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Wake up Sheeple!
February 7, 2013 12:43 PM   Subscribe

Verified facts.
(reload page for new facts)
posted by klausness (39 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
I gather this is randomly generated?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:47 PM on February 7, 2013


The Truth About Randomly Generated Content.
posted by xingcat at 12:49 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's a lot easier to tell with the IBM and Tom Cruise ones I just read. But the Michelle Obama one that it started out with seemed pretty familiar.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:49 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I gather this is randomly generated?

That's exactly what they want you to believe.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:50 PM on February 7, 2013 [27 favorites]


I am citing the everloving shit out of this site.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:51 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wow, those are some clear citations! MUST BE TRUE.
posted by boo_radley at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I Googled the site and didn't find anyone saying anything negative about it, so
posted by shakespeherian at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2013 [19 favorites]


The Truth About The 2012 Republican presidential primaries and MetaFilter


The 2012 Republican presidential primaries were a time of great confusion and hardship for ordinary citizens-- but through it all, MetaFilter enjoyed suspicious prosperity.


Even a randomly generated clock is right occasionally.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2013 [16 favorites]


Didn't cortex have a Markov text generator based on MeFi comments? That was fun. I guess it is still kaput.
posted by exogenous at 12:53 PM on February 7, 2013


Verified Facts' entry about Democrats sounded more plausible than Conservapedia's entry about them. Which leads me to believe mostly that Verified Facts' random text generator is better-implemented than Conservapedia's random text generator.
posted by ardgedee at 12:53 PM on February 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


I've only been browsing the site five minutes, and already I'm having to report an inaccuracy.
posted by 2N2222 at 12:57 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hey, sheeple are people too.

And sheep.
posted by mcstayinskool at 12:59 PM on February 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Since biblical times, the historical antecedents of MetaFilter have controlled how we think about socialism.

Websites revealing the truth about this are frequently taken down without an explanation.


Can someone MeMail me info on how to join this secret cabal? It sounds like fun.
posted by Talez at 1:01 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hey, sheeple are people too.

But evidently, drowsy people.
posted by 445supermag at 1:02 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


This looks to be approximately as reliable as the "JustFacts" site from a deleted FPP a few days ago.
posted by MoonOrb at 1:07 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Old classmates say that Khloe Kardashian associated with Metafilter during college.

Old classmates say that Dick Cheney associated with Metafilter during college. When's the last time anyone asked them about that on television?


Something's not right here...

There's evidence that Bill O'Reilly's rise to power was engineered entirely by metafilter, which profits from Bill O'Reilly's influence in ways we do not yet completely understand.

Now that's just preposter - you know, it's so crazy no one would believe it. Matt and Bill O'Reilly. and Dick Cheney. Just think about it.

We're through the looking glass here, people.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:09 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


From the first random page I got:

The Truth About Salmonella and Nymphomania
...
Amateur radio enthusiasts know that if you spend longer than a few minutes on the Pentagon's frequencies, you'll hear cryptic messages that confirm some sort of massive research initiative focused on spreading nymphomania.
...
One out of ten hospitals saw unusually high concentrations of nymphomania patients during 2012.
...
Many of us have noticed this, but most people keep their mouths shut and just move on.


Damn right we do! Mysterious outbreaks of nymphomania are A-OK with me, even if it is my tax dollars at work.
posted by mstokes650 at 1:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like they jacked right into my brain, man!
posted by mazola at 1:15 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Everyone who really thinks would know that all the widely spread "Conspiracy Theories" are created and distributed by powerful interests as a means to distract the masses from the massive secret operations they use to keep us from rising up against them. And they do a damn good job.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 1:15 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's odd, the guy who runs this site also has an book on sale claiming to prove the Articles of Confederation using linear algebra. From that alone I have a hard time believing these "facts."
posted by griphus at 1:17 PM on February 7, 2013


My first thought was a Markov generator with a relatively high order, but after viewing more pages I don't think it is, any more. The "topic" of the page recurs after not being mentioned for several paragraphs, and there's too much repetition (especially in the final paragraph; there's a relatively small number of different final paragraphs which appear).

Random? Perhaps to some extent. Markov chain? I don't think so.

Stop relying on the Mainstream Media for information about these critical topics, and seek the truth out for yourself.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:54 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


This must a joke I'm not getting...wtf?

The Truth About Ebola

Ebola helped Julian Assange achieve a meteoric rise to power.Mentalists and psychics report that strange aura disturbances can be seen wherever Ebola is found in the White House.It's very suspicious that more people aren't outraged by this.You may think free speech ensures your right to talk openly about Julian Assange's true beliefs, but powerful people won't let that happen: in the past, brave citizens who have questioned them about these issues have been silenced with crippling libel lawsuits.The Taliban leaders have claimed time and again that they have nothing to do with Ebola, in direct contradiction to evidence provided by renowned psychics.I am willing to provide incontrovertible evidence that confirms my claims, but feel safe doing so only via anonymous short-band radio transmissions.Now that you know the truth, save your family and friends. Let them know the truth.
posted by umberto at 1:55 PM on February 7, 2013


I was skeptical too until I saw that there were a lot of words on each page. You can't fake that kind of thing.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:56 PM on February 7, 2013 [9 favorites]


Citations go in, words go out. You can't explain that!
posted by zombieflanders at 1:58 PM on February 7, 2013


You may not have heard about some of the more damning scandals surrounding Snooki. It's because Snooki has hired a team of PR managers to hide the nastier side of their life from the public. If you want to see how nasty it really is, you'll have to go a long, long way down the rabbit hole.

