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Don't bait Richard Marx, not in his town
January 9, 2013 10:45 AM   Subscribe

Edward McClelland made a crack on his blog about 80s pop star Richard Marx. He didn't expect Marx to respond....
posted by Chrysostom (138 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
It goes on a bit before getting to the Marx part, but it picks up then.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:45 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I read TMN every day and didn't click on this the first time around. Glad to see it here.
posted by troika at 10:56 AM on January 9, 2013


This guy was obviously not familiar with the Richard Marx classic "Hazard." He'll swear he left you by the river, left you safe and sound. But he might have killed you. Because that boy's not right.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:57 AM on January 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


Guy still doesn't explain how Richard Marx is shameless.
posted by adipocere at 10:57 AM on January 9, 2013 [10 favorites]


This was great, thanks for posting. How did I go to high school in the early 1980s and not know/remember who Marx was?
posted by maxwelton at 10:57 AM on January 9, 2013


I guess this is an occupational Hazard.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:57 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Richard Marx is a bit of a jerk, it sounds like. Chill out, Richard Marx.
posted by Mister_A at 11:00 AM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


The bitchslapping is apparently still going on at this very moment. Mefi and AVClub are generating enough traffic that McClelland and Marx are going at each other on Twitter. Again.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:00 AM on January 9, 2013


adipocere: "Guy still doesn't explain how Richard Marx is shameless."

Yeah, but it don't mean nothin, the words that they say. It don't mean nothin', these games that people play. No, it don't mean nothin', no victim, no crime. No it don't mean nothin', ('till you sign it on the dotted line).
posted by Chrysostom at 11:01 AM on January 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo, Zeppo, Richard

And I always thought there were just 5 of them....
posted by HuronBob at 11:04 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


They're both douches.
posted by empath at 11:04 AM on January 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


Guy still doesn't explain how Richard Marx is shameless.

Yeah, that was a bummer. They just shake hands and the author apologizes? Is the point that one should not call Richard Marx shameless for fear of having to apologize at a public location?

Believable Yes, but a bit of a let-down. They story was really about him becoming a regular at a local bar. Which is a noble pursuit but sort of a switch from the title.
posted by Hicksu at 11:04 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Richard Marx twitter.

Edward McClelland twitter.
posted by nevercalm at 11:05 AM on January 9, 2013


The AOL bit is a fine, fine bon mot.
posted by Greg Nog at 11:06 AM on January 9, 2013 [36 favorites]


Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo, Zeppo, Richard

You forgot Karl, comrade.
posted by entropicamericana at 11:08 AM on January 9, 2013 [11 favorites]


“I’ve been getting emails from some guy who says he’s Richard Marx,” I said. “I think it’s an impostor. The only thing that makes me think it might really be Richard Marx is that it’s from an AOL account.”

LOL
posted by brundlefly at 11:10 AM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


The average age of the patrons was dead.

I used to live on Sherwin Avenue a block over from this bar and I can attest that this is true.
posted by enn at 11:10 AM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oh man, Richard Marx. Years ago I was responsible for a friend missing a RM concert to which she had bought tickets. It's a subject we still avoid. To this day she has never thanked me.
posted by R. Mutt at 11:10 AM on January 9, 2013 [20 favorites]


Or what Greg Nog said.
posted by brundlefly at 11:10 AM on January 9, 2013


The whole "This insult is different than others from the past, because this one is in my home town, where my whole family can read it" thing from Marx is kinda weird. Like Marx thinks only people from Chicago can read blogs written by people from Chicago.

Maybe it's just a bad paraphrase from the author, but in any case it's weird.
posted by Flunkie at 11:11 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Guy still doesn't explain how Richard Marx is shameless.

He does, though:
Had I given it more thought, I would have written that Richard Marx was the kind of musician who wouldn’t be ashamed to record anything he thought would sell a million copies. But I didn’t want to say that to his face.
posted by Etrigan at 11:13 AM on January 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm just going to ahead and say it. Christina Hendricks is shameless, and if she doesn't like me saying it, she can darn well just come out to a bar and have drinks with me to tell me so.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:13 AM on January 9, 2013 [63 favorites]


And here I always thought Billy Joel was the shameless one...
posted by jferg at 11:14 AM on January 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


Richard Marx was literally the first song I heard on CD-ROM. I wil never forget it because I logged out of Windows and somehow the song was still playing and I couldn't figure out where the music was coming from. Can you imagine the shock? This must've been 20 years ago.
posted by phaedon at 11:14 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


For Mr. Marx: Here's what the author meant when he called you shameless:

He is indicating, in this offhand way, that he believes that the cliché cheesiness of "See You in Chicago" would be too much even for the cheesy power ballad bands he mentioned, but would be A-OK with you. He's saying you're cheesy, you dolt!
posted by Mister_A at 11:16 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


This guy was obviously not familiar with the Richard Marx classic "Hazard."

