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The Power of Lard
January 18, 2013 11:06 AM   Subscribe

WWII lard washes up on beach at Angus nature reserve.

Not to be confused with Lard.
posted by dirtdirt (49 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
No one tell Paula Deen.
posted by Fizz at 11:10 AM on January 18, 2013 [8 favorites]


Dear Ask Me: I found some lard on the beach that smells good enough to have a fry up with. Do you think it is safe to eat? (I have to admit, if I found something like that I might purify it somehow and try cooking a little something in it just to say I did it.)
posted by TedW at 11:13 AM on January 18, 2013 [18 favorites]


I prefer the '58 Tenderflake.
posted by mazola at 11:13 AM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Dear Hivemind,

I found some rather old lard, is it still safe to eat? It still smells and looks OK, also my Grandma used to use found-lard all the time.

Please let me know soon, I'm really craving some chicken & biscuits!

TIA
posted by Panjandrum at 11:13 AM on January 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


No one tell Paula Deen.

She can partner with James Cameron and pootle around beneath the seas looking for cholesterol-laden mysteries!
posted by elizardbits at 11:13 AM on January 18, 2013 [8 favorites]


A pox upon your marginally more swift fingers, TedW.
posted by Panjandrum at 11:14 AM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Boy I just got that one out there in time!
posted by TedW at 11:15 AM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


The open tub of lard at the 826 Valencia Pirate Store smells terrible. I suspect it smells fresh because it wasn't exposed to oxygen, being underwater and all.
posted by GuyZero at 11:16 AM on January 18, 2013


My lard lies under the ocean,
My lard lies under the sea.
My lard lies under the ocean,
Oh, bring back my lard to meeeee.
posted by codacorolla at 11:18 AM on January 18, 2013 [7 favorites]


Love me some lard. That's all I cook with now. No more butter in the kitchen. Lard with sea salt has to be even better. I'd fry up some eggs with that lard ball.
posted by quadog at 11:20 AM on January 18, 2013


You just know somebody's gonna try it. Hopefully it'll all come out fine. It would be a bad sick though... a real bad sick.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 11:21 AM on January 18, 2013


Are you...?
posted by Fizz at 11:21 AM on January 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


"The lard was covered in the largest barnacles I've ever seen. Animals, including my dog, have certainly enjoyed the lard..."

Aggh! Flashbacks to the time my dog demonstrated his joy about discovering a dead seal on the beach by rolling on it.
posted by jamaro at 11:22 AM on January 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


I'ld try it. But knowing my luck it would turn out to be dripping. Urgh.
posted by Jehan at 11:22 AM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's one piece of well-buttered coast.
posted by Kitteh at 11:22 AM on January 18, 2013 [12 favorites]


Well, Scotland is the perfect place for some seventy year-old lard to be salvaged and used. Perhaps someone can dig up a K ration "Hershey's Tropical Bar" on Tarawa and take it to a Glaswegian chippie to be "properly" fried.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:23 AM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Lard floats by in clusters in our water supply? I guess it's in all of us, man -- in our pores, and in our hair.
posted by boo_radley at 11:25 AM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Power of Lard

. . . is a curious thing?
posted by IvoShandor at 11:27 AM on January 18, 2013 [15 favorites]


If it's Scottish, it'll be the Lard o' the Isles.
posted by Devonian at 11:28 AM on January 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


This is much better than an unexploded ordinance from the same time; the fact that those are still being found blows my mind.

No one tell Paula Deen.

She can partner with James Cameron and pootle around beneath the seas looking for cholesterol-laden mysteries!


I'm sorry, but I would see this movie in IMAX 3D opening night.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:30 AM on January 18, 2013


WWII lard
That's no way to refer to Winston Churchill.
posted by Grangousier at 11:32 AM on January 18, 2013


Did anybody check to see if Joseph Bueys was in there?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:38 AM on January 18, 2013 [10 favorites]


Well, Scotland is the perfect place for some seventy year-old lard to be salvaged and used. Perhaps someone can dig up a K ration "Hershey's Tropical Bar" on Tarawa and take it to a Glaswegian chippie to be "properly" fried.

We founda barrela lard annit wasnae enuff for tea.
posted by jimmythefish at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


Aye, the lard works in mysterious ways.
posted by Flashman at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2013 [12 favorites]


HURF DURF LARD EATER
posted by desjardins at 11:40 AM on January 18, 2013


This is a much better song about Lard.
posted by jquinby at 11:41 AM on January 18, 2013


Did anybody check to see if Joseph Bueys was in there?

