Juilliard Releases Banned Repertoire List
November 21, 2012 2:01 PM Subscribe
Juilliard Releases Banned Repertoire List. "The vocal repertoire ban extends to the entire Bel Canto literature, all 24 Italian Songs and Arias, half of Schubert’s vocal output, and any Mozart aria containing a trill."
Haha. I love this: "In preparation for the Ban’s enforcement, Juilliard officials have put all security personnel through a series of rigorous ear-training and music-appreciation courses"
posted by SounderCoo at 2:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by SounderCoo at 2:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
“You can’t just do that,” said one pre-college pianist, claiming that nobody plays Rach 2 the way he plays Rach 2. “There’s a reason why this music is so popular: cuz it’s good, that’s why. No ban can stop these hands!”
I howled.
posted by rtha at 2:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
I howled.
posted by rtha at 2:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
Also: Mustang Sally
posted by Flashman at 2:06 PM on November 21, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by Flashman at 2:06 PM on November 21, 2012 [9 favorites]
Wow, that's the high end of a scale that I did not know existed, but of which I asked about the low end.
posted by darksasami at 2:06 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by darksasami at 2:06 PM on November 21, 2012
HA! As someone who attended conservatory, this is hilarious and oh how I wish it were real.
At art high school, my roommate and I lived right above the trombone practice rooms. We had a tally on our mirror of how many times we had woken up to the theme from Bolero.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
At art high school, my roommate and I lived right above the trombone practice rooms. We had a tally on our mirror of how many times we had woken up to the theme from Bolero.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
Now if only we could get a moratorium on amateur vocalists doing "Oh Holy Night."
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 2:14 PM on November 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 2:14 PM on November 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
500 error. Did we kill it?
posted by brundlefly at 2:16 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by brundlefly at 2:16 PM on November 21, 2012
theodolite, even if you've never auditioned, that setup is a clear "you are on the spot, bub" signal to pretty much everyone.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:17 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:17 PM on November 21, 2012
Looks like we may have killed it for now. Here's a copy of the text:
This past week, the Juilliard Administration released a list of repertoire to be banned for the remainder of the 2012-2013 school year. The decision was made in response to growing discontent among faculty and students regarding the seemingly endless repetition of the same old hackneyed nineteenth century repertoire in the school’s recital halls, studio classes, and practice rooms alike.
News of the Ban caused a stir of commotion on the fourth floor, as security guards marched through the hallways nailing placards containing the complete banned works list to every practice room door. Students rushed out of their rooms to examine the list, some with fingers crossed hoping their current repertoire was safe from the Ban, others checking eagerly to see if their most-hated pieces would be blacklisted. “Tits!” shouted one. “I don’t have to hear that stupid theme from Tchaikovsky’s Rococo Variations again for another year!” Others were less enthused. One pianist, wiping away tears, pressed her back against the wall and slowly slid to the ground, face in palm. “I worked all summer on the jumps at the end of the Mephisto Waltz, and they were just starting to feel comfortable,” she sniffled. “ All for nothing!” Another student was right in the middle of practicing the oboe excerpt from Ravel’s Le Tombeau de Couperin when he found out it was banned. “Does this mean I don’t have a lesson tomorrow?” he asked, confused.
A first-year master’s student in Baroque harpsichord who supports the Ban remarked, “Something had to be done, because shit was hitting the fan. Seriously, how many over-pedaled renditions of Chopin’s G Minor Ballade do I need to hear being played simultaneously in the same hallway during my practice break?”
Prohibited piano works also include Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, Chopin’s Op. 10 Études, Rachmaninoff’s Second and Third Piano Concertos, as well as the Liszt B Minor Sonata, Dante Sonata, and every work he composed between the years of 1837 and 1852. For violin, the Tchaikovsky Concerto and Beethoven Kreutzer Sonata are banned, along with Paganini’s 24th Caprice and all subsequent variation-sets based on its theme (affecting several instruments). Bass players are banned from the Bottesini Concerto, Ein Heldenleben No. 9, and Mozart’s 35th Symphony excerpts. Among strings, violists were hit hardest, with all Bach Cello Suites prohibited as well as any passage of music containing a rhythm in 16th-notes or faster.
Clarinetists are forbidden from Schumann’s Fantasiestücke and the excerpts from Bartók’s Miraculous Mandarin, Flutists from Prokofiev’s Classical Symphony and Debussy’s Syrinx, while Bassoonists cannot touch The Rite of Spring. For percussionists, no more Porgy and Bess, trumpets and trombones can forget about Mahler 5 and the Ride of the Valkyries, respectively, and in a huge blow, horn players will not be allowed to play anything by Richard Strauss.
