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February 12, 2013 12:39 PM   Subscribe

Twenty-three of hockey’s weirdest and most inappropriate fan signs
posted by mannequito (46 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
Hockey fans at my college were absolutely brutal, usually in the form of really awful chants against the other team. The best/worst of them all involved appending "SUCKS!!" to opposing team members' names, as such:

PA: Penalty, number 24, John Smith-
CROWD: SUCKS!!
PA: -two minutes for-
CROWD: SUCKING!!

My favorite, though, was that whenever the coach's phone rang the whole arena could hear it and everyone there would yell, "PHONE!!!"

Ah, college.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:00 PM on February 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


If I knew there were such inappropriate signs I might have gotten into hockey fandom a little earlier!
posted by lineofsight at 1:01 PM on February 12, 2013


For the one season we were Coyotes half-season ticket holders, my friend and I sat a few rows back from a guy who always brought this sign. He was there every game, always alone and he would silently hold up that sign after any penalty that went against the Coyotes. I admired that man.
posted by mullacc at 1:05 PM on February 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


I love hockey.

Not in spite of the fans, because of the mutated, idiot fans.

(Disclaimer: I may be a mutated idiot)
posted by lumpenprole at 1:06 PM on February 12, 2013


Makes me proud to be from Hockeytown™.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 1:09 PM on February 12, 2013


This does not make me like hockey more.
posted by mazola at 1:09 PM on February 12, 2013


The best/worst of them all involved appending "SUCKS!!" to opposing team members' names

Football fans are a bit more creative, like the chant his own fans came up with when Andy Goram revealed he was ssuffering from a mild form of schizophrenia:

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"
posted by MartinWisse at 1:10 PM on February 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


My favorite, though, was that whenever the coach's phone rang the whole arena could hear it and everyone there would yell, "PHONE!!!"

I heard this at a Blackhawks game (not the coach's phone, some phone in a box in the upper level) in like 2005.

The fact that Blackhawks fans in 2005 were acting like fans of college hockey says a lot about the quality of that team.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:11 PM on February 12, 2013


re: "Taylor has beautiful eyes"

Well, he does.
posted by porpoise at 1:12 PM on February 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


I used to work with a "puck bunny" a long time ago, back before they used signs to advertise themselves. It was inevitable, I suppose.
posted by tommasz at 1:18 PM on February 12, 2013


For anyone on the blue who hasn't seen the tyler photo shopped sign that lead to the banner behind the net at the end of the post... here it is.
posted by MechEng at 1:23 PM on February 12, 2013


"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"


Or when it was discovered that Tim Howard has Tourette syndrome:

Chim-chiminey chim-chiminey chim chim cheroo
We've got Tim Howard and he says FUCK YOU

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:25 PM on February 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


MechEng: "oto shopped sign that lead to the banner behind the net at the end of the post... here it is."

I came away from the article believing that the sign had been made dirtier. Not so much!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:32 PM on February 12, 2013


I suck at posting.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:33 PM on February 12, 2013


i puck at sosting


i may have misunderstood something.
posted by chasles at 1:35 PM on February 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I seriously spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out why anyone would think "I smell cat butthole" would be a clever or funny thing to put on a sign. I had basically chalked it up to Flyers fans being idiots before it finally clicked.

My favorite, though, was that whenever the coach's phone rang the whole arena could hear it and everyone there would yell, "PHONE!!!"

I went to a Blackhawks game right before Bill Wirtz died and they got good where I sat in front of a couple of guys who mostly yelled "SHOOOOOOOT!" constantly and groused loudly about "the pussification of Blackhawks hockey", but managed to redeem themselves a bit by perfectly timing their yells of "HOW? MUCH? TIME?" to fit with the announcer's "One minute, one minute remaining in the period".
posted by Copronymus at 1:39 PM on February 12, 2013


I seem to remember that during the Vancouver/Boston finals, there was a sign that said, in reference to the Sedin twins: "two guys, no cup."

