This is not the Hammer. The Hammer is my penis.

February 12, 2013 8:03 PM

The Hammer is a light-up dildo that's muscle controlled. Or a test your strength game for your vagina or anus. Kristen Stubbs, Ph.D. is a roboticist who runs The Toymaker Project, "a place to think about technological empowerment with respect to sexuality, gender and pleasure." Likely NSFW.
posted by Joakim Ziegler (44 comments total)

There were a lot of very nerdy people I went to college with who would have thought this was really cool.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:04 PM on February 12

Well, that's certainly one of the last few innovative uses for an Arduino. I noticed that, then thought "I could build one of these! Wait... why would I want to?".
posted by DecemberBoy at 8:15 PM on February 12

He's a fully integrated multi-fetish automated being.
posted by boo_radley at 8:19 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]

France is way ahead of The Hammer.
posted by Mitheral at 8:27 PM on February 12 [5 favorites]

The soundtrack for this discussion.
posted by zippy at 8:31 PM on February 12

Trouser wowzer
posted by entropone at 8:32 PM on February 12

Why? Who will be watching? I can see where it might have a leg up in a weenie wagging contest, but in bed? Who has light receptors where this is going? Perhaps if it were aural rather than visual...
posted by jim in austin at 8:33 PM on February 12

But in slapping all his pockets and in feeling all round himself for matches his hand came on the hilt of his little sword [...] Now he drew it out. It shone pale and dim before his eyes. [...] But somehow he was comforted. It was rather splendid to be wearing a blade ...

J R R Tolkein, Bare and Back Again
posted by Joe in Australia at 8:36 PM on February 12 [6 favorites]

I would like to see one that has actual bells and whistles.
posted by not_on_display at 8:38 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

I would like to see one that has actual bells and whistles.

The analog model is a lot more Rube Goldberg.
posted by entropone at 8:45 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

This is adorkable.
posted by desuetude at 8:47 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]

jim in austin, watch the video. It goes the other way around.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:55 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

This explains all those automated status updates and tweets I have been seeing lately.
posted by srboisvert at 8:59 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

I do my best.
posted by rube goldberg at 8:59 PM on February 12 [7 favorites]

I'd like to point out the gif on her website, and the fact that she presented this at Arse(sic) Electronika. I really wanted this to be cooler than it was, but as pointed out, there aren't light receptors where this thing is going. I really like the the creators motto though:

I'm a roboticist and maker who's more interested in people than in technology.

Right on!
posted by ianhattwick at 9:09 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

I think, instead of lighting up, it'd be cool to have areas on the outside end swell, matching the areas where the inside end was squeezed. Can you do that with Arduino?
posted by bink at 9:31 PM on February 12

A more practical (?) implementation would be to put light sensors along the length of the shaft connected to a vibrator in the bulb/base. The speed and rhythm of thrusting controls the speed and rhythm of the vibe.
posted by Decimask at 9:37 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

Bink, are you suggesting Kegel Simon? That sounds amazing.
posted by boo_radley at 9:47 PM on February 12 [2 favorites]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c6Vrnf99Ac

that is all
posted by dunkadunc at 9:54 PM on February 12 [12 favorites]

There are a lot of different things you could do with it, depending on personal preference. In terms of a product, if I were her I'd market the molded-plastic part since that's the hardest bit for someone to DIY. (Assuming they can design it around the Feeldoe patents, or get them invalidated.) Then let people customize it with various sensors, motors/vibrators, etc., which could fit into standard-sized cutouts in the molded-plastic body. You could even sell it as a kit or something, or let people buy various sensors / addon bits that could be easily connected together.

There are probably a lot of people who are geeky enough to want a customizable, insertable sex toy but not geeky enough to actually do a lost-wax mold and wire up an Arduino to some components from Digikey.

Some sort of sex-toy Capsela would probably be pretty successful.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:00 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

LEGO Mindstorms
posted by dunkadunc at 10:06 PM on February 12

Get back to me when it has a little animated head on it that makes
odd expressions, squeals and calls out my name. (with changeable wig)
posted by quazichimp at 11:53 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

reminded of the glow in the dark condom, um, 'lightsaber duel' from that movie where John Ritter had the beard (ff to 3:40)
posted by bartleby at 12:15 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

This would be a great way to screen potential partners, allowing you to weed out people that couldn't crush your penis until your balls turned purple.
posted by orme at 2:18 AM on February 13

I built a "strap-on santa" for santacon this year, no electronics, just a santa. I though for next year maybe doing a "strap-on jesus" too and outfitting them with buzzers for fencing. Yeah, there are definitely applications of this technology that fully use human optical receptors.
posted by jeffburdges at 2:18 AM on February 13

Oh, I thought it said "music controlled" and immediately had visions of the most awesome rave ever.
posted by chillmost at 2:23 AM on February 13

Did not expect her to actually try it out, by sticking it in herself at the end. Also, when she did that, all I could do was notice how she was in some shitty Hotel 6 room.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 2:31 AM on February 13

The soundtrack for this discussion.

No. This is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:38 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

I saw the inventor, um, demonstrate this at a craft summit at MIT. She was running around in a shirtdress with an apron over it during her lecture, talking about her background in robotics and how she began making sex toys. At the close of her lecture, she removed the apron and revealed...this.

I was dumbfounded, and pretty much the only thing I could think of saying was, "I like how it matches her tights."
posted by pxe2000 at 4:17 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

....all I could do was notice how she was in some shitty Hotel 6 room.

Not necessarily. This is a look that I've noticed has been getting popular on trend-setting sites like Apartment Therapy.
posted by Flashman at 4:44 AM on February 13

I'm suddenly envisioning a long, double-ended version of this, where two people can play Sex Pong™, by bouncing the LED between them.

MeMail for where you can send the royalty checks.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:56 AM on February 13 [3 favorites]

Great new moneymaking idea: develop a search engine called "Kegel" that is run by pubic muscles.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:15 AM on February 13

I see that the domain "dickstarter.com" is available....
posted by kimota at 5:44 AM on February 13 [4 favorites]

"That's just some speedrail! But I'm not set up to mold hard rubber..."
posted by werkzeuger at 5:51 AM on February 13

Now that I know that "The Hammer" is a light up dildo, those TV commercials for personal injury lawyers will never be the same.
posted by indubitable at 6:01 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]

Stop! Hammertime!

Also, Likely NSFW - where the hell do you work?
posted by marienbad at 6:26 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

If this ever gets a commercial launch, games at bridal showers will never be the same.
posted by maudlin at 6:32 AM on February 13

as someone who sells sex toys for a living, I would *totally* love to sell these to people!!!!
posted by kuppajava at 7:34 AM on February 13

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Help!

This is not what I expected when I signed up for microcontroller duty. Please find attached my request for reassignment.

Thank you,

arduino71123

posted by chairface at 9:01 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

Maybe she got that Ph.D. at the MIT Media Lab program in Fundamentals of Erotic Computation (ca. 2001, mirrored by Free Republic)
posted by whatzit at 9:34 AM on February 13 [1 favorite]

Did not expect her to actually try it out, by sticking it in herself at the end. Also, when she did that, all I could do was notice how she was in some shitty Hotel 6 room.

I couldn't get past her pulling the 'straining while constipated' face.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:03 PM on February 13 [1 favorite]

we are all acknowledging that the last 15 seconds of this video exist right because I am really happy about that
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 4:27 PM on February 13

Any fix for that youtube link?
posted by jeffburdges at 5:12 AM on February 25

Kristen Stubbs has reposted her video, but the original youtube link remains dead.
posted by jeffburdges at 1:57 PM on March 7