The vocal repertoire ban extends to the entire Bel Canto literature, all 24 Italian Songs and Arias, half of Schubert’s vocal output, and any Mozart aria containing a trill. A host of Puccini arias are scrapped, including “Quando m’en vo’,” “Un bel di,” “Nessun dorma,” and “O mio babbino caro,” as are all musical theater numbers and any song a singer might consider “jazzy.”
In preparation for the Ban’s enforcement, Juilliard officials have put all security personnel through a series of rigorous ear-training and music-appreciation courses, so that they may patrol the fourth floor listening for prohibited music coming from the practice rooms. Students acting in violation of the Ban will have their I.D.s immediately confiscated, and a hearing scheduled with the Disciplinary Review Board. After two infractions, a student could face expulsion.
While a majority supports the Ban—especially composers and Historical Performance students—others refuse to accept it. “Y ou can’t just do that,” said one pre-college pianist, claiming that nobody plays Rach 2 the way he plays Rach 2. “There’s a reason why this music is so popular: cuz it’s good, that’s why. No ban can stop these hands!” His frustration is understandable: as a result of the Ban, the Pre-College Division has been forced to cancel all recitals scheduled for the remainder of the semester.
posted by ariel_caliban at 2:20 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
This past week, the Juilliard Administration released a list of repertoire to be banned for the remainder of the 2012-2013 school year. The decision was made in response to growing discontent among faculty and students regarding the seemingly endless repetition of the same old hackneyed nineteenth century repertoire in the school’s recital halls, studio classes, and practice rooms alike.
News of the Ban caused a stir of commotion on the fourth floor, as security guards marched through the hallways nailing placards containing the complete banned works list to every practice room door. Students rushed out of their rooms to examine the list, some with fingers crossed hoping their current repertoire was safe from the Ban, others checking eagerly to see if their most-hated pieces would be blacklisted. “Tits!” shouted one. “I don’t have to hear that stupid theme from Tchaikovsky’s Rococo Variations again for another year!” Others were less enthused. One pianist, wiping away tears, pressed her back against the wall and slowly slid to the ground, face in palm. “I worked all summer on the jumps at the end of the Mephisto Waltz, and they were just starting to feel comfortable,” she sniffled. “ All for nothing!” Another student was right in the middle of practicing the oboe excerpt from Ravel’s Le Tombeau de Couperin when he found out it was banned. “Does this mean I don’t have a lesson tomorrow?” he asked, confused.
A first-year master’s student in Baroque harpsichord who supports the Ban remarked, “Something had to be done, because shit was hitting the fan. Seriously, how many over-pedaled renditions of Chopin’s G Minor Ballade do I need to hear being played simultaneously in the same hallway during my practice break?”
Prohibited piano works also include Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, Chopin’s Op. 10 Études, Rachmaninoff’s Second and Third Piano Concertos, as well as the Liszt B Minor Sonata, Dante Sonata, and every work he composed between the years of 1837 and 1852. For violin, the Tchaikovsky Concerto and Beethoven Kreutzer Sonata are banned, along with Paganini’s 24th Caprice and all subsequent variation-sets based on its theme (affecting several instruments). Bass players are banned from the Bottesini Concerto, Ein Heldenleben No. 9, and Mozart’s 35th Symphony excerpts. Among strings, violists were hit hardest, with all Bach Cello Suites prohibited as well as any passage of music containing a rhythm in 16th-notes or faster.
Clarinetists are forbidden from Schumann’s Fantasiestücke and the excerpts from Bartók’s Miraculous Mandarin, Flutists from Prokofiev’s Classical Symphony and Debussy’s Syrinx, while Bassoonists cannot touch The Rite of Spring. For percussionists, no more Porgy and Bess, trumpets and trombones can forget about Mahler 5 and the Ride of the Valkyries, respectively, and in a huge blow, horn players will not be allowed to play anything by Richard Strauss.
The vocal repertoire ban extends to the entire Bel Canto literature, all 24 Italian Songs and Arias, half of Schubert’s vocal output, and any Mozart aria containing a trill. A host of Puccini arias are scrapped, including “Quando m’en vo’,” “Un bel di,” “Nessun dorma,” and “O mio babbino caro,” as are all musical theater numbers and any song a singer might consider “jazzy.”