All joking aside, I loved that song. Minor keys! Three videos! A miniseries of intrigue and regret! When VH-1 was your world (hi, I grew up Extremely Sheltered), that was the Best.
posted by psoas at 11:17 AM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Richard Marx only has 40K followers on Twitter? How is that even possible? Did he call out a million other people and make them unfollow?
posted by empyrean at 11:18 AM on January 9, 2013


This happened to me on Twitter. I was making some joke about how I wished they would reboot "The Love Boat" again so I can see Tim Gunn and Felicia Day hanging out with Captain Casper Van Dien. Now, because I did not @ him, it would seem that Van Dien is a very adept and avid vanity searcher because he responded with "Really, man?" a few hours later.

I totally let down Casper Van Dien. I feel bad. I really do think he'd do a great job as Captain on The Love Boat.
posted by inturnaround at 11:19 AM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Of course Marx is shameless; his first hit was an advertising jingle, for goodness sakes!
posted by TedW at 11:20 AM on January 9, 2013


now I have "is Richard Marx really buff" and "could Richard Marx beat up a guy" in my google search history.

(FYI, Richard, I live in Denver so I think we're OK)
posted by boo_radley at 11:20 AM on January 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Richard Marx is the most shameless man is shame town.
If you're reading this Richard meet me at The Blue Oyster Bar this evening at midnight and lets resolve this issue like real men.
posted by Damienmce at 11:25 AM on January 9, 2013


And here I always thought Billy Joel was the shameless one...

Also Garth Brooks.
posted by Jahaza at 11:29 AM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


This could spin into a rejuvenation of Richard Marx's career, a la Rick Astley, if he plays it right. All it would take is having a sense of humor about yourself. Oh wait.
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:30 AM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Richard Marx loves to advertise. (via)
posted by blue_beetle at 11:31 AM on January 9, 2013


inturnaround: "I totally let down Casper Van Dien. I feel bad. I really do think he'd do a great job as Captain on The Love Boat."

He totally would. Hey, if they can bring back Dallas, why not?
posted by brundlefly at 11:32 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's a hilarious story.
posted by ph00dz at 11:33 AM on January 9, 2013


Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh-no.

Oh, wait...
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:34 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is why celebrities should have PR people, and why they should consult them before doing things like this through social media.

Even if the author didn't intend it, he benefited from a technique that has especially been exploited in rap, but, in music, is quite old -- the public feud. If you can goad somebody already famous into fighting with you, you benefit from the publicity, and they end up seeming really petty while your status increases, because, after all, you got the big guy to respond.

This is precisely what Die Antwoord did with Lady Gaga. Had they just opened for her, as she wanted, they would have perhaps picked up some Gaga fans, but they would have been in her shadow. By picking a public fight with her, and goading her into responding, they got a lot more traction, and it was entirely on their terms.

This pop music technique dates back at least as far as the answer song, although that's a more playful version. And I know that Oscar Wilde deliberately picked public fights with other authors to benefit from the publicity. He actually made a huge fuss about the character Bunthore from the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta Patience, which he claimed was based on him (probably not). As it happened, he shared an agent with the main actor in the cast, and so they set up the opportunity for him to travel America with the show, the entire time pretending that he was trailing it to defend his good character, both he and the show benefiting from the public feud.

If you're going to feud with a nobody, make sure you're doing it because you want to help their career. Otherwise, the rule of thumb in PR is "never punch down." Marx looks like a fool here, and the writer gets bragging rights about how he met Marx in a bar and didn't back down from calling him shameless, which is a characterization of Marx that few would object to.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 11:34 AM on January 9, 2013 [40 favorites]


All joking aside, I loved that song. Minor keys! Three videos! A miniseries of intrigue and regret! When VH-1 was your world (hi, I grew up Extremely Sheltered), that was the Best.

I can beat this. I owned "Hazard" on cassingle. Eleven-year-old me was not the most astute consumer of pop culture.
posted by Rangeboy at 11:39 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


This whole affair is all covered with dick marks.
posted by COBRA! at 11:40 AM on January 9, 2013 [14 favorites]


I hated the Jew joke. Come on, is that really funny? Isn't that antisemitic?
posted by Omnomnom at 11:42 AM on January 9, 2013


Dick Marks is a classy guy, leave him alone.
posted by boo_radley at 11:42 AM on January 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


You do realize that we here at Metafilter will not be satisfied until Richard Marx pays his $5 like everyone else to come at us?
posted by Kitteh at 11:44 AM on January 9, 2013 [11 favorites]


This guy's lucky. I once insulted the "Walking In Memphis" guy on twitter; said he should try shutting the fuck up in Memphis, for a change.

Dude broke into my house. Totally wrecked up the place. Smashed all the plates. I'm pretty sure he peed in my VCR.

But that guy's a pussycat compared to Bruce Hornsby. He's got a blackbelt in karate. I heard he once shot a guy in the stomach just for looking at him funny.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:49 AM on January 9, 2013 [15 favorites]


Holy shit. I suspected Richard Marx was a gigantic jackass, but REALLY.

