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Dancing the Blanket Hornpipe
November 20, 2012 6:51 PM   Subscribe

17 euphemisms for doing it taken from the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. And previously on the blue.
posted by Isadorady (38 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'll just keep using "all sound and fury, signifying nothing" as personally accurate.
posted by sourwookie at 6:56 PM on November 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'll just keep using "all sound and fury, signifying nothing" as personally accurate.

You may be doing it wrong.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:57 PM on November 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Longwinded shameless self-link: a little while ago a friend of mine started tweeting nothing but entries from Grose's Dictionary in lieu of his normal stuff. I enjoyed the Grose but missed my friend, so I created a bot, @LexBalatronicum to tweet nothing but Grose, in order to get my friend back.

It worked.
posted by motty at 7:03 PM on November 20, 2012


They forgot "looking for dodos" and "spilling the tea."
posted by swift at 7:04 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Doing what??
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:14 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Blanket Hornpipe is the name of my next band.
posted by COD at 7:14 PM on November 20, 2012 [5 favorites]


The flu shot - it'll just take a second and you won't feel a thing.
posted by empatterson at 7:16 PM on November 20, 2012


The flu shot - it'll just take a second and you won't feel a thing.

No, no - you'll feel a little prick.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:16 PM on November 20, 2012 [5 favorites]


And a list of 21st Century euphemisms will include "doing a Petraeus" (which some inaccurate future historian will say is a variation of "invading Afghanistan")
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:23 PM on November 20, 2012


crushing the maignot line with your panzer divisions
posted by elizardbits at 7:25 PM on November 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


ANY phrase imaginable can be used as a euphemism for sex.

("Doing it" is in itself a euphemism. QED.)
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:39 PM on November 20, 2012


Hiking the Appalachian Trail
The horizontal tango
.
.
.

Or you know... sex
posted by edgeways at 7:39 PM on November 20, 2012


flossing between meals
landing Neil on the moon
breaking the seal
riding the rail to Hoboken
checking the global positioning system
ordering a Grande Latte
beating your high score
cornering the market
playing a first person shooter
LOLing
Skyping
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:45 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Landing Neil on the moon

One small step
posted by Sailormom at 7:51 PM on November 20, 2012


Ride the bologna pony.
posted by BeeDo at 7:57 PM on November 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yes, pretty much any phrase you please can be co-opted to mean having sex, probably because having sex is such a basic human activity that, well ... it ought to be describable in multifarious ways. One of my favorite linguistic tricks is "Yeah, I'll [verb] your [noun]." Fill in the blanks as you please; "I'll bob your hair pin," "I'll order your latte," etc. It's how you say it (little bit of a nasty-sexy sneer helps). Yes, research now establishes that people had sex and found ways to talk about it in the past. The men involved likely wore mustaches that were not ironic. And ... No, we did not invent all this. Now, go resurface your sidewalks, melt your ingots, smoosh your malomars, retread your Goodyears, and blank your blankity blanks to your heart's content, knowing that billions have preceded you in such endeavors and in the associated euphemisms.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 8:00 PM on November 20, 2012


Eighteen euphemisms.

shoe-horning

Right there in the first sentence!
posted by BlueHorse at 8:00 PM on November 20, 2012


8. Blow the grounsils

"Grounsils" are foundation timbers, so "on the floor."


I would instead assume this is an old timey "if the van's a rockin' don't come knockin'" type phrase. Only for houses with shaky foundations.
posted by graventy at 8:01 PM on November 20, 2012


One small step

Hey, now! That's a totally average step. But space is cold.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:09 PM on November 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Considering the Tarellian situation.
posted by Naberius at 8:24 PM on November 20, 2012


I enjoy pop tarts with breakfast. They go in the toaster oven until it pops out warm and gooey. Like many fellas I wash it down with an orange juice or a cup of coffee with two creams and a sugar. Then it off for morning run or a swim, hot shower and a shave. Except on Sundays, then we sleep late and spend most of the morning passing sections of the paper back and forth until the crossword and jumble get done we are off to brunch leaving the remnants of our reading strewn on the floor of the bedroom.
posted by humanfont at 8:27 PM on November 20, 2012


And here they are, to save clicks and disappoint advertisers: posted by ostranenie at 8:46 PM on November 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


>"Yeah, I'll [verb] your [noun]."

