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Let's Get That Cream Out Of There
February 27, 2013 2:10 PM   Subscribe

David Neevel only likes the chocolate cookie part of the OREO, so he built a machine to remove the creme. (slyt, machine running at 3:27)
posted by DynamiteToast (53 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
Add one more item to the list of Dremel functions.

In the spirit of unnecessarily complex processes for incredibly simple tasks, I develop a pulley which in turn activates a winching system tied to my elbow and wrist which, when properly adjusted for height and flexibility, manually pulls my hand to my forehead in a salutation, sir!
posted by Think_Long at 2:16 PM on February 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


If he needs someone to take all the creme off his hands I um...might know a guy.
posted by nevercalm at 2:23 PM on February 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


It's a 4 minute viral ad for Oreos. meh.
posted by Catblack at 2:23 PM on February 27, 2013 [8 favorites]


Madness.
posted by delmoi at 2:24 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I feel like there's something wrong with me. I don't like any parts of an Oreo.
posted by sweetkid at 2:25 PM on February 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Obsession: he's been working on his machine for 0.04 years. "I didn't get to see my girlfriend or my dog for hours at a time, sometimes."
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:25 PM on February 27, 2013 [13 favorites]


Worth it for the stache.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:26 PM on February 27, 2013


Typical engineer. Overengineering. Just turn the damn cookie upside down. The creme falls right off.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:26 PM on February 27, 2013


Call me when they can build a machine to do my vital job: standing to the side with a hopeful glint in my eye, asking if you're going to eat that creme then.
posted by Greg Nog at 2:26 PM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


You monster.
posted by absalom at 2:27 PM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


My brother and I both eat (that should be past tense, as I haven't eaten an oreo in years, but I have to say I'd probably be tempted to do it this way if I were to get my hands on an oreo (and some privacy, because oh the shame) today) our oreos with a knife.

Use a butter knife to cleave the cream from the cookies, carefully stack the disks of cream on your plate, dip the cookies in milk and suffer through them quickly, piss and moan when a piece of the shitty cookie inevitably falls into your glass, then eat the delicious, delicious cream last.

This is how it's done.
posted by phunniemee at 2:31 PM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Why would you do that when you can buy them separate?
posted by ApathyGirl at 2:32 PM on February 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


There's a reason they make Double Stuf Oreos but not Only-Wafer Oreos...if people want to destroy their body eating horrible processed shit, they at least want it to be tasty.
posted by JauntyFedora at 2:33 PM on February 27, 2013


Man, just make 'em yourself.

(Provided you want to spend an hour or so constructing a reasonable facsimile of a commercial product which, at the end, makes you say "Huh, tastes like an Oreo." Also, if you want to ruin the magic of Oreo filling: It's just Crisco, butter, and sugar.)
posted by Turkey Glue at 2:35 PM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


The only reason to take an Oreo apart is to put in a slice of banana.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:35 PM on February 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


It is hard to find a decent sandwich in that part of town.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:40 PM on February 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


The only reason to take an Oreo apart is to put in a slice of banana.

If we're going to get crazy here, I suggest dipping oreos in salsa.

It's actually a lot better than you'd think it'd be.
posted by phunniemee at 2:45 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Perhaps, but I'm thinking it would be terrible.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:47 PM on February 27, 2013 [10 favorites]


Dude, don't mess with the cookie. You're going to be martian-manhuntered till even your hair aches.
posted by Iosephus at 2:51 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


ApathyGirl: Those are delicious, but they are expensive as heck.
posted by absquatulate at 2:57 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Inelegant and in bad taste.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 2:59 PM on February 27, 2013


I mean, really.... they're not very good.

Nutter Butter Wafers are a superior Nabisco product, but if it's gotta be a boxed cookie, we've got Keebler Fudge Sticks (best quality when frozen), and then there's Thin Mints. I just dunno.
posted by seanmpuckett at 3:01 PM on February 27, 2013


Working with food in an unheated, garage-like workspace in an industrial area? At night, are there not rats?
posted by R. Mutt at 3:06 PM on February 27, 2013


Rube Goldberg would be proud, I guess...but not liking the creme innards of an Oreo? Well, it takes all kinds...
posted by wolfgirl at 3:06 PM on February 27, 2013


It's a 4 minute viral ad for Oreos.

More than that, Neevel is not some random weird physicist dude who invented something random and weird. He works for Oreo's ad agency.
posted by dersins at 3:18 PM on February 27, 2013 [8 favorites]


I should alert you cream-lovers to the limited-time Mega Stuf Oreos. I do not know where the other F went.
posted by maryr at 3:19 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gotta be Portland, right?