I would hyperlink to a JPEG of this, but I am terrified of what I might find if I google image search the phrase "two guys, no cup."
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 1:40 PM on February 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


I risked it.
posted by cthuljew at 1:46 PM on February 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you want to see the real pinnacle of asshole hockey fans, you need to go to a peewee game. No signs though.
posted by GuyZero at 1:49 PM on February 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


If I remember correctly it started as "2 Sedins, No Cup" but a Boston fan had it made as a t-shirt, not a sign.
posted by mannequito at 1:51 PM on February 12, 2013


(as a completely unbiased Pens fan) I sometimes wonder if Caps or Flyers players get annoyed that their fans spend more time creating signs and chants about Crosby than about anyone on the home team.
posted by jermsplan at 1:51 PM on February 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


here it is
posted by mannequito at 1:53 PM on February 12, 2013


The one with the Oiler fan holding up the "I Hate Her" sign with the arrow pointing at the Flames fan is neither weird nor inappropriate. It is Alberta politics and culture in a snapshot: an overly self-satisfied Calgarian, a somewhat needlessly thinskinned Edmontonian, a snark battle that somehow comes to seem more important than the actual game to some people.

It's almost elegant, really.
posted by gompa at 1:55 PM on February 12, 2013 [13 favorites]


I've never had good enough seats to a game to bring a sign, but I do like to trot out the ol' "THE LAST TIME YOU MADE THE PLAYOFFS IT WAS DEPICTED ON THE BAYEUX TAPESTRY" every once and a while. It's not dirty, no, but the looks it receives are.
posted by troika at 2:00 PM on February 12, 2013 [6 favorites]


If you want to see the real pinnacle of asshole hockey fans, you need to go to a peewee game. No signs though.

Maybe not signs written by fans on posterboard, but there are definitely passive-aggressive signs in peewee hockey.
posted by Copronymus at 2:06 PM on February 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


I am reminded of this, which I love.
posted by killdevil at 3:00 PM on February 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, we never have signs (except for Phil and Mrs. Phil, of course).

We just handed out a weekly flyer in the student section that shared the names of the goalie's mother, sister(s) and girlfriend.
posted by Madamina at 3:09 PM on February 12, 2013


PA: Penalty, number 24, John Smith-
CROWD: SUCKS!!
PA: -two minutes for-
CROWD: SUCKING!!

posted by backseatpilot at 3:00 PM on February 12


The Nashville Predators fans sometimes do this. I am low class enough to think it's hilarious.

So obvs I live in Nashville; I'm originally from Halifax. I went to a broomball game the other night (just a bunch of friends renting a rink and having fun). I so badly wanted to call out people's names like they were goons for the Mooseheads. I have no idea if anybody else does this—except Sloan fans—but it's just a two-note chant of the person's surname, but nobody here would have understood what I was doing. It's moments like that when I feel my foreignness most keenly.

Also, I found out that even at two bit local rinks, and even at 11 pm, somebody is guarding the zamboni. (There isn't any more to this story. I was just sad that I couldn't get up on it.)
posted by joannemerriam at 3:31 PM on February 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


I admire the author's naivety: "Of course, anyone with an ounce of sense knows there's simply no way that sign would ever have been allowed into an NHL arena". There must be dozens of ways of sneaking inappropriate signs into a hockey game. Most obviously one could use a sharpie and the blank reverse side of an appropriate sign and write whatever you wanted after clearing security.
posted by Mitheral at 3:44 PM on February 12, 2013


I was chosen, seemingly at random, to be the captain of my house league team the last year I played. During one game I was lining up for the faceoff, and the opposing centre, a guy I knew from high school but not well, said "Hey, what does that 'C' stand for? Cocksucker?" I looked at him thinking he wanted to fight or something and we cracked up so hard the ref waved both of us out of the circle.

That said, my favourite hockey insult was always "HEY, _________, TWO MINUTES FOR LOOKING SO GOOD!" when someone got a penalty. We even yelled it at guys on our own team. Canadians of a certain age will get this reference.
posted by The Card Cheat at 4:11 PM on February 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


I admire the author's naivety: "Of course, anyone with an ounce of sense knows there's simply no way that sign would ever have been allowed into an NHL arena".

I think that was sarcasm. Harrison Mooney writes a fair amount about hockey at Puck Daddy and the Vancouver Sun.

