Comments on: Shut Up and Fly

Shut Up and Fly

the young rope-rider — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:02:35 -0800

When we return, our eyes will have shrunken into tiny slots and we will forage on the ground for centipedes and other high-protein foods we can feel with our hands. A first-hand account of Rihanna's 777 tour. Day One: There may be 777 tour babies nine months from now. Stockholm (Syndrome). Cray In Paris.

By: littlerobothead

littlerobothead — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:07:44 -0800

Rock journalism is dead, and that sound you hear is Lester Bangs whirling at 45 RPM in his grave. Sorry, but the tone of the two linked posts was awful. "Can we just, like, talk about RiRi for like? One second?"

By: backseatpilot

backseatpilot — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:10:10 -0800

she's probably in a private plane that will ride alongside us AIRPLANES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

By: knile

knile — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:16:01 -0800

I am confused. What Navy is traveling with her? Shouldn't they be on ships? MetaFilter: a sovereign airborne colony that fluctuates between madness and murderousness

By: knile

knile — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:16:57 -0800

AIRPLANES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY posted by backseatpilot Eponysterical.

By: Diagonalize

Diagonalize — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:20:05 -0800

These articles make me feel old and possibly dyslexic. I keep reading the words over and over, but the sentences are still incomprehensible. I'm in my 20's. I know who Rihanna is. I'm literate. But I still have no idea what the hell they're talking about most of the time.

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:20:23 -0800

knile: I am confused. What Navy is traveling with her? Shouldn't they be on ships? The Rihanna Navy is the collective name for her fans, for some reason.

By: RobotVoodooPower

RobotVoodooPower — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:33:38 -0800

A first-hand account of Rihanna's 777 tour Are you saying Rihanna has an overvoltage in her lithium-ion batteries? Oh wait, that's the wrong plane ...

By: eriko

eriko — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:34:07 -0800

I will admit that 777 actually refers to the Boeing 777 aircraft. Because otherwise, this would have been even more confusing!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:34:34 -0800

Maybe they'll fight alongside the Kiss Army, the Metallica Marines and the Ramones Coast Guard.

By: eriko

eriko — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:37:58 -0800

Surely The Ramones would be the Public Health Service. "I wanna be sedated," after all.

By: CautionToTheWind

CautionToTheWind — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:39:52 -0800

If you go 777, then don't complain if someone deletes your files.

By: FAMOUS MONSTER

FAMOUS MONSTER — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:40:51 -0800

I joined the GG Allin Foreign Legion. I...don't recommend it.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:41:56 -0800

I was invited to join the Gary Glitter Scouts, but, uh, I got a really creepy vibe at the meeting...

By: eriko

eriko — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:45:13 -0800

If you go 777, then don't complain if someone deletes your files Oh, but it's fun to do that and then set the schng flag on the file....

By: ennui.bz

ennui.bz — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:49:10 -0800

I joined the Dead Kennedys Martyr's Brigade... it was a blast.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:55:09 -0800

I was disappointed that the second link had nothing to do with Robert Cray. I can't make out most of what it actually was about, except it must have been just incredibly hip. In other news, Robert Cray is going to perform in Paris starting tomorrow.

By: edgeways

edgeways — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:56:20 -0800

It's all just so mentally ill!

By: dr_dank

dr_dank — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:09:27 -0800

Cray cray and preggers triggers a cockpunching impulse like no other words in human language.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:13:49 -0800

People still give a shit about Robert Cray? Are these the same people who still care that Eric Clapton is recording?

By: Bwithh

Bwithh — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:17:11 -0800

knile: I am confused. What Navy is traveling with her? Shouldn't they be on ships? The Rihanna Navy is the collective name for her fans, for some reason. posted by Rock Steady at 8:20 AM on 2/26 Ohhhhh... That was why she was in that Battleship movie. That totally makes sense now

By: borkencode

borkencode — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:23:49 -0800

Are we just making up collective names for fans now? Because it's going to be hard to beat Foreigner Legion.

By: Renoroc

Renoroc — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:27:39 -0800

Nothing tops the Slaytanic Wehrmacht

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:28:09 -0800

Someone should go all Soviet-style with their collective fan names and have like the Rage Against the Machine Glorious Tractors of the Revolution.

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:28:11 -0800

I thought about joining the Crass People's Militia, but then I realized I could just join Crass.

