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Self-Opening Boxes, Crazed Santas, Humping Reindeer and Many Turkeys
December 6, 2012 11:28 AM   Subscribe

This year, don't mail a card, email a "Christmas Gif".
posted by oneswellfoop (46 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
yesssss
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:31 AM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's 1994 all over again.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:32 AM on December 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Dear mefites who have unwisely given me their email addresses: I'M NOT SORRY FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO.
posted by elizardbits at 11:34 AM on December 6, 2012 [12 favorites]


In the spirit of the season, I'll overlook the assumed hard G and just express my appreciation for Birthday Jesus.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:38 AM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


[comment about mispronunciation ruining the joke]
posted by pbump at 11:38 AM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


[continued gif pronunciation derail]
posted by komara at 11:45 AM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Would love to use some of these, but, sadly, Mail.app doesn't gif. Or do ye merry gentlefolk know some special fix?
posted by progosk at 11:46 AM on December 6, 2012


Wonder if Matt will allow img tags for this thread...
posted by MtDewd at 11:54 AM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


In the spirit of the season, I'll overlook the assumed hard G and just express my appreciation for Birthday Jesus.

I think you meant to say "Birthday Gesus."
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:56 AM on December 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


...express my appreciation for Birthday Jesus.

I was at a Christmas parade last week, and when the Christian fundamentalists' school float passed, all done up as a Nativity scene, I yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!" I haven't been given mass stinkeye like that in quite some time.

posted by Capt. Renault at 11:57 AM on December 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


I think you meant to say "Birthday Gesus."

He's my favorite of the Gesuses.
posted by Cash4Lead at 11:59 AM on December 6, 2012


Well, I'm just going to take my Jifts and leave this party...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:01 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


oh my god, the dithering....
posted by schmod at 12:02 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Birthday Gesus."

He of the ghoties and the loaves.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:04 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Anyone who knows me knows that I am of the belief that there is only one correct e-card to send at Christmas. Every Christmas. Forever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:10 PM on December 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


[comment pertaining to the use of html formatting in email and how it's worse than talking at the theater]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:24 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


King of the Gews
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:28 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


What happens when you say Birthday Gesus three times?
posted by mannequito at 12:30 PM on December 6, 2012


Michael Keaton leaves the room?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:33 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but he comes back as a zombie snowman.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:35 PM on December 6, 2012


Is there one that combines identity theft, obamacare, supporting the troops, and subtle racism? It's for my grandmother.
posted by orme at 12:35 PM on December 6, 2012 [15 favorites]


Some of these are really horrifying. Does Eudora display gifs? I want to santabomb my old man.
posted by Joe Chip at 12:51 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


No, I'll stick with cheesy Merry Christmas or Happy Hollydays or Chanukah as appropriate.
posted by francesca too at 12:52 PM on December 6, 2012


Speaking of which, here is a "deterministic finite automata (DFA)" for all the different ways to spell Chanukah. Wish I'd had it when I had Jewish friends...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:02 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Few of these would be appropriate for my dear old grandmother. Thanks for nothing, asshole.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:11 PM on December 6, 2012


One way to spell Hanukkah.
posted by inigo2 at 1:38 PM on December 6, 2012


Metafilter, it's time for me to rejift this delight of Xmas Animation. A shiny quarter to anyone who can manage to make it all the way through without gashing their own throat open with a jagged stone or the nubs of their chewed-off fingers!

the original unearthing of this necro-horror, original link is dead but cannot die
posted by FatherDagon at 1:39 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


GIF pronounced "JIF" you know for Jraphics Interchange Format. Yeah, that holds together. All speakers of the English language, does it really matter? JOD NO!, whoops I mean GOD NO!
posted by PipRuss at 1:43 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is why we need a Metafilter house style guide.

It's hard G people. Hard G.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 2:08 PM on December 6, 2012


I reiterate my standing offer to literally fight anyone who pronounces it like the peanut butter.

we will be using those squeaky plastic hammers.
posted by elizardbits at 2:50 PM on December 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


Okay, we have discussed the pronunciation of 'gif' before and before and before and turtlesallthewaydown, and it will obviously not be settled here. We haven't even come to consensus how to pronounce "Mefi" (although 'Meffy' is WAY too close to 'Yiffy' for my taste).

This thread is for Christmas-y things. Artistic Christmas-y things.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


elizardbits: I reiterate my standing offer to literally fight anyone who pronounces it like the peanut butter.

Do you mind if I pronounce your name eee-LYE-zard-BEE-tays? Or do you have some affection for the "correct" pronunciation?

The people who created the .gif format named it and set the pronunciation and it doesn't matter how much you hate it, there's one official right way.

I look forward to our fight. I was going to say "broadswords in a pit" but the hammers are fine by me.
posted by komara at 2:59 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fuck the Internet.
posted by bongo_x at 3:00 PM on December 6, 2012


Do you mind if I pronounce your name eee-LYE-zard-BEE-tays?

Not at all, that is in fact the correct pronunciation.
posted by elizardbits at 3:03 PM on December 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


The people who created the .gif format named it and set the pronunciation and it doesn't matter how much you hate it, there's one official right way.

You do know how the creators of SCSI think it should be pronounced, right?

Because I bet you disagree with THEM.

Images do now have feelings about how their format is pronounced, so your argument doesn't work.
posted by flaterik at 3:04 PM on December 6, 2012


I also knew, sadly, that this thread would be about people who have terrible ideas about pronunciation instead of the actual subject. Stop ruining the internet, peanut butter pronouncers
posted by flaterik at 3:05 PM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Images do now have feelings about how their format is pronounced

Is this the result of the strong-AI image macro singularity? When did it happen?
posted by hattifattener at 3:28 PM on December 6, 2012


My final argument for NOT pronouncing it like the peanut butter: I'm allergic to peanuts. No GIF, animated or not, no matter how gruesome or garish or poorly made, has ever sent me into anaphylactic shock or even caused me to break out in hives*. So PLEASE do not conflate the two.

*I have experienced some negative reactions, but nothing that could be explained by 'allergy.'
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:31 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fuck the Internet.

First you'll need to find a bag of flour huge enough to roll it in.
posted by squalor at 3:37 PM on December 6, 2012


Do.. not. Not. I missed my edit window!
posted by flaterik at 3:38 PM on December 6, 2012


Mail.app doesn't gif

Mine does. Are you sure you're pronouncing it correctly? It may not understand you.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:44 PM on December 6, 2012


No GIF, animated or not, no matter how gruesome or garish or poorly made, has ever sent me into anaphylactic shock or even caused me to break out in hives*.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
posted by Strange Interlude at 4:06 PM on December 6, 2012


These are great, thank you.
posted by smoke at 4:09 PM on December 6, 2012


GIFS ARE THE ARTFORM OF OUR TIME AND I LOVE THEM ALL THX
posted by dame at 10:02 PM on December 6, 2012


Anyone who knows me knows that I am of the belief that there is only one correct e-card to send at Christmas. Every Christmas. Forever.

Oh dammit, I fell for this AGAIN.
posted by naoko at 5:27 AM on December 7, 2012


Do you mind if I pronounce your name eee-LYE-zard-BEE-tays? Or do you have some affection for the "correct" pronunciation?

I tend to pronounce it like a yorkshire man whose cat has dragged in a dead, torn apart newt:

ee, lizards bits!

If I'm wrong I don't want to be right.
posted by MartinWisse at 6:38 AM on December 7, 2012


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