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Challah.
February 21, 2013 9:02 AM   Subscribe

Daniel's Bar Mitzvah Save the Date (SLYT)
posted by roomthreeseventeen (59 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Meetup! Atlanta, GA, at Fernbank Science Center, May 11, 2013.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:07 AM on February 21, 2013 [9 favorites]


Mazel tov, I'm sure Bubby is so proud. I think it would be awesome if the Internets showed up to this. Challa!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:08 AM on February 21, 2013


It's mind-boggling to me, this era of surprisingly slick low-budget video with absolutely godawful amateur audio.


With that gut-reaction negativity out of the way, he seems like a nice kid, and it'll likely be a fun to-do.
posted by tantrumthecat at 9:09 AM on February 21, 2013


Straight kosher munchin'.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:10 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Privilege: cuter than cats on the internet.
posted by availablelight at 9:12 AM on February 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Ha, cute. Wonder who wrote it?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:13 AM on February 21, 2013


The penicillin rhyme made up for the pork/dork one.
posted by supercres at 9:17 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Co-sign: Privilege: cuter than cats on the internet.
posted by availablelight at 11:12 AM on February 21 [+] [!]

posted by hwestiii at 9:18 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Had it not been for the Shaq, NeYo, and mayoral appearances, this would have been really adorable. But with them, it just seems like a tween flaunting his parents' connections.

Let's also hope he does not try to rap his Torah portion.
posted by yellowcandy at 9:24 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Every great, authentic piece of musical kitsch . . . is capable of acting as the accompaniment to imaginary catastrophes." --Theodor Adorno
posted by R. Schlock at 9:27 AM on February 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


But with them, it just seems like a tween flaunting his parents' connections.

Man, if at age 12, my parents had the ability to get Trent Reznor, Joey Ramone and Christopher Lambert to appear in a video save-the-date for my Bar Mitzvah, I would flaunt the shit out of those connections in the faces of my friends and the internet at large.
posted by griphus at 9:27 AM on February 21, 2013 [11 favorites]


I TOTALLY WANT HIM TO TRY TO RAP HIS TORAH PORTION.
posted by kingv at 9:28 AM on February 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


(But then again I had a Vegas Chapel Wedding equivalent of a Bar Mitzvah so maybe I am not one to talk.)
posted by griphus at 9:29 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Per this link, the parents don't have any hookups. The celeb appearances happened because of connections of friends of friends. Networking. And Daniel wrote the lyrics himself, with the help of a DJ.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:33 AM on February 21, 2013


Man, if at age 12, my parents had the ability to get Trent Reznor, Joey Ramone and Christopher Lambert to appear in a video save-the-date for my Bar Mitzvah, I would flaunt the shit out of those connections in the faces of my friends and the internet at large.

Yeah, me too. That's why 12-year-olds are insufferable.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 9:34 AM on February 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Per this link, the parents don't have any hookups.

Mr. Blumen has served as counsel to several of the largest U.S. commercial banks and their affiliates. His experience on the lender side ranges from asset-based lending to investment grade, and from rock stars to major airline carriers to portfolio companies of Berkshire Hathaway. Mr. Blumen represents publicly traded and private companies, including several portfolio companies of private equity firms, as borrowers and issuers of debt and quasi-debt securities. His sector experience includes food and beverage, media, aircraft, transportation, retail and consumer services, healthcare, manufacturing, technology, financial services and insurance.
posted by Behemoth at 9:36 AM on February 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Behemoth, that doesn't mean that he knows the people in the video. The ABC link says it happened through friends of friends.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:40 AM on February 21, 2013


Mr. Blumen has served as counsel to several of the largest U.S. commercial banks and their affiliates.

When this guy starts his own firm I hope he calls it The Blumen Group
posted by theodolite at 9:40 AM on February 21, 2013 [29 favorites]


I understand and respect that some may like this and that he might be a nice kid.

With that preface I just want to make a quick speech *ahem*.....

That, in my opinion, was straight up insufferable and I felt embarrassed after watching it.
posted by sendai sleep master at 9:43 AM on February 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


Per this link, the parents don't have any hookups. The celeb appearances happened because of connections of friends of friends. Networking. And Daniel wrote the lyrics himself, with the help of a DJ.

Danny's mom Liz, and dad Rick Blumen are lawyers at Alton & Brown in Atlanta:
Rick Blumen is co-chair of the Global Finance & Debt Products Group and chairman of the firm’s Partners’ Committee. He represents lead arrangers, lenders, borrowers, private equity firms and underwriters in a variety of finance transactions, including secured and unsecured syndicated credit facilities, private placements, high-yield debt offerings, acquisition financings, recapitalizations, first- and second-lien loans, mezzanine financings and pre-petition workouts and restructurings.

