavior, to stop looking inordinately at the blood and pus filled body of woman with greedy, weak and sickening lustful eyes and be a man, a giver of strength to one and all. Be chaste and come and rule nature, inner and outer.

Now, I'm not exactly a touchy-feely type of guy, but dude should've spent all that time he's spent trying to emulate John Wayne in a therapist's office trying to figure out what his problem with women is, because holy shit.
posted by dortmunder at 8:48 AM on November 18, 2012 [10 favorites]


The really good stuff is in the archives of Manmaking.

"When you are feeling hen-pecked or pussy whipped try growing a beard. That should help."
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 8:49 AM on November 18, 2012


I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to run a newspaper where you fire large portions of your staff because they happen to be female, though, or where you create such a hostile environment that they quit.

Yeah, when he mentioned that "both women refused to go into detail about what was going on," I wondered "on the advice of their attorney?"
posted by salvia at 8:58 AM on November 18, 2012


n watching Snow White and the Huntsman, about fifteen minutes in, the better half and I started counting the stolen tropes from other movies and books. Forty-one. I don't watch a lot of western movies so perhaps this has become the norm but I was rather astounded. I even watched the credits to see if there was a screenwriter credit for "Stealing McStealerPerson" but I was sadly disappointed.

I have to point out what tvtropes says about tropes: "Tropes are devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members' minds and expectations. On the whole, tropes are not clichés. The word clichéd means "stereotyped and trite." In other words, dull and uninteresting."

Taking and using a crap load of tropes isn't in itself a bad thing, it sounds like the movie used more cliches. Cabin in the Woods used a lot of tropes of horror films, but made them work. I haven't seen this movie, but it sounds like there was a much better movie hiding in there somewhere, but wasn't let out to play.

This article is a whole other world of cliches. ;)
posted by usagizero at 9:03 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


What's their take on musking?
posted by Artw at 9:06 AM on November 18, 2012


Wow, "Be chaste and come and rule nature".
Women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.
posted by Flunkie at 9:07 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Inverted pyramid with deep basement.
posted by kengraham at 9:25 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


just loopy old man rambling

Watch it with the easy slurs, youngster. What the fuck is "old man writing"?


Also, horrible, horrible writing about an interesting topic.
posted by Hobgoblin at 9:50 AM on November 18, 2012


Goodness, people - have our attention spans shriveled so badly that we can't even handle what amounts to an informal blog post without breaking out in curses and insults? 3200 words by my word processor's guesstimate, and that includes the editor's screed. The reviewer had some backstory to tell, showing why it wasn't just a psychopathic misogynist writing an email that needed exposing, but also the horrid transformation of the Reporter from popular alternative paper to whatever the hell it is now.

It wasn't Literature, but this is the fucking Internet.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:02 AM on November 18, 2012 [13 favorites]


Horrible article. I too skipped to the "money shot." And besides, isn't it pretty unprofessional to post your bosses email? It's not like a mediocre movie reviewer at a little regional paper has tenure or is guaranteed his opportunity to write reviews of stupid Hollywood trash. We didn't need a fucking epic whine-fest about his shitty boss.
posted by ReeMonster at 10:02 AM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


This whole thing is like: "A shit writer working for a shit publisher ends up no longer working for the publisher, but not for the reason you'd think!"

Reading some of Calleri's reviews linked to upthread, I almost wonder if the reason that he didn't lose his job sooner is because the publisher had no journalism experience and didn't recognize how truly terrible Calleri's writing is.
posted by asnider at 10:10 AM on November 18, 2012


Wow. Digging even just a little bit into the doings of the misogynistic editor in question suggests that he may have a far worse reputation as a real estate developer (among other things) than as a newspaperman. I mean, seriously, google it up, especially if you live in Western New York, because oh my god you guys. It's just completely, mind-bogglingly bananas.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:10 AM on November 18, 2012


It wasn't Literature, but this is the fucking Internet.

And therefore poor writing is to be esteemed?
posted by asnider at 10:11 AM on November 18, 2012


Really the best part of SWatH was watching KStew and Charlize Theron flirting relentlessly with one another during all the press stuff while Chris Hemsworth looked on with bemused delight.
posted by elizardbits at 10:20 AM on November 18, 2012


...promoting as natural the weakling, hyena -like men, cum eunuchs.

There's three potential band names in there.


