Join 3,551 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


The fare is a veritable smorgasbord
January 23, 2013 6:16 PM   Subscribe

We Must Build An Enormous McWorld In Times Square, A Xanadu Representing A McDonald's From Every Nation
"The central attraction of the ground floor level is a huge mega-menu that lists every item from every McDonald's in the world, because this McDonald's serves ALL of them." Previously.
posted by macrowave (81 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
If you can go Around the McWorld (eat every item) they give you a franchise in Hoboken.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:27 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


I want to go to there.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:28 PM on January 23, 2013 [8 favorites]


Or they could do this in that World's Largest McDonalds, Sort Of, the one with the "largest area" but not all of it is, like, restaurant area, with the most pathetic and sad gift shop, that goes over that freeway in the middle of nowhere.
posted by NoraReed at 6:29 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm McWorld...Somebody kill me...
posted by Sys Rq at 6:35 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have not eaten in a McDonald's by choice in a decade but this is flat-out brilliant and I would go there and I would get the mutton burger from the Delhi McDonald's I ate at in 1999 and maybe a McBucek (quarter pounder with a slab of fried ham, Prague ca. 1993) and it'd be excellent. I might even take the kids.

Jeb Boniakowski, you are a goddamned certified visionary.
posted by gompa at 6:43 PM on January 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


Make it all every item ever sold in every nation and I'm with you. Yes, It is time to bring back the Arch Deluxe.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:46 PM on January 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


This idea is a little bit crazy and a little bit brilliant. Dude sure knows a lot about McDonalds though. By a strange coincidence, I was thinking just yesterday about how awesome a Retro-themed McDonalds would be. They'd have it set up just like in the 50s, and have nothing on the menu that wasn't on the menu at that time. It would be original portion sizes, original packaging and most importantly, original recipes. It'd be even better if it was 1950s pricing as well, but you can't have everything.
posted by wabbittwax at 6:46 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


McDLT. Hot stays hot, cool stays cool. Bring it back McDonalds, stop fucking around with the McRib.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:47 PM on January 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Its a place of pilgriamge for the Max Attax.

Australian McDonalds (which serves beetroot burgers) is temporarily changing its name to 'Maccas', its local nickname, for Australia Day.

There's a McDonald's near my house. It's so poetic - the Golden Arches is a beacon guiding me home.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:48 PM on January 23, 2013


'I like high living. What you say tempts me.....' The fair is a veritable smorgasbord.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:49 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Once built, can we burn it all to the ground and never speak of McDonalds again?
posted by davejay at 6:50 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Meh. When I was a teenager in 1972, I got a job at a brand new McDonalds in Encino, California that was just opening and claimed to be one of the Biggest McDonalds in the World (tied with two others that were just built in other states with the same floorplan). It was SO BIG, they divided up the cooking duties into more distinct jobs, and I became one of the FIRST EVER Filet-O-Fish Specialists. But business fell short of expectations and the first workers to be laid off were the ones with over-specialized jobs. No big deal. I took my fish frying experience a block down the street and got a summer job at a Fish-N-Chips place whose owner had just un-franchised from a failing chain. He added new fried seafood items every few weeks (big sign in front: NEW! SCALLOPS!) with only moderate success. After that summer, I never worked fast food again and never found another outlet for my mad deep-frying skillz.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:53 PM on January 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


Meet-up?
posted by Mezentian at 6:54 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


McDLT. Hot stays hot, cool stays cool. Bring it back McDonalds, stop fucking around with the McRib.

You'll get your McDLT back when Jason Alexander gets his hair back.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:59 PM on January 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oh, and dude's right: that McArabia kofta ad is a magnificent cultural artifact. Almost certainly South Asian (Pakistani?) in origin. The voiceover's in uniquely South Asian English-spiked Urdu in any case ("doh delicious grilled kofta patties").

So what you've got there is South Asian actors hamming it up as cartoon Arabs for a product that basically puts McDonald's burgers in Middle Eastern flatbread and calls it "Arabian" at a good ole USA-Number-One McDonald's. And the soundtrack's like a Bollywood riff on stereotypical Arabian Nights music. Don't let Thomas Friedman see this ad - he'd be able to spin it into a hundred globalization cheerleading columns easy.
posted by gompa at 7:01 PM on January 23, 2013 [14 favorites]


Want a lobster salad sandwich from McDonalds? They've got it in Rhode Island.
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:02 PM on January 23, 2013


I had McBeer in Munich.
posted by Jode at 7:06 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Want a lobster salad sandwich from McDonalds? They've got it in Rhode Island.