Mr. Blumen has served as counsel to several of the largest U.S. commercial banks and their affiliates. His experience on the lender side ranges from asset-based lending to investment grade, and from rock stars to major airline carriers to portfolio companies of Berkshire Hathaway. Mr. Blumen represents publicly traded and private companies, including several portfolio companies of private equity firms, as borrowers and issuers of debt and quasi-debt securities. His sector experience includes food and beverage, media, aircraft, transportation, retail and consumer services, healthcare, manufacturing, technology, financial services and insurance.
While you may serve as a loyal retainer to the gangsters looting this country, at least your kid gets a kick-ass 13th birthday party.
posted by ennui.bz at 9:44 AM on February 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Per this link, the parents don't have any hookups. The celeb appearances happened because of connections of friends of friends. Networking.

Wow.

Really? Those two sentences, together? Reads like it was written by a former classmate who tried to argue he was "lower middle class" because his parents' combined income (in Maine, and not Kennebunkport Maine) was "only" 90,000/year.

My parents didn't have any "friends of friends" in that category (defined by most of the population as "hookups", like the uncle's fraternity brother who gets you an interview for that i-banking internship), and all the networking in the world would not have made it so.
posted by availablelight at 9:47 AM on February 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


I tell you what, it is a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY that I can't find any clips of Little Big Fat Bernie Gayle's bar mitzvah online.

Safe Men is a tragically underappreciated film.

posted by dubold at 9:48 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


You guys may be right, I thought it was cute at first but now I see how insidious it really is. I can only hope his first act as a man will be to denounce his running dog parents and the robber-barons they serve.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:49 AM on February 21, 2013 [9 favorites]


I really wanted to hate this completely, but the "Oy oy oh-oh-oy" bit really won me over.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:49 AM on February 21, 2013


I demand the blood of the

dammit ad hom
posted by griphus at 9:50 AM on February 21, 2013


Aw well this is just adorablely awkward and hilarious and- WAIT his family has MONEY? BOOOOOO. Booo this. Let's do background research and see what his parents do for a living so we can scoff harder.
posted by windbox at 9:55 AM on February 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Rex".....

Hahahahahaha....
posted by HuronBob at 9:56 AM on February 21, 2013


I would prefer to imagine his parents got these cameos by the iron price.
posted by griphus at 9:57 AM on February 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


I'm reading all of the comments here like that kid raps.
posted by NoMich at 9:58 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would prefer to imagine his parents got these cameos by the iron price.

By taking them off a corpse?
posted by The Tensor at 10:19 AM on February 21, 2013


He's no Rebecca Black.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:27 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Maybe this is something I'd have to be Jewish to understand, but my bar mitzvah wasn't anything special.
posted by Nomyte at 10:35 AM on February 21, 2013


Horrifying.
posted by chococat at 10:35 AM on February 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


By taking them off a corpse?

I once walked into a bar backroom to find Rob Lowe on top of a dead body. After that faitful meeting, the dude did all the "cameos" for me I wanted: at the laundromat, at the grocery store, at work. It was awesome.
posted by griphus at 10:36 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Look, I didn't find it insufferable because the kid is well to do. I found it insufferable because I have an allergy to over the top celebrations of live events. It's completely a personal opinion.

I get it, really. B'nai Mitzvahs, weddings, etc. are all for the parents and the family and the friends and the community as much as they are for the youth, couple, or whoever else might be center stage. But I always think that all the DJ's and the faux-gangster rap songs and the giant cakes actually make the whole event feel removed from both the people in question AND the community around them.

The events become more about the ability of the family in question to pull together an event rather than a celebration of the occasion.

Best wedding I ever went to had a 15 minute ceremony, some very casualy yet very loving vows, and a very basic dance-floor in a tent outside with a bar. The most opulent thing at the whole party was the fact that someone managed to get a signed picture of Leonard Nimoy that said "Dear ____ and ______, may your marriage be long and prosperous."

So, yeah, ok, I have no ill-will toward this kid, he's twelve for god's sake. I just see things like this and get twitchy regarding how removed they seem from the occasion. Am I any better? Who knows, we'll see when the next time an important event rolls into my life.

My opinion on this video isn't about class or politics, it's about how I wish events like this could be irony free zones. Like, I know that weddings etc. havent's been bastions of earnest emotion (history of them being financial institutions etc.) but.... look, I'm babbling..... It's just a stupid video on youtube.


I'm gonna go do something important now.....
posted by sendai sleep master at 10:37 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Me, right now.
posted by sendai sleep master at 10:43 AM on February 21, 2013


The way I see it, rich people have a responsibility to squander money on caterers, DJs and event halls.I think of it as noblesse oblige. What else should they do, hoard money in gold krugerrands and count it every night before bed? How many mp3s, or records, or cd singles or whatever it is DJs use these days will that buy.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:53 AM on February 21, 2013 [3 favorites]



I think my invite got lost in the mail.

