Morgan Freeman

January 11, 2013 9:28 AM

Morgan Freeman: Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman

posted by gwint (30 comments total)

With bonus eyebrow!
posted by Burhanistan at 9:31 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Anybody else singing "Morgan Freeman" to the Amadeus part of "Rock Me, Amadeus"?

Hmm, well, never mind then.
posted by mollweide at 9:43 AM on January 11 [3 favorites]

You're missing a "MorganFreeman" tag.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:44 AM on January 11

Organ Freemoan
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:49 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Fearmonger man?
posted by boo_radley at 9:52 AM on January 11

Malkovich malkovich.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:54 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

What's all this then, eh?
posted by Mister_A at 9:55 AM on January 11

Mystery Meat.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:59 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Yeah, Freeman is a hunk, and kind of mysterious!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:03 AM on January 11

Does exactly what it says on the box.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:13 AM on January 11

I thought the True Facts About Hedgehogs one was funny, but if you consider the two of them together, you begin to suspect that they're being autogenerated somehow. I think it's the line about unicorn tears that gives it away.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:14 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD AND DON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN, METAFILTER!

Who will read my funeral stuff? Really.
posted by Mezentian at 10:18 AM on January 11 [2 favorites]

No one.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:20 AM on January 11

Metafilter: Morgan Freeman, Gordon Freeman, The Fremen
posted by blue_beetle at 10:30 AM on January 11 [7 favorites]

I knew this was fake at the very beginning, where he says he was in someone else's mother's womb:

He narrated his own birth, saying, "Leaving the warm comfort of his mother's womb, I, Morgan Freeman, entered the world."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:30 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

I like to think that Craig Ferguson's pal Geoff made this in his spare time.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:34 AM on January 11 [2 favorites]

So is this that Josh Robert Thompson guy?

Titty Sprinkles. [NSFW for the word "titty" being said]
posted by chavenet at 10:40 AM on January 11 [4 favorites]

Wow, Ze does a really good Morgan Freeman impression. (Ze-est moment: "taco".)
posted by jiawen at 10:50 AM on January 11

Get busy snarkin, or get busy tryin'.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:56 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

"Earthquakes are merely Mother Nature having an orgasm when she listens to March of the Penguins. Penguins didn't exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie."

That was pretty solid.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:16 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Morgan Freeman is the new Chuck Norris.

_{It's better this way, really.}
posted by Malice at 11:28 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

And there's Morgan Freeman Narration by the excellently satirical Jon & Al Kaplan.
posted by raygirvan at 11:31 AM on January 11

"This post probably makes more sense to people who don't have the titles turned off," I thought to myself. [[Clicks link to see title.]] LOL!
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 11:48 AM on January 11

Until today I had no idea what titty sprinkles were but now I understand that they are what makes a cruel life worth living, a human understanding and goodness beyond accidents of life, a depth of meaning when all around feels empty, a signature of human kindness and a ray of sunlight precisely when things are at their worst.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 12:12 PM on January 11

You have just described alcohol.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:15 PM on January 11 [6 favorites]

Great conversation with Neil deGrasse Tyson on StarTalk!
posted by Glinn at 12:24 PM on January 11 [2 favorites]

We have manager reviews at work where they all get in a room and talk up the lower people to see who has potential for a promotion (aka talk shit session).

I want Morgan to talk shit about me to them.
posted by stormpooper at 1:32 PM on January 11

It's Ze Frank. Previous True Facts include hedgehogs, echidinas, sloths, and the angler fish.
posted by lazaruslong at 2:53 PM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Chuck Noris Morgan Freeman...
posted by Somnolent Jack at 9:53 PM on January 11

I guess it's unlikely that there'll ever be an appropriate time to post this South Park Morgan Freeman bit (NSFW narration) . . . not that it's really appropriate now.
posted by mangasm at 8:45 AM on January 12