Three? There's easily six hardcore, emo or new weird americana band names there:

Promoting As Natural
Natural The Weakling
The Weakling Hyena
Hyena-like Men
Men-cum-Eunuchs
Cum Eunuchs
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:40 AM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


The gnashing and wailing about how offensively horrible the author's writing is is really a bit weird. I mean, I agree it's not great writing, but Jesus, who cares? Or at the very least, who cares so damn much that half the thread has to become one-upsmanship about the degree to which we each think it approaches the worst thing ever?
It wasn't Literature, but this is the fucking Internet.
And therefore poor writing is to be esteemed?
There's a wide ground between "esteemed" and "not treated as if it's the cause of physical pain".
Horrible article. I too skipped to the "money shot." And besides, isn't it pretty unprofessional to post your bosses email? It's not like a mediocre movie reviewer at a little regional paper has tenure or is guaranteed his opportunity to write reviews of stupid Hollywood trash. We didn't need a fucking epic whine-fest about his shitty boss.
If you hadn't "skipped to the money shot", perhaps you might have noticed that it's about his ex-boss. I agree to some degree at least with the broader point about publishing emails that were sent to you (presumably) without permission, but concern about "tenure" has nothing to do with it.
posted by Flunkie at 10:48 AM on November 18, 2012 [6 favorites]


Wait, does this loon actually quote Dr. Strangelove?
posted by Brocktoon at 10:54 AM on November 18, 2012


Having lived in Niagara Falls as a kid, I don't blame Mike Hudson for fleeing to southern Cal at all. Also, insane publisher is insane, natch.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:29 AM on November 18, 2012


No, hobgoblin! "Loopy old man writing" is identified by the subject matter and presentation, not by the actual age or gender of the writer. It's a stylistic constraint, and meets the following criteria:

-Though the message of the piece can be inferred by what has been written, the author's use of language must be somewhat or largely nonsensical;

-The peice must constantly teeter on the brink of incoherent ranting without actually becoming incoherent;

-The peice must indicate the author's desire to preserve or recreate an idealized, yet vague notion of a nonexistant past. It must be an expression of the author's ongoing struggle to make sense of an increasingly unfamiliar and unwelcoming world by erecting defenses against contrived foes, which serve as a placeholder for the author's ever-increasing sense of fear, alienation and irrelevance-

Augh. I started this as a joke but now I actually just feel really bad for the guy. People make me sad sometimes. I want to retract all my earlier snark and just say that shit, man, they are probably just both doing their best to make sense of a confusing and largely hostile world, and it's not the way that I would do it, but everyone's different I guess, and also it's easy to make fun of the article writer but he at least gets shit published which is more than I've done, and I guess we all want to feel significant at the end of the day.

Um. I-I think I need to go for a time out and reflect on my attitude.
posted by windykites at 11:29 AM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Really the best part of SWatH was watching KStew and Charlize Theron flirting relentlessly with one another during all the press stuff while Chris Hemsworth looked on with bemused delight.

And the saddest part is that my friends, after seeing the movie, were absolutely against Snow White/Queen slash. Sigh.
posted by restless_nomad at 11:47 AM on November 18, 2012


Wut? That's like, half the movie.
posted by The Whelk at 12:18 PM on November 18, 2012


This guy fired two women, probably simply for being women. He may be a loopy old man, but he is also an employer, and isn't just some crank sitting in his house ranting at the walls. The writing of this piece was bad, and so was the movie, but I'm sad that those things are the overwhelming focus of this thread, when a very real wrong was committed here.
posted by imalaowai at 1:28 PM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Parlato's "Hyena Men" thing seems to come from a story he tells of a trip to the zoo and his resulting Deep Insightful Thoughts: The Lion And The Hyena.
Earlier that day, I had seen hyenas in a pen where females rule. With final yelp they nip their weaker mates and bloody them. In the kingdom of the lion, there is no yelping. Nor does he tremble at noises.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:08 PM on November 18, 2012


The proper term is Gnoll or Flind. Hyena-men is probably pretty racist.
posted by Artw at 2:17 PM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


With all this talk of Hyena Men, has anyone checked on Principle Flutie?
posted by Mezentian at 2:22 PM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I do suspect any time spent watching SWatH would be better spent re-reading Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.
posted by Artw at 2:28 PM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Earlier that day, I had seen hyenas in a pen where females rule. With final yelp they nip their weaker mates and bloody them. In the kingdom of the lion, there is no yelping. Nor does he tremble at noises.

