LUNCH: The Terror Within

November 19, 2012 1:53 PM

3 month old baby red panda surprised while eating.

That's it. That's the whole thing.

posted by elizardbits (62 comments total)

Post delivers.
posted by clockworkjoe at 1:54 PM on November 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

The face at 0:23 is also the face I make when I think someone's gonna give me food
posted by Greg Nog at 1:55 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

INSIED: Y U NO MOAR?
posted by mhoye at 1:55 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

NO SNEEZLES??
posted by carter at 1:59 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

Whatever, red pandas are jerks anyway.
posted by griphus at 2:00 PM on November 19, 2012 [9 favorites]

Better than expected.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 2:00 PM on November 19, 2012

Otters Chasing A Butterfly
posted by boo_radley at 2:01 PM on November 19, 2012 [6 favorites]

Now that's what I call a pander bear.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:01 PM on November 19, 2012 [3 favorites]

I kind of feel like the panda's reaction is what elizardbits does when there's a spider link.
posted by flaterik at 2:04 PM on November 19, 2012 [17 favorites]

I love how this post totally glosses over the fact that I've never seen a red panda before.

They kind of look like a cross between panda, squirrel and raccoon!
posted by phaedon at 2:06 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

man, I would do just about anything to have a red panda as a pet.
posted by xbonesgt at 2:07 PM on November 19, 2012 [11 favorites]

Is it the panda at the bowl that makes the Jabba-the-Hutt noises in response to the other one's frenzied güiro scratching?
posted by invitapriore at 2:11 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I like how the other panda tries to soothe the frightened one by stepping on it.
posted by orme at 2:13 PM on November 19, 2012 [9 favorites]

One of these, named Babu, escaped from the local nature park near where I used to live and spent four days on the loose living it up. I really wanted to find it. And keep it. But I didn't do either. My whole life is now sad.
posted by srboisvert at 2:16 PM on November 19, 2012 [7 favorites]

Whatever, red pandas are jerks anyway.

If you think I wouldn't gladly put up with nighttime panda punches to the face, you've severely underestimated my panda desires.
posted by orme at 2:17 PM on November 19, 2012 [18 favorites]

a gif of this is on mlkshk, but i must have not saved it to my shk, because i can't find it. so flipping cute!
posted by nadawi at 2:19 PM on November 19, 2012

I love how this post totally glosses over the fact that I've never seen a red panda before.

They kind of look like a cross between panda, squirrel and raccoon!

But you know computers, right? Red Pandas are also known as firefoxes.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 2:19 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

These guys are the latest stars at the local zoo. And they're also shilling for the phone company.

It truly is the season of the Red Panda.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:35 PM on November 19, 2012

patiently waiting for the animated gif
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:40 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

DID SOMEONE SAY GIF

01

02
posted by elizardbits at 2:41 PM on November 19, 2012 [25 favorites]

You know this panda only acts like that because it has a brain disease and you are all bad for laughing at it
posted by shakespeherian at 2:43 PM on November 19, 2012 [14 favorites]

shakes is a ruiner

he ruins things
posted by elizardbits at 2:44 PM on November 19, 2012

I grew up with a mild red panda obsession that popped into an active psychosis whenever I went to the zoo. You see, every red panda exhibit I visited, I never saw the red panda. The dang things were always, always, hidden. I'd search and search and search, but nary a red pandy to be spotted.

Then I went to the National Zoo, for the second time, and to convenience me, I'm sure, they put the red panda in an enclosure without trees. The poor things had a big rock like thing to lay upon. Finally without the benefits of foliage to hide, I saw it.

I'm over them now. Well.