(Bill Corbett voice) I'm gonna ______ the hell out of your ______!
posted by ostranenie at 8:47 PM on November 20, 2012


Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
posted by radwolf76 at 9:55 PM on November 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

After several wine coolers, Shaka, when the walls pants fell.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:58 PM on November 20, 2012 [7 favorites]


I searched for 'Lobster Kettle' and turned up this:
lobsters, which are of a bluish black, being made red by boiling. I will not make a lobster-kettle of my ****, a reply frequently made by the nymphs of the Point at Portsmouth, when requested by a soldier to grant him a favour.
A rather different interpretation from the article.

'Convivial Society' does not appear in this book.

A search for carnal turns up:
To be in a woman's beef
Grind
Knock
In her mutton
Occupy
Relish
To touch up a woman
Tup

A search for penis turns up:
Docked smacked smooth; one who has suffered an amputation of his penis from a venereal complaint.
Lobcock. A large relaxed penis.
Plug Tail
Rantallion. One whose scrotum is so relaxed as to be longer than his penis; i.e. whose shot pouch is longer than the barrel of his piece.
Tickle Tail

A search for masturbation and onanism turns up:
Box the Jesuit and get cock roaches.
Corporal. To mount a corporal and four, to be guilty of onanism; the thumb is the corporal, the four fingers the privates.
posted by unliteral at 10:19 PM on November 20, 2012


A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.

I'm going to have a bit of an issue saving .tiffs in Gimp for a while.
posted by Mezentian at 10:31 PM on November 20, 2012


Posting an FPP
Favoriting Comments
Flagging as Fantastic
Using the Contact Form
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:10 AM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I like 'blanket hornpipe', but I thought a hornpipe was basically a one-person dance...
posted by Segundus at 2:28 AM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


This old David Letterman Top 10 list seems appropriate here:
Top ten phrases that sound dirty but really aren't:

10. Frosting the Pastry
9. Shooting Hoops
8. Jumping the Turnstile
7. Checking Your Oil
6. Tethering the Blimp
5. Sending Out for Sushi
4. Picnic on the Grass
3. Quarter-Pounder at the Golden Arches
2. Shaking Hands with Abraham Lincoln
1. Wind-Surfing on Mount Baldy
posted by klausness at 3:59 AM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Heh.
This reminds me of my senior year of college. I somehow lacked a couple of elective credit hours, so a friend convinced me to take the Human Sexuality class. At one point, the class was split in half and pitched against each other in a friendly competition. The task was for the teams to list as many euphemisms for genitalia as possible. My team crushed the other team like ants beneath a bulldozer. Having a horny, literate, art student on our side helped immensely.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:09 AM on November 21, 2012


Top ten phrases that sound dirty but really aren't

"Landing the Johnson account."
posted by jquinby at 5:15 AM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Landing the Johnson account."

Well, that's just put a strange tilt on Bewitched.
posted by Mezentian at 6:22 AM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought this was going to be about the chips funga (french fries to go) story on NPR yesterday...
"Nairobi is a very free town...No one judges a woman if she chips fungas a guy or the other way around. I think it's a good sign."
posted by gueneverey at 6:26 AM on November 21, 2012


Interesting that the chips funga website goes to 102 years old.
One
Hundred
And
Two.
I guess Kenyan grandparents are cool without commitment.
posted by Mezentian at 6:36 AM on November 21, 2012


Backtagging
posted by Kabanos at 7:58 AM on November 21, 2012


And previously on the blue.

So to speak.
posted by aught at 8:05 AM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I always liked the Chinese euphemisms for sex stuff. Playing a game of clouds and rain for example.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 8:20 AM on November 21, 2012


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