In preparation for the Ban’s enforcement, Juilliard officials have put all security personnel through a series of rigorous ear-training and music-appreciation courses, so that they may patrol the fourth floor listening for prohibited music coming from the practice rooms. Students acting in violation of the Ban will have their I.D.s immediately confiscated, and a hearing scheduled with the Disciplinary Review Board. After two infractions, a student could face expulsion.
While a majority supports the Ban—especially composers and Historical Performance students—others refuse to accept it. “Y ou can’t just do that,” said one pre-college pianist, claiming that nobody plays Rach 2 the way he plays Rach 2. “There’s a reason why this music is so popular: cuz it’s good, that’s why. No ban can stop these hands!” His frustration is understandable: as a result of the Ban, the Pre-College Division has been forced to cancel all recitals scheduled for the remainder of the semester.
posted by ariel_caliban at 2:20 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
all Schoenberg all the time
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:23 PM on November 21, 2012 [10 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:23 PM on November 21, 2012 [10 favorites]
For violin, the Tchaikovsky Concerto and Beethoven Kreutzer Sonata are banned, along with Paganini’s 24th Caprice and all subsequent variation-sets based on its theme
No partita no. 2 in D minor?
posted by winna at 2:25 PM on November 21, 2012
No partita no. 2 in D minor?
posted by winna at 2:25 PM on November 21, 2012
Oh thank God, Chopsticks is safe.
posted by Spatch at 2:26 PM on November 21, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Spatch at 2:26 PM on November 21, 2012 [5 favorites]
and in a huge blow, horn players will not be allowed to play anything by Richard Strauss.
Ha!
posted by zinful at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
Ha!
posted by zinful at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
So this is not the Onion?
Also, how can you ban "the entire Bel Canto literature"? - aren't they training the vocal students in Bel Canto?
posted by jb at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2012
Also, how can you ban "the entire Bel Canto literature"? - aren't they training the vocal students in Bel Canto?
posted by jb at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2012
jb - it is not the Onion, but it is still satire, there is a disclaimer on the page.
posted by FritoKAL at 2:31 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by FritoKAL at 2:31 PM on November 21, 2012
Bass Players and Flutists be damned!
Please tell me that "Taco Bell Cannon Indeed" was also banned. Please.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 2:35 PM on November 21, 2012
Please tell me that "Taco Bell Cannon Indeed" was also banned. Please.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 2:35 PM on November 21, 2012
"as are all musical theater numbers"
No! No! There's only so far you can bend!
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end!
No! No! You've got no alternative, Seymour old boy!
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed,
It's the only solution. It can't be avoided:
The repertoire must be destroyed.
posted by Mali at 2:37 PM on November 21, 2012 [10 favorites]
No! No! There's only so far you can bend!
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end!
No! No! You've got no alternative, Seymour old boy!
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed,
It's the only solution. It can't be avoided:
The repertoire must be destroyed.
posted by Mali at 2:37 PM on November 21, 2012 [10 favorites]
Not banned: Gangnam Style
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Sexy Lady!!
posted by briank at 2:53 PM on November 21, 2012 [19 favorites]
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Sexy Lady!!
posted by briank at 2:53 PM on November 21, 2012 [19 favorites]
Well played, metafilter, well played.
posted by windykites at 2:57 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by windykites at 2:57 PM on November 21, 2012
So, Slayer it is then!
posted by blaneyphoto at 3:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by blaneyphoto at 3:05 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
Also, how can you ban "the entire Bel Canto literature"? - aren't they training the vocal students in Bel Canto?
I for one could happily go the rest of my life without hearing another vocal student practicing Puccini.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:06 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I for one could happily go the rest of my life without hearing another vocal student practicing Puccini.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:06 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Did anyone else here have a parent who taught private lessons from home? Because you haven't lived until you've woken up three days in a row with the early students playing the two-fingered piano version of "Beauty and the Beast," the Imperial March, or both.
I add "Ici bas" and "L'heure exquise" to that vocal list. It's like we had a treadmill: Christy did it two master classes ago, so I guess it's my turn now...
And, really, I'd put any Mozart aria that DOESN'T have a trill on there. Hell, any pants role. If I have to listen to one more goddamned "Voi che sapete"...
posted by Madamina at 3:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
I add "Ici bas" and "L'heure exquise" to that vocal list. It's like we had a treadmill: Christy did it two master classes ago, so I guess it's my turn now...
