Of course, Baltimore isn’t all art studios and hipster shops. We zip over to the National Pinball Museum...
I’ve lived in Shirlington, Takoma Park, Silver Spring, and Capitol Hill. [...] DC is the hot blonde girl who waxes herself nearly bald, went to Penn, and works in communications for a prestigious nonprofit.
DC does not pass this test. As far as I can tell from my two years in DC, the only uniquely DC foodstuffs are half-smokes and jumbo slices.
Washington has Class but no Style, whereas
Baltimore has Style but no Class.
How do you attempt to establish your street cred as a world capital when you're actually nothing more than a second-rate city, even by the regional standards of the Northeast corridor, much less the global stage?
Well, you certainly don't do it by comparing yourself to London or Tokyo, that's for shit sure.
Instead you take the coward's way out. You flash the bully's calling card. You shoot fish in a barrel. You find the nearest city that's a little bit weaker than you and try to beat it up.
You mock Richmond for being full of hicks. You dismiss Baltimore for being poor. You caricature the relatives you most fear being associated with, vainly hoping to distance yourself from them, praying that a good lampooning will allow you to elevate yourself by stepping over them.
A classic example of this shallow smarm reared up a couple of weeks ago when Washington Post Senior Editor Marc Fisher authored a travel piece on Baltimore. The article's tone is so drenched in arrogance, the prose so dripping with condescension, that you quickly forget you're reading newspaper of national standing.
So allow me then to take aim at Marc Fisher and The Washington Post, and know that my barbs are tipped with neither ignorance nor envy.
Now here's the thing. What Fisher's piece truly revealed, in all of its ironic glory, was not Baltimore's supposedly quirky shortcomings and buffoonish little victories, but rather Washington's own provincialism.
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