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Christopher Robin is a Sadist
January 4, 2013 10:59 AM   Subscribe

Flash Friday!!! It's Winnie The Pooh Home Run Derby! In Japanese! And insanely difficult!
posted by clorox (42 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
I haven't even clicked the link yet and my brain already hurts.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:04 AM on January 4, 2013


Here's the English version. A tip that some will miss playing - on the Stage select screen, there's a Status button, where you can turn the points you earn playing in to power-ups that make it easier to play the game.

This Reddit thread has a few tips on gameplay, oblig. sweary warning (although you'll know why if you play...)
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics at 11:05 AM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well I certainly now know how to write "foul ball" in Japanese.
posted by HumanComplex at 11:05 AM on January 4, 2013 [4 favorites]


Here's the English version.

From what I hear the English translation is significantly easier (and therefore not faithful to the original). And once you get the basic idea down you don't really need it to be in your language: Frustration is universal.
posted by clorox at 11:10 AM on January 4, 2013


Piglet has a mean fastball.
posted by Partial Law at 11:11 AM on January 4, 2013 [3 favorites]


Talk about going deep in the Hundred Acre Woods.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 11:14 AM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Piglet has a mean fastball.

Wait until you see Kanga and Roo's changeup. Even when you know it's coming you can't wait for it long enough.

God damn Macropodidae.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:16 AM on January 4, 2013


The foul lines are invisible and the balls are called foul before they even land.

SHENANIGANS!
posted by mrgrimm at 11:20 AM on January 4, 2013


I had no idea about the status thing when I was playing this all day yesterday so I dumped all my points at once and I'm worried that the Hundred Acre Wood press will think Pooh is on steroids, 'cause he's crushing it now.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:23 AM on January 4, 2013 [3 favorites]


I don't think I've sworn at Winnie the Pooh so much in my life. Swing that fucking bat you crazy bear!!!

The cutsey music seems designed to enrage when you keep striking out.
posted by helmutdog at 11:25 AM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait until you see Kanga and Roo's changeup.

Wow you're not kidding. I'm hitting around 1/3 of them, but I'm still about ready to charge the mound stump.
posted by Partial Law at 11:27 AM on January 4, 2013


Oh bother!
posted by stormpooper at 11:29 AM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Japanese version is easier for me. I'm getting contact almost every time, compared to a much lower ratio with the translated version.
posted by codacorolla at 11:31 AM on January 4, 2013


Oh hey, the sweet spot follows the mouse pointer. I kept wondering why Pooh was weaving back and forth.
posted by CancerMan at 11:41 AM on January 4, 2013


Doesn't seem that bad. I just got 10 home runs against the pink elephant.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 11:49 AM on January 4, 2013


fuck piglet, fucking cheater.
posted by ennui.bz at 12:03 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Doesn't seem that bad. I just got 10 home runs against the pink elephant.

I was thinking the same thing til I got to stage 4 with Kanga and Roo, whose pitches wiggle in the air making the fast ones really tough to hit. If they later stages get even tougher I could see it being pretty bad.
posted by DynamiteToast at 12:05 PM on January 4, 2013


Sorry, but I've just played through the first four levels and I don't see why this is supposed to be hard. You move your guy with the mouse. You want to hit the ball with the sweet spot that is the green dot, which is not that tricky - it's just a timing game since the green dot tracks your mouse movement.
posted by mightygodking at 12:06 PM on January 4, 2013


Okay, this owl is just fucking with me. I have work to do.
posted by Partial Law at 12:16 PM on January 4, 2013


I certainly didn't expect Satan to be the final boss.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:19 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


this is the dark souls of disney flash games.
posted by jonbro at 12:26 PM on January 4, 2013


For Owl, aim at the leftmost part of the wiggle.
posted by sensate at 12:28 PM on January 4, 2013


Many is the day in which I have opened my window and yelled "FUCK YOU, Piglet. FUCK YOU in your little pink bacon hole."