And, really, I'd put any Mozart aria that DOESN'T have a trill on there. Hell, any pants role. If I have to listen to one more goddamned "Voi che sapete"...
posted by Madamina at 3:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
Juilliard 2013: All PDQ Bach, all the time.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:12 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:12 PM on November 21, 2012 [8 favorites]
Looks like I'm still safe with "Smoke on the Water" for autoharp.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:28 PM on November 21, 2012 [11 favorites]
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:28 PM on November 21, 2012 [11 favorites]
Can I still do Fur Elise, the second movement of Sonata Pathetique, and Mozart's Sonata for the Musically Inept in C Major?
posted by The Confessor at 3:31 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Confessor at 3:31 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
as are all musical theater numbers and any song a singer might consider “jazzy.”
Well that there is just common sense.
All tenors should have Judas Priest's "Victim of Changes" in their folders. That'll have 'em chasing the high notes to no avail.
posted by Ber at 3:34 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Well that there is just common sense.
All tenors should have Judas Priest's "Victim of Changes" in their folders. That'll have 'em chasing the high notes to no avail.
posted by Ber at 3:34 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
2 stories:
* I've told it before, so briefly - for a couple years I lived one floor below a jazz guitarist. He was really, really good; but when he was teaching himself something, he would spend a few weekends in a row playing that one song on a 3-hour continuous loop. Still, I didn't mind it so much -- until the month he was trying to teach himself Girl From Ipanema and I nearly clawed my ears off.
* My freshman year in the drama program, we had vocal class once a week. Our very first class was just a hail-fellow-well-met meeting in which the teacher told us all how we'd work for the year, what we'd be doing and what we could expect. We would each pick a single song to work on for the entire first semester, he said; it could be from any genre, any composer, pop, jazz, musical theater, classical, didn't matter - this was just to first of all get used to working. He released us all, telling us we had to all declare our selection of song the following week and he'd pick a few of us for the first in-class session.
We all came into class the next week, all of us with sheet music which we'd purchased, he took down all of our choices in his notebook one by one - and there were a lot of repeats: all the boys had either chosen Music of the Night from Phantom or Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Mis. All the other girls had selected either On My Own from Les Mis, or Memory from Cats.
I, however, had chosen Sting's Moon Over Bourbon Street.
Our teacher had kept his head down, jotting in his notebook when he heard everyone else's choice. But when I announced my choice, he stopped and looked up at me, hesitated a moment, and then fervently said "Thank you." And went on to take down the next kid and their mention of "Memory" or "Music of the Night."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:36 PM on November 21, 2012 [18 favorites]
* I've told it before, so briefly - for a couple years I lived one floor below a jazz guitarist. He was really, really good; but when he was teaching himself something, he would spend a few weekends in a row playing that one song on a 3-hour continuous loop. Still, I didn't mind it so much -- until the month he was trying to teach himself Girl From Ipanema and I nearly clawed my ears off.
* My freshman year in the drama program, we had vocal class once a week. Our very first class was just a hail-fellow-well-met meeting in which the teacher told us all how we'd work for the year, what we'd be doing and what we could expect. We would each pick a single song to work on for the entire first semester, he said; it could be from any genre, any composer, pop, jazz, musical theater, classical, didn't matter - this was just to first of all get used to working. He released us all, telling us we had to all declare our selection of song the following week and he'd pick a few of us for the first in-class session.
We all came into class the next week, all of us with sheet music which we'd purchased, he took down all of our choices in his notebook one by one - and there were a lot of repeats: all the boys had either chosen Music of the Night from Phantom or Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Mis. All the other girls had selected either On My Own from Les Mis, or Memory from Cats.
I, however, had chosen Sting's Moon Over Bourbon Street.
Our teacher had kept his head down, jotting in his notebook when he heard everyone else's choice. But when I announced my choice, he stopped and looked up at me, hesitated a moment, and then fervently said "Thank you." And went on to take down the next kid and their mention of "Memory" or "Music of the Night."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:36 PM on November 21, 2012 [18 favorites]
I so want to forward this to the faculty list at the School of Music right now, except that I anticipate there would then be a hurriedly called meeting in the Director's office punctuated with cries of "Where Julliard goes, [University where I work] follows!"
posted by jokeefe at 3:37 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by jokeefe at 3:37 PM on November 21, 2012
As a violist - this statement is hilarious:
posted by awfurby at 3:42 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
Among strings, violists were hit hardest, with all Bach Cello Suites prohibited as well as any passage of music containing a rhythm in 16th-notes or faster.Oh well, at least they didn't take out Harold in Italy.
posted by awfurby at 3:42 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
And here I thought it might be safe to read the comments, but no...
Unbelievable ! Now communism is in the school too?..They want to controle what students want to play?all the banned works are the must play list if you are a music major student…if society or system starts controle the freedom of music play.. It’s… The end of cultural era..posted by jokeefe at 3:43 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
The one time I auditioned for drama school I did it in French, Herod's big speech from Salome.
