No TP needed

January 29, 2013 9:09 AM

The Baltimore Ravens may be Super Bowl underdogs, but they can probably beat you at cornhole.
posted by ericbop (31 comments total)

There's no funnier part of this story than the fact that the punter is the best on the Ravens at this game. Because, obviously.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:17 AM on January 29

I don't know, here in San Francisco a lot of us are pretty good at cornhole. (Hey-o!)

Marginally related: Facebook's visualization of football fans on a map. The last map shows Baltimore's support is mostly confined to the eastern seaboard, south of New York.
posted by Nelson at 9:17 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]

I wish the NY Times had provided a parenthetical explanation about the game's name in it's usual way: "'Cornhole' is named after an anatomical term that is inappropriate for use in a family newspaper.'
posted by anewnadir at 9:19 AM on January 29

First, anyone else completely un-surprised that Flacco belongs to the ACO? No, mean neither.

I've never played Cornhole, merely observed it, but if there is a less interesting pass time in the world it could only be hand scoring a baseball game. The strategic thinking required to throw a bag in a hole boggles my mind, it makes Candyland look like chess.

Cornhole is a perfect reason why Hollywood isn't located in the midwest. Can you imagine cinema made by people that enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at pieces of plywood on weekends?
posted by Keith Talent at 9:19 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]

"a small bag, typically filled with resin"
I thought bags were filled with beans, or beads. What is this "resin" misreporting.
posted by boo_radley at 9:20 AM on January 29

I don't know, here in San Francisco a lot of us are pretty good at cornhole. (Hey-o!)

No, San Francisco is closer to wine country, they're much more interested in bungholes.
posted by Chuffy at 9:25 AM on January 29

Oh my euphemism.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:27 AM on January 29

The bags are filled with dried corn. That's why it's called Cornhole.

Also, every raccoon in the midwest knows this, so don't leave your bags out overnight.
posted by MOWOG at 9:31 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]

Dang raccoons et mah cornole bag agin!
posted by Mister_A at 9:35 AM on January 29 [4 favorites]

"Cornhole is a perfect reason why Hollywood isn't located in the midwest. Can you imagine cinema made by people that enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at pieces of plywood on weekends?"

Wow. We also enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at assholes who imply we're stupid.
posted by kingbenny at 9:37 AM on January 29 [24 favorites]

I look forward to ACO on the Ocho this summer.
posted by Etrigan at 9:37 AM on January 29

Super Bowl week, and the filler is easy,
Writers got deadlines, and readers are tired.
Oh the owner's rich, and the QB's good looking,
So hush little fan, the game is nigh...
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:45 AM on January 29

I wish the NY Times had provided a parenthetical explanation about the game's name in it's usual way: "'Cornhole' is named after an anatomical term that is inappropriate for use in a family newspaper.'

Except it's not; though I suspect the puerile use of the word is part of the the cause for the game's alternative name "bags".
posted by spaltavian at 9:46 AM on January 29

Washers or gtfo.
posted by resurrexit at 9:49 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]

Cornhole previously, previously, previously, previously.

Bonus: "What is the etymology of 'cornhole'?"
posted by Sys Rq at 9:49 AM on January 29

Keith Talent: I've never played Cornhole, merely observed it, but if there is a less interesting pass time in the world it could only be hand scoring a baseball game. The strategic thinking required to throw a bag in a hole boggles my mind, it makes Candyland look like chess.

It's a game meant to be played outside on a long summer afternoon with a beer. If the metrics you use to judge it include "strategy", I don't think it's the players who are dull.
posted by spaltavian at 9:51 AM on January 29 [10 favorites]

Cornhole is a perfect reason why Hollywood isn't located in the midwest. Can you imagine cinema made by people that enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at pieces of plywood on weekends?

notsureifserious.jpg

I often call this "The fun as hell game with the unfortunate name". Seriously, Keith Talent, there are few games that are more fun to play at a party held outside in good weather.

And one of the most awesome things about it is that age/height/weight/fitness very nearly don't matter. My 6 year old daughter and I can be on a team and whup other people's asses with ease; we can also find ourselves easily curbstomped by grandma and grandpa.

My three year old son tries to play, but he can't throw the bags that far. If we let him play with a throw line pretty close to the target, though, he has a grand time.

