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Also, you just paid $10 for sugar water and a bag of iffy popcorn
January 13, 2013 5:28 PM   Subscribe


 
Osama bin Laden was captured during the production of this movie

Is that what we're calling it now?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:38 PM on January 13, 2013 [11 favorites]


Whoever made the Beasts of the Southern Wild one seems not to have seen the film.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:41 PM on January 13, 2013 [7 favorites]


Weird, this is the second set of these I've seen. (And the other one was funnier.)
posted by Catblack at 5:45 PM on January 13, 2013 [5 favorites]




"Movie posters tell the truth" has been a meme for some time now. It's not even trying to jump the shark anymore, it's plowing right through it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:53 PM on January 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


Whoever made the Beasts of the Southern Wild one seems not to have seen the film.

Yeah. The College Humour one is more accurate.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:54 PM on January 13, 2013


"Movie posters tell the truth" has been a meme for some time now. It's not even trying to jump the shark anymore, it's plowing right through it.

You mean this?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:56 PM on January 13, 2013


Dear College Humor,

Michael Haneke is not French. He speaks french. There's a difference.

d.
posted by dobbs at 6:02 PM on January 13, 2013 [8 favorites]


When does something stop being a meme and start being a genre?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 6:03 PM on January 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


I thought "Fuck Canada" was clever.

Then I saw the College Humor one.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:04 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I Dreamed A Dream is the only song you know"

Oh god, if only. We just got back from this movie and sat in front of someone who sang along with the whole goddamn movie. Badly.
posted by odinsdream at 6:05 PM on January 13, 2013 [9 favorites]


Wow, these are uniformly terrible.
posted by smoke at 6:10 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


And anyone still stuck on the L. Ron Hubbard aspect of The Master is someone who only read the press about it in 2011 and then nothing else.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:11 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


We just got back from this movie and sat in front of someone who sang along with the whole goddamn movie. Badly.

Relatives of Russell Crowe, perhaps?
posted by crossoverman at 6:20 PM on January 13, 2013 [9 favorites]


Relatives of Russell Crowe, perhaps?
Didn't he actually have a band at some point?
posted by smirkette at 6:24 PM on January 13, 2013


50 Odd Foot of Grunts. They opened for the Pretenders in Boston a few years ago.
posted by pxe2000 at 6:25 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't understand what "NEOOOOWWWW" means, can someone explain the gag?
posted by phaedon at 6:30 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


io9 today reported on a Something Awful photoshop poster challenge.

The Aliens one charmed me and I would pay money to see that movie.
posted by Mezentian at 6:34 PM on January 13, 2013


That noise you make to signify the sound of a jet plane going really fast.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:34 PM on January 13, 2013


Should add, io9 posted the best three. Many of the others just weren't doing it for me.
posted by Mezentian at 6:35 PM on January 13, 2013


50 Odd Foot of Grunts.

Only 30 foot, actually.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:39 PM on January 13, 2013


College Humor's better version

I'll take take some of one and some of the other.

Also dig the Frosties ref.
posted by Artw at 6:49 PM on January 13, 2013


The Aliens one charmed me and I would pay money to see that movie.

I say we grease this rat-fuck son-of-a-bitch right now!
posted by Artw at 6:51 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't understand what "NEOOOOWWWW" means, can someone explain the gag?

Were you never a child?
posted by Artw at 6:52 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


The popcorn is actually pretty delicious.
posted by history is a weapon at 6:57 PM on January 13, 2013


The Cinerama, downtown Seattle, the popcorn is fucking amazing.
posted by Artw at 6:59 PM on January 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Prepare to have the living shit inspired out of you."

Ahaha.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:06 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I make the best popcorn, at home, and bring it in bags. With jalapenos.
posted by phaedon at 7:06 PM on January 13, 2013


I appreciate the "Fuck Canada" one.
posted by Decimask at 7:28 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hunger Games didn't get any love?
posted by bukvich at 7:30 PM on January 13, 2013


"In actual proper 3D" is pretty much on the button for Life of Pi.
posted by jamincan at 7:43 PM on January 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hunger Games didn't get any love?

Here you go.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:45 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I thought the College Humor set was pretty dull, actually. I really like the honest trailers. The Hunger Games one was pretty much all the complaints people had about that movie. (But maybe it was just that I thought Peeta was horribly miscast too.)
posted by jeather at 7:48 PM on January 13, 2013


Never mind the sugar water and the popcorn; see a first-run film at a chain theater and get there in time to get a good seat, you'll have to suffer through 30 minutes of them shitting in your eye sockets and hammering tiny barbed dildoes into your ears in the form of horrid, endless long-form advertising for viler garbage than you ever knew existed.

