Skip

Nutella Priestess
February 22, 2013 10:58 PM   Subscribe


 
Sweet!
posted by Catblack at 11:02 PM on February 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


I feel acute sorrow that my life does not much more closely resemble whatever is happening here. I mean, it's not even close.
posted by cmoj at 11:13 PM on February 22, 2013 [6 favorites]


I am a better man for having watched this. Fully recommended.
posted by thrind at 11:17 PM on February 22, 2013 [4 favorites]


I currently work at a place where the banana table has Nutella cross-merchandised. I will be showing this to all my befuddled coworkers on Monday.
posted by edeezy at 11:24 PM on February 22, 2013


The most uncomfortable thought I had while watching this was "Is 'covered with Nutella' going to be the replacement for 'blackface'?"
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:28 PM on February 22, 2013 [6 favorites]


The first thought I had was "How many comments till we have the blackface argument"

If only cacao beans had the good taste to be green or purple....
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 11:41 PM on February 22, 2013 [3 favorites]


[I think you guys are joking, but I'll just nip this in the bud and say that if anyone wants to have that argument, take it directly to Metatalk.]
posted by taz at 11:57 PM on February 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


That woke up my dog. Also, there were a few small errors in the English lyrics.
posted by trip and a half at 11:59 PM on February 22, 2013


Don't bathe her and bring her to me.

Also... do you think you could you send up some toast or warm pancakes or something? Perhaps... perhaps a warm pancake the size of a large bedspread? Would that be possible?

I feel slightly less weird for keeping a jar of nutella next to my bed.
posted by loquacious at 12:13 AM on February 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is that a coconut bikini?
posted by Brocktoon at 12:36 AM on February 23, 2013


matching boots!!
posted by facetious at 12:49 AM on February 23, 2013


That's all fine and dandy if you don't have much body hair to speak of. I'm trying to imagine how unpleasant it would be to get all that Nutella off of my chest, for example.
posted by LMGM at 2:06 AM on February 23, 2013


In my day they used Marmite and toast. We could only dream of Nutella. Luxury.
posted by Schroder at 3:06 AM on February 23, 2013


Hope she at least placed. Those judges at the senior center can be harsh.
posted by hal9k at 3:23 AM on February 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


Made it to 1:46 with this and that's about it.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:03 AM on February 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ah yes, once again my allergy to nuts bars my path to transcendence.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 4:04 AM on February 23, 2013


I speak no German and REALLY want to know what is being said, could anyone type out a transcript?
posted by Blasdelb at 4:27 AM on February 23, 2013


This is a related video where the artist makes explicit reference to Bruce Nauman's "Flesh to White to Black to Flesh",
Flesh to Nutella, no back
posted by Blasdelb at 4:31 AM on February 23, 2013


> In my day they used Marmite and toast.

I'm sure that was the specialty of a small magazine with slightly out-of-focus pictures “for the discerning connoisseur” mailed under plain cover from a PO box in Darwen, Lancs. Vitamin B poisoning would be a problem in that community. Also, crumbs.
posted by scruss at 5:20 AM on February 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


"No description available." - pity
posted by MtDewd at 5:43 AM on February 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I speak no German and REALLY want to know what is being said, could anyone type out a transcript?"

Ruhe meine Seele,
by Karl Friedrich Henckell (1864-1929)

Nicht ein Lüftchen regt sich leise,
sanft entschlummert ruht der Hain;
durch der Blätter dunkle Hülle
stiehlt sich lichter Sonnenschein.

Ruhe, ruhe, meine Seele,
deine Stürme gingen wild,
hast getobt und hast gezittert,
wie die Brandung, wenn sie schwillt.

Diese Zeiten sind gewaltig,
bringen Herz und Hirn in Not -
ruhe, ruhe, meine Seele,
und vergiß, was dich bedroht!

Translation:

Not a breeze is stirring lightly,
the wood lies slumbering gently;
through the dark cover of leaves
steals bright sunshine.

Rest, rest, my soul,
your storms have gone wild,
have raged and trembled
like the surf when it breaks.

These times are powerful,
bringing torment to heart and mind;
rest, rest, my soul,
and forget what is threatening you!


Here's a nice interpretation by Jessye Norman and the NY Philharmonic
posted by ts;dr at 5:54 AM on February 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


oneswellfoop: "The most uncomfortable thought I had while watching this was "Is 'covered with Nutella' going to be the replacement for 'blackface'?""