Try it before you knock it, my friend.
posted by lord_wolf at 9:56 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]

resurrexit: "Washers or gtfo."

jeez, you're halfway to doorknobs there, buddy.
posted by boo_radley at 9:59 AM on January 29

cowboy golf anyone?
posted by Think_Long at 10:04 AM on January 29

Please someone tell me Ray Lewis has a pregame cornhole dance. And that he pumps up his teammate before a match by declaring cornhole is "a man's game"!

But seriously, I love stories like this - I like knowing what those guys are doing at practice and how they bond. You just can't play football for hours on end, and if you're a punter/kicker/longsnapper, you can only practice your craft so many times - it's not like you show up at the practice facility and punt a ball for hours without breaks. Plus I like knowing that if I ever run into a member of the Ravens, we have more to talk about than just football!
posted by antonymous at 10:04 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]

The Ravens began to play cornhole in 2010, when defensive end Cory Redding introduced the team to the game’s finer points

So there are finer points. I love deceptively simple games suitable for playing while drinking. Since quitting APA pool and NYDO dart leagues I've been trying to start a Shove Ha'penny bar league but getting regulation ha'pennies is surprisingingly difficult. Cornhole may be just the thing.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:06 AM on January 29

Sure, everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:06 AM on January 29 [5 favorites]

So there are finer points. I love deceptively simple games suitable for playing while drinking.

Thanks for the reminder of another point I meant to make -- the other funny thing about this photo accompanying this story is that it is the first time I have ever seen somebody playing this game without a beer in at least one participant's hand.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:34 AM on January 29 [2 favorites]

Keith Talent:
"Cornhole is a perfect reason why Hollywood isn't located in the midwest. Can you imagine cinema made by people that enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at pieces of plywood on weekends?"

Yeah, seems to high brow for Hollywood.
posted by charred husk at 10:36 AM on January 29 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter: We also enjoy throwing bags of popcorn at assholes...
posted by Splunge at 10:38 AM on January 29

There are definitely finer points to this game. For instance, if it rained recently, missing or bouncing off the board means your bag may land in wet grass or mud. Too much of this, and you now have a wet bag (Spilling your beer at an inopportune time can also lead to this...). A wet bag has a very different weight and bounce pattern from a dry bag, so you have to be able to adjust your throws to account for these differences. The bag's ability to fall into the hole can also be hindered by the stiff, wet corners. This is just a small example.

In a lot of ways, Cornhole (or Bags, as I know it), is similar to bowling or miniature golf, and it's resemblance to washers and horseshoes is obvious. In each case, a single person at a time is trying to get an object to hit a particular location as accurately as possible in multiple rounds. Very minute changes at one end can lead to huge misses at the other end. Also in each of these games, many people play to win only as a secondary goal - the first being to simply hang out as a group and have fun. But Bags is an even better game for that than bowling or miniature golf: As lord_wolf mentioned, 6-year-olds and grandparents can generally compete on a relatively equal playing field, and few games allow for that without sacrificing skill for luck.
posted by mysterpigg at 11:00 AM on January 29

Facebook's visualization of football fans on a map.

Heh. Nobody likes the Jets.
posted by lullaby at 11:19 AM on January 29

The way the game is scored has nuance, too, in that for each turn, only one team gets points, subtracting the lower from the higher number. So, if Team A got 4 bags on the board and Team B got 3, then for that turn, Team A gets 1 point. Add in the strategery of trying to knock your opponents' bags off without knocking them in the hole, and you've got something that's as much shuffleboard as horseshoes.

And it's just damn fun, too, and the best beer-drinking game ever.
posted by jbickers at 11:41 AM on January 29 [1 favorite]

Baggo is great fun, and anyone who says otherwise clearly doesn't drink enough. One of the best things about it is that while there is some skill involved, it doesn't take all that long to learn well enough to become reasonably competitive. Between that and the drinking slowly taking everyone's skill level back towards zero as the day/night wears on, it ends up being a surprisingly good game.
posted by wierdo at 12:19 PM on January 29

I've never played either game, but I wish cornhole had been the game of choice among bros at college rather than washers. The ceaseless, irregular CLANK of washer against plywood echoing between dorms ruined many a nap.
posted by jedicus at 2:47 PM on January 29

Oh, washers is a different game? I thought you meant playing cornhole with a bag full of washers instead of beans.
posted by boo_radley at 10:18 AM on January 30