The worst was the extended ad for the apparent return of "Cougartown" to some goddamn cable hinterland or other. It was skull-splittingly, psychotically bad and it just. wouldn't. stop.

Seriously, no movie is worth this. None.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:06 PM on January 13, 2013 [12 favorites]


:( Cougar Town is a good show. Dunno how TBS has been advertising though.

My local movie & dinner place's newest location actually has assigned seating. It's pretty awesome.
posted by kmz at 8:12 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


No ads for TV shows at our theater, just twenty minutes of trailers for movies that all look the same.
posted by octothorpe at 8:25 PM on January 13, 2013


In the post's spirit of honesty, I think the website you linked to should rename itself "Trying Too Hard."
posted by duffell at 8:27 PM on January 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


I totally want to see the BAD FLIGHT LIEUTENANT movie Flight is advertised and that it probably isn't.
posted by Artw at 8:35 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Rejected Zero Dark Thirty posters.
posted by dobbs at 9:32 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cougartown = winos. That's how they've been advertising it.
posted by DoubleLune at 9:47 PM on January 13, 2013


Never mind the sugar water and the popcorn; see a first-run film at a chain theater and get there in time to get a good seat, you'll have to suffer through 30 minutes of them shitting in your eye sockets and hammering tiny barbed dildoes into your ears in the form of horrid, endless long-form advertising for viler garbage than you ever knew existed.

Uhm. Or you could ignore the ads and text or something.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:45 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


(Most of these posters were pretty funny but I find Honest Trailers smug and lame. Go head and make your own movie if it's so damned easy, guys)
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:48 PM on January 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I saw "Daniel Day-Lewis Wants an Oscar" yesterday. Daniel Day-Lewis was phenomenal in it.
posted by graphnerd at 4:27 AM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Daniel Day Louis wants another Oscar.
posted by Iteki at 5:02 AM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Never mind the sugar water and the popcorn; see a first-run film at a chain theater and get there in time to get a good seat, you'll have to suffer through 30 minutes of them shitting in your eye sockets

Maybe where you live. I used to live across the parking lot from a first-run chain theater. I figured out that I could leave my apartment the minute the movie was scheduled to start, and by the time I got my ticket I'd be there just as the trailers started, after the godawful pre-trailer, non-movie advertising. Never had any trouble finding seats. I've since moved, but the same thing still applies. I just have to leave fifteen minutes earlier is all. Again, no trouble finding seats.

I think the conclusion is that small to mid-sized Midwestern cities tend to be over-served with things like movie theaters. That or everyone's going to see that shitty rom-com down the hall instead of whatever it is I want to see...
posted by valkyryn at 5:02 AM on January 14, 2013


Uhm. Or you could ignore the ads and text or something.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:45 PM on January 13


Tell you what, since you're more interested in rewarding that business model than I am, you can go ahead and do that for both of us.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:54 AM on January 14, 2013


Or you could ignore the ads and text or something.

That's pretty hard when the ads are playing on a giant screen in front of you at ear-splitting volume.

Cougar Town is a good show. Dunno how TBS has been advertising though.

In the Cougar Town ad I saw before a movie the cast was singing a really bad song about how they were back that went on for like 4 minutes.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 9:07 AM on January 14, 2013


Tell you what, since you're more interested in rewarding that business model than I am, you can go ahead and do that for both of us.

And you think you might have won by avoiding the theater? It's an empty victory. Somehow, somewhere, they will claw that 30 minutes out of you. Maybe when you're watching Youtube, it happens. Or maybe you sit in traffic one day and look up. Or maybe you're simply riding an elevator up to the 37th floor. And when you realize what's going on, it's too late. Cougar Town has found you.

But, you don't always have to lose in this war of memetic attrition. There are ways to fight back, there are weapons. They are a pair of headphones and a smartphone. Or a book if you want the low-tech version.
posted by FJT at 12:38 PM on January 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll kiss twelve bucks goodbye.
posted by squalor at 2:30 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Tell you what, since you're more interested in rewarding that business model than I am, you can go ahead and do that for both of us.

Cool, can I get your number? I'll text you what time Cougar Town is on.
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:47 AM on January 15, 2013


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