“Nobody has a thicker skin than I do,” Richard Marx said.

What a fucking idiot? To whom else is "shameless" a mortal insult. It's a glib, humorous descriptor, like "oh you nut" ... beyond bizarre. The fact that it makes

Man, I really hated Richard Marx (for "Don't Mean Nothing" as much as the HORRIBLE post-prom ballads) in the '90s and now I don't feel bad about it at all.

“I’ve been getting emails from some guy who says he’s Richard Marx,” I said. “I think it’s an impostor. The only thing that makes me think it might really be Richard Marx is that it’s from an AOL account.”

My editor had been a waiter at a pizzeria in Lake Bluff, where Richard Marx ate with his family.

“He was a terrible tipper and a real douche,” my editor said. “We used to argue about who had to serve him. His wife is taller than he is.”


I wonder if Richard Marx is smart enough to realize exactly how stupid he was here.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:50 AM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


You do realize that we here at Metafilter will not be satisfied until Richard Marx pays his $5 like everyone else to come at us?

I agree with the bar patrons; we should insult someone more interesting.

Paul Krugman is shameless.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 11:51 AM on January 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


I'm not sure whether or not I envy the kids these days who get to grow up with the ability to nearly always see who the artist is for whatever song is playing, whether it be on an SiruisXM display, the internet, or a music channel on your satellite TV. I've heard that Right Here Waiting song countless times in my youth, and I still had to go find the youtube video in order to place it in my memory; same goes for Hazard. Until I did, I was thinking "Richard Marx? Who is that?". Honestly, it's songs like these that I've never cared enough to look up the artists for. I wouldn't necessarily call them bad, just...not something I care either way about. The same type of songs exist today, but I already know who the artist is long before I even have a chance to not give a shit.
posted by mysterpigg at 11:52 AM on January 9, 2013


This is weird: my understanding was Marx was pretty Internet-savvy. He seems funny enough on Twitter, but the "insulting me in my town" thing is both incredibly thin-skinned and myopic (unless Marx won some kind of WWE Chicago SummerSlam when Ditka was hospitalized).

I wound up rooting for no one in that article.
posted by yerfatma at 11:56 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


inturnaround: "I totally let down Casper Van Dien. I feel bad. I really do think he'd do a great job as Captain on The Love Boat."

He totally would. Hey, if they can bring back Dallas, why not?


I'm from Buenos Aires, and I say film 'em all!
posted by adamdschneider at 11:59 AM on January 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


This guy's lucky. I once insulted the "Walking In Memphis" guy on twitter; said he should try shutting the fuck up in Memphis, for a change.

Dude broke into my house. Totally wrecked up the place. Smashed all the plates. I'm pretty sure he peed in my VCR.
At my workplace, we refer to him as "the guy who got shot in the head in Denver". It probably says something about my workplace that we have had multiple conversations about him.
posted by jferg at 12:00 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Weird, I swear I read something almost exactly like this many years ago, like around 2004 or so, and I could have sworn it was also Richard Marx (I could be getting 80s soft rock guys mixed up). This entire story reads like something I have heard before but I can't find it anywhere.
posted by mathowie at 12:01 PM on January 9, 2013


Atom Eyes: "This guy's lucky. I once insulted the "Walking In Memphis" guy on twitter; said he should try shutting the fuck up in Memphis, for a change."

"Oh, transport me, Marc Cohn!"
"I feel like I actually am walking in Memphis!"

posted by Chrysostom at 12:10 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I met a guy in a bar who claimed that he'd hung out with Darius from Hootie and the Blowfish, at Darius' house. He says that he put one pubic hair on the bar of soap in the bathroom. THAT'S douchey; writing a nasty remark about an old pop singer is par for the course.

Although, the "in my hometown, where my kids can read it" thing makes no sense. Does the Internet in Chicago stop at the city limits? Marx may as well have demanded an explanation "out of respect for my Father".
posted by thelonius at 12:11 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hey that woman who played Dejah Thoris in John Carter is shameless. Boy I wish I'd discovered this trick earlier!
posted by Mister_A at 12:13 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I guess it maybe got printed in alt-weekly tabloid also. Never mind.
posted by thelonius at 12:14 PM on January 9, 2013


Weird, I swear I read something almost exactly like this many years ago, like around 2004 or so, and I could have sworn it was also Richard Marx (

Well, I don't know about your story, but "Richard Marx...do you remember him... is kind of an asshole" is one of those things that it seems everybody in the northern suburbs (where he's from) knows and anybody who lives in the city proper eventually picks up via osmosis even if they don't remember how -- like knowing that the Edens Expressway is Interstate 94 or that the drunk people heading north on the Metra at 5 pm on a weekday are going to a concert at Ravinia.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:14 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


And here I always thought Billy Joel was the shameless one...

