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Alien vs Predator vs Brown vs The Board of Education
January 29, 2013 5:49 PM   Subscribe

"Hi. My name is Eric. I come up with band names constantly. If you're starting a band, might I suggest using one of these names..."
posted by alexoscar (88 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
A similar site I stumbled upon one day also offered a free link to the home page of any band that used one of their names. (Site is a little out of date now.)

I do sometimes still look at the Swarming Midget all-time best name list and I wait in hopes that some band really WILL name itself "The End Of All Male Guilt".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:52 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is the funniest show currently airing on television. There are so many layers to the comedy. Just Hannibal having to stand up whenever a guest comes on because they only have the one chair is hilarious.
posted by byanyothername at 5:57 PM on January 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


These are 90% not good, which is probably the point. They're pretty much made up on the spot. I can do that too:

David Hasselhoff's Vacation Home
Taco Nightmare
Gas Station BBQ
Funk Sponge
Toyota Tercel Crash
The Joan Rivers Experience
The Fart Pants
Underwear For Outerwear
posted by jimmythefish at 5:57 PM on January 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Anyone here is welcome to use "John Ritter Blues Explosion."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:58 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


I totally do this, and have a text file in revision control named "fictional_band_names.txt"

Some of my favorites: and my all-time favorite: posted by namewithoutwords at 5:58 PM on January 29, 2013 [6 favorites]


haha, Rasta Grandpa
posted by byanyothername at 5:59 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


This guy would be really good at Jeopardy's Before and After category.
posted by JauntyFedora at 5:59 PM on January 29, 2013


"The Everything Brothers" is pretty okay.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 6:00 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


My dad used to play a game where he worked when he got really bored - he'd grab the nearest book or magazine or whatever and open it to a random page, and the first phrase he saw on the page was the name of a band. Then he got the name "Electric Forklift" that way once and figured he'd never be able to beat that, so he stopped.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:02 PM on January 29, 2013 [10 favorites]


Also, Eric Andre is hilarious. His appearance on Attack of the Show was fantastic (although in large part because everyone on the show knew they were being cancelled), and the skit he did with the escaped slaves running through the Civil War reenactment was genius.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:02 PM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


For a long time, one of my dream projects was a fake band called Nubile Young Death Cowboys. Then of course, Albarn and Hewlett created the ultimate fictional band, and then Crabcore happened which pretty much trumps my idea.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 6:03 PM on January 29, 2013


I do sometimes still look at the Swarming Midget all-time best name list and I wait in hopes that some band really WILL name itself "The End Of All Male Guilt".

For me, it's Silkworm's "Marco Collins Sessions" EP - Hardcore Dan & The Emo Wizards? Birdwatching Fags? The Great Haikus? I'd be psyched to play in any of them.*

* I'm aware that some of those listed are actual, ridiculously-named bands.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:04 PM on January 29, 2013


OK I didn't click on the first link and realize that this was a show. My bad.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:04 PM on January 29, 2013


I have long preferred "Alien vs Predator vs Kramer" myself.

This edition of one of the less brilliant clip-art webcomics hit the bullseye on band names...

But I do like band names that refer back to past pop music, especially long-ago one-hit-wonders:

The March of Ides
Lipps, Unk.
The Mighty Mighty Administrative Assistants
Those Flockin' Pigeons
Humongous Jerry
The Nyuck
Holly Goes to Frankfurt
RuRingo
Spandex Balustrade
The Old Radials
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:08 PM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


Another great way to come up with band names is to expand an acronym but truncate the last word. So instead of ATM you get Automated Teller. OEM becomes Original Equipment. NABISco becomes National Biscuit.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:08 PM on January 29, 2013 [9 favorites]


also Gary Middleman (did you know that Gary Numan is two weeks older than Gary Oldman... you can't make sh!t like this up!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:10 PM on January 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


for topical names, you can harvest the latest crop of Banished Words:

Fiscal Cliff and the Job Creators
The Boneless Superfood Bucket
Kick the Double Down

...well, maybe not.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:14 PM on January 29, 2013


Flux Buttress
Tax Forms On Mute
Drastic Missive Action Tram
Cauterize After Frosting
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 6:18 PM on January 29, 2013


Mark Zuckerberg's Hoodie
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 6:21 PM on January 29, 2013


I really, really like "Startle a Warbler."

