"Anonymous stranger, can I have $100?"
"Important person, do you think my best idea ever, which I've spend months working on, which I've pinned my hopes and dreams to, is any good; and can you help me make it a reality?"
Quickly, however, the focus turned to the experimenters themselves. The seemingly simple assignment proved to be extremely difficult, even traumatic, for the students to carry out.
"It's something you can't really understand unless you've been there," said Dr. David Carraher, 55, now a senior scientist at a nonprofit group in Cambridge, Mass.
Dr. Kathryn Krogh, 58, a clinical psychologist in Arlington, Va., was more blunt: "I was afraid I was going to throw up."
"Here's the deal, hoss: people who are secure in their self-confidence, character and charisma do not generally do big, Manic Pixie Dream Person-esque public acts that could possibly embarrass/upset/annoy other people. Rather than executing a big public demonstration of your own quirkiness/specialness, seek to develop a quiet inner strength. Do good works and DON'T TELL ANYONE. Harry Houdini - by most accounts, a very upstanding and charismatic fella - said, "When I do good, I don't bring along a brass band.""*
"Yeah, I think there's a disconnect between the questions and the answers. Doing nutty stunts doesn't actually take that much inner grit, because the bizarreness of the activity itself kind of provides a distracting shelter that acts against the use of interpersonal skills, rather than in support of them."*
"All that said, I've used many skills from DBT therapy to great effect in my life. There is an entire module for "Interpersonal Effectiveness." That module comes after mindulness, because observation skills are very very important to knowing how people are reacting to your actions. I would suggest, spend a few days focusing on what people are actually saying and doing in response to you. During those days, also pay close attention to what is happening around and inside of you. " *
Just like the car salesman, the lady kept saying ‘no’ without giving me a reason other than “we don’t do it here”. I should have asked why and hear her side of the story. If there was a reason, maybe I could have worked on the reason instead of the issue itself.
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