He is. There's room enough at the top (or, in this case, bottom) for both.
posted by she's not there at 12:14 PM on January 9, 2013


It was only while reading this article that I realized I've had Richard Marx confused with Bryan Adams for decades now. This has in no way affected my life.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:17 PM on January 9, 2013 [20 favorites]


McClelland and Marx are going at each other on Twitter. Again.

Can somebody who groks Twitter just pull the interesting quotes for us? Every time I try to read Twitter feeds directly, I find it completely incomprehensible.
posted by Chuckles at 12:21 PM on January 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


“Well, then you can’t relate. You called me shameless in my hometown, where my family can read this.”

That was a douchey thing to say, especially since Richard Marx is married to a model and I’d woken up alone that morning. I let it pass, though. I wasn’t there to start another argument.
So Richard Marx is a douche... because McClelland doesn't have a significant other? Guy strikes me as kind of a dink. And yeah, he still hasn't explained how Marx is shameless.
posted by usonian at 12:23 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Also, for the record, since the whole thing was inspired by the Marx-penned Chicago tourism anthem "See You In Chicago", here's what some other assholes on the Internet said about it back in April. (We avoided mention Richard Marx at all, which may have saved us a lot of wrath.) The original AV Club article in the link is gone but trust me, the song is shit, even -- maybe especially -- as a marketing jingle, and this is coming from someone who believes the following:

I can beat this. I owned "Hazard" on cassingle. Eleven-year-old me was not the most astute consumer of pop culture.

To be clear so did I. And I was older than 11. I think we pretended to like it ironically but I also think, after listening to it for the first time in probably 20 years, it's a pretty good song.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:28 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Does apple release daily/weekly sales figures.

Because it'd be interesting to see if there was any jump in downloads of whatever soft rock hit Richard Marx is famous for.

(not being facetious, I know who he is and I'm sure I'd remember the song once I heard it)
posted by madajb at 12:29 PM on January 9, 2013


You know who is shameless? David Bowie! He even changed his name because a monkey got to it first...and that whole Ziggy Stardust glam schtick!? Shameless. So, Mr Bowie, if you want to come to Northern Michigan and call me out...well, I know this great restaurant that serves amazing Bloody Mary's and cajun food. I'll buy!

Oh, and happy belated birthday to you, sir.
posted by Mojojojo at 12:29 PM on January 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


This brought back fond memories of a road trip in college to go see Warren Zevon ... who shamelessly was OPENING for Dick Marx. I cannot begin to tell you all of the deluge of people heading for the doors when Zevon was done playing!
posted by mctsonic at 12:33 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


At my workplace, we refer to him as "the guy who got shot in the head in Denver".

Things to do in Denver When You're Almost Dead.
posted by yerfatma at 12:37 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


“I’ve been getting emails from some guy who says he’s Richard Marx,” I said. “I think it’s an impostor. The only thing that makes me think it might really be Richard Marx is that it’s from an AOL account.”

Ooh, burn.
posted by jonp72 at 12:42 PM on January 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


Guy still doesn't explain how Richard Marx is shameless.

I disagree. I think the most direct statement in the article to that explanation is this passage:

Had I given it more thought, I would have written that Richard Marx was the kind of musician who wouldn’t be ashamed to record anything he thought would sell a million copies. But I didn’t want to say that to his face.

But the meaning is laced throughout the entire article. Richard Marx is shameless because he will produce music because it will sell, not because it is good. In that vein, he is shameless, that is, he feels no shame for performing bad music that's designed not to be good, but to sell.
posted by ruthsarian at 12:43 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I've heard that Right Here Waiting song countless times in my youth

For years that was my go to song sitting on the toilet, if the old plumbing was a bit slow: #right here waiting for poo.

As well as that Bonnie Tyler classic: #it's an hard egg, nothing but a hard egg.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:45 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


ruthsarian: "Richard Marx is shameless because he will produce music because it will sell, not because it is good. In that vein, he is shameless, that is, he feels no shame for performing bad music that's designed not to be good, but to sell."

Well, the article seems to indicate that he doesn't think his music is bad. In which case, he has poor critical faculties, but can't be expected to feel shame.
posted by Chrysostom at 12:52 PM on January 9, 2013


“You should send him an email and tell him you’ll be right here waiting for him,” Paddy suggested.

LOL
posted by Ratio at 12:58 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Thank you for the disconcerting and debilitating 80's flashbacks at the mention of this guys name...

The horror... the horror...
posted by incandissonance at 12:59 PM on January 9, 2013


Because it'd be interesting to see if there was any jump in downloads of whatever soft rock hit Richard Marx is famous for.

I know I've gone back and listened to several of his songs on Spotify since reading the OP.
posted by asterix at 1:04 PM on January 9, 2013


Marx looks like he needs to lay off the bath salts in his wiki profile pic. I knew his niece when we were in junior high, at the height of his fame. I don't know that I've ever known someone to be as simultaneously proud and embarrassed as she was about her uncle.