I really, really, really like Eric Andre.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 6:22 PM on January 29, 2013


Somewhat-related previously.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:22 PM on January 29, 2013


REO Meatwagon and Amish Gestapo were names considered for one of my old bands. My band after that one could only agree on Hooray for Everything as a name, due to its Simpsons reference. Clearly, we could've used a bit of band naming help.
posted by blaneyphoto at 6:26 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


My wife and I pretend we're in a band called The Chocolate Overlords, based on my misreading of a sign in a fast food drive-thru. We also have a side project called Pony Cripple.
posted by LionIndex at 6:27 PM on January 29, 2013 [5 favorites]


A friend of mine used to tell people he was in a band called Unnecessary Enema just to see what they'd say.
posted by blaneyphoto at 6:30 PM on January 29, 2013


Ok, I can't tell, is "Siblings With Benefits" really hilarious, or is it only funny in the context of being right after "Soul Mates With Benefits"?
posted by bitslayer at 6:30 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


MONDALE!
posted by dobbs at 6:37 PM on January 29, 2013 [5 favorites]


Roget's Tyrannosaurus
Comb Squad
USB Drive Angry 3D
Jorge Luis Bores Us
Nicomachean Eurythmics
The Eggo and His Own
Honest Ahab
Avant Garden
Sixpence None the Richard Moll
Paulthomasanderstan
Cryptograndma
The Yule Log Archipelago
Missle Command Prompt
Art Noises
War and Fleece ("Homeric power metal")
Rear Window Frogger
The Life of Samuel's Johnson
The Thomas Hardy Boys
Re-tox
French KISS (with Jean Simon on bass)
Meatlifter
Olaf Staple Remover
Horse Real Books
Ian McKillin' It
In Search of Lost Thyme (folk-prog)
Grindbore
Spoonlift (grunge also-rans)
Buzzard Wizard
ZZ Pazz & Jop
Greil Tarkus
The Discount of Monte Cristo
Charles Baud Who Cares
The Master and Margaritaville
Cayenne Peppermint (note: must be a psych-pop band)
Corpus Aristocatium
The King of Pong
The Barry Goldwater Band
Whaleschlong
More Like "Jethro Dull"
Hardcore Grammar
posted by alexoscar at 6:42 PM on January 29, 2013 [11 favorites]


I thought that N+7 Machine (previously) seemed pretty good at generating ridiculous band names. From the Bill of Rights + 7:

The Clairvoyant of New York
An Etching of Reprimand
Grandmother Kangaroo
Crisis Prostitutes
Aster of Counterbalance
Probable Caveman
Caveman of the Acolyte
Perversions or Thistles
Consideration of the Oyster
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:49 PM on January 29, 2013 [6 favorites]


what's wrong with you guys? - we've got a treasure trove of good band names right here (zip file), thanks to the endless creativity of mefites in naming themselves
posted by pyramid termite at 6:51 PM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh man, I would listen the fuck out of "Perversions or Thistles."
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 6:51 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


jimmythefish: They're pretty much made up on the spot.

This is different from the usual method?
posted by Malor at 6:53 PM on January 29, 2013


Ha, I've been doing this quietly over at @MyNextNewBand for awhile. There are a couple directly lifted from Metafilter threads.
posted by gwint at 6:54 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Courtesy of HAAH: Fork Grabber
posted by en forme de poire at 6:54 PM on January 29, 2013


Listen. This is between you and me, Metafilter, but I have long been the inventor of the best nerdy band name of all time. I am even reluctant to share, though I play no instrument, and never will. But, because I trust you, may I present the Best Bad Band Name of All Time:

MC Delta T and the Specific Heat.

That is all...
posted by blahblahblah at 7:07 PM on January 29, 2013 [10 favorites]



Northern Defense
Blitzkreig
No outlet - perfect name for a crappy 15yr old angsty punk band.
Dishpan hands
heavens to betsy
dead letters
ahoy matey!
platypus
southern lights
gannon's stallions
echo chamber
the splitting hairs
bonbons - music for dessert (as the album name)
J Arthur Sims
the marshall plan
Runny noses and coke lines
streetlights
last call
chuck collars
posted by fizzix at 7:27 PM on January 29, 2013


fizzix, Heavens to Betsy is the name of a 20-year-old Riot Grrl band with a pre-Sleater-Kinney Corin Tucker in it.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 7:32 PM on January 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Some of the references are a little dated, but here's a list of Jello Biafra's Names for Bands.

