I am such a good spider.
January 14, 2013 2:39 PM   Subscribe

"I'm scratching, and I like to hide." SLYT. NSF arachnophobes.
posted by kinnakeet (44 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite

 
Is it arachnophobia week on Metafilter or something?
posted by schmod at 2:42 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was the first time I've considered something a spider did even remotely cute.
posted by zzazazz at 2:43 PM on January 14, 2013 [11 favorites]


Not bad without volume.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:44 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I quite liked the soundtrack. Fun!
posted by michellenoel at 2:47 PM on January 14, 2013


Will somebody please tell Steve Martin to stop with the Inspector Clouseau voice, already? It's a sound like spiders scratching in my brain.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:48 PM on January 14, 2013


That actually looked worse half-buried.
posted by nonspecialist at 2:50 PM on January 14, 2013


Spider!
posted by growabrain at 2:52 PM on January 14, 2013 [17 favorites]


On the plus side, no parasites crawled out of it.
posted by tommasz at 3:02 PM on January 14, 2013 [17 favorites]


YAY! That was super cute.
posted by Scientist at 3:04 PM on January 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


I've loved the cocaine .gif made from this for ages, never knew there was such a cute video to go with it.

Spiders are our bros.
posted by InsanePenguin at 3:06 PM on January 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


That was adorable.

And I'll go ahead and be the plant pedant who points out that the brown thing screen-left is a devil's claw pod.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:13 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jumping Spider Being Cute SLYT

They move like they are using stop motion animation.
posted by jjj606 at 3:15 PM on January 14, 2013 [12 favorites]


D'aww. Reminds of the cute little spider used in image macros.

But I can still barely stand to look at pictures of spiders' eyes for some reason.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:17 PM on January 14, 2013


Spiders are our bros.

I agree with this entirely. I greet my friendly neighborhood apartment spiders with a cheery "hello, spider friend!" and let them go about their business as I go about mine. However, spiders cease to be my bros or spider friends as soon as they pass the point of no spider return, which is 2-10 inches from my body (depending on size of spider. If it is one of those giant clock spiders or huntsmen or whatever, then the appropriate distance is me in North America, it in Australia).

This spider looks huge, and so the point of no return would probably be like a foot away from me. Though the way that spider moves is creepier without funny narration, so maybe the answer is to provide an internal monologue for the spider so I don't find it so creepy. I still don't like how spiders scuttle though.
posted by yasaman at 3:21 PM on January 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


Man I spent so long staring at the jumping spider's eyes in jjj606's video. This section of the Wikipedia article on salticids is really neat and includes an awesome diagram of the overlapping fields of vision that jumping spiders are afforded by their eight eyes. Super cool!
posted by Scientist at 3:33 PM on January 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


My instruments of choice for catching large spiders are a glass baking dish and a cookie sheet to slide under. I wonder what my neighbors think when they see me come out and flail baking tools away from me with a horrified cry and then retreat silently into the house.
posted by Morrigan at 3:35 PM on January 14, 2013 [20 favorites]


I like spiders. I don't like them in my hair, and I really don't like those brown recluse bastards. (Seriously, f those guys.) But your average house spider? I like 'em. They are cute! Skittering around on them fuzzy little legs...
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:59 PM on January 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


You can't hide your spider eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your spider eyes

posted by Elmore at 4:00 PM on January 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


The Lovecraftian Eagles would be so much more bearable.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:05 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not a spider lover, but oh that was really cute! He reminded me of this guy from Creature Comforts. He just wants his SPACE!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:10 PM on January 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, I'm digging in the sand
tryin' to hide from the man
I've got seven women on
my web:
Four that wanna own me,
Two that wanna stone me,
One that wants to bite off my head.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:19 PM on January 14, 2013 [14 favorites]


I am a friend to the spider. This was a fun vid.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 4:32 PM on January 14, 2013


I wonder what my neighbors think when they see me come out and flail baking tools away from me with a horrified cry and then retreat silently into the house.