Seriously, his music is just terrible.
posted by item at 1:05 PM on January 9, 2013


"I will be RIGHT HERE WAITING to fuck you up, chief!"
posted by Senor Cardgage at 1:05 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


"You SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER than to fuck with the Marx Brothers...thats what I call my fists."
posted by Senor Cardgage at 1:05 PM on January 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'd certainly attend a Warren Zevon seance just to see who else shows up.
posted by surplus at 1:14 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Richard Marx played a concert in my town. Our receptionist, a very kind woman in her sixties, found out about it and mentioned it to someone. This person told her I lived in that town and perhaps I could get her tickets.

"Jim?", she said?

"Yes."

"I hear you live in [town]. Richard Marx is playing there. Can you get me a ticket?"

Apparently the only way to get Richard Marx tickets is to know someone who lives in a town where he is playing, and this woman is the kindest person on Earth, so I said I would see what I could do.

"Sure. How many?" I asked.

"Just one."

This was just about the saddest thing anyone has ever said to me. I actually considered taking her, since I knew she's the sort of person who would be lost trying to find a small theater in a suburban town and the thought of her sitting in the place alone was pretty sad, but this is Richard Marx we're talking about so I was not really up for taking one for the team in this case.

That day I got off the train, stopped by the box office, and bought her a ticket.

"It's... um... not for me. Seriously, this single ticket for Richard Marx is not for me. It's for someone at work."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

The next day I slapped the ticket on her desk. You would think I just bought a teenage girl a backstage pass to Justin Beiber. She jumped up, started cheering and yelling, ran around her desk to me, grabbed me, hugged me and kissed me.

It seems Richard Marx is her favorite person in the universe.

Long story short, she found the theater, saw the show, got his autograph, got to talk to him and even give him a hug. This was pretty much the highlight of her life and I was happy to be a part of it.

I don't know what the point of this story is other than to say the guy who wrote this sounds like kind of a dick and I bet he's never brought 1/10th of the joy to anybody that Mr. Marx brought to our receptionist.
posted by bondcliff at 1:18 PM on January 9, 2013 [72 favorites]


For years that was my go to song sitting on the toilet, if the old plumbing was a bit slow: #right here waiting for poo.

As well as that Bonnie Tyler classic: #it's an hard egg, nothing but a hard egg.


I am a flatulent fan of Feargal Sharkey singing "A good fart these days is hard to time".
posted by srboisvert at 1:24 PM on January 9, 2013


767 comments and no mention of Jude Cole?

... and is "shameless" really that much of an insult? I take it on par with "you're an animal!" or "you're incorrigible" ... ?

... and isn't it fucking obvious what he meant by "shameless," i.e. "you have no shame in releasing disc after disc of shitty music" ... ?

... which nearly 1,000,000 other bloggers have said in one way or another since 1995 ... ?

So why is Richard Marx so mad?

If you’d written you hated my music, that’s cool. Like I could give a shit. But saying I’m “shameless” calls into question my character and integrity.

I do not grok this. The man is a recording musician. Wouldn't "shameless" (without any other context) refer to his recording work, i.e. his "music"?

So Marx is mad that the other dude (McKenzie?) impugned his character by implying that Marx knew his music was bad and kept releasing it or that he intentionally released bad music b/c it would sell better (disregarding the fact that no one (or almost no one) has the ability to make intentionally bad music that sells) ... I see use case #1, maybe. Use case #2, no.

So, again why is Richard Marx so mad? Is this some sort of tag-team publicity stunt. That's what I must conclude.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:26 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


For years that was my go to song sitting on the toilet, if the old plumbing was a bit slow: #right here waiting for poo.

♫♪♫ ... twice on the pipe if the answer is no ... ♪♫♪
posted by mrgrimm at 1:28 PM on January 9, 2013


Richard Marx's tweet about the tampons was sexist as fuck. Not cool, Mr. Marx.
That said, I don;t think he's shameless; he seems to like making music and making money. Okay.
posted by pointystick at 1:47 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Marx has sold 30 million records and his first seven singles cracked the top five.

McClellan is a music snob with a blog readership somewhere in the three digits who would go down on Richard Marx if it meant he would achieve half of Marx's success in the music business.
posted by DWRoelands at 1:48 PM on January 9, 2013


Dear Richard Marx,

I got you this.
posted by youandiandaflame at 1:54 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


his first seven singles cracked the top five.

Not in France (or the UK ...)!

Don't forget about France!
posted by mrgrimm at 1:58 PM on January 9, 2013


Wow, the writer mocked Richard Marx, AOL, and let Mr. Marx and his readers know several times that he was into Punk Rock in the 80’s. What a badass.
posted by bongo_x at 2:10 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wow. Isn't slagging on Richard Marx sorta on the same level as trashtalking Boy Meets Girl?

