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November 28, 2012 3:02 PM   Subscribe

Do you like Cleverbot, but maybe wished that it was an androgynous jpop boy you could dress up and make your boyfriend? There's an app for tha-- oh no wait, nevermind.

Boyfriend Maker was a popular dating sim app powered by the SimSimi chat engine, whose sometimes offensive language earned it a ban from the App Store. (NSFW language)
posted by justkevin (21 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
The whole idea that you cannot run this program on your iDevice, because Apple doesn't like it, is far more offensive than the app could ever be.
posted by Malor at 3:09 PM on November 28, 2012 [19 favorites]


This is hilarious.

And it seems to be less an issue of Apple not liking it and more an issue of the app's (potential) content being incompatible with the age rating. I wouldn't be surprised if it gets resubmitted for approval with a more restrictive age rating.
posted by ardgedee at 3:20 PM on November 28, 2012


Do you like Cleverbot, but maybe wished that it was an androgynous jpop boy you could dress up and make your boyfriend?

I'm just glad you're still asking me rather than assuming the affirmative based on past assumptions. There's hope for my reputation yet.

At least that's what I thought. And then I read this:

"Is there a party in your pants?" You type to your virtual boyfriend. "I didn't make it to the bathroom," the lush-lipped Ken doll replies.

And realized this might be for me after all.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:31 PM on November 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


The whole idea that you cannot run this program on your iDevice, because Apple doesn't like it, is far more offensive than the app could ever be.

Apple guarantees its users stability and security through its approval process. Stability meaning, obviously, that a program won't fuck up the rest of your shit, that it'll do what it promises to do as smoothly as it can possibly do. Security's more of a multi-headed hydra: it means not infecting your phone, it means not stealing your information or anything similarly underhanded, but it also means not exposing underage users, or just squeamish users, to anything that they don't want to be exposed to.

I love freedom. I grew up on the wild, wild World Wide Web. I was first linked to Tubgirl when I was thirteen years old, for the crime of asking somebody where I could listen to the Final Fantasy VIII soundtrack. Had my parents known, they would have probably banned me from forums. Hell, my dad banned me from IM because he thought a Russian spambot might ask where I lived and then come over and rape me.

iPhone users who want more freedom have Cydia. People who find Apple's worldview repugnant have Linux and Android, neither of which entirely suck (though they suck by the metrics Apple cares about). People who want to send iOS users Tubgirl have many, many options.

I don't find it odd that you find Apple's behavior offensive, because I find plenty of worldviews offensive too. But I do think that Apple's offensiveness is questionable, since they don't force their products on you and they're pretty up-front about why they do what they do and their users can get away with doing a lot of things that Apple, strictly speaking, would rather they not do.
posted by Rory Marinich at 3:32 PM on November 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


Holy shit I'm in pain from laughter over here.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:42 PM on November 28, 2012


This tumblr linked in the article is cracking me up. I can see why people would be hooked on this. Some of the conversations are surprisingly lifelike. Others are just impassive in managing to come up with relevant responses in weird contexts.
posted by Winnemac at 3:48 PM on November 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am piiiiiiiiissed I didn't know about this before it was pulled.
posted by stoneandstar at 3:58 PM on November 28, 2012


Apple: Their trains run on time. And if you don't love it, leave it.
posted by DU at 4:03 PM on November 28, 2012


[Maybe don't turn this into a generic yay/boo Apple thread? Please?]
posted by jessamyn at 4:28 PM on November 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


Oh my god this one is great.
posted by Evernix at 4:35 PM on November 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


I am crying with laughter over slaverham lincoln.
posted by schwa at 5:16 PM on November 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


MetaFilter: an androgynous jpop boy you could dress up and make your boyfriend.
posted by plexi at 5:19 PM on November 28, 2012


Fractured "dead monkey" joke is the best kind of "dead monkey" joke.
posted by saturday_morning at 5:24 PM on November 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


This one is bad enough without making me feel like such a nerd for understanding the reference.

God, I want this game. I've like, lost my voice laughing so hard.
posted by byanyothername at 6:56 PM on November 28, 2012


Yeah I sorta misunderstood and thought that even though it was off the Apple store, I could still get it on my droid, and not being able to do so hasn't ruined my night but it is disappointing.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:32 PM on November 28, 2012


I want this app so bad. I am not sure why the background with the dressup-doll boyfriend makes cleverbot-style bots so much funnier, but it DOES.

Also, I feel like I should link to this short story, because it is about boyfriend apps.
posted by NoraReed at 9:03 PM on November 28, 2012


They are suposedly comming out with an android version
posted by delmoi at 9:17 PM on November 28, 2012


Stanislaw Lem's masterpiece!

aw, man. I'm sad it's no longer available; I'd love to see mefites' conversations with jpop boyfriend!
posted by taz at 5:19 AM on November 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
posted by jferg at 7:08 AM on November 29, 2012


Does it learn just by interacting with users, or do you need to be using the "teach" function (which requires a Facebook login)? I tried googling it but got held up by laughing at the tumblr.
posted by AmandaA at 9:29 AM on November 29, 2012


This feels like a weird chatroulette kind of thing. Does the app connect actual users, or does it draw from a database?

Either way, I am cracking up.
posted by catlet at 12:27 PM on November 29, 2012


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