I don't think I really wanted to get in.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:44 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I don't think I really wanted to get in.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:44 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Juilliard 2013: All PDQ Bach, all the time.
If I were holding auditions, and somebody said they were using "New Horizons In Music Appreciation" as a monologue, I would offer them every role in the production right there and then.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 3:50 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
If I were holding auditions, and somebody said they were using "New Horizons In Music Appreciation" as a monologue, I would offer them every role in the production right there and then.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 3:50 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
Ha! "Vocal Arts Student Performs Entire Role of Susanna in D Staircase". I swear to god this actually happened here this year, except it was Halloween, and Lucia, and she was wearing an old wedding gown liberally splashed with red paint.
I love my job.
posted by jokeefe at 3:52 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I love my job.
posted by jokeefe at 3:52 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Heh.
I auditioned for (and attended) the Dillard High School for the Performing Arts for my freshman year of high school. Auditions were in 1978 for the 1979/80 school year and lasted for 2 days. At the end of the first day, the head of the school stood in front of the mass of auditionees and said, "If I hear ANYONE sing Tomorrow tomorrow, you will be out. No questions asked."
I have to say, we all felt the same way by that point.
posted by blurker at 3:54 PM on November 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
I auditioned for (and attended) the Dillard High School for the Performing Arts for my freshman year of high school. Auditions were in 1978 for the 1979/80 school year and lasted for 2 days. At the end of the first day, the head of the school stood in front of the mass of auditionees and said, "If I hear ANYONE sing Tomorrow tomorrow, you will be out. No questions asked."
I have to say, we all felt the same way by that point.
posted by blurker at 3:54 PM on November 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
The local orchestra I play in has a spectrum of players from very amateur to at least teaching-pros. And then we hire a young pro for violin and 'cello. They come in and audition from conservatories all over the country, so they're the Real Deal, but Lord love 'em, they're still young. Every year we audition one of those instruments for the 2 year fellowship, and the opening concert of the season features solos by these two. The violins seem to skip around a bit more, but as I understand it we finally had to put a moratorium on the Dvorak Cello Concerto, at least to the extent of saying that, sorry, the incoming fellow could only play it if it hadn't been played in the last 2-3 years.
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I thought this article was satire based on the writing style and the quips from students.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 4:30 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by Nimmie Amee at 4:30 PM on November 21, 2012
PLAY FREEBIRD!
posted by ardgedee at 4:35 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ardgedee at 4:35 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
The article has now been improved with the following preamble:
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:41 PM on November 21, 2012
NOTE: The following article is intended as humor and its contents do not reflect the real policies of the Juilliard Administration. The Juilliard Admissions Office has asked The Yard to refer prospective students to the official repertoire guidlines listed on the Juilliard Admissions website: http://www.juilliard.edu/apply/program-information/index.php
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:41 PM on November 21, 2012
Wouldn't be such a bad idea, to be honest - albeit only if implemented in a less extreme fashion as described here.
An illustration, if you'll pardon an abrupt transition from 'high' nerd to 'low' nerd:
Magic the Gathering has extensive banlists that knock out cards that they perceive as "warping a format." That is, it's not simply the cards that are too potentially powerful that get knocked out, it's the ones that distort their environment so that everybody either plays them or has to include a response to them in every deck.
In short, banning the standard repertoire, at least in some contexts, would be a very healthy thing for any musician: the greats may be great, but they're definitely not the be-all-and-end-all by a long shot.
posted by fifthrider at 4:44 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
An illustration, if you'll pardon an abrupt transition from 'high' nerd to 'low' nerd:
Magic the Gathering has extensive banlists that knock out cards that they perceive as "warping a format." That is, it's not simply the cards that are too potentially powerful that get knocked out, it's the ones that distort their environment so that everybody either plays them or has to include a response to them in every deck.
In short, banning the standard repertoire, at least in some contexts, would be a very healthy thing for any musician: the greats may be great, but they're definitely not the be-all-and-end-all by a long shot.
posted by fifthrider at 4:44 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Oh FFS, they've had to add a disclaimer at the top because too many of the commentators didn't get the satire. Honestly.
posted by jokeefe at 4:49 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by jokeefe at 4:49 PM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
"Prohibited piano works also include Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, Chopin’s Op. 10 Études, Rachmaninoff’s Second and Third Piano Concertos, as well as the Liszt B Minor Sonata"
Liszt. Ferencz Liszt.
