November 16, 2001

2:01 AM

Please...Tell me you're joking....We all went to school with someone who had... shall we say... an odd name. But who in their right minds would call their child this. or this. or this ? any more? oh come on there must be.... Spoon
posted by Spoon (74 comments total)

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Related note:

That thread the other day with the link to an AP photo of Bush in a pickup truck got deleted before I had a chance to point out that all you had to do was copy and paste the URL into a fresh browser window (no outside referrers). Unfortunately, there is no such workaround here...
posted by Potsy at 2:15 AM on November 16, 2001

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Precisely. And if you don't want to be identified, how better than registering under a pseudonym. Such as Phil McCavity or Hugh Jass?

I wish I'd thought of it.

Personally, I find the Friends Reunited phenomenon fascinating, if only because we don't have as much of a tradition of that sort of thing here (there are old pupil organisations, but not such a culture of School Reunions and so forth). That said, I've heard the dreaded Young People referring to the end-of-term disco as the "prom", so there's no hope for us. Americanise or die.

And those of us who thought we'd escaped our vile adolescent selves are finding our teenage years coming back to haunt us.
posted by Grangousier at 2:25 AM on November 16, 2001

Apologies if a double post...
.
posted by the cuban at 3:15 AM on November 16, 2001

http://www.seethru.co.uk/zine/features/bullies_reunited/index.htm
(or if the link didn't work..)
posted by the cuban at 3:15 AM on November 16, 2001

Here are some more places to find old friends (or search for wierd names)
posted by scotty at 3:23 AM on November 16, 2001

Bullies Reunited coming up...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:25 AM on November 16, 2001

Sorry, I should have looked at those URLs a little more closely. I get it now...
posted by Potsy at 3:41 AM on November 16, 2001

Friends Reunited thread from a few months ago.
posted by gluechunk at 4:02 AM on November 16, 2001

According to Friends Reunited, Barbara Cartland left my school the same year I did.
posted by davehat at 4:44 AM on November 16, 2001

I once knew a girl called Misty Hill, and have spoken to a man named Renal Lemon.

But what were mom and dad thinking when they named this guy.
posted by Frasermoo at 4:52 AM on November 16, 2001

Went to school with a girl named Anita Peter...
posted by machaus at 4:55 AM on November 16, 2001

My wife works with someone named John Thomas.

Kinda pointless to ask what his "porn name" is.

My porn name? Patrick McClain, thank you very much...
posted by jpburns at 5:26 AM on November 16, 2001

What's the big deal about Annette Curtain?
posted by mischief at 5:27 AM on November 16, 2001

A Net Curtain. Not dirty, but still funny.
posted by iain at 5:34 AM on November 16, 2001

That girl needs to pull herself together.
posted by dlewis at 5:47 AM on November 16, 2001

Al Fresco, Jean Poole, Mona Lot and others spring to mind...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:51 AM on November 16, 2001

Bill Lear (as in 8-track tape, as in Lear Jet) named his daughter Shanda. What a sadist.
posted by alumshubby at 6:04 AM on November 16, 2001

A couple of more...

A friend of mine swore that he knew a girl in high school named Ophelia Tittsoff, but I think he was just joking...

My wife knew someone named F.D. When asked, F.D. said it stood for Formica Dinette (apparently her place of birth).
posted by jpburns at 6:05 AM on November 16, 2001

I went to school with a Michael Hunt who actually went by Mike Hunt. What's worse...his mother married a few years later and he took one of those hyphenated last names. Yes, I shit you not, his name changed to Mike Hunt-Pfister.
posted by BoatMeme at 6:07 AM on November 16, 2001

As a technical writer, one of the fun aspects of my job was coming up with fake names to put in sample data for illustrations of computer screens. Being a parochial-school survivor and choir singer, I couldn't resist Latin puns: Rex Tremenda, Gloria Monday, Donna Nobiss, Vic Timmy Pascali, and Agnes Day.
posted by alumshubby at 6:09 AM on November 16, 2001

Real names that made me wonder if kids should have the right to sue for abusive naming:

Candace Kane.
Richard Little.