Oof, I really felt that one...
posted by Skygazer at 11:41 AM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Animals, including my dog, have certainly enjoyed the lard, and it still looks and smells good enough to have a fry up with.

That sums up in one sentence why the people of Britain should not be allowed to handle food.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:43 AM on January 18, 2013 [12 favorites]


*frets about dog getting pancreatitis*
posted by HotToddy at 11:47 AM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


When I bake a pie,
For the apple of my eye,
It's got to have a crust,
That I can trust.

You ask me what my secret is,
It's really not that hard,
I'll tell you why my pie's so good,
It's my fucking lard.
posted by mazola at 12:01 PM on January 18, 2013


Did anybody check to see if Joseph Bueys was in there?

Oof, I really felt that one...


Came for jokes about old fat. Learned about origin myth for a German Fluxus artist I previously knew nothing about.

Metafilter in a nut shell.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:02 PM on January 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


I'm sorry, but I would see this movie in IMAX 3D opening night.

Paula Deen exists in more than just three dimensions sweetheart. Now pass me them sticks of butter.
posted by srboisvert at 12:05 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


The lard was covered in the largest barnacles I've ever seen.


Mmmm...were they Goose Barnacles?
posted by Esteemed Offendi at 12:12 PM on January 18, 2013


Relevant
posted by lalochezia at 12:13 PM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Every time I read lard here, I imagine it said in the voice of Shelley Duvall as Olive Oyl from the Popeye move: LARRRRD.
posted by JHarris at 12:16 PM on January 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Every dieter knows that lard is very near to indestructible.
posted by Cranberry at 12:29 PM on January 18, 2013


Every dieter knows that lard is very near to indestructible.

The first time I read this I thought you were still talking about German Fluxus artists. Now DANCE!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:00 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


TedW: "Dear Ask Me: I found some lard on the beach that smells good enough to have a fry up with. Do you think it is safe to eat?"
Serious answer: most likely yes, if you scrape off the outer inch or so. I learned this from my university pedology prof. If it doesn't smell it's fine (but I'd be worried about sea critters who might have burrowed into the lard).
posted by brokkr at 2:00 PM on January 18, 2013


Careful with that! It could contain dangerous triglycerides!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:11 PM on January 18, 2013


(but I'd be worried about sea critters who might have burrowed into the lard).

One of the more surprising ways to meet a mollusc, let me tell you.
posted by JHarris at 2:40 PM on January 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought this was going to be the story about the barrel that washed up in New Zealand...they thought it was ambergris, but it turned out to be lard, I think.
posted by Melismata at 2:42 PM on January 18, 2013


All the life in the sea already passed over this "food" item for whale carcasses and other delicacies. That's enough to convince me to steer clear of lard.
posted by orme at 3:23 PM on January 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


This thread is making me hungry.
Very, very hungry.
I've not knowingly had anything cooked with lard since the early 1980s.

But it does explain why fish and chips tasted much better in the old days.
posted by Mezentian at 3:58 PM on January 18, 2013


But it does explain why fish and chips tasted much better in the old days.

Actually, I think that was something leaching out of the newspaper ink they were wrapped in. Solvents and that, mixing with the vinegar.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:17 PM on January 18, 2013


Lard have mercy.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:14 PM on January 18, 2013


well-buttered coast...

Ghee whiz, that was one suet pun.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:29 PM on January 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


Fuckin' yuck, already.

WARNING: DO NOT COOK WITH LARD. ESPECIALLY OLD FUCKIN' WWII LARD THAT'S BEEN ROLLING AROUND THE SEA FOR MORE 'N HALF A CENTURY.
posted by Skygazer at 7:47 AM on January 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Serious answer: most likely yes, if you scrape off the outer inch or so. I learned this from my university pedology prof. If it doesn't smell it's fine (but I'd be worried about sea critters who might have burrowed into the lard).

I believe you; my parenthetical comment about trying it was (somewhat) serious. I would probably boil it (like the grandma in the article) and filter it at the very least. Then again, I am the sort of person that would be eager to try frozen wooly mammoth from the Siberian tundra. That is why I tend not to answer "is it safe to eat?" AskMe questions. My answer would usually be "Probably; try some and see."
posted by TedW at 12:56 PM on January 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Mezentian, my mom and aunt, who were raised for some time in a lard-lovin' country split a box of these chips at the start of every summer. Before I went veg, I ate my share of them and I can tell you, the difference between them and the vegetable oil chips is night and day. I dunno if they're available in your neck of the globe.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 10:05 PM on January 19, 2013


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