I heard you like lists, so I put some Liszt on your list.
posted by infinite intimation at 4:50 PM on November 21, 2012 [5 favorites]
Liszt. Ferencz Liszt.
I heard you like lists, so I put some Liszt on your list.
posted by infinite intimation at 4:50 PM on November 21, 2012 [5 favorites]
Does "all musical theater numbers" include Gilbert and Sullivan? Because you'll pry my "Oh, better far to live and die ...I am a pirate king!" from my cold, dead diaphragm!
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
Not to mention "His sisters and his cousins/Whom he reckons now by dozens...AND HIS AUNTS!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:21 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:21 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
Another student was right in the middle of practicing the oboe excerpt from Ravel’s Le Tombeau de Couperin when he found out it was banned. “Does this mean I don’t have a lesson tomorrow?” he asked, confused.
Actual tears in my eyes
posted by joboe at 5:52 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
Actual tears in my eyes
posted by joboe at 5:52 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
For fiddlers, it's got to be Ashokan Farewell. A gorgeous piece to be sure (as demonstrated by the link), but surely it's not the only fiddle ballad.
posted by muddgirl at 5:55 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by muddgirl at 5:55 PM on November 21, 2012
Pffft. They still allow "Stairway to Heaven" and "Welcome to the Jungle". Amateurs.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by clvrmnky at 6:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I can't believe they didn't include Beethoven's 45-minute Hammerklavier Sonata in that banned list. Down with Weltschmerz!!! Including all Schubert songs sung by tenors named Vern.
posted by Twang at 6:17 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by Twang at 6:17 PM on November 21, 2012
"Una Voce Poco Fa." KILL IT WITH FIRE. A lovely aria, I actually listen to it on purpose frequently, but it's frickin 8 and a half minutes long, and whenever anyone ends up auditioning with it, you listen politely for 30 seconds and then it's just one long horror of butchering ornaments.
"Vocal Arts Student Performs Entire Role of Susanna in D Staircase".
I will confess-- I just got back from a week staying with my father-in-law, whose living room has cathedral ceilings, a travertine marble floor, and floor-to-ceiling windows on three sides. I found myself constantly singing the Bell Aria. (Or trying to. I'm an alto. I have a C, sort of, on a good day, but an Eb hahahahahahaha no.) I know, I should be ashamed, but it was such a great space!
posted by KathrynT at 6:20 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Vocal Arts Student Performs Entire Role of Susanna in D Staircase".
I will confess-- I just got back from a week staying with my father-in-law, whose living room has cathedral ceilings, a travertine marble floor, and floor-to-ceiling windows on three sides. I found myself constantly singing the Bell Aria. (Or trying to. I'm an alto. I have a C, sort of, on a good day, but an Eb hahahahahahaha no.) I know, I should be ashamed, but it was such a great space!
posted by KathrynT at 6:20 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I was actually kind of glad to see Le Tombeau de Couperin on that list; I didn't know it was popular enough to be considered ban-worthy. I'm not surprised it's over-played; it's an excellent work, especially the first, second and last movements.
posted by MattMangels at 6:29 PM on November 21, 2012
posted by MattMangels at 6:29 PM on November 21, 2012
"If I hear ANYONE sing Tomorrow tomorrow, you will be out. No questions asked."
So, did you sing Yesterday?
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:32 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
So, did you sing Yesterday?
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:32 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
I heard you like lists, so I put some Liszt on your list.
Have you seen the last page of the original The Book of Lists?
posted by ovvl at 7:28 PM on November 21, 2012
Have you seen the last page of the original The Book of Lists?
posted by ovvl at 7:28 PM on November 21, 2012
Edit:posted by destrius at 7:32 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
At the time of this article’s original publication, guitarists had been spared from the ban. Many attributed this omission to the fact that the guitar repertoire is mostly weak as fuck anyway, so it’s no wonder they play the same shit over and over, but apparently the administration had simply forgotten guitar was a real instrument (again). Recognizing their error the administration amended the ban to include Assad’s Aquarelle, Barrios’s La Catedral, the Prelude from Bach’s Lute Suite No. 4 in E, Giuliani’s Grand Overture, Ginastera’s Sonata, Rodrigo’s Concerto de Aranjuez, all Isaac Albéniz transcriptions, and especially Koyunbaba.
We had a tally on our mirror of how many times we had woken up to the theme from Bolero.