If you're starting an Industrial Noise band you may have Hominids of East Turkana.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:46 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Unfortunately, this band name is taken... This Bike is a Pipe Bomb.
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:46 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've been in a total of four bands:

Threshold (it was high school in the late 1990s)

A corporate band who shall go unnamed (it's very boring)

Then, I was in a band and we were trying to name ourselves. We had a whiteboard with like 50 names on it. Things like "Neutron Gospel", "Namasté", "Freak Police" and "Spank Bankers". We ended up naming ourselves "Cauzy". Which I always thought was lame.

Then we broke up and a year later a few of us reunited for a one-night show under the name "Bruncle Jesse". Which I now use as the name of my competition chili recipe.
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:52 PM on January 29, 2013


gwint,
I do the same, even set up a blog and domain for it mostly on a whim.

Couple recent entries:

Schadenfreude Smörgåsbord
Assisted Suicide Retirement Plan
posted by JaredSeth at 7:59 PM on January 29, 2013


I, too, keep a list of potential band names. The one that started it all for me was Oedipus and the Motherfuckers.
posted by starvingartist at 8:02 PM on January 29, 2013 [13 favorites]


Trace Amounts of Lithium.
posted by jcreigh at 8:36 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would have a band of drummers called The Daunting Tasks. All bass drum and hi hat: Tasks! Tasks! DauntDauntDaunt.

DauntDaunt-Tasks!

Thank you, I'll be here all week.
posted by kandinski at 8:39 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gravity's Rainbow Brite
Equal Opportunity Annoyer
Flaming Radios
Hooked on Ebonics
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 8:39 PM on January 29, 2013


Oh great, I've been looking for a new name for my band Ensanguinated Bovine Sarcophagus (look for our album "The Pernoctation of Count Darkula", out this spring).
posted by geneva uswazi at 8:41 PM on January 29, 2013


Lynne Rosetto Kaspar Hauser
posted by jason_steakums at 8:58 PM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


blahblahblah: "MC Delta T and the Specific Heat."

I always thought that "Spooky Action at a Distance" would make an awesome album title.

Also, The Bremsstrahlungs could totally be the name of a geeky a capella group.
posted by schmod at 9:09 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Lynne Rosetto Kaspar Hauser

...M.D.

(FTFY)
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:26 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've probably mentioned this before on the Blue, but the name of my band in the last Rock Band game was "Mary Sue and the Self Insertions." Still a little too proud of that one.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:27 PM on January 29, 2013 [8 favorites]


MONDALE

I love that Jello Biafra bit: The Incredible Turdsicles

But I do like band names that refer back to past pop music, especially long-ago one-hit-wonders:

Since my bass player got married and quit the band, I'll probably never use it:

A Flock of Jawas
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:30 PM on January 29, 2013


A great place to look for band names is TVTropes. An extremely small sampling:

Universal Omni Goat
Best Known for the Fanservice
Floating Advice Reminder
Applied Phlebotinum
Every Car Is A Pinto
Forgotten Superweapon
It Runs On Nonsensoleum
Made Of Explodium
Powered By A Forsaken Child
Too Spicy For Yog Sothoth
posted by JHarris at 9:43 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


And one of my own:
Huey, Dewey, and Poop-Eye.
posted by JHarris at 9:48 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was pretty pleased with one of my fake bands for a design assignment, The Carl Jung Sucker Punch.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:51 PM on January 29, 2013


Emerson Lake Embalmer
posted by klausman at 9:59 PM on January 29, 2013 [8 favorites]


Jesus and the Christs.
posted by wallabear at 10:03 PM on January 29, 2013


My friend's older brother told me "the best band name ever" back in 1975ish: Bulletproof Cornflakes.

Here's my current list from Sticky Notes:

Schrödinger and the Pussycats
Captain Package and the Nads
Radiation Rick and the Rads
DJ Disc Jockey and MC Redundant C
Colonel Panic and the Core
Pandemonium
Snake Oil
The Puppies of Scuffle
posted by and for no one at 10:14 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Spaceballs: The Band
posted by ShutterBun at 10:19 PM on January 29, 2013 [5 favorites]


Satan's Fingers, The Killers, The Hospital Bombers


I do sometimes still look at the Swarming Midget all-time best name list and I wait in hopes that some band really WILL name itself "The End Of All Male Guilt".