(off to check Google)
posted by joe vrrr at 3:19 PM on February 27, 2013


Yep, Portland.
posted by joe vrrr at 3:20 PM on February 27, 2013


This isn't even good. He's strapped full tools to moving platforms. It's so lazy.
posted by mrnutty at 3:21 PM on February 27, 2013


I'm beginning to doubt the stache is real.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:26 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, double-stuff it, party poopers. This is fun! It's well done, too. I can attest to the difficulty of building food-preparation junkbots, and this one is pretty slick.
posted by phooky at 3:34 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I wonder if he'd accept a commission to build a machine that can remove the hazelnuts from Toffiffees?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:38 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]




This is a few cartoon sound effects away from being a Portlandia sketch.
posted by ludwig_van at 3:44 PM on February 27, 2013


A four minute video of an Oreo-de-creamer without a single mention of "arduino" or "Raspberry Pi"? I call Pepsi Blue.
posted by klarck at 3:56 PM on February 27, 2013


And the dental floss hatchet scraper doesn't even work! I mean, at least try.
posted by mrnutty at 3:58 PM on February 27, 2013


You know, the Oreos in Canada taste very different than the US ones. And have a different design on the wafer.
posted by punkrockrat at 4:08 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


You know, the Oreos in Canada taste very different than the US ones. And have a different design on the wafer.

Fauxreos.
posted by phunniemee at 4:22 PM on February 27, 2013


you really don't want to click this.

Personally, I would prefer that MetaFilter not become the obstacle course of gross-out links that the Reddit front page is.
posted by benito.strauss at 4:50 PM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


Why would you do that when you can buy them separate?

Or you could try this. Or this (those things are really good in milk, but pretty expensive). Or you can get the real thing from one of those restaurant wholesale groceries (sold as as ice cream toppings)
posted by straight at 4:54 PM on February 27, 2013


Man, just make 'em yourself.


I've made that recipe. The girls I invited over after were not terribly impressed by the time-results ratio.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 5:30 PM on February 27, 2013


Wait, he takes the cream filling out? On purpose? I'm sure this gentleman is well-meaning, but we hardly need to model our Oreo actions on a man who clearly needs to get his head examined.
posted by zardoz at 5:48 PM on February 27, 2013


Next, how about a machine that knocks the ice cream off your cone, or desalinates pickles, or scoops the filling out of your taco, or punches you in the stomach?
posted by orme at 5:57 PM on February 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


My favorite part of this was how perfectly dry his humor was.
posted by Nattie at 6:01 PM on February 27, 2013


Call me when Taco Bell is making a shell out of them.

Also did your mom love you enough to make the enticement featured on the Famous Chocolate package? Mine mother did only once, and rightly so. Once that heavencake made a million angels dance on my tongue, all others to come after tasted like war rations snacks made by Hydrox.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 6:04 PM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Meta.
posted by doreur at 6:34 PM on February 27, 2013


desalinates pickles

When I was a kid, my grandmother, who was obviously not a New Yorker, made me a hotdog with sauerkraut and spicy brown mustard at my request. She rinsed the sauerkraut and didn't actually put any mustard on it because she thought the kraut was too sour and the mustard was too spicy. I gotta say, de soured kraut is possibly the worst hot dog condiment ever.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:42 PM on February 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


After I scrape off the creme I place a thin slice of cheddar in its place Yummy.
posted by notreally at 6:43 PM on February 27, 2013


you really don't want to click this.

What, why? I thought it was common knowledge that the wafers in Oreos are made out of ground up roasted spiders. That's why they're black, not a chocolaty brown, and so crunchy.

Though he's right to get rid of the creme. Pureed mealworms and bark grub, that. Too much fat.
posted by loquacious at 8:31 PM on February 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


I want to try an Oreo dipped in salsa without actually having to taste it.
posted by gt2 at 9:33 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


He's like the long-lost brother of Ron Swanson.
posted by littlesq at 9:41 PM on February 27, 2013


I agree, the design has no elegance, very high school. And no creme recovery??
posted by djrock3k at 9:49 PM on February 27, 2013


Also did your mom love you enough to make the enticement featured on the Famous Chocolate package? Mine mother did only once, and rightly so. Once that heavencake made a million angels dance on my tongue,...

I love my kids and I've made that cake. Will do so again next week when my daughter comes to visit prior to moving to Denver, which is 1004.2 miles from me.

(This has virtually nothing to do with this post, but I figure if I say "my daughter is moving to Denver" enough between now and then, I'll be able to get through the actual goodbye with minimal tears.)
posted by she's not there at 11:40 PM on February 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


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