I adore seeing what kind of anti-Crosby atrocities Capitals and Flyers fans cook up.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:01 PM on February 12, 2013


Also, I found out that even at two bit local rinks, and even at 11 pm, somebody is guarding the zamboni.

Really? If I operated a rink in Nashville, I'd be like, Zamboni Rides $10.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:10 PM on February 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


I think that was sarcasm. Harrison Mooney writes a fair amount about hockey at Puck Daddy and the Vancouver Sun.

yeah I read both and the man is a master of sarcasm. probably the second funniest hockey blogger out there behind Sean McIndoe.
posted by mannequito at 5:24 PM on February 12, 2013


When I was about 9 or 10 (early 70's), my father secured tickets to a Leaf game (vs Philly) at Maple Leaf Gardens. I was thrilled. Back then, people used to bring signs and tape them to a wall just beyond the end glass. Those signs would always be shown during the game telecast and dammit - I wanted that. My buddy and I went to work with a 4 or 5 foot sheet of white paper and magic markers. A few hours later, my homage to Eddie Shack was complete. Game night, "FLYERS GET READY - HERE COMES EDDIE!" was hung with care during the warm-up skate and the next day, I received confirmation that our masterpiece did indeed appear on Hockey Night in Canada.
posted by davebush at 5:26 PM on February 12, 2013


One of the best and worst moments of my career as a college hockey fan was hearing my alma matar's unofficial mascot chant "Your priest molests your children" to the Notre Dame parents who were sitting in front of us. They moved the visiting team benches not soon after that.
posted by snickerdoodle at 5:35 PM on February 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


My favorite fan things from Milwaukee's minor league hockey team games are the whole crowd responding to "Both teams are at equal strength" with "That's debatable" and a pleasant group "Thank You" when they announce one minute left in the period.
posted by drezdn at 5:46 PM on February 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


TheWhiteSkull: "If I operated a rink in Nashville, I'd be like, Zamboni Rides $10."

I've always wondered why I've never seen this anywhere. Does anyone do this? I've never seen anyone but the operator even though it seems like an obvious revenue stream. Either on a charge per ride or promotion.

Somehow this google doodle does quite do it.
posted by Mitheral at 6:42 PM on February 12, 2013


Apparently you can in Tampa!
posted by troika at 7:07 PM on February 12, 2013


Apparently I haven't been paying attention: Calgary apparently gives them away in contests. Montreal $100. Chicago $500. Anaheim (group buy 75 tickets). San Jose $500. You can even do it in Nashville $100.

And here's a fascinating story about the tribulations of Zamboni operators in Calgary.
posted by Mitheral at 7:55 PM on February 12, 2013


That "hey ref, are you pregnant..." sign is gold.
posted by dry white toast at 9:20 PM on February 12, 2013


I am reminded of this, which I love.

Yes.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:31 PM on February 12, 2013


(the zamboni is my penis)
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:57 AM on February 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


When I would go to Princeton University hockey games in the late 80’s, students sitting in the balcony at Baker Rink would rain down tennis balls on the opposing goalie after the first Princeton goal. The first time they did it was against Dartmouth, whose students then decided to return the favor later in the season up there. Right as I was leaving for college (could not get into Princeton), Princeton managed to ban the tennis balls, ruining a fun tradition. However, after a little googling I found that Dartmouth has maintained the tradition despite attempts to crack down on it.
posted by remo at 7:03 AM on February 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but drezdn, you fail to mention that before they say "Thank you..." at the one minute mark, they say, "Hey, asshole, how much time is left?"

Thanks to my ex-husband, I say "That's debatable" at the time announcement :P

At the ten-minute mark of the second period, our student section calls out, "Three... two... one... HALFTIME!"
posted by Madamina at 9:45 AM on February 13, 2013


Lest anyone think that Puck Daddy is just vulgar signs, today they posted this delightful comic.
posted by Copronymus at 11:28 AM on February 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


Another awesome Mooney PD post celebrating Valentine's Day : the top 5 hockey hugs so far this season
posted by mannequito at 2:16 PM on February 13, 2013


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