R2-D2, We Wish You a Merry Christmas

December 9, 2012 11:56 AM

Tony says to me, “Why don’t you try little Jon”. Well, all right, let’s try him. And after just the first few notes out of his mouth I said, “Yes! This is him. This is the one! This is the one who should sing it”. He had this cute little voice - he was still a kid, and his voice really hadn’t even come down in pitch yet. It was still a little high but he had a great feeling for it. And of course, we all know what this little kid went on to do – he became one of the biggest rock and roll stars of all time. Jon Bon Jovi's first professional recording: R2-D2, We Wish You a Merry Christmas

[Quote above from interview with Meco Monardo – the man behind the pop versions of our favorite Star Wars themes.]

posted by klausman (18 comments total)

I am guessing, without bother to check the credits, that this song was not written by Desmond Child.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:03 PM on December 9, 2012

Wait, does this mean that I have to stop loving "R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas" because someone popular was on it?

Because I don't know if I can do that. I might have to throw out my hipster card instead.

(You don't understand, people, Christmas In The Stars is AMAZING.)
posted by Katemonkey at 12:10 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

For those who do bother to check the credits, here's the full listing at Discogs. (There are no songwriting credits listed.)
posted by hippybear at 12:11 PM on December 9, 2012

I'd like to think the droids would celebrate Saturnalia, actually.
posted by Glinn at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Alternate universe: "Why don't you try Lil Jon"
posted by nertzy at 2:49 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Tony says to me, “Why don’t you try, Lil' Jon?" "WHAT?" I said. Tony says, "Lil' Jon?" "WHAT?" I reapeated. Tony asked, "Would you sing it, Lil' Jon?" I replied, in the affirmative, "YYYYEAAAAH!"
posted by evidenceofabsence at 2:53 PM on December 9, 2012 [12 favorites]

I believe he's listed as "John Bongiovi." I know this because I have at one time owned it.
posted by Madamina at 3:26 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Listening to the "Christmas In the Stars" is pretty much exactly like watching the Star Wars Xmas special. You really really want it to be so hilariously awful that it's awesome, and for a little while you can pretend to yourself that it is, but before side 1 is half over you realize it's just dreary, depressing, bottom of the barrel crap churned out by bored 2nd rate studio musicians.

I'll grant that there's a couple of songs on it that might go well on a Xmas mix CD for that certain someone who will appreciate an absurdity like "The Odds Against Christmas Being Christmas" (spoiler alert: they're 365 to 1, according to C-3P0). But to say it's AMAZING? I gotta call bullshit on that.
posted by the bricabrac man at 4:52 PM on December 9, 2012

Wait, does this mean that I have to stop loving "R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas" because someone popular was on it?

Because I don't know if I can do that. I might have to throw out my hipster card instead.


Nah, just say that you really liked their early stuff back before PolyGram signed them to Mercury Records and they became mainstream. You can still say "In and Out of Love" was the start of their downfall.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:13 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

R2 is the reason for the season.
posted by salishsea at 6:01 PM on December 9, 2012

R2 is the reason for everything.

(Really, I had a very stoned half-dream once back before the prequels where I envisioned that the entire scope of the Star Wars 9-film series was going to be that R2D2 was actually an assassin device which had been created to destroy the source of the Sith, and the first movie was going to start with the activation of R2D2 and C-3PO and would over the 9 movies would trace their bumbling path toward R2's final (and preprogrammed) goal of getting to the Sith source and he would then detonate or something and accomplish his mission and destroy C-3PO along with himself and the Sith and that would be the end of the series. Seriously, it was awesome.)
posted by hippybear at 6:29 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

On a related note: Years ago on one of those Bay Area "plays Christmas music 24-7" radio stations, I heard a song that SOUNDED LIKE it was related to the Star Wars Christmas Special, but wasn't actually in it. It does reference the Wookiee Christmas dilemma, though. It kind of sounded like it was sung by robots. The chorus was pretty generic-- "Merry, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, to who? Take a guess, yes yes, Merry Christmas to you!"-- but in between, there'd be random bits about "Here is a hammer, without a head. So when you miss the nail you'll never hit your thumb instead" and "Here is a robot, that builds itself....something on your toy shelf."

This was the Wookiee bit:

"What should we get the Wookiee for Christmas? He already has a comb, you know."
"We have finally found the perfect gift!"
"What is it?"
"Here it is! A brush!"
"Perfect!"

If ANYONE ELSE HERE has ever heard of this song or knows where to find it, PM me. I've failed utterly at finding it via Google, and I want it for my infinite collection of terrible holiday tunes, but as far as I know the only existing copy is on some random cassette tape at my mom's and may never be found.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:48 PM on December 9, 2012

Jenfullmoon, that seems like exactly the sort of thing someone on AskMe would magically know in 7.9 milliseconds.
posted by flaterik at 11:36 PM on December 9, 2012

This?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:47 AM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

Nope, that isn't it. But if you ask, well, everyone assumes it's this song. Oh well.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:49 AM on December 10, 2012

From the same album: What do you get a wookie for christmas (When he already owns a comb) - uh, you will NOT want to miss this.
posted by flug at 11:00 AM on December 10, 2012

uh, you will NOT want to miss this.

The Force is not strong with this one.

But if you ask, well, everyone assumes it's this song.

It does kinda have the exact lyrics you mentioned - lyrics that, quite frankly, are pretty bloody unlikely to be in two different songs. Why are you so sure it's something else?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:25 AM on December 11, 2012

jenfullmoon, how about this? (Same album apparently.)
posted by fussbudget at 6:55 AM on December 11, 2012