When I lived in New Hampshire, the Congressman was Dick Swett. That's how he had it on his campaign signs.
posted by sacre_bleu at 6:10 AM on November 16, 2001

When I was in elementary school, there was a fellow student named Harry Wiener. Much hilarity ensued.
posted by MegoSteve at 6:12 AM on November 16, 2001

When I was a file clerk in a hospital's billing office, I discovered we'd treated an outpatient named Ferris Wheeler.
posted by alumshubby at 6:12 AM on November 16, 2001

I dated Luv Seamon. Thankfully she had a good sense of humor about it. 'Nuff said.

Actually... not quite yet. Her father's company is A Seamon. Say it out loud for the full effect...
posted by FullFrontalNerdity at 6:33 AM on November 16, 2001

A Net Curtain? That's reaching a bit, kinda like A Net Smith.

OTOH, NASCAR fans already know about Dick Trickle.
posted by mischief at 6:38 AM on November 16, 2001

Oops. That's A & L Seamon. Say it out loud, kids.
posted by FullFrontalNerdity at 6:51 AM on November 16, 2001

Amateurs ... try to beat 2 real people from my hometown:
Harry Rump
Penny Hooker
posted by RavinDave at 7:05 AM on November 16, 2001

You can see the names just by looking at the URL, btw. You don't have to actualy click the links.

but it's still annoying.
posted by delmoi at 7:06 AM on November 16, 2001

Net Curtains and the British

First link I came to on the subject
posted by Grangousier at 7:06 AM on November 16, 2001

My dad's cousin is a teacher in Detroit. She had kids with the following names (pronoounciations included):

Shithéad - shi theed
Assholé - az sho lay
Bitche' - bee chay
Sanitary - sanitary
Orangejello - oh rahn shello
Lemonjello - leh mahn shello
Placenta - placenta
Female - fem ah lay
Kotex - kotex
Modess - modess
posted by pedantic at 7:08 AM on November 16, 2001

My dad's cousin is a teacher in Detroit....

Funny, everytime good old Orangejello and Lemonjello pop up, they are always students in "my Dad's cousin's" class... but nobody actually ever knows them personally. Why do you think that is?
posted by spilon at 7:32 AM on November 16, 2001

Working in country records for a summer teaches you many many things.

Like a girl named "LaTrina". Or a brother-sister pair named "Candy" and "Hershey Barr".

And my all-time favorite -- Shitler. Yes, Shitler. That poor girl was doomed; her family must have hated her before she was born. A name like that ought to be illegal, or at least grounds for arresting the parents on child abuse charges.
posted by aramaic at 7:38 AM on November 16, 2001

Funny, everytime good old Orangejello and Lemonjello pop up, they are always students in "my Dad's cousin's" class... but nobody actually ever knows them personally. Why do you think that is?

I dunno. Maybe it has something to do all those other people with the same name.

Caught me with pants down, Spilon. It seems I'd be better off if I just didn't wear any pants at all.
posted by pedantic at 7:52 AM on November 16, 2001

Barbara "undercurrent review" Mikkelson's page on Funny Names at Snopes.
posted by Carol Anne at 7:56 AM on November 16, 2001

There is an auditorium at my fair alma mater named after the wife of an alum; her married name? Gay Love. The plaques on the door for a couple years said 'Gay Love Auditorium'; they now say 'Gay and [husband's name, which I forget] Love Auditorium.'
posted by louie at 8:07 AM on November 16, 2001

My mom is an elementary school teacher. She had triplets in one class who were first-generation American Japanese. Their parents wanted to give them American names and liked the way English words for fruits sounded, so they were named Watermelon, Orange, and Lemon (I think, not sure about this one).

Also, in the Cleveland phone book there is a Zaphod Beeblebrox. I shit you not
posted by starvingartist at 8:10 AM on November 16, 2001

'Gay Love Auditorium'

At Baldwin Wallace College there is a black-box theater called The William A. Allman Theatre. Known affectionately to the students as the TWAT.
posted by starvingartist at 8:12 AM on November 16, 2001

Every morning on my way to work, I pass by a sign for a local real estate agent. Her name: Isa Ho.