BTW, I think the kid is adorable.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:05 AM on February 21, 2013


(Assuming the parents share the politics of their clients) Every dollar spent on this is a dollar not given to a Republican PAC dedicated to taking down Elizabeth Warren and I am ok with that.
posted by emjaybee at 11:05 AM on February 21, 2013


What else should they do, hoard money in gold krugerrands and count it every night before bed?

"Good morning to the day - and next, my gold!
Open the shrine, that I may see my saint!"

- first lines of "Volpone"
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 11:07 AM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm gonna go do something important now.....

But not so important that it couldn't be set aside for you to watch the video and then write paragraphs of contemptuous text about it, about life events, and about the creative work of children.

I'm not one to question your priorities, but perhaps you should revisit them.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 11:15 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Enough with all the negative, all you seder haters.
posted by slogger at 11:20 AM on February 21, 2013


By the way, I was just reading about Art Garfunkel. He essentially held his bar mitvah hostage while he sang as cantor. For four hours.

Insufferable? Probably. Indulgent? Certainly. But without it, we would never have gotten his Golden Globe nominated performance in Carnal Knowledge, and whatever else he might have done.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 11:22 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


But not so important that it couldn't be set aside for you to watch the video and then write paragraphs of contemptuous text about it, about life events, and about the creative work of children.

I'm not one to question your priorities, but perhaps you should revisit them.


The "I'm going to go do something important" was meant to be self depreciating. I know I didn't make it real clear, my apologies for that.

I was long winded in my attempt to say basically that something about this hits me the wrong way but I recognize that I am nowhere near above it or better than it and, in fact, can think of very little that I'm doing with my day today that makes me the right person to pinpoint why this strikes me as off-putting.

My apologies, folks, for taking up so much space on this thread. While my intention was to perhaps beginning a discussion about why this might have hit me and others in a negative way I recognize that I came off as self-righteous.

In conclusion, and to clarify, I'm now going to go do something trivial like look at a cat video.
posted by sendai sleep master at 11:31 AM on February 21, 2013


Thank you for clarifying, and, if I may recommend a cat video, I give you Waffles' Bar Mitzvah.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 11:35 AM on February 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Holla for the Challah!

but seriously, some kids' bar mitzvah vid-invite is on the internet? What kind of freaks and jerks is that going to bring out? Much less just all around aggro (people crapping on him from all directions)? Alright, not my thing, making the private public, but still, seriously, I can imagine this not turning out for the best. Which I hope isn't the case. Kid should have a super bar mitzvah, it's his freaking bar mitzvah. I have no idea why this invite is made public is all.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:51 AM on February 21, 2013


without it, we would never have gotten his Golden Globe nominated performance in Carnal Knowledge, and whatever else he might have done.

I like to think Art Garfunkel's entire life was merely leading up to the soundtrack of Watership Down.
posted by mykescipark at 12:01 PM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


sendai sleep master - I'm with you all the way. No need to apologize as far as I'm concerned. You can bag on it and go do something important at the same time.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:20 PM on February 21, 2013


Maybe this is something I'd have to be Jewish to understand, but my bar mitzvah wasn't anything special.

I, I .... I don't understand this.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:37 PM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm going to record my own video and start a rap feud with this kid.

Yo, Daniel Blumen's bar mitzvah?
my rhymes will kill when they hits ya
too bad you can't take penicillin
cuz my shit is muthafuckin illin

posted by orme at 3:45 PM on February 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


From Bklyn: What kind of freaks and jerks is that going to bring out?
Not even crazy people want to drive down to Fernbank on a Saturday. It's probably fine.
posted by ob1quixote at 4:42 PM on February 21, 2013


If there's any justice in the world, the 4chan community will crash this party.
posted by Perko at 10:38 PM on February 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oy...o-o-o-oy!
posted by salishsea at 11:39 PM on February 21, 2013


Yes, but is it good for the Jews?
posted by snottydick at 8:31 AM on February 22, 2013


How on earth would a group of online trolls disrupting a Jewish ritual to mock a child be justice? I really am not following the logic here.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:23 AM on February 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


The only answer I can up with is that when the trolls show up a golem leaps from the shadow and hulk smashes them back to the internet.
posted by sendai sleep master at 12:09 PM on February 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Great, my mental image of Anonymous is now a golem with "/b/" written on it.
posted by griphus at 12:41 PM on February 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Great way to instill a sense of unearned self-importance and entitlement. Just what the next generation needs: more 1%-er princelings.
posted by TSOL at 2:31 PM on February 22, 2013


Ahhh the 1%, is there nothing they won't do for laughs?
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 11:38 AM on February 23, 2013


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