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I say no to meth. *grin*
December 21, 2012 10:26 AM   Subscribe

"Prison is full of people who have never rollerskated" (SL Friday YT)
posted by roomthreeseventeen (31 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
That is the best ad of all time. Plus the kids that says no to meth looks like he might be high on meth. He looks like a little Jessie Pinkman.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:30 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Rollerskating prevents unplanned pregnancies? Man was I ever wrong to get my hopes up at those middle school parties.
posted by DU at 10:30 AM on December 21, 2012 [9 favorites]


I think the actual adorable quote is, 'Prison is full of people that has never rollerskated." Then awkward smile.
posted by thecjm at 10:31 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, man. I was totally hoping for a follow-up to this video where someone started a roller-skating rehab program for inmates ... sigh.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:37 AM on December 21, 2012 [12 favorites]


Is there an extension or add on that hides all Rhett and Link clips?
posted by SkinnerSan at 10:44 AM on December 21, 2012


Yeah, plus do I want my kids hanging out in a facility with a bunch of unrepentant gangsters, drug dealers and molesters? (Local community Centre exempt from previous statement.) I pick my kids up after skating and spy hip-hop-gang-banging grandpa? They're never going back.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:45 AM on December 21, 2012


I first saw this on a list of worst ads and I took as definitive proof that the list was flawed.
posted by RobotHero at 10:50 AM on December 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wait -- so someone opened a roller rink in 1999, and it is still in business?

Wonder who they're laundering for.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:53 AM on December 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Just when America looks like it's hit rock bottom, we produce gold like this. Thanks America!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:04 AM on December 21, 2012


Good, uh... good call casting yourself as a child molester, Mr. Roller Skating Rink Owner. I will be bringing all of my children to your place of business soon.
posted by cthuljew at 11:12 AM on December 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


Man, what the hell.

How is this not a link to a video of some kind of an event where a warden took their inmates to a roller rink for christmas? With wobbly inmates all careening around on wheels and awkwardly clinging to each other and laughing at the disco ball?
posted by kavasa at 11:19 AM on December 21, 2012 [11 favorites]


"How is this not a link to a video of some kind of an event where a warden took their inmates to a roller rink for christmas? With wobbly inmates all careening around on wheels and awkwardly clinging to each other and laughing at the disco ball?"

That is EXACTLY what I thought I was going to see....and am likewise disappointed at seeing only cute kids, none of which fell down.
posted by HuronBob at 11:42 AM on December 21, 2012


I am giving up my life of crime right now.
posted by john wilkins at 11:50 AM on December 21, 2012


Reefer? How old is that kid?!
posted by kamikazegopher at 11:56 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who thought that the rink owner looks a bit like Brian Posehn?
posted by symbioid at 11:57 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know roller skating is a gateway activity to skateboarding, right? Gangs are FULL of skateboarders! They even show it in the ad!
posted by orme at 12:24 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe we should give up this life of crime and start rollerskating?!

or

Maybe we should continue to prey on children VIA rollerskating?

Love the "unplanned pregnancies". I don't think he's ever seen a vagina.
posted by stormpooper at 1:20 PM on December 21, 2012


It's not "fake" per se, but we do all realize it's "bad" on purpose, right? As noted above, it's created by "Rhett and Link" who seem to be semi-professional makers of "clever" videos.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:24 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


mrgrimm: "Oh, man. I was totally hoping for a follow-up to this video where someone started a roller-skating rehab program for inmates ... sigh."

Well, presumably the criminals with roller skates managed to evade arrest and consequent conviction.
posted by pwnguin at 2:34 PM on December 21, 2012


Two things that are true about me: I roller skated as a kid, a teen, and an adult...and I have never taken drugs or gone to jail. Not even once. That's all I'm sayin'.
posted by davejay at 3:20 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Two things that are true about me: I roller skated as a kid, a teen, and an adult...and I have never taken drugs or gone to jail. Not even once. "

ya know, given a choice.... That's all I'm sayin'......
posted by HuronBob at 3:50 PM on December 21, 2012


Love the "unplanned pregnancies".
That was the one that got me. I'm still trying to diagram how rollerskating prevents unplanned pregnancies. So far, I still think it's logistically possible.
posted by J.W. at 3:56 PM on December 21, 2012


"I'm still trying to diagram how rollerskating prevents unplanned pregnancies."
You know how they say "you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd"? Same reason…
posted by Pinback at 4:04 PM on December 21, 2012


While we can snark all we want, rollerskating was the bomb. I wish it would come back with a fever. I get their point. Better to roll and bounce than to hang on a street corner and do nothing. Plus, it's exercise!

*they tore down my favorite rink back in 98 and put up a Saturn dealership. When Saturn went bust I laughed. TAKE THAT! KARMA IS A BITCH!.

I still curse them for destroying my childhood.*
posted by stormpooper at 5:45 PM on December 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


You know roller skating is a gateway activity to skateboarding, right? Gangs are FULL of skateboarders!


IT IS TRUE!
posted by louche mustachio at 6:58 PM on December 21, 2012


Back in the 80s, it was a strong rumor that my hometown roller rink owner was a creeper. I think this was true of about half of the roller rink owners in the United States. However, the roller rink in Superior is still awesome. Homeschoolers go to that place every week. It was pretty funny when my atheist homeschooling kid was proselytized at as he careened around, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" "Nooooooooooooo."
posted by RedEmma at 8:03 AM on December 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


I bet they're right next door to My Anime Superstore.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:50 PM on December 22, 2012


I love how the 'rough gangster' waits for the older guy to go first through the door. Not exactly method...
posted by maiamaia at 4:46 PM on December 22, 2012


Oh, and listen to 'the roller rink the roller rink' or whatever it's called off (that crazy soul hiphop chick with the colourful hair who was marrying Nas last time i heard) her first album.
posted by maiamaia at 4:49 PM on December 22, 2012


"Rollerskating prevents unplanned pregnancies? Man was I ever wrong to get my hopes up at those middle school parties."

No, you missed the emphasis in how the guy said it. It was: "Roller skating prevents unplanned pregnancies."
posted by eviemath at 5:39 PM on December 22, 2012


Cal Skate 1977-2011
posted by ctmf at 12:12 PM on December 23, 2012


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