Today is the first day in which it has been justifiable.
posted by delfin at 12:30 PM on January 4, 2013 [4 favorites]


Sod this, I'm going back to Pooh sticks.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:31 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


For Owl, aim at the leftmost part of the wiggle.

The first time I saw Owl I said no fair, but then I just crushed 25 homers off him for 57,000 points so fuck off, Owl.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:56 PM on January 4, 2013


For Owl, aim at the leftmost part of the wiggle.

In general, go for the opposite field (just count 1 past your regular swing).

Look how closed Pooh's stance is, and that dirt area past the left-field field is foul territory, I believe. I've certainly pulled some monster 160m+ balls to left but I've certainly put more in the left-hand river, and all of my "cheap" homers go to center or right.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:58 PM on January 4, 2013


I refuse to accept "sometimes doesn't do anything when I click the mouse" as a valid means of a video game achieving difficulty.
posted by gurple at 1:05 PM on January 4, 2013


Well, this means I'm going to have to code up Sanrio Test Cricket Challenge, just to frustrate and infuriate the Japanese. Watch out for Badtz-Maru's googly!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:09 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I would like a Tangled-themed version of this where you hit things with a frying pan.

It would not necessarily have to be a skill game.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:32 PM on January 4, 2013


The foul lines are invisible and the balls are called foul before they even land.

SHENANIGANS!


Well, they are playing in England. We have to a little leniency since the game's not part of their culture.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 1:51 PM on January 4, 2013


It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means...
posted by R. Schlock at 2:03 PM on January 4, 2013


Kanga and Roo, wtf.
posted by Vibrissa at 2:06 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can only consistently get between five and seven home runs off of Owl. Having perused the Reddit thread, I think I'll quit before I get to Tigger and Christopher Robin.
posted by Curious Artificer at 2:14 PM on January 4, 2013


I refuse to accept "sometimes doesn't do anything when I click the mouse" as a valid means of a video game achieving difficulty.

You have to click and hold the mouse button in order to complete a swing.
posted by jedicus at 2:16 PM on January 4, 2013


I actually found Tigger to be a much more fair challenge than Owl. With Tigger you can usually figure out why you didn't get a clean hit, but with Owl it just seems to be much more luck-based.
posted by clorox at 2:18 PM on January 4, 2013


Tigger is a whole new type of difficult. It's not just his special throw, which all the characters have had so far- it's getting 28 home runs out of 40 tries. Compare that to all the previous requirements, which are at most slightly more than half.

Tigger demands consistency when figuring out the gimmick (and having a bit of luck) was enough for everyone else.
posted by Maxson at 2:32 PM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Piglet's super distracting delivery makes him the Hideo Nomo of the Hundred Acre Wood, which I suppose makes a lot of sense in the end.
posted by Copronymus at 2:58 PM on January 4, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think that according to MetaFilter rules I can't even tell you the name I just called Owl.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:07 PM on January 4, 2013


Tigger is a whole new type of difficult.

Yeah, Tigger is a beast. It's not that you can't hit 12-15 home runs in a row off him, it's just that every once in a while you'll get out of sync (because the balls are fucking INVISIBLE) and miss 4-5 pitches in a row and then you're pretty much done.

Everything up to Tigger was pretty rote. Get to Kanga and Roo, play Heffalump twice to level up; get to Tigger, play Rabbit (or Owl - I fucking own Owl) twice to level up ... but Tigger man. Just too many misses...
posted by mrgrimm at 12:13 PM on January 7, 2013


Tigger is totally unfair but getting down to my last miss and then running off 12 straight home runs on the final 12 pitches to reach 28 was entirely too satisfying.

Now, Christopher Robin, that's some bullshit.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:21 PM on January 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Have any of us beaten this damn thing yet? I finally got past Owl, but I don't think I'll ever be able to even connect with 28 of Tigger's invisible pitches, much less knock them out.
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:50 PM on January 10, 2013


33/40 on Christopher Robin is my best attempt thus far.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:11 PM on January 10, 2013


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