The theme from Bolero? This Bolero? Er, wouldn't that just be Ravel's Boléro?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:36 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
The theme from Bolero? This Bolero? Er, wouldn't that just be Ravel's Boléro?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:36 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
"You're listening to morning hits on WDUF- your Guillaume Dufay superstation!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:37 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:37 PM on November 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Ashokan Farewell" reminds me of another one - a company I've worked with did a production of the play Missouri Legend, and worked in a whole bunch of live folk music throughout. So they looked for actors who could sing or play an instrument as well. They ended up with a great little band - a couple guitars, fiddles, a banjo, a mandolin...a great little folk/roots/bluegrassy sort of band.
I was at the closing night cast party, and of course there was a lot of jamming among the cast, but then some people started reminiscing about "hey, what was the song you auditioned with" amongst themselves. They explained to me that they'd asked all the actors to audition with a song as well as give an acting audition, and they'd let each actor choose their own song.
And that's when the director winced and told me "the only problem is I ended up hearing songs from the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack OVER and OVER and OVER....."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:59 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
I was at the closing night cast party, and of course there was a lot of jamming among the cast, but then some people started reminiscing about "hey, what was the song you auditioned with" amongst themselves. They explained to me that they'd asked all the actors to audition with a song as well as give an acting audition, and they'd let each actor choose their own song.
And that's when the director winced and told me "the only problem is I ended up hearing songs from the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack OVER and OVER and OVER....."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:59 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
All I can say is it would have been awesome if "24 Italian Hits" had been banned while I was studying music.
posted by michswiss at 9:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by michswiss at 9:07 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Awwww yes, Chopin's 1st Piano Concerto is safe!
(And word on the Ashokan Farewell. I like it and all, but it's like it takes and Act of God to get someone to play Rosin the Bow instead.)
posted by kalimac at 1:20 AM on November 22, 2012
(And word on the Ashokan Farewell. I like it and all, but it's like it takes and Act of God to get someone to play Rosin the Bow instead.)
posted by kalimac at 1:20 AM on November 22, 2012
Bassoonists cannot touch The Rite of Spring.
Oh the memories.
My first year of university was actually as a piano performance major, and I continued playing baritone saxophone, honored to be THE bari in the top jazz and classical ensembles. I loved (and still love) bari sax; used the heaviest reeds (Vandoren 5 for classical, 4 for jazz) and open mouthpieces for the best resonance on my Selmer Super Action 80 Série II in case there are any other sax nerds here; TL;DR this series, for all the sax ranges (soprano/alto/tenor/baritone), had a rich, dark sound that was practically edible.
In our Wind Ensemble, I sat behind the single bassoonist and in front of the tubas and trombones (wheehehehe).
Our bassoonist would play That Part of the Rite of Spring before Every. Single. Rehearsal.
Eeevery... Single... Rehearsal. "Dooo*choke*oo, doo-doo-doo doo-doooo...." (no mordent/ornament, they had a rough time with it)
"Dooo*hic*oo, doo-doo-doo doo-doooo..."
"Dammit. D*splutter*ooo... shit. Doo*SQUAWK* the hell?!?! ...damned reed!!"
Every. Single. Rehearsal. (And with oboes and bassoons, it's always "the reed". Ahem. :) )
I figured out which notes the solo was. Complication: the high D on a bassoon is a harmonic (overtone, not a naturally-playable fingered note) on the baritone saxophone. But I managed it anyway.
Without squawking, screeching or choking, and to a round of applause and laughter from the ensemble when I followed up the predictable bassoon attempt. And with the mordent to the harmonic. Another TL;DR, this is NOT simple.
The poor bassoonist never again practiced it before rehearsals.
posted by fraula at 2:14 AM on November 22, 2012 [5 favorites]
Oh the memories.
My first year of university was actually as a piano performance major, and I continued playing baritone saxophone, honored to be THE bari in the top jazz and classical ensembles. I loved (and still love) bari sax; used the heaviest reeds (Vandoren 5 for classical, 4 for jazz) and open mouthpieces for the best resonance on my Selmer Super Action 80 Série II in case there are any other sax nerds here; TL;DR this series, for all the sax ranges (soprano/alto/tenor/baritone), had a rich, dark sound that was practically edible.
In our Wind Ensemble, I sat behind the single bassoonist and in front of the tubas and trombones (wheehehehe).
Our bassoonist would play That Part of the Rite of Spring before Every. Single. Rehearsal.
Eeevery... Single... Rehearsal. "Dooo*choke*oo, doo-doo-doo doo-doooo...." (no mordent/ornament, they had a rough time with it)
"Dooo*hic*oo, doo-doo-doo doo-doooo..."
"Dammit. D*splutter*ooo... shit. Doo*SQUAWK* the hell?!?! ...damned reed!!"