By: Pruitt-Igoe

Pruitt-Igoe — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:32:46 -0800

Is this going to turn into Sex House?

By: 3.2.3

3.2.3 — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:32:56 -0800

CHANEL DOOKIE ROPE

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:38:13 -0800

I wasn't drunk, but might have been contact drunk I think I've been this. It's odd.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:56:46 -0800

I just assumed the 3rd link was about a supercomputer out for a night on the town in the city of light.

By: thelonius

thelonius — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:58:30 -0800

that kind of tour must be like a cross between being in the army and being chained up in a madhouse

By: OHenryPacey

OHenryPacey — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:17:32 -0800

I was invited to join the Gary Glitter Scouts, but, uh, I got a really creepy vibe at the meeting... because they seemed so inclusive????

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:21:27 -0800

Metafilter: A bunch of programmers pretending to have an opinion on Rihanna

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:46:53 -0800

IM 40 AND WHAT IS THIS

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:47:00 -0800

JK love it.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:47:51 -0800

Great article, good job, proud.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:50:08 -0800

Rhianna is the Nas to Beyonce's Jay Z except with generating insane press coverage instead of disstracks. DISCUSS.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 10:59:02 -0800

Huh. After reading the comments here, I expected the articles to be crazy or weird or unexpected incomprehensible or something. But it's really bland writing by a writer who seems to be trying really hard to pretend that a totally predictable pop tour experience is really surprising and exciting. I guess she understands that her readers likely have no idea how totally boring and mundane the stuff she's describing is and that they'll breathlessly consume it as if there's something remarkable or special about Rhianna, her fans, or her tour. I mean, honestly, the douchebag from Extreme appearing for a minute on the plane and then going back up front is, at best, an interesting display of un-earned but well-executed rock bravado. Oh well. For all my jadedness about the whole thing, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still wish I was part of that circus anyway.

By: herbplarfegan

herbplarfegan — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:15:59 -0800

Strange: When I got half-through the first sentence of the third link, I actually said the words "Go away" as I closed the tab. I guess I'm a "hater" in this context? (*checks lawn)

By: billyfleetwood

billyfleetwood — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:42:55 -0800

I think the missed opportunity of this "tour" would be some sort of aggregation of all of the stories produced by the 150 journalists that were on board. I happen to personally know two of them, and following their twitter/fb/instagram accounts in real time was pretty hilarious and fascinating. The whole thing was definitely a media experiment gone sideways. Looked at from that angle, it's definitely more fascinating than the "What's Rihanna up to?" angle. Here's another take on the whole thing.

By: gilrain

gilrain — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:03:51 -0800

The World Famous: "I'd be lying if I said I didn't still wish I was part of that circus anyway." It's a shit business.

By: Diagonalize

Diagonalize — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:05:03 -0800

Missed opportunity, definitely. I feel like this would all be a lot more interesting if it were approached more holistically, focusing on the group (press, Navy, all of it) as a whole, instead of giddy, breathless accounts of 15 second brushes with Rihanna. The Fader article was infinitely more readable, and I feel like it painted a clearer picture of what a bizarre media circus it is. Truth be told, I'd probably prefer it if Rihanna was just a red herring and the whole damn thing was actually a secret anthropological study instead.

By: tigrefacile

tigrefacile — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:07:51 -0800

Rock journalism is really still this excitable and self-devouring? Good to know, hadn't checked for a while. And Rihanna is both remarkable and special, but not because of the circus.

By: Diagonalize

Diagonalize — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:10:55 -0800

Hey, I don't mean to disparage Rihanna. I just think its going to be hard to get any worthwhile rock journalism out any of this.

By: MikeMc

MikeMc — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:51:05 -0800

Rihanna's Insane 777 Tour Is Cray in Paris The person who wrote that headline should be buried up to their neck and stoned for using the term "Cray". My lawn, you know what the fuck to do.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 17:07:10 -0800

If you've got a better suggestion as to how to describe the new French supercomputer built from components of Rhianna's plane and touring rig, I'm all ears.

By: MexicanYenta

MexicanYenta — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 03:46:40 -0800

Nuno Bettencourt is playing sideman for Rihanna? What a fucked up world. Is Allan Holdsworth playing backup for Taylor Swift, too?

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 09:47:25 -0800

Yes, and Robert Fripp is a member of One Direction.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 09:52:50 -0800

And Johnny Marr is one of the judges on The Voice. ok i'll stop now