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February 28, 2013 3:22 PM   Subscribe

The Klements Racing Sausages have been a popular feature at Milwaukee Brewers games since the 1990s. On February 16, the “Guido the Italian Sausage” costume was stolen from a bar in Cedarburg, WI. Happily, the missing link was returned to the bar Wednesday. Rewards for the safe return of the sausage, including a year’s supply of mustard and sauerkraut, seem not yet to have been claimed.

This is not the first time Guido the sausage has been the victim of a crime. In 2003, Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon hit him with a baseball bat as he competed in the sausage race.
posted by dr. boludo (21 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'd totally go for a years supply of mustard.
posted by doctor_negative at 3:24 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Missing link."

As a devotee of the pun, I tips my hat.
posted by yoink at 3:33 PM on February 28, 2013 [12 favorites]


A years supply of kraut for me would be about one bag.
Mustard, though...Just park the tanker in the back yard, please.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:37 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


dr. boludo: "Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon hit him with a baseball bat as he competed in the sausage race."

God bless you, Pennsylvania.
posted by boo_radley at 3:46 PM on February 28, 2013


I'm so glad that Guido was returned. I feared the wurst.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:53 PM on February 28, 2013 [9 favorites]


I hope someone brings back their pants, too. Mercy.
posted by theredpen at 3:54 PM on February 28, 2013


IT WAS ME! I RETURNED IT!








Please?
posted by magstheaxe at 3:55 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


I guess they couldn't think of a Polish stereotype, huh?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:56 PM on February 28, 2013


If you click on the first link you can see they have German, Polish, Spanish (chorizo) and the hot dog.

So no, apparently, they did have a Polish stereotype, but the point is that the Italian one was stolen so the story focuses on that one.
posted by mephron at 4:03 PM on February 28, 2013


Oh, I remember that clearly -- when Randall Simon returned to Miller Park as a Cub the next year, he bought everybody in a randomly chosen section of the park sausages. And his teammates "playfully held him back" as the sausage race came roaring by the visitor's dugout.

But the most surprising thing I've ever read about the sausage race is that it really is an actual race.
posted by ariel_caliban at 4:06 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


My brother-in-law's friend was usually the Italian Sausage the year Randall Simon bopped it. The day Simon did his thing though... they had got stuck doing some activity in the stands and someone else was the Italian that day.
posted by drezdn at 4:16 PM on February 28, 2013


If you click on the first link you can see they have German, Polish, Spanish (chorizo) and the hot dog.

Yeah, I know; that's how I found out there was a Polish one to begin with. It's just weird that there's not an outdated racist stereotype associated with that one like there is for all the others.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:27 PM on February 28, 2013


Even if I wasn't already a life-long Milwaukee Brewers fan.... I would root for them because of the racing sausages. Come on, how can you not root for a team that would feature something so goofy? So glad to hear Guido is back with his friends. And that police sketch cracks me up.
posted by silverstatue at 4:27 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Bah, racing sausages is idiotic. Now pierogi racing, that's real sport.
posted by octothorpe at 4:33 PM on February 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


they'll have to come up with more grease if they want someone to slip them the sausage
posted by pyramid termite at 4:34 PM on February 28, 2013


It's just weird that there's not an outdated racist stereotype associated with that one like there is for all the others.

They're really not racist stereotypes so much as ethnic costumes. The wearing of lederhosen is not a German stereotype, it is an example of traditional Bavarian dress.

Maybe the fact that the hot dog is a black guy wearing a baseball uniform buys into the "black people are good at sports" stereotype? Or the fact that the Guido is dressed as a chef plays into the "Italian food is delicious" stereotype?
posted by mr_roboto at 4:37 PM on February 28, 2013


"Italian food is delicious" stereotype?

Not stereotype. Fact.
posted by jonmc at 4:54 PM on February 28, 2013 [6 favorites]


In 2003, Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon hit him with a baseball bat as he competed in the sausage race.

Aw, the Polish Sausage stopped to help up Guido, while the Bratwurst and the Hot Dog raced for the finish line.
posted by oneirodynia at 5:56 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Point of fact: the costume was stolen from the Milwaukee Curling Club (in Cedarburg.) It was returned to a local bar.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:37 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Obviously, "stealing a seven-foot tall sausage costume that everyone in Milwaukee will recognize" is one of those crimes that sounds great at the time, but in the cold light of day - nah, not so much.
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:21 PM on February 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


This reminds me of that Washington Post story circa 2002 or so when a kid on his summer job driving the Oscar Mayer Weiner Wagon near Washington D.C. accidentally ends up on access road near the Pentagon. The Washington Post had a field day with that one (e.g., "although they feared for the wurst, they discovered no link to al-Qaeda.")
posted by jonp72 at 10:49 AM on March 1, 2013


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