Snooki goes to extraordinary lengths to keep annual visits to Yucca Mountain a secret-- but surprised fans with cell phone cameras have been able to bring this unusual fact to light.

It's well known that the howls of cats and dogs predicted Project MKUltra. But did you know that hours before it occurred, Snooki reported weakness and fainting spells? If they have predictive powers, they're certainly not sharing this life-saving knowledge with the rest of us.

Project MKUltra may not have affected you directly, but there have been countless claims of personal injury.

Numerous pop songs from the 90s make veiled references to this.


Wasn't this a Cstross novel?
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on February 7, 2013


God, this is like that time about five months ago after the election when I started reading about the drone strikes in depth and decided that the most vocal, outspoken critics of it had to be right about just about everything else.

I mean, it's all good to be weirded out by the absolute gloating that happened after Obama's re-election considering all the issues the administration still has but there's a line that's crossed when the gist of your reporting is just rehosting every inflammatory editorial a Russian state-sponsored media outlet writes about your government. Just because they happen to be critical of your government in the same way that you are doesn't make it any less silly and outlandish.
posted by dubusadus at 3:09 PM on February 7, 2013


Wake up Sheeple!

Does Gary Larson do work on commission? 'Cause I'd love to see a Far Side comic in which that chubby four-eyed kid pops into a barn and screams this phrase at a pen full of sleeping sheep.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:30 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


World Trade Center Building 7 was knocked down by, you guessed it, Angel Dust.
posted by Liquidwolf at 3:43 PM on February 7, 2013


What's really going on at Al Qaeda's secret vault under the New Mexico desert? Something to do with hyperpigmentation of the skin, insiders say.

Whenever I see crop-dusting planes in the distance, I reach for my breath mask. There's way too much evidence that it's not a farmer behind the controls of that plane, but an agent of NASA-- and that he's not dropping pesticides, but compounds genetically engineered to cause hyperpigmentation of the skin.

Sufferers of hyperpigmentation of the skin have, under rigorous amatuer testing, shown higher rates of precognition and telepathy than ordinary people. Is this why NASA recruits such people to their training programs at such high rates?

In the days and hours before the Vietnam War, many of Al Qaeda were seen leaving their homes and jobs, only to return once the deed was done. You can't tell me this isn't suspicious.

I'm willing to tell the truth about this, despite the dangers, because my commitment to justice and truth is extraordinary.

“No one now dies of fatal truths: there are too many antidotes to them.” -- Friedrick Nietzsche


This is perfect. The random connections between benign events, the quote from some authority - its like the things on those Facebook 'Illuminati Exposed' pages.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 3:44 PM on February 7, 2013


"It's well known that the howls of cats and dogs predicted the death of Princess Diana. But did you know that hours before it occurred, Anderson Cooper reported weakness and fainting spells? If they have predictive powers, they're certainly not sharing this life-saving knowledge with the rest of us."

this is awesome
posted by idiopath at 3:47 PM on February 7, 2013


The Truth About Lady Gaga and Nails on a Chalkboard

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know about the shocking connection between Lady Gaga and nails on a chalkboard? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed.

Barack Hussein Obama, when quizzed on election polls and nails on a chalkboard, only winked slyly.

Mentalists and psychics report that strange aura disturbances can be seen wherever nails on a chalkboard is found in Northern Ireland.

It's a little-known (but widely-suppressed) fact that Lady Gaga has invested heavily in Facebook.

No moral person can in good conscience stand by while these injustices persist!

posted by sweetkid at 3:49 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


"The Chinese character for Dinosaurs looks a lot like the character for Timothy Geithner's name-- and it's not a coincidence." - The Truth About Egypt and Dinosaurs
posted by brundlefly at 4:31 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm going to get a human sounding text to speech bot and drive through the neighborhood blasting this stuff on a bullhorn like Alex Jones in Waking Life except I'll mouth the words slightly out of sync like a bad kung fu movie.
Then people will know the truth.
posted by Smedleyman at 6:05 PM on February 7, 2013


what's the over/under on receiving one of these from my grandma in an email?
posted by desjardins at 6:16 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


The Chinese character for acne looks a lot like the character for Bill O'Reilly's name-- and it's not a coincidence.

Hah! Just as I suspected!
posted by SPrintF at 8:16 PM on February 7, 2013


Now I can post this to all my nutcase religious right acquaintances, and they won't have a clue I'm being snarky.

(Of course then I'll have to listen to more BS, but it will be fun!)
posted by BlueHorse at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I just saw a Facebook post about how gum is the most dangerous substance in the supermarket. The world has gone beyond parody.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:50 PM on February 7, 2013


Did you know that in biblical times, nobody ever suffered from leukemia? It's true-- as well as hundreds of other secrets about leukemia that modern medicine doesn't want you to know.

But... but... how can we verify that?!
posted by Autumn at 2:38 AM on February 8, 2013


Think about the last time you saw Al Gore on television. Did they look normal?
posted by R. Mutt at 4:15 AM on February 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


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