Memorable.
posted by Badmichelle at 8:15 AM on November 16, 2001

There used to a bag girl at my local QFC--Quality Food Center for youse out-of-towners--with 'To' on her name tag. I asked her if it was Finnish or what.

"My last name is Morrow."

Some people are so cruel.
posted by y2karl at 8:18 AM on November 16, 2001

my mom works in a hospital, and she recalls a child named "shithead." pronounced "shih thay", though.
posted by moz at 8:20 AM on November 16, 2001

I saw a girl working at a Wendy's once whose name was "Wonderful". I even heard the manager calling her that.

Also, anyone who has driven cross-country to San Francisco has seen the road sign (somewhere near the Utah/California border, I think) that says:
"Deeth
Starr Valley"

Read it fast enough...
posted by starvingartist at 8:25 AM on November 16, 2001

Two patients in my wife's dental office:

Chu Dung
Fa Kim

And my 7th grade health teacher swore he went to school with a guy named Harry Dangler.
posted by nwduffer at 8:49 AM on November 16, 2001

My Dad works with Richard (Dick) Hurtz from Holden, Mass.
posted by emoeby at 8:49 AM on November 16, 2001

Here's a great list of odd names, collected by a Chicago police officer.
posted by suemoss at 9:04 AM on November 16, 2001

Lidya Kettle was not a student in my Dad's cousin's class. (Maybe that one only works in my Scots dialect).
posted by RichLyon at 9:04 AM on November 16, 2001

I used to work in a news office with a guy named Harry Wenier. He pronouced it "ween-YAY" and said it was French. Ya right!
posted by UncleFes at 9:17 AM on November 16, 2001

How about that guy from "Survivor"? Oh, sure -- he goes by the name of "Richard", but that's only because "Dick Hatch" was too obvious.
posted by RavinDave at 9:27 AM on November 16, 2001

I can't believe I forgot about these. I temped once at the operations center for a bank here in Cleveland, processing applications for checking cards. I kept a list of weird names - the top three were Zolton L. Cheeseborough III, Britus W. Twitty, and Etna P. Bass.
posted by starvingartist at 9:37 AM on November 16, 2001

i went to high school with a guy named Long Doung (pronounced 'dong') and a friend of mine knew a girl named Female (pronounced fem-all-lee) because her parents, who didn't speak English, misread the 'sex' box on her birth certificate to be her name, which they thought the hospital had given her.
posted by rorycberger at 9:44 AM on November 16, 2001

My primary school was the Queen's Dyke Primary School in Witney, Oxfordshire.

I didn't think it strange until mentioning it to someone years later and he fell about laughing. It was founded in 1970. You would have imagined that someone would have thought it through, wouldn't you?

(Pity I couldn't find a link with a picture - it was a funny-looking place too. Won architectural awards, which is the kiss of death building-useability-wise.)
posted by Grangousier at 9:54 AM on November 16, 2001

Just look through the phone book. You start to be able to guess where to find them. Some of my favorites from a local medium-sized city (none of them dirty, just enjoyable):

Dewey Doolittle
Ormley Gumfugin
Phouthasorn Lengphoupraseut Jr.
posted by argybarg at 10:14 AM on November 16, 2001

My father actually wanted to name me Amanda Lynn until my mother vetoed it. He next suggested Sarah Lee because of the great dessert implications. Mom refused to let him make any other suggestions after that and named me herself.

Name of a relative of mine - Zula - who was born in the small town of Bulah. Drove her crazy!
posted by batgrlHG at 10:16 AM on November 16, 2001

The urologist that visits our rural hospital is Dr. Hugh Dick. Quite an odd name for a urologist.
posted by justlisa at 10:29 AM on November 16, 2001

My mom's former boss was named Donald Duckering.
posted by Holden at 10:53 AM on November 16, 2001

The first link in the OP was about the name Ben Dover.

Ben Dover has a consumer advocacy radio talk show on KFI in Los Angeles.