Every. Single. Rehearsal. (And with oboes and bassoons, it's always "the reed". Ahem. :) )
I figured out which notes the solo was. Complication: the high D on a bassoon is a harmonic (overtone, not a naturally-playable fingered note) on the baritone saxophone. But I managed it anyway.
Without squawking, screeching or choking, and to a round of applause and laughter from the ensemble when I followed up the predictable bassoon attempt. And with the mordent to the harmonic. Another TL;DR, this is NOT simple.
The poor bassoonist never again practiced it before rehearsals.
posted by fraula at 2:14 AM on November 22, 2012 [5 favorites]
Heh. I played bassoon throughout high school. Bassoonists have a joke about how brutal that opening part from "Rite of Spring" is. We sing it to the lyrics, "IIIIII am not an English hooooorn. This part's too high for meee."
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:40 AM on November 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:40 AM on November 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
fraula, you did humanity a great service that day. I just use #3 Hemke reeds on my Bari sax with a Larson mp, so I don't know that I could have pulled it off... :-)
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:26 AM on November 22, 2012
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:26 AM on November 22, 2012
As a former bassoonist and sax player, I've gotta say I feel for the poor guy trying to pull off Rite of Spring and getting mocked by a cocky bari. Because, yes, mother-effing-single-reed hotshots, it usually *is* the reed. I remember the few times I lucked into a perfect reed the way I remember that one dinner I had in 1993, Couscous Royale in Besançon -- the Barbera, the merguez, the warm summer night... once in a lifetime. Sigh.
posted by ariel_caliban at 7:41 AM on November 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by ariel_caliban at 7:41 AM on November 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
and in a huge blow, horn players will not be allowed to play anything by Richard Strauss.
Punny and delightful.
I played bassoon throughout high school. Bassoonists have a joke about how brutal that opening part from "Rite of Spring" is. We sing it to the lyrics, "IIIIII am not an English hooooorn. This part's too high for meee."
Funny thing about that solo, Stravinsky of course knew exactly how high that solo is for bassoon and wrote it up there on purpose--he wanted the bassoon to sound strained and at the edge of breaking. He wrote it in 1913 and lived until 1971 (iirc), which was long enough for the piece to become standard repertoire and that solo a regular audition excerpt, so bassoonists came to play the solo with exquisite polish....which Stravinsky really lamented. He didn't want the solo to sound polished.
posted by LooseFilter at 10:24 AM on November 22, 2012 [6 favorites]
Punny and delightful.
I played bassoon throughout high school. Bassoonists have a joke about how brutal that opening part from "Rite of Spring" is. We sing it to the lyrics, "IIIIII am not an English hooooorn. This part's too high for meee."
Funny thing about that solo, Stravinsky of course knew exactly how high that solo is for bassoon and wrote it up there on purpose--he wanted the bassoon to sound strained and at the edge of breaking. He wrote it in 1913 and lived until 1971 (iirc), which was long enough for the piece to become standard repertoire and that solo a regular audition excerpt, so bassoonists came to play the solo with exquisite polish....which Stravinsky really lamented. He didn't want the solo to sound polished.
posted by LooseFilter at 10:24 AM on November 22, 2012 [6 favorites]
For context of the rites of spring bassoon bits (Stravinsky's Rite Of Spring Bassoon solo by Gustavo Nunez); apparently the bassoon is a Cantina Band Instrument.
I heard bassoons have cannons, or projectile shooters hidden in them. Are they supposed to mount bayonets on the ends? The bassoon is an instrument that I either forgot about or never opened my eyes to the awesomeness of, and the world has just been passing me by and hiding this awesome instrument, I guess, so it's coming at me like some sort of made up sci-fi instrument (not-saxist). It seems like a classy Mouth-Keytar.
Is Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know, APB The Breaking Winds Bassoon Quartet on a list?
posted by infinite intimation at 4:07 PM on November 22, 2012
I heard bassoons have cannons, or projectile shooters hidden in them. Are they supposed to mount bayonets on the ends? The bassoon is an instrument that I either forgot about or never opened my eyes to the awesomeness of, and the world has just been passing me by and hiding this awesome instrument, I guess, so it's coming at me like some sort of made up sci-fi instrument (not-saxist). It seems like a classy Mouth-Keytar.
Is Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know, APB The Breaking Winds Bassoon Quartet on a list?
posted by infinite intimation at 4:07 PM on November 22, 2012
« Older Teleportation at the speed of download | I have tested Love Jet on 10,000 women Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by theodolite at 2:02 PM on November 21, 2012 [3 favorites]