Humiliations in the Hidden Temple
February 28, 2013 8:53 AM   Subscribe

The best of the worst of the oh-so-watchable cringe-fest that was Legends of the Hidden Temple.
posted by gilrain (21 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite

 
We have also marveled at the show previously.
posted by gilrain at 8:58 AM on February 28, 2013


"Come on over...come on over..."

That's clearly the best part. Let's relive your failure with your partner.
posted by Fizz at 8:59 AM on February 28, 2013


The animated gifs are PERFECT.
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:07 AM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


A few years ago, my sister and I would watch Legends of the Hidden Temple on.. I think it was Nickelodeon GAS, at our parents house, over bowls of cereal. We'd each pick a different team and root for them strenuously. If one of the final two teams was the Purple Parrots, I'd be stuck with them, because my sister hated the Purple Parrots with an unsettling and unexplained fury.
She's a doctoral candidate now, but I still remember eating cereal with her as she swore out an 11 year old on TV for missing a really easy question about Marco Polo's lost codpiece.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 9:11 AM on February 28, 2013 [10 favorites]


Marco Polo's lost codpiece.

If you're lurking and considering joining metafilter, might I suggest this as a potential user name.
posted by Fizz at 9:14 AM on February 28, 2013 [23 favorites]


"Oooooohhh, so close. Just a hand reach away. She did such a great job." Really you mannequin from REI, REALLY!?
posted by stltony at 9:24 AM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


As a nine-year-old watching this, I laughed at the kids who failed because I knew that when I was on the show one day I would be a Blue Barracuda, and I would win the Huffy bike or Sony Walkman with headphones for everyone.

And then I found out I was watching reruns and that the show had ended a couple years earlier.
posted by book 'em dano at 9:35 AM on February 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


this fucking gif
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:40 AM on February 28, 2013 [8 favorites]


This show and Nick Arcade seemed to recruit the dumbest fucking kids imaginable. It was like my introduction to sports fandom. NO! COME ON! DON'T GO THAT WAY! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU!

Uppity Pigeon #2, if you ever want to troll your sister, you know what to do.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:41 AM on February 28, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'm pretty sure Legends of the Hidden Temple was an extended metaphor for the American middle school experience.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:46 AM on February 28, 2013 [14 favorites]


And by American I mean North American. I really have no idea how middle-grade public education is in other parts of the Americas, but by all accounts in the US and Canada it's fucking awful in every possible way.

Like this show.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:53 AM on February 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Albert is incredibly stoic in the face of his partner's near success/utter failure.
posted by drezdn at 9:57 AM on February 28, 2013


I can't help look at these kids with pity and disgust. You are on a shitty game show playing for shitty prizes directed by a man who tucks his god damn pants into his shorts. But when I was a kid and watched this show I dreamed perfect dreams of being on it and running through the maze in record time.

Give me a full tuft of pubic hair and a 9-5 job any day of the week over those dreams.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:14 AM on February 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


If you're lurking and considering joining metafilter, might I suggest this as a potential user name.

Done, Fizz!
posted by Marco Polo's Lost Codpiece at 10:44 AM on February 28, 2013 [31 favorites]


From an old LOTHT thread (I still can't help giggling at it):
One of my favorite internet things is when YTMND redesigned their front page, moving many features to inconvenient places and prompting one particularly smartass user to make this handy guide to finding the "Top 5" chart in the new layout.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:58 AM on February 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Nickelodeon's game shows were all so cruel. If you're bored and want some laughs, track down videos of the kids on GUTS.

The absolute best (worst?) challenge was the one where they were bungee corded, had to jump off some cliff thing, then jump back up and shoot a nerf bow and arrow at a target. The kids never weighed quiiiite enough to actually bungee down to hit the floor, so they just sort of flailed wildly.
posted by phunniemee at 11:16 AM on February 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Nickelodeon: they just sort of flailed wildly
posted by flaterik at 3:29 PM on February 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure if any of the other old Progressive Boink kids are still writing stuff like this, but I'm glad Jon Bois is.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:24 PM on February 28, 2013


Example of the bad bungee jumping.
posted by drezdn at 4:25 PM on February 28, 2013


I must have been the most lily-livered kid imaginable, because I remember being totally scared of the zombie thingies jumping out of the temple at the contestants. *shudder*
posted by threeants at 6:16 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]



The majority of these weren't actually puzzles so much as an exercise in flipping switches until one of them worked. The contestant might have to sit in a series of thrones, or grab a torch and stick it into whichever pedestal happened to unlock the door. The show's producers often failed to clearly mark these things, and the result was an embarrassed, hopeless preteen meandering around a room on national television.

There was nothing cringy about it, besides possible racism. It was a live action videogame adventure!


I must have been the most lily-livered kid imaginable, because I remember being totally scared of the zombie thingies jumping out of the temple at the contestants. *shudder*

Same here!
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:59 PM on February 28, 2013


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