Please, nobody hip this guy to the pseudopenis.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:28 PM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I do suspect any time spent watching SWatH would be better spent re-reading Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.

Rereading that is a better use of time than any number of things, actually.
posted by restless_nomad at 2:52 PM on November 18, 2012


usagizero: Taking and using a crap load of tropes isn't in itself a bad thing

Sport our tropes?
posted by sneebler at 3:36 PM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


to stop looking inordinately at the blood and pus filled body of woman

1) what
2) the
3) crap
posted by en forme de poire at 4:39 PM on November 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I mean Jesus this guy is basically Nice Pete from Achewood
posted by en forme de poire at 4:42 PM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is suspicious locked man-sized metal boxes in the basement level.
posted by The Whelk at 4:53 PM on November 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Logorrhea isn't a crime, but firing women because of your fucked up men's rights bullshit is.
posted by benzenedream at 5:41 PM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


to stop looking inordinately at the blood and pus filled body of woman

1) what
2) the
3) crap


I cannot believe I am going to do this.

Women are, indeed, filled with blood and pus, and I offer as proof of this stunning biological fact, the fan fiction classics of ComicsNix, specifically Wolverine, Cyclops and Jean Grey in "Day of reckoning".

Y'all may gain some insight into the depraved mind of a disturbed individual who understands "biology". But, I must provide some sort of trigger warning for, well, pretty much everything.
posted by Mezentian at 6:07 PM on November 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Somehow I really, really want to tell Mr. Parlato about manties just to see what he'd do.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:31 PM on November 18, 2012


Don't forget "the bro" or "the manseirre".
posted by Mezentian at 7:20 PM on November 18, 2012


I see what you did there.
posted by ikahime at 9:26 AM on November 19, 2012


Theron is great in SWatH, btw. She's not afraid to look ugly and really gives it her all.

I think we pretty much figured that out after Monster and North Country.
posted by e1c at 11:28 AM on November 20, 2012


Mr. Partato (The Boss) has responded.
posted by spock at 3:23 PM on November 20, 2012


From the response "I did not say that women should have lesser courage or true, inner strength than a man. I merely said I do not have an interest in seeing men depicted as weaker, dumber, more cowardly or lower than women. In other words, no male bashing. And, consequently, no female bashing."

I do so love his attempt to bail himself out. Depicting a male character as less intelligent than a female character it isn't inherently "male bashing." It could be, but of course it depends on the film and the context. But in addition, "no male bashing" does NOT de facto equal "no female bashing." And he thinks the other guy has a problem with reasoning?

"I mean who but a moron would want his children watching the kind of filth and violence shown (and gleefully reviewed) by Hollywood every day?" Ah the ever popular "But what of the children?" card. So film reviewers should only confine themselves to kid appropriate movies? Good luck with that.
posted by miss-lapin at 3:51 PM on November 20, 2012


Mr. Partato
                .-"'"-.
               |       |  
             (`-._____.-')
          ..  `-._____.-'  ..
        .', :./'.== ==.`\.: ,`.
       : (  :   ___ ___   :  ) ;
       '._.:    |0| |0|    :._.'
          /     `-'_`-'     \
        _.|       / \       |._
      .'.-|      (   )      |-.`.
     //'  |  .-"`"`-'"`"-.  |  `\\ 
    ||    |  `~":-...-:"~`  |    ||
    ||     \.    `---'    ./     ||
    ||       '-._     _.-'       ||
   /  \       _/ `~:~` \_       /  \
  ||||\)   .-'    / \    `-.   (/||||
  \|||    (`.___.')-(`.___.')    |||/
   '"'     `-----'   `-----'     '"'

posted by Sys Rq at 7:25 PM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


Thanks to this newspaper, Calleri copped a lot of free movies and free DVD’s from movie studios

*twitch*
posted by Mezentian at 8:10 PM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


You know, Mr. Partato sure spends a lot of time with hookers and drug dealers.
And gets on really well with them.

My common sense is tingling.
posted by Mezentian at 2:15 PM on November 21, 2012


No mention of hyena cum eunuchs in the followup?
posted by benzenedream at 2:57 PM on November 24, 2012


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