My sister's third grade teacher was Richard Dick.
posted by obfusciatrist at 10:57 AM on November 16, 2001

Went to high school with Dusty Rhodes and Anita Head.

Vietnamese restaurant in Richmond VA - Fu-Kim
posted by topless at 11:13 AM on November 16, 2001

When I was growing up, I had a neighbor named Charlie Brown.
posted by SisterHavana at 11:14 AM on November 16, 2001

I worked with a guy named Harry Ball at Sears, back in college. When they paged him, some customer would always think they were playing a "Mike Hunt" style joke on the person doing the pager, but it was in fact his name.
posted by kindall at 11:47 AM on November 16, 2001

The name of a chain of funeral homes in the Buffalo, NY area:

Amigone.
posted by sacre_bleu at 11:56 AM on November 16, 2001

I used to work as a waiter in a restaurant, and would often find myself cleaning-up after hours alone except for the company of two busboys named "Perish" and "Die" Creepy.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 12:00 PM on November 16, 2001

I went to school with a Laotian guy named Xayko, pronounced psycho. High school kids gave him the business, poor guy.
posted by jennyjenny at 12:06 PM on November 16, 2001

Not an urban legend, nor a dad's cousin's pupils case, I myself actually had a classmate called Dermot Nutty (not a very unusual surname in Ireland though not very common either) an yes, you guessed it, his dad was a professor. Nice father, asshole son, but sorry that's something for friends (?) reunited.
posted by Zootoon at 12:30 PM on November 16, 2001

... two busboys named "Perish" and "Die" Creepy.

(My lack of punctuation made this sound a lot more outlandish than it really is. Their names were "Perish" and "Die". Period. "Creepy" was not their last name -- they were unrelated -- but rather my commentary about how eerie it was to work late at night with these two deathly-named guys.)
posted by Shadowkeeper at 12:41 PM on November 16, 2001

Favorite on the job sighting: Ith Subarith.
posted by y2karl at 12:46 PM on November 16, 2001

Assholé - az sho lay

Ahhh... reminds me of an old SNL skit where the family's name was "Asswipe" pronounced "Azz-Wee-Pay" and couriers kept coming to the door asking for Mr. Asswipe.
posted by jerseygirl at 1:44 PM on November 16, 2001

Hugh Arell.
posted by mmarcos at 3:18 PM on November 16, 2001

Two my mom passed along from her past (these are legit, my mom is as straight a shooter as there is)

Otto Buss
Chris Moss
posted by tdstone at 4:00 PM on November 16, 2001

My neighbor taught a sister and a brother named Crystal and Cannon Ball. She also taught Ocean Marina.
My friend is a hair stylist. One of her clients-Pete Moss.
And I have a friend named Randy Outlaw.
posted by flammableskirt at 4:15 PM on November 16, 2001

ooh and I forgot about two guys who I personally know at my company...

Dick Grow and Dick Staines
posted by tdstone at 4:40 PM on November 16, 2001

ooh and I forgot about two guys who I personally know at my company...

Dick Grow and Dick Staines
posted by tdstone at 4:52 PM on November 16, 2001

A cruel Texas oil baron named Hogg named his daughters Ima and Ura. No kidding. I guess he wanted them to get married and get out of the house ASAP.
posted by Holden at 5:23 PM on November 16, 2001

there is a guy in the phone book where i come from whose name is Justin Case.

now that i'm living in hong kong, i've seen all manner of weird english first names.
posted by bwg at 7:42 PM on November 16, 2001

My dad told me he'd wanted to name me "Monarda Didyma" but that my mom had squelched it. Probably he was just having me on, but...it's a pretty name (and a pretty flower), isn't it?---so I'm not sure I'd put it past him. And being named Monarda Didyma is a damn sight better than being named Bee balm ;)
posted by realjanetkagan at 8:14 PM on November 16, 2001

If there is an alternate universe with a version of me who is actually interested in the whole family thing, he's probably named his daughter "October".

Always thought that would be a good name, for some reason.

But I'm used to the whole oddball name thing... :-)

-Mars
posted by Mars Saxman at 11:09 AM on November 17, 2001