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December 20, 2012 11:03 AM   Subscribe

It's no secret that eleven-time Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte has given some less than stellar interviews, but did you know that he's also terrible at commercials? [MLYT]

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posted by Krazor (37 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
I get the joke...but what athlete doing a commercial doesn't sound like they're making a proof of life video?

Lochte is no better or worse than most of them.
posted by inturnaround at 11:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


I give this post three swims.
posted by modernnomad at 11:07 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yes but look at his butt. It is magical.
posted by elizardbits at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2012 [10 favorites]


I just watched that youtube link collecting clips of interviews thought to be terrible and I'm confused, Ryan Lochte is obviously AWESOME at interviews.
posted by Blasdelb at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


but what athlete doing a commercial doesn't sound like they're making a proof of life video?

He says he drinks Coke but he's blinking in morse code about Pepsi.
posted by The Whelk at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've cut commercials starring Lochte. You will not find them on my reel. It was rough.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:11 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


elizardbits: "Yes but look at his butt. It is magical."

Are you telling me this as my grill cook? Because my grill cook wouldn't tell me that.
posted by boo_radley at 11:11 AM on December 20, 2012


I'm not thrilled that Seth McFarland is hosting the Oscars, but if he just did the whole thing doing his Ryan Lochte impression, I'd probably be okay. ("It feels weird to be dry" makes me laugh every time.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:12 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Oh man, moving the bottle around. Uncannily predicted by Spongebob.
posted by DU at 11:13 AM on December 20, 2012


The worst part about this is it's just the biggest JOKE BUS kind of comedy and it's the delivery that makes it.

"What can't you compete with?" BEEP BEEP HERE COMES A JOKE TOOT TOOT and you know it's coming and you know exactly what's coming and how he'll look and sound like and you see it coming and then you still laugh.
posted by boo_radley at 11:13 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm not thrilled that Seth McFarland is hosting the Oscars, but if he just did the whole thing doing his Ryan Lochte impression, I'd probably be okay. ("It feels weird to be dry" makes me laugh every time.)

"I was America in Olympics."
posted by infinitywaltz at 11:15 AM on December 20, 2012


I hadn't previously seen any interview footage of Lochte, so this all clears up the entry from him in my local rag's "letters to Santa" joke article.

Unless he's some stereotypical douchey jock jerk, I kind of feel bad about picking on him though.
posted by LionIndex at 11:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Unless he's some stereotypical douchey jock jerk, I kind of feel bad about picking on him though.
posted by LionIndex


Yeah, so do I. The good thing is, he's oblivious to our taunting just like the family cat is.
posted by Keith Talent at 11:27 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


And just as prone to showing people his butt.
posted by elizardbits at 11:28 AM on December 20, 2012 [6 favorites]


Uhh, cats are constantly running around showing everyone that happens to glance in their direction their actual anus, I'm not sure that's a parallel anyone wants drawn with Ryan.
posted by Keith Talent at 11:31 AM on December 20, 2012


Wait are you saying that your cat doesn't wear speedos?
posted by elizardbits at 11:34 AM on December 20, 2012


well maybe if your cat worked out a little
posted by boo_radley at 11:37 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


So that's a point that mocking him is okay (oblivious) and point against (he shows us his butt), right?

That seems about right as I'm always going back and forth on the Lochte mocking despite finding it hilarious. Sometimes it seems just a bit mean spirited. And then I think he's a super hot, rich guy still setting new world records and I think it doesn't matter. Then I read that he gives his non-Olympic medals away to kids in the stands waiting for autographs. Then, when searching for that link, I read his most recent tweet: "I am looking forward to being a part of the big surprise DEC 30th in Vegas @HootersCasinoLV see you there"

In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast. Thank you.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:41 AM on December 20, 2012 [14 favorites]


Unless he's some stereotypical douchey jock jerk, I kind of feel bad about picking on him though.

He is. He really is. His mom talks about how he just likes one night stands. He is regarded by other jocks as kinda dumb and uncomplicated. It is totally okay to pick on Ryan Lochte. Besides, he has all those abs to keep him company.

(My credentials: I know a lot of swimmers; some of them know him.)
posted by dame at 11:54 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ryan Lochte is obviously AWESOME at interviews.

I would say "adorable" at interviews, proper usage be damned, but yeah. General sentiment seconded.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:59 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


When I think of perfect marketing for USA Swimming, Lochte and Phelps don't springboard to the top. Their athletics accomplishments are some of the most impressive in all of history, but there is a limit to how far that can be marketed when Lochte wears grills and get photgraphed looking halfway stoned, and Phelps looks a bit slovenly and HAS been photographed getting stoned.