Bring down the moon, my ass!
posted by Afroblanco at 2:11 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Marx was one of my favorite musicians for a long time... *ducks tomatoes* ;)

More interestingly is the side notes about status and celebrity in all of this - the idea that making music to be popular is bad, for example; the whole tangled mess of responding to criticism and how different people view different responses and their effect on social status; the alteration on the media landscape which enables things like this to be more broadly visible - I was going to say for non-celebrities to repeatedly slag on more famous people, but someone who blogs and writes and etc... could be called a minor celebrity (in a world where bloggers can be on CNN, how are we defining celebrity?).
posted by Deoridhe at 2:17 PM on January 9, 2013


Rangeboy: All joking aside, I loved that song. Minor keys! Three videos! A miniseries of intrigue and regret! When VH-1 was your world (hi, I grew up Extremely Sheltered), that was the Best.

I can beat this. I owned "Hazard" on cassingle. Eleven-year-old me was not the most astute consumer of pop culture.
I got that beat: I loved the song "Don't Mean Nothin'", so to my everlasting shame Richard Marx's eponymous debut album was the only vinyl record I ever bought with my own money.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:35 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


> The average age of the patrons was dead.

There are a fair number of dive(-y) bars in my neighbourhood. They fall into two categories; the ones where the people inside are talking with each other, and the ones where each customer is there alone, staring into the bottom of whatever it is they're drinking.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:40 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


“Why couldn’t you have insulted someone cool?” he asked me. “Like Iggy Pop or Keith Richards?”
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:44 PM on January 9, 2013


I just remembered that someone gave me Repeat Offender, on tape, as a Secret Santa gift that year. I spent the entire Christmas party trying to figure out which of my co-workers at the golf course a) knew so little about me they thought I might like it, or b) hated me that much.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:13 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Surreal Life turned into a gross schadenfreude mess, but I watched the first couple of seasons and I remember thinking that it was interesting and kind of valuable how it showed you what being a faded, d-list celebrity could do to a person, how it could damage them and drive them crazy with frustration. Even the people who were notorious douchebags, like Vanilla Ice, were still people. They could be jerks, but you got some insight into why they were jerks, and you saw that they weren't just jerks. That even if Ice totally went off on somebody inappropriately because they asked him to do a few lines from Ice Ice Baby, he was really reacting to a decade of constant mockery, that almost everywhere he went people were hitting him with this "ridiculous white rapper from 1990" stuff and his every attempt to move on had been a failure.

Marx is a gazillionaire, but he became rich making music that a lot of people hated. As time passed he's become sort of a punchline, and being a punchline is not the happiest gig, no matter how well it pays. I don't think he's handled himself very well in this incident, but I think McClellan should've left it at their meeting in the bar and then gotten on with his life. Marx's honor clearly means a lot to him, this wasn't about criticism of his music, he felt personally attacked. He went into this bar full of McClellan's friends, ready to fight, and they parted on (relatively) good terms. Let it go, already.

Right Here Waiting
was crap. But let's be honest, Hazard did kind of rock.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:30 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I do not grok this. The man is a recording musician. Wouldn't "shameless" (without any other context) refer to his recording work, i.e. his "music"?

I don't know much re: Richard Marx as a person, but if I had to (ahem) hazard a guess, it'd be that some people have these weird moral code/trigger words/whatever it is that they just can't let it go.

It's almost like accidentally gravely insulting someone from another culture by doing something you aren't aware of, like accepting/not accepting a gift, or when to wear shoes. To most people "shameless" is one of those gelatinous adjectives that can be flavored to mean a number of things depending on context. However to Richard Marx, for whatever reason or internal philosophy known only to him, calling him "shameless" in his home town is beyond the pale.

People (usually men, I find) like this tend to be insecure Type As, who have so much invested in whatever persona they've developed to shove their way through life, that when someone says something that triggers their insecurity, they turns into Joe Pesci from "Goodfellas".
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 3:44 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Yeah, I was all ready to give Richard Marx the benefit of the doubt until I got to the tampon comment.
posted by triggerfinger at 3:52 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


thelonius: "I met a guy in a bar who claimed that he'd hung out with Darius from Hootie and the Blowfish, at Darius' house."

I know a guy who played golf with Darius. Now, this guy is one of the biggest sexist pigs I personally know, and he recounted the golf game thusly: "Jesus, that guy's a pig!"
posted by notsnot at 3:57 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Marx has sold 30 million records and his first seven singles cracked the top five.

McClellan is a music snob with a blog readership somewhere in the three digits who would go down on Richard Marx if it meant he would achieve half of Marx's success in the music business.


and which one of those people is the insecure one? the obscure guy who's being a snarky jackass or the guy who's so offended that an obscure guy was a snarky jackass to him?

well, i remembered the name but couldn't place music to it

something that isn't true for aldo nova, dan hill, hootie and the blowfish or andrew gold - or bobby goldsboro, god help me

no, this is based on the suppressed knowledge that your life's achievement can and will be summed up on a trivial pursuit card
posted by pyramid termite at 4:16 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Richard Marx married Penny from Dirty Dancing, right? I bet she is taller than him.

