Shall I compare poop to a summer's day?

January 16, 2013 7:09 AM

shakespoope.com
posted by cthuljew (35 comments total)

life: complete.
posted by Partario at 7:13 AM on January 16

To poop, or not to poop? There is no question.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:18 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

To pee or not to pee--that is the question.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:18 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

I like the 'e' at the end of the URL. gives it extra class.
posted by xbonesgt at 7:22 AM on January 16 [7 favorites]

EXIT: PURSUED BY SHITTING BEAR
posted by JHarris at 7:25 AM on January 16 [9 favorites]

I have it on good authority that the sonnets of Shakespoope were actually written by 17th Earl of Oxfart.
posted by griphus at 7:27 AM on January 16 [7 favorites]

The quality of poop is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:35 AM on January 16 [4 favorites]

It's like the Internet smiled on me today. (But at least it didn't shit on me as it usually does.)
posted by Kitteh at 7:37 AM on January 16

WGP's three lines are funnier than anything on that site, which is just a 4-year-old's MadLibs-style random replacing of words.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:39 AM on January 16 [3 favorites]

It reinforces my belief in the greatness of Shakespeare that not only does it inspire this kind of thing, but that a fair swath of people who enjoy Shakespeare would love this.

/farts loudly and recomposes the "Band of Brothers" speech

Then will he strip his shorts and show his drawers.
And say 'These stains I had on Crispin's day!'
posted by yerfatma at 7:39 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

Full of sound and fury/signifying a wicked poop
posted by 2bucksplus at 7:44 AM on January 16

You poop by the book.

One wonders what a pun-hating snob thinks of poop like this. Not as bad, or worse?
posted by rahnefan at 7:50 AM on January 16

Holy crap. Actually does what it says on the tin.

What a waste of time...me thinks.

A toilet, a toilet...my king-dom for a toilet...
posted by Skygazer at 7:55 AM on January 16

Horace Rumpole: WGP's three lines are funnier than anything on that site, which is just a 4-year-old's MadLibs-style random replacing of words.

Aye, there's the rub,
For in that poop of poop, what poops may poop,
When we have poopled off this poopal poop,
Poop poop poop pause.
posted by Kattullus at 8:00 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]

I know, right? I mean it's weird to say that I was disappointed with a site called Shakespoope.com, but here we are.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:07 AM on January 16 [5 favorites]

O, horrible! O, horrible! most horrible!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:11 AM on January 16

I like the 'e' at the end of the URL. gives it extra class.


"Ye Old Pube"
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:12 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

Henry's II
posted by tonycpsu at 8:23 AM on January 16 [4 favorites]

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

This stuff just writes itself!
posted by xedrik at 8:33 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

When my love swears that she is full of shit, I do believe her, though I know she lies.
posted by drlith at 8:36 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]

At last, a website that will get my 10-year-old interested in reading the classics.
posted by monospace at 8:55 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]

So foul and fair a turd I have not seen.
posted by mcmile at 8:56 AM on January 16

Pfft, there's already poop in Shakespeare:

... The poop was beaten gold;
Purple the sails, and so perfumed that
The winds were love-sick with them...

Scholars believe that the sails were perfumed to cover up the smell of the poop.

See also:

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
Of dumps so dull and heavy!

posted by pont at 9:00 AM on January 16

Wait, did cortex not make this?
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 9:22 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]

No.
posted by pxe2000 at 9:45 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]

Gives new meaning to "I grant I never saw a goddess go."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:45 AM on January 16 [5 favorites]

i feel like a medieval peasant cracking walnuts with rocks pillaged from ancient roman architecture
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 9:50 AM on January 16

i feel like a medieval peasant cracking walnuts with rocks pillaged from ancient roman architecture

Speaking of
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:03 AM on January 16 [3 favorites]

Hamlet: That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
Ophelia: What is, my lord?
Hamlet: Poop.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 11:24 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]

Much a-poop about nothing...
posted by Skygazer at 11:32 AM on January 16

Much a-doo-doo about nothing...
posted by Gronk at 12:13 PM on January 16 [2 favorites]

The Tragedy of Richard the Turd
posted by chavenet at 12:15 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]

Horace Rumpole: "which is just a 4-year-old's MadLibs-style random replacing of words."

I don't understand... Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
posted by brundlefly at 12:21 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]

Combine this with butt, and I believe the circle is complete.
posted by waitangi at 5:48 PM on January 16

My poop is as a fever, longing still
For that which longer nurseth the disease
posted by Dr. Zira at 5:56 PM on January 16