Bring me back some Janet Evans, Summer Sanders, Matt Biondi and Tom Jager.
posted by lstanley at 12:05 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


He portrayed himself as a Sex Idiot on 30 Rock, I think he can deal with jokes about how he's dumb.

Incidentally, I found it fascinating how desperate the 2012 Olympics coverage was to try to make him a star because, dumb as he is, he's a rock star next to the black hole of charisma that is Michael Phelps.
posted by Copronymus at 12:07 PM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]


I miss Ian Crocker. (He still has a solid reputation, right?)
posted by book 'em dano at 12:11 PM on December 20, 2012


Bring me back some Janet Evans, Summer Sanders, Matt Biondi and Tom Jager.

In any other era Natalie Coughlin would've gotten much more attention. And she seems like a really nice person.

I was surprised it took until this OOOOOs for people to realize that Lochte was a little spacy. But yeah, I'll take that over the indulged manho known as Phelps any day.

And his 30 Rock appearance was very funny.
posted by NorthernLite at 12:27 PM on December 20, 2012


He is. He really is. His mom talks about how he just likes one night stands. He is regarded by other jocks as kinda dumb and uncomplicated.

That's kind of the distinction I mean. If he's just dumb and uncomplicated, I don't see that as a reason to pick on the guy if he's decent otherwise. If he's not decent otherwise or is parlaying his dumb uncomplicatedness into lasting fame beyond his athletic accomplishments, then yeah, I don't have a problem with picking on him a bit, and it seems like that's what's going on anyway, so carry on.
posted by LionIndex at 12:33 PM on December 20, 2012


Yeah, dumb and uncomplicated doesn't mean he's a bad guy. I've known dumb jocks who were mean, but I've also known some who were decent or event sweet.
posted by Area Man at 12:48 PM on December 20, 2012


He's dumb and kind of a douche but maybe also kind of sweet in a dumb, douche-y sort of way.

Bring me back some Janet Evans

Also, when I was growing up, my dog's veterinarian was Dr. Evans, father of Janet Evans (and my lizard's veterinarian was the partner of the father of Janet Evans). So that is a thing that happened, also.
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:36 PM on December 20, 2012


>"Unless he's some stereotypical douchey jock jerk, I kind of feel bad about picking on him though."

>>"He is. He really is. His mom talks about how he just likes one night stands. He is regarded by other jocks as kinda dumb and uncomplicated. It is totally okay to pick on Ryan Lochte. Besides, he has all those abs to keep him company."

So its ok to pick on him because you don't approve of his his expression of his sexuality, you see his intellectual ability as somehow less than yours, and he isn't sufficiently hipster? These all seem like profoundly terrible and fucked up reasons to make fun of anyone and I'm shocked to see this kind of sentiment go unchallenged here; FFS. He has got his abs, money, and Olympic medals and he obviously isn't some kind of victim in need of our help or anything, but fuck, this whole making fun of him thing can't possibly have somehow escaped him and that shit has got to get old fast.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:38 PM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


Related: google image search for 'ryan lochte's designed shoes'
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:06 PM on December 20, 2012


I have to give Mr. Lochte props for his Olympic longevity. As an eleven-time medalist, he has been competing (and placing!) for 44 years. Unless he competes in both summer and winter sports, in which case he has been competing for at least 22 years. Prodigious!
posted by Nomyte at 2:50 PM on December 20, 2012


Yeah, I don't know if the "I'd hit that " type of comment is something I want to see make a return to mefi.
posted by modernnomad at 2:53 PM on December 20, 2012


we can certainly make an exception with ryan.
posted by liza at 7:45 PM on December 20, 2012


As an eleven-time medalist, he has been competing (and placing!) for 44 years.

I see your pedantry and raise you: 40 years.
posted by LionIndex at 8:17 PM on December 20, 2012


His real interviews are amazing in a way the parody can't really touch. For one thing, his answers are more elliptical and endearing than just dumb. Like the one that goes, "What defines me? ...Ryan Lochte." (If you think about it, it's really a way better response than "perserverance" or whatever BS answer the interviewer was going for.)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:06 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also he was genuinely funny on 30 Rock.
posted by en forme de poire at 9:07 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh man. He gave an unintentionally hilarious interview to Outside magazine or some such fitness rag before the Olympics where he basically said "yeah, I always knew I could be a really good swimmer but I ate a lot of McDonalds and drank a lot and was kinda fat and out of shape for most of my career. hahaha. So I quit eating Big Macs for breakfast and now I'm better than Michael Phelps. That's all it took! Crazy! I guess I should have done it sooner."

I thought he'd be hunted down and killed by a pack of middle aged triathletes before he ever made it to London.
posted by fshgrl at 9:28 PM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]


JEAH!
posted by iviken at 5:41 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


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