I could see them as one of The Wave bands, like La Dispute or Touche Amore. Or it could be a Wonder Years song title.

There's 3 pages in Illuminatus! trilogy that are just a massive list of band names. I have it bookmarked. Nirvana is in there.

streetlights

Do you mean Streetlight Manifesto?

I was in the worst named band: The Milfs.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:35 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


'Blood Fart' smart guy.

You're welcome!
posted by mazola at 10:51 PM on January 29, 2013


My dad used to play a game where he worked when he got really bored - he'd grab the nearest book or magazine or whatever and open it to a random page, and the first phrase he saw on the page was the name of a band. Then he got the name "Electric Forklift" that way once and figured he'd never be able to beat that, so he stopped.

So I just did this and I got Known Staircases. I suppose I've used up my first try luck for the year.
posted by solarion at 11:02 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Just when you thought you'd come up with the one band name that would upset everyone you know, you realize this band already beat you to the punch. nsfw, probably. Also, maybe them too.
posted by blaneyphoto at 11:35 PM on January 29, 2013


schmod: I always thought that "Spooky Action at a Distance" would make an awesome album title.


Well, it happens to be an awesome album.
posted by alexoscar at 11:57 PM on January 29, 2013


Beautiful Ladies of Bowling
Charlie's Theremin
Chemo Sabe
Cotton Taylor Abbott
Wetness Protection Program
Strepatitis
How to Get Killed
Nostril Hockey
Neurolinguistic Deprogramming
Executive Broom Closet
Diphallic Torquemada
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:32 AM on January 30, 2013


Regarding the creation and propagation of absurd band names, I must cop to having played a small role back in the early 1990s in the creation of this. Although the list seems to have gotten amended and a bit mangled over the years, it still contains some fine examples of the genre, such as:

A Knight In Two Knees Ya
Adam Smasher & The Supercolliders
Anna Otto and the Palindromes
Big Midget and the Tiny Giants
The Bottom-Trolling Suckfish
Genuine Ersatz Simulated Artificial Fakes
How Do You Like Us So Far
I Can't Believe It's Not Feces
Meat Shampoo
Polly Nomial and the Lowest Common Denominators
Ravi Chancre and His Pus-Filled Sores
Sandy Scrotum and His Itchy Ball Four
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 12:43 AM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also: Cooler Than You, which would allow a band member to say to the audience, "Hi, everybody, we're Cooler Than You." Which really is what it's all about, amirite?
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 12:52 AM on January 30, 2013


My dad used to play a game where he worked when he got really bored - he'd grab the nearest book or magazine or whatever and open it to a random page, and the first phrase he saw on the page was the name of a band. Then he got the name "Electric Forklift" that way once and figured he'd never be able to beat that, so he stopped.

The nearest book to me is a student poetry reader, 17th-19thC. Works amazingly well:

Lawful Spouse
Brittle, Crazy Glass
Vanquish'd Mithridates
At Best, A Cushion
Urchins Newly Breech'd
Steady Weathercock
Ugly Heights
All Our Propogation
posted by Catseye at 2:23 AM on January 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


Some of those were indeed good. But the real stroke of enius is "Karaoke". (And yes, bitslayer, Siblings With Benefits is in fact pretty hilarious, though I prefer to convert it to "Sisters With Benefits" or "Brothers With Benefits".)

My husband and I have a list of these, but, alas, it's on my old phone, which is afloat somewhere on a barge in the middle of the ocean right now.

Always been fond of "Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs and the Cadaverous Cadavers", myself.

You can't have any of my real ones, though. Just in case I ever actually form a band and use them.
posted by Because at 2:35 AM on January 30, 2013


Dear god, now I'm going down the front page of Metafilter reading all the post titles like they're band names.

Madam Would-Be Mayor
Mark Zuckerberg's Hoodie
The Factory Floor
No TP Needed
X-Mensch
The Sorry State of Boston Sportswriters
The Cyber-Ombudsman
Cell Phone Propaganda Posters (that one's probably my favourite)
The Real George Orwell
Videopunk

It's a rather rich source.
posted by Because at 2:52 AM on January 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


I always wanted to start a 60's style R&B harmony group called John Calvin and The Five Solas.

First single: "Predestined to Love You" b/w "Irresistible Grace"
posted by anthom at 7:22 AM on January 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also: Cooler Than You, which would allow a band member to say to the audience, "Hi, everybody, we're Cooler Than You."