It's called a McLobster, and they have it all over Atlantic Canada, too.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:07 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ok. I'm a leftist. And I hate everything McDonald's stands for.

But I would kick someone in the face to be able to eat a McAloo Tikki again.

Contain multitudes etc.
posted by threeants at 7:07 PM on January 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Most of the world's food supply was divided among the major food corporations, just after the Food Wars.

You kids today probably don't remember the Food Wars. They happened when I was young. Maybe it's not worth repeating that history now, because you don't need to worry about it anymore, after the establishment of the global Happy Meal.

But I'll tell you the story, in case you want to hear.

They say it started when Eve ate the first Applebee's in the Olive Garden, but we'll start the story later, long after the time of the Red Lobster and the Red Robin. It was a time of great war, where Taco Bell and Taco Time and Taco Del Mar battled in the South, Papa John fought Little Caesar, and Chick-fil-A fought itself. During that time, the McDonalds lived at the White Castle, and they defeated the Burger King and Dairy Queen, and put Jack in a box. It was a time of great progress. To the left there was a Spaghetti Factory. To the right there was Cheesecake Factory. But many still lived in Pizza Huts. Some were revolted by all this, and became revolutionaries. Ben & Jerry, Dave & Buster, Carl Jr.... all of these people took the Subway to a Krispy Kreme.

That's a lesson for us all.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:07 PM on January 23, 2013 [19 favorites]


There's a McDonald's near my house. It's so poetic - the Golden Arches is a beacon guiding me home.

There's a mcdonald's near my house. It's a foul-smelling shithole that manages to cast garbage in a 1k radius, while attracting schoolchildren, junkies and violent crime.
posted by pompomtom at 7:10 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


"It is a cornmeal quenelle, extruded at a high speed, and so the extrusion heats the cornmeal 'polenta' and flash-cooks it, trapping air and giving it a crispy texture with a striking lightness. It is then dusted with an 'umami powder' glutamate and evaporated-dairy-solids blend."
posted by Shit Parade at 7:11 PM on January 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Would they have the McGangBanger?

Here is one list I saw of the "secret" McDonalds menu:


Biscuits and Gravy - This one may only be available in the South – but it’s the classic combination of gravy smothering hot biscuits.

McKinley Mac – A big Mac with quarter pounder patties.

Grilled Cheese - A bun grilled with American cheese inside.

Big Mac with Quarter Pounder Patties - This is great if you are looking to decrease the cost and calories of the classic Big Mac Sandwich. You get the entire flavor with less meat.

All American - This is a normal sized hamburger with only pickles and ketchup.

Big McChicken - This is a huge sandwich in which the chicken patties replace the bun.

Fries with Big Mac Sauce - Fries smothered in the secret and special big Mac Sauce.

Chicken and Waffles - This is a McGriddle sandwich with chicken in the middle.

Neopolitan Milk Shake - 1/3 vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice creams blended together into one shake.

McLeprichon - This shake is only available in March and is composed of the shamrock shake mixed with the chocolate shake making a mint chocolate shake.

Pie McFlurry - If you purchase a pie you can have it blended into your McFlurry.

McGangBang - This is a double cheeseburger with a chicken patty in between the two beef patties.

Land, Sea, and Air Burger - The Land, Sea, and Air burger, has a beef patty, chicken patty, and fillet-o-fish patty all piled high onto a bun.

Root Beer Float - You can pick any size of root beer and they will add the vanilla ice cream on top.

Coke Float - Any size of coke with ice cream. You can even get it with chocolate ice cream.

Monster Mac - A big Mac composed of 8 meat patties.

2 Cheese Burger Meal Mac - Two cheese burgers, fries and a drink.

Here are some pictures
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:12 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a McDonald's near my house. It's so poetic - the Golden Arches is a beacon guiding me home.

There's a mcdonald's near my house. It's a foul-smelling shithole that manages to cast garbage in a 1k radius, while attracting schoolchildren, junkies and violent crime.


Mine does that too. But you need to see the poetic aspects in things, and if you've ever been on roads without a McDonalds you can see how they shine.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 7:12 PM on January 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Aussie McFeast burger bitches.
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 7:22 PM on January 23, 2013


I had a Royale with Cheese last summer. It was transcendent--the cheese was actual Cheddar. Alas the roadside McDo we stopped at did not serve macarons like the one on the Champs Élysées and my kids were pissed, 'cause they wanted tiny cookie-burgers.
posted by padraigin at 7:22 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Learn to stop worrying, and love the Arches.
posted by cacofonie at 7:23 PM on January 23, 2013


This is a total stoner idea, but it's the BEST STONER IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD so that kinda redeems it.

