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Bloodshot and tired looks
November 30, 2012 8:55 AM   Subscribe

"That effortless look that says 'hey, the baby's sucking the life out of me, but here's a cup of blood to drink.' Pregnant Bella Swan - the perfect make-up look for office parties, bridal showers, or even the first day of school. (NSFW language)
posted by mippy (24 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
That was awesome. "Music by this French guy."
posted by tickingclock at 9:05 AM on November 30, 2012 [7 favorites]


"how did u do the pregnant belly?"

"we got her pregnant"
posted by lineofsight at 9:13 AM on November 30, 2012 [17 favorites]


Every time somebody makes a synopsis the final scenes of the last book to me, my brain shifts to "bad fanfic mode," and assumes this is all non-canon and probably tumblrian in origin.

It's a reflex that helps me avoid taking in fake information, which has helped me watch "Look Around You" while also taking science courses without putting bad information on tests.

But now I cannot truly appreciate the wonders of Meyers' works. ;_;
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:35 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Awesome: We're going to contour the &%#$ out of her.
posted by mochapickle at 9:35 AM on November 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


Everything about this is amazing, down to the makeup artist's crappy nail job.
posted by roger ackroyd at 9:44 AM on November 30, 2012


I'm sort of entranced by the (serious) video that it is a response to: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 Makeup Tutorial (Bella's Pregnancy Look). It's like a video they would show you at a goth spa.
posted by primalux at 10:25 AM on November 30, 2012


that was brilliant and am totally taking notes as the makeup addict i am XD
posted by liza at 10:58 AM on November 30, 2012


Are there any other guys who occasionally watch makeup tutorials on YouTube to try and identify that strange moment when the subject goes from a perfectly adequate looking woman with bright paint on her face into a radiantly beautiful but shockingly other woman? Even as I watch the process I can't really see the moment of change.

Here, of course, it's totally exaggerated, but at the end of the process the woman is convincing in her gothy deadness. Yet at the start, when the ivory white paint goes on, my reaction is "oh please that looks silly. Why are you doing this?"

Am I alone in this? Am I just so blinded by my culture that I can't see that makeup is inherently fake?
posted by sixohsix at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2012 [7 favorites]


Are there any other guys who occasionally watch makeup tutorials on YouTube to try and identify that strange moment when the subject goes from a perfectly adequate looking woman with bright paint on her face into a radiantly beautiful but shockingly other woman?

I occasionally look at a video or article on this subject and think "oh lord, I'd rather see this person without all the makeup, that makeup looks ridiculous"...but at the same time, when I see someone actually wearing that makeup in person, without the non-made-up appearance to compare it to, all I'm going to see is that person looking like that, so it won't seem fake. I might even think they look that way all the time.

which is why I prefer to be with women who don't wear much makeup, or preferably none.
posted by davejay at 11:30 AM on November 30, 2012


This is what I think of when people talk about how they don't like makeup. Usually what they mean is "bad makeup."
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:39 AM on November 30, 2012 [12 favorites]


I wasn't trying to make it a value judgement about makeup vs. non-makeup. All I mean is that when a makeup "look" ("natural" or exaggerated) suddenly comes together the effect is shocking to me. It's like watching Bob Ross paint a tree. At first it's a mess of green and I think "that's not a tree!" Then suddenly a few specks of white or brown are added and a tree appears.
posted by sixohsix at 11:49 AM on November 30, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm fairly new to make-up videos. I've been wearing it since I was 16 - first because I wanted to look like a grown-up, then because I subscribed to the maxim 'if you can't be pretty, be striking', and then because I decided it was fun to be able to look a bit different every day if I wanted to. I'm going to two weddings this weekend and I'm looking forward to dressing myself up a little and putting on the lipstick that's a bit too much effort for everyday. It's not compulsory, and I also like not having to bother all the time, but it's something I like doing. It's the adult version of fingerpainting.

As someone who buys cosmetics, make-up blogs are a godsend. The reviewers may often get sent stuff for free, but what the best ones do is offer honest opinions without concession to advertisers or what's the best new thing, and my favourite blogs (I rate beaut.ie at the moment, because it is very funny and doesn't take itself at all seriously) realise that the majority of people are not going to spend £50 on a facecream and tell you what at the cheaper end of the market is worthwhile and what's a waste of cash.