Someone I knew in the '90's was part of a band called All God's Children, for precisely the same reason. Only their lead singer always introduced them as "We're All God's Children, as are all of you."

(They were not a Christian-rock band, I should clarify. They just thought that sounded cool.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 AM on January 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


My wife doesn't eat red meat, and I do, so when I occasionally cook it for myself, she refers to the resulting dish as the "Filthy Meat Pan". So that's our fictional band name.

We open for Throbbing Gristle.
posted by mrgoat at 7:53 AM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Just pick a random science or history topic and skim the Wikipedia article. You'll have a short list of gems in minutes.

The Oppenheimer Weiners
Mutually Destroyed Assurance
Ivy Mike and the Megatons
You-235
MIRV Griffin
The Cuban Sandwich Crisis
Thermonuclear Bum
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:12 AM on January 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


I try to make up a story about each name.

BrakeWynd
Bus Bench Lawyers
Childhood Goat Trauma
Coonskin Cat
Depleted Euphonium
Dipstick Thespian
Keystone Fops
Salton Seal
Six-Gun Gorilla
Tragic Shrapnel
Velveteen Rabbi
Zebra Head Fetish

I gotta get out more.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 8:48 AM on January 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Funny that Teenage Chicken is on the list, since Teenage Rooster is on my band name list.

(Some teenage roosters used to hang out in the alley behind my house.)
posted by univac at 8:54 AM on January 30, 2013


Theremin Munson
posted by ericbop at 11:16 AM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


These are all either grindcore and jam band names. Still fun, though.
posted by herbplarfegan at 11:20 AM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


My favourite potential band name will always be Nonconsensual Nasal Penetration, which is how my cousin describes the incident wherein I decided to awaken him by sticking my right pinky toe in his nostril.

(drugs, alcohol, etc)
posted by elizardbits at 2:53 PM on January 30, 2013


I was in a band we called Hot Carl. At band practice we'd decided on a cover story of the week in case anyone asked about the name.

When I read of the music calender on my radio show I never fail to get a internal chuckle out of Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children McNuggits

I have booked Glitter Wizard and Slow Moving Lions of the Vegetable World on my show based on the name alone.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:01 PM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


The world's greatest band name is taken by Australian garage group King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 3:04 PM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Heh... I was just about to post my most recent made-up band name, but then I decided to use it as a sock puppet instead.
posted by polymath at 8:14 PM on January 30, 2013


Also, Velveteen Rabbi is a fantastic one, Enron Hubbard.
posted by polymath at 8:15 PM on January 30, 2013


Almost forgot my go-to band name:

There, Their, They're and the Apostrophe S
posted by JaredSeth at 6:55 AM on January 31, 2013 [2 favorites]


I just misread one of namewithoutwords' examples above, "Mormon Moon-Landing Denier," as "Mormon Moon-Landing Diner." That would itself make a great name.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:40 AM on January 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


A couple thousand or so on the BGG chit chat Repository of Possible Band Names.
posted by meinvt at 9:34 AM on January 31, 2013


Asparagus Syndrome
Savage Thrift
Signal-des-Moines Ratio
beard of b33z
Crepebraham Blintzon and The Breakfast Presidents
The McSteakfish Experiment
Martian Luther King
posted by albrecht at 12:02 PM on January 31, 2013


Beavis & Butthead's Instant Band Names from This Book Sucks

Pick one from each column:
  A         B        C
-------------------------
Satan's   Death    Ship
Flying    Candy    Wheel
Burnt     Fire     Head
Black     Cancer   Peppers
Steel     Fokker   Maiden
Atomic    Waste    Basket
Poison    Monkey   Boner
German    Frogurt  Drug
Children           
 of (the) Love     Machine
Screaming Coma     Ryche
Golden    Clam     Rats
Def       Desire   Stick
Fatal     War      Snake
Albino    Meat     Pod
e.g. Atomic Candy Machine
posted by and for no one at 2:15 PM on January 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


Are there still bands? Someone needs to do this for DJ names.
posted by cell divide at 2:35 PM on January 31, 2013


An old friend of my sister’s wanted to use the stage name Buddah Flintstone. Our friend Chris suggested, as his favorite band name, Painful Rectal Itch. My favorite band name has always been that of the first band I ever appeared onstage with: The Angelic Slugs.
posted by LeLiLo at 1:39 AM on February 1, 2013


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