Also, worth reading just for the "fucking SALAD FOR MILES!" anecdote.
posted by naju at 7:23 PM on January 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Yes, It is time to bring back the Arch Deluxe.

Gods, I miss that burger. It was actually complex. I ate a ton of them when they were available.
posted by hippybear at 7:24 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


I remember the time, I was a teenager, when my mom and I pulled through a McDonalds because we had to try this Arch Deluxe they were talking about just to know.

I can practically still taste that burger in my mouth. So damned delicious. We ate a LOT more McDonalds during that brief period of time than made any sense for our normal diet. And then they were gone, forever. Just another lesson from McDonalds in the fleeting nature of sensory experience.

And then, in Italy in 2001, there were signs all over the place for some breakfast(?) sandwich I don't particularly recall buying or eating, and perhaps I never did. All I know is that the advertising campaign was "McResisti?" and I would support this idea if only to see those signs again.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:28 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


-orgasbord, -orgasbord, -orgasbord
posted by daisystomper at 7:28 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hi. My name is Rich. And I love McDonald's Hash Browns. I'm so sorry... I know it's wrong.... But if they are done right, they are sublime. If I didn't care at all about my health, (and I do oh yeah I really do) I'd do what the author says he does. I'd go in and get a huge bag of fresh, hot, overly salted Hash Browns. I'd eat them right there at the counter. And I wouldn't ask the bastards behind the counter for ketchup. Oh, fuck no. I wouldn't beg them for those little packets of ketchup that they dole out like iodine pills after World War 3. I'd come in with my own half liter jug of Heinz baby! And it would be a NEW jug. And I'd hold up the line as I opened the annoying little seal on the bottle. At the same speed that a grandmother counts change from her tiny purse.

Then I'd spread the Glorious Hash Browns, still steaming from the robot fryer, on the filthy counter. And I'd squirt half of the bottle of ketchup all over them.

And I'd EAT THEM. I'd revel in the look of fear and loathing of the people around me. I'd be eating them and I'd scream, "These are fucking awesome!" And flecks of potato and ribbons of ketchup would fly from my lips.

The young manager of the store would be holding a phone. Probably very close to dialing 911. But the majesty of my gluttony would have shocked them into speechlessness.

And then I would throw a wad of crumpled bills on the counter. Some wadded up. Perhaps some would roll off of the counter? Some would stick in the ketchup.

I would say, wiping my hands and face fastidiously, with wads of napkins ripped from the annoyingly overfilled dispensers.

"Thanks. I'm lovin' it."
posted by Splunge at 7:31 PM on January 23, 2013 [18 favorites]


/b/ro you forgot to indent your new sentences with a ">" :-P
posted by turgid dahlia 2 at 7:35 PM on January 23, 2013


I can imagine something like this as the glittering centrepiece of Ron Paul's Funeral City. Billions and billions dead.
posted by wreckingball at 7:43 PM on January 23, 2013


During the Norwegian Russ season, where high school kids act out to celebrate graduation and have to perform stunts to earn Russ knots, a friend's son had to lick the floor of the Stavanger McDonalds from the front door to the counter.

Of course, he finished this and his friends said that they'd missed it so he had to do it all over again.

The Norwegian booth should commemorate this hourly.
posted by arcticseal at 7:47 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yes, but what about the trapdoors, the saws and rotating blades, and the sluices for the blood and mangled flesh?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:51 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Okay so when I can't sleep I read one of two things on the internet: catalogs of toys (like I could recite entire family trees of Barbie) or international fast food options. Something about both things is just totally soothing. Going to McWorld would be like walking around my own brain at 2 am and I'm there, I'm so totally there.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:05 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'd hit it.*

-----
*And by that I mean "I would like to have sexual relations with that McRib".
posted by mazola at 8:10 PM on January 23, 2013


I would say, wiping my hands and face fastidiously, with wads of napkins ripped from the annoyingly overfilled dispensers.

Just push down when you try to get the napkins. There is no need or call for ripping them. Show some respect.
posted by srboisvert at 8:20 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


McDLT. Hot stays hot, cool stays cool. Bring it back McDonalds, stop fucking around with the McRib.
But why was the cheese on the cold side? Did anyone ever complain that their cheese was too melty?
posted by artychoke at 8:23 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a mcdonald's near my house. It's a foul-smelling shithole that manages to cast garbage in a 1k radius, while attracting schoolchildren, junkies and violent crime.