Both McClelland and Marx are weiners. I'm a little surprised at the magnitude of their weinerness, but not that it exists at all.

What I'm getting out of this, is a sense of relief that I'm not the only person who likes "Hazard".
posted by Coatlicue at 4:32 PM on January 9, 2013


Clearly, Richard Marx won't give up until he's satisfied.
posted by Afroblanco at 4:46 PM on January 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


What I'm getting out of this, is a sense of relief that I'm not the only person who likes "Hazard".

hmm - now what other artist sang a song about a river with a girl named mary with the same kind of beat and tempo?
posted by pyramid termite at 4:48 PM on January 9, 2013


I suspect either Last Dance with Mary Jane or Seven Mary Three's Water's Edge.
posted by khaibit at 6:11 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Richard Marx's music sucks, but Ed McClelland, the person, is a fucking asshole douche.
posted by dobbs at 6:46 PM on January 9, 2013


Afroblanco: "Clearly, Richard Marx won't give up until he's satisfied."

You might say he's in the... danger zone.
posted by boo_radley at 8:10 PM on January 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Of course Marx is shameless; his first hit was an advertising jingle, for goodness sakes!

And, if memory serves, his mother was the voice responsible for the memorable "Quaaasar!" jingle/voice thingy on the old Quasar television commercials back in the 70's.
posted by ShutterBun at 9:17 PM on January 9, 2013


it'd be that some people have these weird moral code/trigger words/whatever it is that they just can't let it go.

Like "chicken" in Back To The Future?
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:27 PM on January 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Atom Eyes: But that guy's a pussycat compared to Bruce Hornsby. He's got a blackbelt in karate. I heard he once shot a guy in the stomach just for looking at him funny.

That's just the way it is.
posted by dr_dank at 9:41 PM on January 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


bruce springsteen - the river
posted by pyramid termite at 9:51 PM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I guess I am getting older, because I empathize with Marx. The author seems like a jerk. It would be so easy to say, "sorry, I just meant your music is cheesy"

Instead he mocks his looks and repeats hearsay about the guy's tipping. Sure, Marx should have ignored it to begin with, but mocking Marx the person seems pretty lame.
posted by snofoam at 3:31 AM on January 10, 2013


Is it Marx's enormous success at self-promotion that makes you jealous and angry?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:12 AM on January 10, 2013


How many people think I'm actually Richard Marx writing about myself in third person?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:13 AM on January 10, 2013


You might say he's in the... danger zone.

That's Loggins, dude.
posted by acb at 4:55 AM on January 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wait, I just figured it out. Richard Marx is actually Otto! "And don't call me shameless!"
posted by jferg at 4:59 AM on January 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


the ones where the people inside are talking with each other, and the ones where each customer is there alone, staring into the bottom of whatever it is they're drinking.

But don't you get this feeling the bar in question is more the former except for the author who sits watching the hoi polloi like Jane Goodall with a beer?
posted by yerfatma at 6:21 AM on January 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


acb: "That's Loggins, dude."

No, Kenny Loggins sang Danger Zone. Richard Marx is in the danger zone.
posted by boo_radley at 8:14 AM on January 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Kenny Loggins : Sterling Archer : : Richard Marx : Cyril Figgis

the author who sits watching the hoi polloi like Jane Goodall with a beer

Well, I'm not this particular author, but I think I finally found a good title for my dream business card.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:19 AM on January 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


MCMikeNamara, I don't know Sterling Archer or Cyril Figgis but would like to open a satellite office of this hoi polloi watching firm
posted by ElGuapo at 9:17 AM on January 10, 2013


Dr. Dank:

Atom Eyes: But that guy's a pussycat compared to Bruce Hornsby. He's got a blackbelt in karate. I heard he once shot a guy in the stomach just for looking at him funny.

That's just the way it is.




Some things will never change.
posted by krash2fast at 12:16 PM on January 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's just the way it is.
Some things will never change.
I see what you did there.
posted by usonian at 12:41 PM on January 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


So Richard Marx is supposed to feel ashamed of his music because a lot of people didn't like it? Newsflash, a lot of people enjoyed it. And when your argument boils down to "those people are musically ignorant and their opinion is irrelevant", well, you kind of look like a douche. Marx comes across looking like a pretty big douche, sure, but he's out-douched by author dude. Which is pretty impressive, honestly.

And that crack about a Christmas album with Kenny Loggins which was only available at Target is like concentrated douche. It's like, how much more douche could he fit into this blog post? And the answer is none. None more douche.
posted by disconnect at 1:26 PM on January 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Marx is not a guy you want as an enemy. McClelland better sleep with one eye open. Wherever he goes, whatever he does, Marx will be right there... Waiting for him.

(See what I did there?)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:53 PM on January 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm going to sign up for twitter just so I can have a battle royale with Hall & Oates and REO Speedwagon.
posted by dr_dank at 6:56 AM on January 11, 2013


But.....but.....I love Jude Cole.
posted by 8-bit floozy at 4:46 PM on January 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


To be fair, Richard Marx has released a Christmas album, featuring Kenny Loggins. But not exclusively sold at Target.

