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Dora Viola G.I. de Orellana Plantagenet & Co.
February 27, 2013 7:24 AM   Subscribe

"In the records of the more or less illustrious dead, there are many who are remembered for only one thing - but there can be few whose sole claim to posthumous fame is the extravagantly bizarre naming of their children..."
posted by Iridic (36 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Damn that's how you name race-horses, not human children'
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:30 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I just read those names aloud and now there's a lot of sulfur smoke and an angry demon here claiming to be "Marquis Andrealphus." He is demanding bus fare. Mods?
posted by griphus at 7:31 AM on February 27, 2013 [23 favorites]


Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart Plantagenet.

What do you suppose that Odin is doing in there with Cromwell and Plantagenet?

Makes me think fondly of Praise-God Barebone.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:32 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is how people entertained themselves before the web.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:32 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Praise-God Barebone.

Ah yes the star of the first Puritan porno: "UnBuckled"
posted by The Whelk at 7:33 AM on February 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


I like the one that he snuck "Fraudifilius" into. You know there's got to be a Maury-worthy backstory to that one.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:33 AM on February 27, 2013


I would sooner undertake to explain the hardest problem in geometry, than pretend to account for it, that a gentleman of my father's great good sense,—knowing, as the reader must have observed him, and curious too in philosophy,—wise also in political reasoning,—and in polemical (as he will find) no way ignorant,—could be capable of entertaining a notion in his head, so out of the common track,—that I fear the reader, when I come to mention it to him, if he is the least of a cholerick temper, will immediately throw the book by; if mercurial, he will laugh most heartily at it;—and if he is of a grave and saturnine cast, he will, at first sight, absolutely condemn as fanciful and extravagant; and that was in respect to the choice and imposition of christian names, on which he thought a great deal more depended than what superficial minds were capable of conceiving.

His opinion, in this matter, was, That there was a strange kind of magick bias, which good or bad names, as he called them, irresistibly impressed upon our characters and conduct.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:34 AM on February 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Still the best name of all time.
posted by jquinby at 7:34 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Dweezil" and "Moon Unit" etc.?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:37 AM on February 27, 2013


Tollemache, previously
posted by obscurator at 7:37 AM on February 27, 2013


By the way, Monty Python got here first.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:38 AM on February 27, 2013


Name of the Year bracket competition. Sadly seems to have missed 2012. Here's hoping for a triumphant return in 2013.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:39 AM on February 27, 2013


Lyonetta Edith Regina Valentine Myra Polwarth Avelina Phillipa Violantha de Orellana Plantagenet.

Gesundheit!
posted by notsnot at 7:45 AM on February 27, 2013


Sadly Sir Hrothgar Habbakuk used to call himself 'John' in America.
posted by Segundus at 7:46 AM on February 27, 2013


I used to look through lots and lots of old wills as part of my job, you saw some weird stuff. There was a family with the surname "Snow," they named one of their children Frost and the other Ice.

A coworker swears he saw a census record where the family had about fifteen kids, the last kid they just gave up and named it Abcdef.
posted by marxchivist at 7:52 AM on February 27, 2013


Well, to be fair, number 5 is spelled Lyona Decima Veroica Esyth Undine Cyssa Hylda Rowena Adela Thyra Ursuala Ysabel Blanche Lelias Dysart Plantagenet, but it's pronounced Throat-Wobbler Mangrove.
posted by jbickers at 7:53 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Blazonberrie.
posted by Kabanos at 8:00 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have seen lots of Brazilian passports. These are not that weird.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:04 AM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Dweezil" and "Moon Unit" etc.?

Not to mention their poor brother Ahmet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:05 AM on February 27, 2013


I wonder how these names would fare in the Awful Baby Names: You Make them I Berate Them Tumblr?
posted by Leezie at 8:15 AM on February 27, 2013


I like these names. There are enough John Smiths out there. People are so afraid to be different.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:26 AM on February 27, 2013


I know I've mentioned my grandfather "Revilo Oliver" [lastname] before (it's a palindrome, and he hated it with a passion). I also know I've mentioned my gradeschool friend "Krishna" (her parents were not Hindi, nor were they Buddhists; they just heard it somewhere thought it sounded pretty) and her brother "Theoden" (yes, after the King of Rohan). And I've probably mentioned Krishna's two children "Daedelus" and "Cordelia" (Cordelia most likely was Shakesperean - Krishna is also into theater - and I have no idea about Daedelus).

The wacky Puritan names come from a tradition of naming your children after Biblical, ethical or moral traits you wanted your kids to emulate ("Patience" or "Felicity" or "Prudence", etc.). Which is why I am irretrievably amused that one of my own Puritan foremothers was named "Free Love".

You ran into all sorts of wacky names in the theater department at my college - there was one girl named "Electra", whom a lot of guys wanted to meet just based on the name alone. I also met a guy whose name was "Sabre Schnitzer". But far and away the best name I've run into on an actual person was "Cantad Hoopachu Svensgaard", who whenever anyone asked him about it would only shrug and say "my parents were both hippies".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 AM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


On a semi-related note, strangers have lots of opinions on bestowing last names upon children. Some truly cringe-worthy comments there.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:34 AM on February 27, 2013


Let's not forget Quvenzhané.
posted by gertzedek at 8:35 AM on February 27, 2013


The Shanda-Lears and their daughter Crystal.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:37 AM on February 27, 2013


Mr and Mrs Nation and their daughter, Sue.
posted by Major Tom at 8:42 AM on February 27, 2013


Don't forget Mr. and Mrs. Loaf's boy, Meat.
posted by jbickers at 9:04 AM on February 27, 2013


My favorite name is Wonderful Terrific Monds. He went on to have a son, Wonderful Terrific Monds, Jr., who played in the NFL. He, in turn, had a son, Wonderful Terrific Monds III, who played minor league baseball.
posted by Flunkie at 9:05 AM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is a joke right?

4. Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Nevill Dysart Plantagenet.


Spells out: L.Y.O.N.E.L. T.H.E. S.E.C.O.N.D. P.
posted by jindc at 9:05 AM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


This is a joke right?

Apparently not!
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:17 AM on February 27, 2013


Okay, "Granville Grey Marchmont Manners Plantagenet", from his first marriage, is the best name ever. He should have quit while he was ahead.

(fond of alliterative names, so I may be biased)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:23 AM on February 27, 2013


It continues to amaze me how often this exact comment can be reused. It's like a stopped clock or something, and every so often Metafilter comes around to it again.

That said:

Have we learned nothing from the example of Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon?
posted by Naberius at 9:37 AM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


The wacky Puritan names come from a tradition of naming your children after Biblical, ethical or moral traits you wanted your kids to emulate...

Saw a pension for Civil War soldier, his first name was "Anguish." Maybe it was a difficult birth.
posted by marxchivist at 10:10 AM on February 27, 2013


The future is in ungooglable names.

An ungooglable name doesn't have to be boring.

"PHP Vulnerability Enlargement Download"

"Flat Belly Free MP3"

An overly SEO optimized name will do great things for your privacy.
posted by idiopath at 10:10 AM on February 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


An overly SEO optimized name will do great things for your privacy.
Similarly but in a different direction, perhaps that casino who gives people money to tattoo their website across their forehead will start paying people to name their kids "Golden Palace Dot Com Wilson".
posted by Flunkie at 10:21 AM on February 27, 2013


> ungooglable names

Or names that cause database issues?
posted by mjklin at 4:19 PM on March 5, 2013


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