Well, considering there was a direct reference to Josephine Baker's famous banana costume, I'm gonna say that there's at least some semblance of tonedeaf German racism going on here, yes.
posted by barnacles at 6:31 AM on February 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Below the video, it says "no description available". Truer words were never written.
posted by notsnot at 6:59 AM on February 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Here's what's odd. I am a fan of the following things: Nutella, bananas, Nutella with bananas, sexy rituals, performance art, opera sung in a performance-art context. And yet I now crave absolutely none of these things. In fact, I'm a little urpy. Still, I think Klaus Nomi would have been proud.

Not sure what "God Bless America" was doing there, except as a lazy jab at the idea of overconsumption. If overconsumption was being ritually mocked with, say, cheese or Jello, it would have been on point. But Nutella is a European invention, and it's only now making inroads in the American mainstream. A lot of people don't even know what it is.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:21 AM on February 23, 2013


Now I know whose buying those 11lb jars of Nutella at Costco.
posted by cazoo at 7:22 AM on February 23, 2013


I speak no German and REALLY want to know what is being said, could anyone type out a transcript?

At the very end she says something like "The festival of art is opened."

But Nutella is a European invention, and it's only now making inroads in the American mainstream. A lot of people don't even know what it is.

At this point, I think Nutella is in the American mainstream. They've been advertising on TV for the last couple of years (bizarrely promoting Nutella as healthy, but whatever) and my local Target stocks it, among its somewhat limited food selection (my local Target isn't really a full-scale Target, let alone a SuperTarget). Five years ago you had to go at least a little out of your way to buy Nutella, but not now.
posted by hoyland at 7:36 AM on February 23, 2013


I love the idea that she didn't practice opening the jar of Nutella while covered in Nutella. This is why you do dress rehearsals, people!
posted by odinsdream at 7:44 AM on February 23, 2013 [10 favorites]


That was the best part. I think a performance of just people covered in substances, struggling to open jars of those substances, would actually be pretty compelling. Peanut butter, jam, mustard, pickles,....
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:49 AM on February 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


Made it to 1:46 with this and that's about it.

Then you missed the banana.
posted by Diablevert at 8:22 AM on February 23, 2013


The first thought I had was "How many comments till we have the blackface argument"

It didn’t even occur to me, but how many comments on any subject until someone pulls out the "offensive" card is sort of a game you can play.
posted by bongo_x at 8:48 AM on February 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I shall perform my Elegy For An MFA Performance

I shall be covered in some substance
I shall throw a substance at the audience
I shall conceive of the project while under the influence of some substance
The performance shall be without substance
The faculty and my fellow students who are required to be present shall clap politely and go home
posted by ook at 8:52 AM on February 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Delicious.
posted by Sailormom at 8:56 AM on February 23, 2013


Okay that's fine. Thanks for the translation.

Everyone knows you are supposed to put the chocolate on the banana first, but that was a minor heresy. I was gratified to see that he was at last able to get his flag up for the singing of A-t-B.
posted by mule98J at 9:49 AM on February 23, 2013


The most uncomfortable part for me was the out-of-tune orchestra.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:07 AM on February 23, 2013


The best art is nutty while keeping it tasteful.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:39 AM on February 23, 2013


Certainly the finest performance of its kind I've ever seen.
posted by Segundus at 10:50 AM on February 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I always start my day with Nutella. Never considered a banana skirt, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:17 AM on February 23, 2013


"Ist das Kunst, oder kann das weg?"

Is it art? Or can we just throw it away?

Well, but it would be a shame to waste that much Nutella.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:36 PM on February 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


While sitting in a hotel lobby, my mom came up behind me and asks what I was watching. I didn't know what to say.
posted by DoubleLune at 5:19 PM on February 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Thorzdan: I always start my day with Nutella. Never considered a banana skirt, though.

Do you mean before or after your shower?
posted by spbmp at 7:54 PM on February 23, 2013


Does anybody know who's the portrait at the center of the shrine?
posted by spbmp at 7:58 PM on February 23, 2013


Two girls one cup: art edition
posted by MuffinMan at 5:29 AM on February 24, 2013


bongo_x: The first thought I had was "How many comments till we have the blackface argument"

It didn’t even occur to me, but how many comments on any subject until someone pulls out the "offensive" card is sort of a game you can play.
Bongo Bingo?

I know: it's not bingo-like, but the name, man! The name will sell it!
posted by IAmBroom at 1:32 PM on February 25, 2013


« Older The betting machine   |   Acquired Savant Syndrome Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post