Bring the kids down! But don't let 'em touch nuthin'.

December 25, 2012 3:38 AM

Time to put the presents under the tree! Oh no, that tree looks like a limp dick!
posted by solotoro (9 comments total)

I even got one of these uhhh meshugganah misfuckah...

Brilliant.
posted by cthuljew at 4:17 AM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]

We've been celebrating the birth of Jesus for what, 2000 years? He must be getting bored with that.

Next, let's throw a surprise birthday party for Jesus!

We'll do it on December 24, because Jesus won't expect that. We'll all hide, and when Jesus shows up for the next Coming, we'll all jump out and yell "surprise!"

Don't tell his dad, because that fucker is omniscient.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:28 AM on December 25, 2012 [2 favorites]

Don't put Xmas lights on a palm tree though.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:45 AM on December 25, 2012 [7 favorites]

I was a little suspicious at first, but the wide selection of tree varieties won me over. This guy is legit.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:09 AM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, this was a thing.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:39 AM on December 25, 2012

Don't put Xmas lights on a palm tree though

Ah yes, the organus ejacularus palm. Lovely species, very hardy.
posted by 1adam12 at 6:51 AM on December 25, 2012

I always wondered what christmas tree sellers did in the off season.
posted by orme at 7:03 AM on December 25, 2012

They sell fireworks it would appear. A license to print money.
posted by pdxpogo at 7:21 AM on December 25, 2012

And Zunes.
posted by Rhomboid at 2:24 PM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]