"Our neighbor is very self-critical about baking. She should calm down a bit."

Oh, hell, she's throwing spiders at us!"
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:33 PM on January 14, 2013 [10 favorites]


creepycreepycrawlycrawlycreepycreepycrawlycrawly
posted by not_on_display at 4:39 PM on January 14, 2013


Sure, he hid from us, but how can he hide from the worm growing inside him?
posted by drezdn at 4:48 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Same way the rest of us do. He drinks too much, and yells at his kids.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:56 PM on January 14, 2013 [14 favorites]


OMG, jjj606, that is a really, really cute spider! Such big eyes! So cuddly! But the soundtrack doesn't really reveal what it wants to tell us (compared to the perfect v/o for the Scarface spider), so I found something that seemed more appropriate.
posted by maudlin at 5:04 PM on January 14, 2013


Never before have I gotten such a kick out of something I wanted to grind under my heel.
posted by digsrus at 5:25 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I hear that a lot.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:26 PM on January 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


Would be better with the Koyaanisqatsi soundtrack
posted by mattoxic at 5:46 PM on January 14, 2013


funny narration....thanks!
posted by eggtooth at 6:19 PM on January 14, 2013


jjj606: "Jumping Spider Being Cute SLYT

They move like they are using stop motion animation.
"

Jumping Spiders are some of my favorite things ever. Spiders are just so cool.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:35 PM on January 14, 2013


My instruments of choice for catching large spiders are a glass baking dish and a cookie sheet to slide under.


If I feel a spider needs relocation (which I usually don't, spiders are totes my little bros) but in the rare instance they need to be somewhere else, I find a pint glass and a sheet of cardstock is the least cumbersome form of arachnid transport. Also works for bats and chipmunks.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:35 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was adorable.

I LOVED the way that the voice-over got muffled when he was under the sand. :)
posted by blurker at 6:49 PM on January 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


That was ok because of the monologue. It still made me shudder
posted by zombieApoc at 8:20 PM on January 14, 2013


I'd like to see the voice over guy make this cute*.

warning: not cute (same spider though!)
posted by orme at 6:25 AM on January 15, 2013


spider and I know it
posted by garlic at 7:03 AM on January 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jumping Spider Being Cute SLYT

That video is just begging for a voiceover.
posted by ook at 7:44 AM on January 15, 2013


Spiders are the cutest animals. In your face, kittens!
posted by rainy at 11:27 AM on January 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


What exactly is the spider trying to do?
posted by jrochest at 7:26 PM on January 15, 2013


jrochest: "What exactly is the spider trying to do?"

The Hustle
posted by not_on_display at 4:58 AM on January 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


The soundtrack for jumping spiders is and always will be Cuban Pete.
posted by jamaro at 6:35 PM on January 18, 2013


Man I spent so long staring at the jumping spider's eyes in jjj606's video. This section of the Wikipedia article on salticids is really neat and includes an awesome diagram of the overlapping fields of vision that jumping spiders are afforded by their eight eyes. Super cool!
Physiological experiments have shown that they may have up to four different kinds of receptor cells, with different absorption spectra, giving them the possibility of up to tetrachromatic color vision, with sensitivity extending into the ultraviolet range
Wait, what? Tetrachromatic color vision?
In tetrachromatic organisms, the sensory color space is four-dimensional, meaning that to match the sensory effect of arbitrarily chosen spectra of light within their visible spectrum requires mixtures of at least four different primary colors.
Four primary colors? Fascinating!
posted by filthy light thief at 8:10 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jumping spiders are my friend, because once upon a time I was able to sit through an entire hour-long presentation of the most boring things imaginable by watching the leetle jumping spider cavort on the shoulders of the woman in front of me. Those folks sitting next to me enjoyed it, too, although I have to imagine the woman wondered why we had to stifle laughter so often.
posted by davejay at 9:12 PM on January 18, 2013


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