Also, Richard Marx sort of looks like American Psycho-era Christian Bale, which I was not expecting.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:23 AM on January 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Edward McClelland has posted a followup on Salon.com. Best part: he quotes Bunny Ultramod's excellent observations from this thread:

"As a poster on Metafilter pointed out after I published my story, Marx consistently violates the public relations maxim “never punch down.”
posted by Walleye at 7:34 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think that the real takeaway from this article is that Richard Marx is a terrible tipper.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:59 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


he forgot to cite the part of metafilter that opine that the author is a douche. whatever the deal is with marx, the more pathetic aspect is how desperate this dude is to keep the story going. maybe someday the internet will grow out of the idea that if you can't get anywhere creating something, you can get attention tearing down someone who does. what a asshole.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 11:22 AM on January 19, 2013


So the Salon article mentions an appearance on a public radio show that Marx ditched. The host complained on the air, and Marx blew up on him. The host is honorary Mefite Rick Kogan, and you can listen to that segment here. Fred Armisen, the other guest, is surprisingly not snarky for a punk rocker/comedian.

DWRoelands: "McClellan is a music snob with a blog readership somewhere in the three digits who would go down on Richard Marx if it meant he would achieve half of Marx's success in the music business."

I really hate this kind of rhetoric.
posted by hydrophonic at 9:40 AM on January 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wow....Richard Marx thinks more of himself than anyone else does or has in years. If he wanted to keep it classy, he would have gracefully bowed out of the continuing invective he's spewing but instead....wow.
posted by Kitteh at 11:12 AM on January 20, 2013


Hey that woman who played Dejah Thoris in John Carter is shameless.

From the job description alone, it is impossible to argue otherwise.

And here I always thought Billy Joel was the shameless one...

Also Garth Brooks.


Neither: Neil Diamond for the trump.
posted by y2karl at 11:15 AM on January 20, 2013


Neil Diamond for the trump

Has Neil Diamond demonstrated shameless behaviour I'm not aware of?
posted by arcticseal at 2:25 PM on January 20, 2013


You know who is shameless? David Bowie! He even changed his name because a monkey got to it first...and that whole Ziggy Stardust glam schtick!? Shameless. So, Mr Bowie, if you want to come to Northern Michigan and call me out...well, I know this great restaurant that serves amazing Bloody Mary's and cajun food. I'll buy!

Oh, and happy belated birthday to you, sir.


I think you can just hire him.
posted by dumbland at 3:16 PM on January 20, 2013


In fact, Marx’s most popular album has sold more copies than any album by Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra or the Beach Boys.

Wow. How is that at all possible?
posted by salvia at 4:32 PM on January 20, 2013


In fact, Marx’s most popular album has sold more copies than any album by Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra or the Beach Boys.

Wow. How is that at all possible?


The emphasis wasn't on albums as much as singles in those performers' heydays.
posted by Etrigan at 7:44 PM on January 20, 2013


Edward McClelland has posted a followup on Salon.com. Best part: he quotes Bunny Ultramod's excellent observations from this thread:

I am become blue_beetle.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:44 PM on January 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Today, you became the poster-boy for Chickenshit-itis. Maaaan, if Richard Marx had written lyrics like that, maybe I'd have bought his Christmas album.
posted by not_on_display at 11:17 PM on January 20, 2013


Wow. How is that at all possible?

The emphasis wasn't on albums as much as singles in those performers' heydays.

Good point. Thanks, Etrigan.
posted by salvia at 12:39 AM on January 21, 2013


Bunny Ultramod: "I am become blue_beetle."

...destroyer of worlds?
posted by Chrysostom at 6:09 AM on January 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Has Neil Diamond demonstrated shameless behaviour I'm not aware of?

... didn't he remake the Jazz Singer?!?!

SHAMELESS!

i remembered the name but couldn't place music to it

something that isn't true for aldo nova, dan hill, hootie and the blowfish or andrew gold - or bobby goldsboro, god help me


i shant link to Hootie. I SHANT!
posted by mrgrimm at 1:19 PM on January 22, 2013


that makes me want to compile a B List of Better Singer-Songwriters Than Richard Marx™

Gilbert O'Sullivan
R. Dean Taylor
Jonathan Edwards
Albert Hammond
Freedy Johnston
Richard Buckner ((fuckin') A list?)

And I'm now thinking of the A List ...

Elliot Smith
Sinead O'Connor
Paul Simon
Leonard Cohen
Tom Waits
Bruce Springsteen
Joni Mitchell ("this is called a DUL-cim-er")
...
and um, OK, well, maybe (maybe) Dylan

... and Robyn Hitchcock, of course ...

... and David Hasselhoff ... of course?
posted by mrgrimm at 5:49 PM on January 22, 2013


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