I used to navigate to McDonald's in the city centres in England by following the trash. Then I tried it in Sheffield and failed. That city was way too freaking clean.
posted by srboisvert at 8:25 PM on January 23, 2013


The McDonalds near my house is clean and the staff is great. McAnecdotes for everyone!
posted by Brocktoon at 8:28 PM on January 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Can we just talk for a minute about Burger King and how those motherfuckers won't bring back the Rodeo Burger for more than about five minutes once a year at some godforsaken truckstop in Wyoming?
posted by brennen at 8:29 PM on January 23, 2013


Once built, can we burn it all to the ground and never speak of McDonalds again?

Davejay, you throw the match after I finish emptying the gas can.

And flecks of potato and ribbons of ketchup would fly from my lips.
posted by Splunge


Somehow I find this eponydisgusting.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:34 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


But why was the cheese on the cold side? Did anyone ever complain that their cheese was too melty?

Artychoke, I have been looking for someone else who saw this glaring flaw in the McDLT all my life. Let us swear eternal friendship.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:40 PM on January 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


I worked at a McDonalds during the era of the McDLT. The guns which dispensed the mayonnaise could shoot that white goo a good six feet or more.

More than once we had to clean up the kitchen after condiment fights broke out.
posted by hippybear at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


There's a mcdonald's near my house. It's a foul-smelling shithole that manages to cast garbage in a 1k radius, while attracting schoolchildren, junkies and violent crime.

One day it dawned on me that there's a startling amount of McDonald's debris in my neighborhood, considering I'm pretty far from the nearest McDonald's. And then I realized that I must live at exactly that distance that marks how long it takes to chow down a value meal while driving, open the window, and jettison the empty bag and wrappers. It's a safe bet that the folks a few more miles down the road are tired of all the "super size" garbage.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 8:58 PM on January 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


[Mezentian] Meet-up?

Meat-up.
posted by ancienteyes at 9:03 PM on January 23, 2013


I loved the McDLT as well, but I have to admit the Angus Third-Pounder is pretty darn good for a McDonald's burger.
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:06 PM on January 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


HOLY SHIT!

So wiki-research reveals that the Arch Deluxe was introduced as the Royal Deluxe in France and is still available.

If McWorld happened then my Arch Deluxe dreams could come true IN FRENCH.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:20 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


[Mezentian] Meet-up?
Meat-up.


Mechanically-recovered meat-up.

The pink slime is on me.

(But not literally, because that would be sick).
posted by Mezentian at 9:24 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I always thought the McDonalds slogan in Quebec (and probably France) was genius: J'm.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 9:24 PM on January 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


In a family of 7 kids, McD was a treat when we were very sick. Fries sometimes remind me of my mom.
posted by oflinkey at 9:45 PM on January 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is such a good idea. I got totally addicted to McBaguettes when I was vacationing in Paris last year. I felt a little terrible about how much I wanted to just roll over to chez McDo instead of sampling legit French cuisine. I mean, I was in my first trimester at the time and I was not exactly at my most culinarily adventurous, but I still feel bad about it.

Man, I could go for a McBaguette right now.
posted by town of cats at 10:06 PM on January 23, 2013


I always thought the McDonalds slogan in Quebec (and probably France) was genius: J'm.

I'm kind of joyous of how clever that is.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:06 PM on January 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is a hugely awesome idea. If I was religious, I would worry that the construction of this would mean God's creation was complete, and we would all face our final judgement. As an atheist, I worry that McWorld would be indisputable evidence that our civilization has reached its zenith, and nothing better would ever be created. Joy and despair all in one golden-arched achievement.

Though--maybe--once the doors were opened, Homo Sapiens McSapiens would arise to take their rightful place as the uber being: the McSingularity, as it were.
posted by maxwelton at 10:43 PM on January 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


I worked for McCann Erickson the year McDonalds came to India. Back then they started with lamb Maharaja Macs but now its all veg or chicken only.
posted by infini at 12:02 AM on January 24, 2013


Indian McDonald's is pretty much the definition of the best worst food in the world in my mind right now.
Reality does not stack up.

But, given the prettiness of the menu, how the hell would one eat a Chicken Maharaja Mac?
It seems so tall... and lacking in anything Indian-ish.

And the Breakfast sausages look kinda pale.