The other good thing is that you get to see make-up on real people rather than models whose job it is to look beautiful on camera. I have very pale skin, smallish eyes and glasses that are very much not a fashion accessory. Most 'looks' that are fashionable or mainstream are just not going to work for me, and the same goes for a lot of other women, particularly women of colour. I have a really tough time finding foundation the right colour on me (for some reason, even in a mostly pale country like the UK or Ireland, most lines' lightest shade would best be renamed 'Racially Offensive' when applied to my face) and blogs have been invaluable in saving me a lot of time and cash.

Vlogs have been a mystery to me until I realised when searching for tips on what skin products would be good to pick up in France that there are literally thousands of videos of people showing off their beauty 'hauls' to camera, and even more of regular people ranting about products or showing off looks. It's a whole culture of its own. And when I was searching today for info on Urban Decay being bought out by L'Oreal (it's mostly an animal testing issue) I found this lass and decided that her sweary belligerence was hilarious even before the Twilight.

Yet at the start, when the ivory white paint goes on
Hahahaha. That foundation is actually too dark for me.
posted by mippy at 11:53 AM on November 30, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm also watching some of her other videos, out of pure curiosity because I don't expect to put together a makeup look anytime soon. (I'd probably have to shave off my beard first...)

I learned an amusing phrase: "to hit pan". Meaning to use up most of cell of makeup in a kit and find the tin underneath.
posted by sixohsix at 11:59 AM on November 30, 2012


At the end of my most recent pregnancy my iron was so low I had to have multiple IV iron infusions. If drinking blood would have worked they probably would have had me do that.
posted by bq at 12:07 PM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


sixohsix - my boyfriend has beautiful long eyelashes. I keep hoping that one day he'll let me put mascara on him to see what it looks like.
posted by mippy at 12:09 PM on November 30, 2012


MetaFilter: It's like watching Bob Ross paint a tree.
posted by The Tensor at 12:29 PM on November 30, 2012


I learned an amusing phrase: "to hit pan". Meaning to use up most of cell of makeup in a kit and find the tin underneath.

Over on Makeup Alley, they'll post pan porn -- pictures of blush or eyeshadow or whatever in which you've hit pan. At least they're using what they've got, instead of building a never-ending stash.
posted by rewil at 12:31 PM on November 30, 2012


It's like a video they would show you at a goth spa.

Goths generally hate the SHIT out of Twiilght.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:47 PM on November 30, 2012


Goths generally hate the SHIT out of Twiilght.
Ha, oh I'm well aware (see profile picture if you doubt, where I busted out my 16 year old shirt for "World Goth Day"). I meant it in a way that had less to do with it actually being makeup based on a character from Twilight, and more in a sort of "sweet voiced girl, telling you how to look lifeless and bloodless, all set to weird harpsichord-y music". It sort of reminded me of sites I used to read, back in those goth days of mine, about DIY goth home decorating run by these sweet-housewife-goth-girls and such. Just kind of surreal and funny.
posted by primalux at 12:53 PM on November 30, 2012


My favorite sendup of makeup videos is Glowpinkstah, who is also delightfully sweary, does pop culture stuff (Avatar makeup! Human Centipede makeup!!?), is fascinated by Japanese trends like Ganguro and "bagelheads," and mocks the makeup-tutorial genre as much as she does pop culture.

I'm in my mid-30s and generally haven't ever worn makeup -- maybe mascara and Burt's Bees lip color when I feel like I'm way too tired. I recently discovered to my bemusement that my students (call them the "raccoon generation," my grunge-era ass does not understand the overdoing-it-with-eyeliner going on these days) had decided I'm eight years younger than I am. Sometimes I wonder whether that's because I haven't worn out my face by scrubbing makeup off everyday; sometimes I think it's just that I make up for grey hairs and aging skin with gale-force enthusiasm.
posted by gusandrews at 2:45 PM on November 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


sixohsix, if you want to see something even more incredible, hang out with a drag queen (or queens) as they get ready. The moment your brain switches to "I am now talking with a woman" is really odd. You know that they are not, but if, as drag queens they are good enough, your brain ends up doing flips.
posted by Hactar at 3:14 PM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's like a video they would show you at a goth spa.

I would love to go to a Goth spa.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:27 PM on November 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


I like how the girl having her makeup done had a larger expressive range than Kristen Stewart.

Totally my favourite makeup video. Part One.
posted by Solomon at 3:49 PM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Glowpinkstah is THE SHIT. I don't watch make-up videos, could care less. BUT!

She's amazing. And fierce as a thousand suns!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:02 PM on November 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


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