After seeing that video, not quite. Sweet Panda!
posted by Atreides at 2:55 PM on November 19, 2012

You know this panda only acts like that because it has a brain disease and you are all bad for laughing at it

red pandas are fuzzy and adorable therefore u r wrong. QED
posted by juv3nal at 2:56 PM on November 19, 2012

The red pandas were pretty much the only animals that seemed reasonably content with their lot at the Kunming zoo, although the inhabitants of the hellish monkey pit did technically seem to be enjoying themselves.
posted by elizardbits at 3:01 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

Red Pandas are Raccoons with a makeover and good PR.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:02 PM on November 19, 2012 [18 favorites]

I like how the other panda tries to soothe the frightened one by stepping on it.

That's what I saw happening too.
posted by sweetkid at 3:04 PM on November 19, 2012

I thought the first small startle was the point of the video and was totally unprepared for the total meltdown. I think it scared me almost as bad as the panda.

I don't think I've ever seen a red panda before either. They are full of cute!
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 3:41 PM on November 19, 2012

Whats the big deal here again?

It's obvious the panda was running out of energy and simply needed re-winding.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:42 PM on November 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

A friend of mine worked at the central park zoo. She told me the littler kids always thought red pandas were cats and were always asking why there were cats that lived in the zoo.I really wanted her to make up a story about zoo cats, families of cats that did did not live in apartments with people like normal cats but instead liked living in the zoo, in order to keep the other animals company. Unfortunately, she thought honesty trumped adorable stories.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:49 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

I... don't get it. I mean, sure, it's adorable, but how is that a reasonable evolutionary reaction to have? Are these red FAINTING pandas or what?
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:18 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

That panda is a drama panda.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:36 PM on November 19, 2012 [8 favorites]

A Shimura Zoo episode where Becky lives in a room with Red Pandas for a couple of days is one of my favorite things. It starts getting funny at about 2:30 in. It's hard to use chopsticks around creatures that eat bamboo.
posted by Blue Meanie at 4:40 PM on November 19, 2012

In case anybody was thinking about pet red pandas, red pandas scent mark (anal scent glands) and urine wash to mark their territory. And have sharp claws. And eat 11 pounds of vegetation a day, but only have a 2-4 hour gut passage rate, so they probably excrete 11 pounds of red panda shit a day. And they're threatened, population decreasing, due in part to hunting for the pet trade.
posted by ChuraChura at 4:44 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

Oh I see Griphus found a link to a shorter version, never mind.
posted by Blue Meanie at 4:48 PM on November 19, 2012

Oh my god, I just ... the poor thing! I can't stop laughing.
posted by Occula at 4:49 PM on November 19, 2012

Note that ChuraChura is a ruiner, too.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:51 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

I think I've made similar noises when someone's nearly stepped on me in big ugly rubber boots.
posted by Currer Belfry at 5:04 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

Once native to my neck of the woods:

As far as biologists know, red pandas only exist today in the region around the Himalayas. However, a red panda tooth, estimated to be around 4 to 7 million years old, was recently found in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Tennessee.

Steve Wallace, the curator for the East Tennessee Natural History Museum located in Gray, Tenn., said he and his team have unearthed evidence of giant turtles, saber-toothed cats and pot-bellied rhinos at the Gray Fossil site, but were not expecting to dig up an ancient red panda tooth.

Since it was discovered, red panda bones have become common at the site. Wallace said the ancient Tennessee “firefox” was probably much larger, about the size of a mountain lion, and thrived in the thick forests once found in that part of the world.

ABC
posted by maggieb at 5:27 PM on November 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

Best [More inside] link of all time.
posted by braksandwich at 5:34 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have panda want so bad.
posted by roboton666 at 5:42 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ah yes, the rare GACKGACKGACK Pokemon. This one appears to have evolved, too.
posted by Brocktoon at 5:46 PM on November 19, 2012

anyone else think of this?
posted by timsneezed at 5:51 PM on November 19, 2012

As far as biologists know, red pandas only exist today in the region around the Himalayas. However, a red panda tooth, estimated to be around 4 to 7 million years old, was recently found in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Tennessee.

The ancient...

The venerable...

TENNESSEE FAINTING PANDA
posted by WidgetAlley at 6:06 PM on November 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

lookit his little feeties though
posted by elizardbits at 6:07 PM on November 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

The Chiba Zoo* had a big hit a couple of years ago with Futa-kun, a lesser panda who, wait for it, would stand on his hind legs. Just standing there, forelegs at his side, standing. The crowds went nuts. I mean, the guy was adorable. Just sort of standing there. He became an instant hit, all over the country.

A little known side-effect of Futa-kun's celebrity is that my first date with the future Mrs. Ghidorah was at Chiba Zoo, and yes, Futa stood up. We were happy. As were the gaggle of co-workers that came along with us, making it less than an optimal first date, though I believe Futa-kun balanced that out. Even tackier, a couple years later, that's where I asked the future Mrs. Ghidorah to marry me. For some unknown reason, she said yes. To summarize, lesser pandas are awesome.**

*Located within cycling distance of Chez Ghidorah. In the four years we've lived at Chez, we still haven't been back to the zoo.

**On a somewhat less adorable, slightly more horrifying note, male lesser pandas must be separated from their offspring because they have an annoying tendency to eat their own young.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:10 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

I liked that the second panda decided that all that fuss wasn't worth distracting him from eating.
posted by arcticseal at 7:15 PM on November 19, 2012

Whatever, red pandas are jerks anyway.

I am a huge fan of that particular video. You know that part where the red panda rears up and hangs over her for one brief, timeless moment before falling? I've taken to doing that to Mr. Pterodactyl. Then I head butt him. Then he wakes up. Then I head butt him some more. Then he gets mad. Then I keep head butting him and then maybe fall on him again.

In conclusion, I have a very happy marriage and red pandas are the loveliest.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:17 PM on November 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

Aw, poor baby!
posted by deborah at 7:17 PM on November 19, 2012

Metafilter: They have an annoying tendency to eat their own young
posted by kamikazegopher at 7:18 PM on November 19, 2012

Panda: You know what people say about you? That you're just like me, but not as adorable.

Red Panda: Whatever I'm not even a bear.
posted by fatehunter at 7:42 PM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

they probably excrete 11 pounds of red panda shit a day. And they're threatened, population decreasing, due in part to hunting for the pet trade

the other part being: they are pooping all day
posted by scatter gather at 7:46 PM on November 19, 2012

Metafilter: They are pooping all day.
posted by sweetkid at 7:55 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

...they probably excrete 11 pounds of red panda shit a day.

OKAY WHICH OF YOU WISE GUYS HAS BEEN FEEDING FLAMIN' HOT CHEETOS TO THE PANDAS AGAIN.
posted by griphus at 7:58 PM on November 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

I love how this post totally glosses over the fact that I've never seen a red panda before.--phaedon

Have you seen Kung Fu Panda?

Have you used Firefox?

Oh, you mean the non-animated kind.
posted by eye of newt at 9:12 PM on November 19, 2012

all y'all who want an adorable firefox as a fluffy tummy-showing pet with nommable ears and quirky intelligence, worry not, Nature has provided a cleaner, less voracious, chirpy substitute: the Maine Coon.

That said I am TOTALLY stalking the red pandas at the Perth Zoo once I'm there this December.
posted by fraula at 2:50 AM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]

Watching the first gif that elizarbits linked to while listening to an agressive dubsteppy kind of EDM song is now one of my favorite things.
posted by owtytrof at 11:51 AM on November 20, 2012

In barely at all related news, here is a picture of a tiny little baby bear in a tree.
posted by elizardbits at 3:16 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's a little baby bear!! squeal.
posted by sweetkid at 3:41 PM on November 20, 2012

Gah!

Red Panda Playing in the Snow
posted by Skygazer at 4:16 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]

THE FUCK IS THIS
THE FUCK WAS THAT
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:22 AM on November 21, 2012

(The National Zoo and Aquarium has three red pandas. I think it's in Mackay.)
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:23 AM on November 21, 2012