On the other hand, I am jealous of the vegetarian range. A lot.
posted by Mezentian at 12:14 AM on January 24, 2013


Yes but are the apple pies fried or baked?
posted by like_neon at 1:25 AM on January 24, 2013


The guns which dispensed the mayonnaise could shoot that white goo a good six feet or more.

This is my rifle, this is my gun!
This is for cooking, this is for fun!
posted by eriko at 2:20 AM on January 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


This post title completely justifies the entire concept of post titles. Thanks for the earworm.
posted by Stacey at 4:49 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


McAnecdotes? OK.

I've only eaten in one McDonalds outside the US; it was in Beijing, and I only went there out of curiosity. If the place in Times Square serves a burger like the one I got in Beijing, they are going to be besieged by people asking, "where's the beef?" and demanding refunds. That was the thinnest burger I have ever seen. I would not have thought it possible to make one that thin.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:52 AM on January 24, 2013


2 words:
Chain broiler.

McFuck McYou, McDonalds. Burger King Rulz!
posted by Goofyy at 5:40 AM on January 24, 2013


Burger King smells like burning leather goods.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:41 AM on January 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


McDonald's struggles as overseas sales slump
posted by infini at 6:08 AM on January 24, 2013


This sounds like something out of a Douglas Coupland novel. In fact, this needs to happen, if only so a pivotal scene in a Douglas Coupland novel can take place at McWorld.
posted by pie ninja at 6:16 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


McMetafilter: The guns which dispensed the mayonnaise could shoot that white goo a good six feet or more.
posted by radwolf76 at 6:19 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


McMetafilter: Shoot that white goo a good six feet or more.
posted by Mezentian at 6:21 AM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


Let us attach every nation's most lethal weapon to the top of the Empire State Building and aim them at this idea.
posted by gum at 6:57 AM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fried taro pie omg
posted by unknowncommand at 6:58 AM on January 24, 2013


I want to try the mutton burger and the one with fried ham!

(Also, I wouldn't have guessed that "McDonald's" would be that difficult to spell correctly, yet apparently it is.)
posted by Umami Dearest at 8:09 AM on January 24, 2013


This sounds kind of like Club Cool in Disney World, which lets one sample Coca Cola's commercial concoctions from around the world. It's also one of the few 'ingest for free' locations in Dizzyworld.
posted by hexatron at 8:19 AM on January 24, 2013


Kirth Gerson, McDonalds burgers in China were universally thin and poor. The burger to have there was the spicy chicken which used proper chicken rather than the nuggety processed chicken you see elsewhere.
posted by arcticseal at 9:08 AM on January 24, 2013


I'd rather have a complex with regional equivalents, like Hesburger, Quick, Supermacs and Wendys.

We sometimes get McDonalds new burgers sent to us at work - I was off when they delivered the Tastes of America set.
posted by mippy at 10:11 AM on January 24, 2013


The only downside I see to this is that I wouldn't go anywhere else if they do this and I visit New York.
posted by ckape at 10:43 AM on January 24, 2013


Oh my god, the Arch Deluxe!!! I still daydream about that burger sometimes. It's my hope that with strong sales at this Super McDonald's, restaurants everywhere will bring back the Arch Deluxe.
posted by keep it under cover at 12:46 PM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


My own McAnecdote, upon first moving the old U S of A in 1993, was to regale the youth with tales of McCanada and how we had pizza on the menu there.
posted by SassHat at 1:34 PM on January 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also some days all I want is to pout, watch My So-Called Life reruns and eat a fucking McSalad Shaker, ok?
posted by SassHat at 1:35 PM on January 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'd rather have a complex with regional equivalents, like Hesburger, Quick, Supermacs and Wendys.

Only if Canada is represented by A&W and not Harvey's.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:50 PM on January 24, 2013


My own McAnecdote, upon first moving the old U S of A in 1993, was to regale the youth with tales of McCanada and how we had pizza on the menu there.

Ha! Change Canada, to Johnson City, TN, and that was how I explained the summer of 1993 to my high school friends come fall. Now thinking back, the last time I gave the Golden Arches any of my money was for that awful, awful pizza.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 10:11 AM on January 25, 2013


BlueHorse:

And flecks of potato and ribbons of ketchup would fly from my lips.
posted by Splunge


Somehow I find this eponydisgusting.

My job here is complete.

::sound of bootsteps walking away, a slight echo::

::the left boot makes a strange sucking sound, as of ketchup and potato stuck to the sole::
posted by Splunge at 5:06 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


« Older Fuck Yeah, Dinosaur Art!...  |  "When you run molten lead thro... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments